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by Hans Müller after the play by Felix Gandera
one... two... three...
ladies and gentlemen, the gymnastic lesson is over
such I pity, I love gymnastics
for my part, I prefer to play bridge
nurse
yes please?
when will it be over?
another five minutes, Madame
isn't it agreeable?
it is, quite entertaining
bath attendant, when will it be over?
we're finished now, Herr von Pohl
the professor thinks you'll sleep very well after this
slowly...
the way that *** has his fun with me
now to machine no. 3
nurse, please call my pavilion and ask if my maid has returned with the tickets for the Apollo
yes, Madame
good heavens, Madame Eva
we're not again going to the varieté tonight?
did I say "we"? I didn't include you
say, Madame Eva...
what exactly are you looking for in that monkey's den?
I'm looking for...
excitement.
is that so? and I guess I'm not as exiting as that Quick?
what?
no Dicky, you're bourgeois, even if you write poems
bourgeois?
because of you, my family is no longer on speaking terms with me
I've been disinherited, do you hear?
I've acquired an enlarged spleen ...
just to be able to stay near you
since a fortnight, I'm on a diet of okra roots and sage tea
I'm starving
I'm boxed, beaten, ironed out flat
the professor is killing me slowly
because of you, he's jealous
and all that isn't exiting enough for you?
Madame, your maid has just managed to get the last tickets for a box
thank you
bath attendant, get me out of this ironing machine at once
where are going, Dicky?
I'll see to it that you're not going to see Quick tonight!
not you!
nurse
quick. I want to get out of this birdcage
hurry
otherwise he'll *** my tickets
how do you do, Herr von Pohl
good-bye
at such a late hour still having treatments?
yes, treatments, all the time...
have you written another of your beautiful poems?
with all those treatments, I don't have to time for poems any longer
how is your spleen?
she's in need of exercise, otherwise she'll get pinched. good-bye
stop!
you can't order me around
- we'll see about that! - we certainly will!
Dicky!
Charlotte, Madame Pretorius wants you to give me the tickets for the varieté
here you are, Herr von Pohl
thank you, can I use the phone?
- certainly. - thank you.
Charlotte, give me the tickets, quickly
but Herr von Pohl has them already
the last box
Dicky!
give them to me
if you give me your word of honour that you're not going because of Quick
that's none of your business
poor little balcony box. now you must die
Dicky, be reasonable
until now I've been more reasonable that you have been
what is it you want of this Herr Quick?
do you like him?
that clown?
tell me
answer me
what is there so special about that guy?
he's stupid, he's silly
you're in no position to talk about people being stupid and silly. give me the tickets
now I'll burn them for good
Madame Eva
Madame Eva
Eva
Eva, I'm such a ***
I wish I hadn't taken the tickets from her
she's such a sensitive soul
Eva, Eva...
come to me... wake up
what am I to do?
hallo?
Charlotte!
- Charlotte! - Herr von Pohl?
quick, water, smelling salts, vinegar and oil
look at that mess!
the poor Madame, whatever have you done to her? take this
give it to me
does she have these fits often?
it's never happened before
you must rub her chest, over the heart. let me
breathe deeply
breathe
you must have treated her really bad
give her another dose
rub it in
it doesn't work
what shall we do now?
in any case, we won't go out tonight
at your service
here they are, the tickets
quick, the light blue dress with the volants
- Charlotte, when will he be on? - at 9.15, Madame
I'll have lots of time.
lots of time?
doing what?
it's you, professor
no no, leave it on
I'll have to examine you anyway
come here
come here, will you
are you limping?
I've noticed it at once
out of the question
the night is for sleeping alone
breathe deeply
my bronchia are alright, aren't they
you're such a scoundrel, Madame Eva
at first I thought I wouldn't be able to cope with your Herr Dicky
I feel like letting him starve slowly
but what am I to do with a man like Quick?
you'll invite him to a nice party
and then at last you'll present him to me
I shall?
I see, your illness must be treated much more radically
first of all, you go straight to bed
- nurse - why?
there's nothing wrong with me
I've everything I need
nurse, Madame is to get a cold compression at once, and 20 drops of Baldrian and if necessary...
you can all talk till you're blue in the face, I'm going out tonight!
you're going to bed tonight
I'll give you my word
you're going to bed tonight, not to the varieté
finally. where have you been, Marion?
Herr Quick is all nervous.
Herr Quick can *** off for all I care.
I'll give Herr Quick tonight some talking-to he won't forget
don't do anything foolish with your jealousy
don't you meddle in affairs, my dear Clock
especially not when you're drunk
one surely wouldn't get drunk because of you
has anybody seen Quick's manager?
I have, director
no, I haven't seen him, director
what do you mean, you haven't seen me? here I am. are you blind or what?
let's suppose I'm here already
buona sera, direttore
come va, come sta?
- how are you, director - fine
listen, I haven't been able to speak to Quick yet...
but let's suppose Quick will agree to whatever I decide
that is...?
you either double his fee, starting next month...
or we won't renew the contract.
double fee? good heavens
if you need to consider, director, we've already packed. good-bye
one moment, Herr Lademann
not so fast
say, have you already entered negotiations with other parties?
what do you mean by negotiations, director?
the whole world has only one concern at this moment:
where will Quick perform next month?
is that a reception?
is that an applause?
and you want me to yield?
director, this is my last word
if you don't agree on the spot...
I'll ask for triple fees.
my esteemed audience...
look at me
esteemed audience, here stands a beautiful man
esteemed public, what do you say to such chic?
hallo - the Quick
you old crook. I'll have to talk to the board of directors
one moment please
isn't he a talent, isn't he an artist?
he's that kind of an artist
and I am to yield? not a kopeck will I yield!
charming, isn't it?
you can shake it off by writing a poem
I thought you'd given your word of honour that she'll stay in bed tonight
five minutes ago she told me "only over your dead body..."
that's true. I'm a living corpse
in your clinic, I literally died of hunger
esteemed audience, look at me
esteemed audience, here stands a beautiful man
esteemed public, what do you say to such chic?
here's Quick
(broken German, strong British accent) good evening, my dear audience
I'm very happy. are you all here?
and a pretty lady?
- did you see that? - what?
everybody looking up to her box
next time, I'll slap his face onstage
how dare you use that tone, Miss Marion?
an artist's foremost duty is to behave like a gentleman
so shut your trap
that jealous old hag
look at her, laughing at Quick's jokes
when she opens her mouth, it's full of gold teeth
gold teeth, gold teeth...
who are you anyway?
silly fool
my compliments, maestro
one two three I realize that you're overjoyed
here's the sensation, the Quick, the Quick
and whenever a beautiful lady waves to me, I'll pull out my little trick
here's Quick!
every woman who holds herself in esteem
she comes here because she knows she'll get her money's worth
unfortunately I'm not a tenor
but lend me your ear
and listen to me
I'll sing for you
dear lady, come and play with me
why are you so cool to me?
and so hot is the look of your eyes
do you want me, my dear little monkey?
then come to me
then you won't have to be true
it's enough that you're new
that's why I'm your Quick
won't you come with me to a quiet little café?
I'll go with you
to be happy for just a few hours
to be blissfully united
and to be gone again
isn't this happiness?
Madame
come and play with me
why are you so cool with me?
there's no turning back
my little kiss is my best weapon
here she's got the Quick
just a little joke
even when I'm madly in love...
it'll never last very long because there are so many beautiful ladies
I love all women, slim or fat
hello sweet maiden, here's Quick
don't take love too seriously, it's just a joke
and a little farewell letter won't tear your heart apart
don't look at me with such sad eyes full of tears
servus, it has been a pleasure, your Quick
the world may be stupid and sad...
I beg of you, let's not give a damn about money, let's fall in love and kiss
what do we care about...
give the world a kick just like I do
and you all sing with me, my dear sir, you too
dear lady, come and play with me
why are you so cool with me?
and so hot is the look of your eyes
won't you come with me to a quiet little café?
I'll go with you
then you won't have to be true
it's enough that you're new
that's why I'm the Quick
shall I give you something, my sweet little monkey?
here you are
to be happy for just a few hours
to be blissfully united
and to be gone again
that's true happiness
but I love you so much
Madame
come and play with me
why are you so cool with me?
there's no going back
the most beautiful woman in the world, and no gold teeth
Quick knows it very well, bye bye
here's the Quick
bravo Quick, here, take one mark, have a beer on me
clap harder, have another beer, come on
my dear, when I think of the guy five years ago, touring the apartment courtyards the with his fiddle
let anybody try to accomplish what I did!
attention, he's coming
kids, such an atmosphere!
you were in great form tonight
that sweet little woman in the balcony box
you ***, you mean liar!
I don't have time now, kid. write me a letter
you ought to be ashamed, the way you cheat on me! I could scratch your face!
with what, kid?
you're nuts, just nuts
of course I'm nuts, the way I put up with you for so long
do you really need this?
what a pitiful comedian you are. you just get along by kicks in the ***. and the people even find it even funny
leave me alone for a moment, will you
and such a piece of *** plays the Casanova
aren't you ashamed, you?
that's enough. if someone shows some lip around here, it's I!
did you see her?
painted, made-up, vulgar, old
and her mouth filled with gold teeth
gold teeth? who has gold teeth, eh?
- your mysterious beauty - that's a lie
- who's lying around here? - you are
you only want to...
get out
you're throwing me out? you? what are you without me?
you wait and see. from now on I'll be a big star myself
I'll dance solo in the Parisiana
I'm glad about that, but get out now!
let her go, that silly moth
don't get exited
ungrateful ***
it's of no importance
it's much more important what we'll do next month
shall we go to Madrid or renew our contract here?
what we'll do next month is unimportant
but tonight, kids, we'll get drunk
till the chalk drops off the walls
you can drink, Clock, can't you?
you think so?
what a fine profession I have
good evening, Herr Müller
say, do you have the same kind of trouble with your artists?
listen, Herr Schmidt, if Herr Quick asks after me, I'm upstairs in the office
good bye
look here, we would like to talk to that clown
that Quick
is he still here?
what about, gentlemen?
- we would like to.. - no, we must
in short, we want to invite Herr Quick to a private performance
you've come to the right place. let's suppose I'm his manager
we do private performances quite often. if the gentlemen could tell me, when, how much and at whose place?
Eva Pretorius, currently resident at the Sonneneck clinic
pavillon Tusculum, 21 years old, divorced, blonde, pretty
and successfully vaccinated
say, how do you know all that?
Clock, old thing, I'm not as stupid as you are
if I get interested in a woman once every 25 years
and what a woman, I tell you, I'm feeling all dizzy
when I think about it. hand me the bathrobe
I didn't think it would take so long
I'm sorry Madame, but Herr von Pohl is looking for him everywhere
have you found him?
no, I don't find my way around that flea circus
what shall we do now?
I don't know
one moment
excuse me, where's Herr Quick's dressing room?
I'd like to take you to it, but unfortunately I have to perform
ciao, doll
doll?
I must confess, Madame Eva, you evening program turns out to be exiting after all
I'll find him myself
au revoir
- Quick my boy - what is it?
listen to me. I only want your good
you just be careful
she only wants your money
you're not only drunk, you're also clever
or she only wants to be seen with the world-famous Quick
and once the fun is over...
then you'll get a kick, like that
will I?
one knows such things from experience
he who has an affair with a society lady, shall be drowned
that might be true for someone as stupid as you are
but if you're clever...
listen old Clock, a wise man is talking to you
you must tackle the whole thing quite differently, you see
listen to me
get in there
excuse me
can I help you?
could I see Herr Quick?
it is forbidden to enter backstage, Madame
do you know Herr Quick personally?
well I...
you do?
that is, no
is he still in his dressing room?
we'd have to check
thank you
unfortunately Herr Quick has left
now I remember, we left together a few minutes ago
thank you
you're an artist too?
do I look like one?
no, on the contrary
you look far too serious
I have been told this often
I'm a very serious man
if you want to get back to the stage you'll have to come with me
I have expressly forbidden to sit on the curtain weight
if something happens I'm responsible
get going
quick
you see, Madame, this ladder is destined only for grown-up artists
an amusing prison, isn't it?
Quick usually passes this way
you seem to know your way around here
one knows a bit about the varieté...
won't you sit down?
thank you
how exiting!
may I ask who you are?
forgive me that I haven't presented myself. I'm...
Henkel
H. Henkel
excuse me, director Henkel wants you to...
here I am
why are you looking at me like that, boy?
you know perfectly well that I'm not to be bothered when I'm down here
run along, I'll be at my office in a minute, allez-hop
there you are!
there you are, Miss Eva. I've climbed up to the drawing floor
I can't find that monkey
what is it?
may I present the gentlemen
Herr von Pohl. Herr director Henkel of the Apollo
pleased to make your acquaintance
may I ask what monkey you have been looking for here?
you see, Madame had the charming idea...
to invite that clown... what's his name that Quick...to go out with her
look at this!
well
since we haven't found him...
where's the professor?
he's waiting in the car
Madame Eva, hurry up. it's raining cats and dogs outside
we'll drive up to the stage entrance
waiter, let me have this, and this and this and a sausage
here you are sir, a sausage
Dicky!
I'll tell the professor
everybody is starving me. give me a cigar
thank you
hurry up, Madame Eva
what kind of a guy is that?
we ought to expose him on a pedestal
director, I have to say goodbye now
let me ask you a question
you want to invite Quick out tonight?
I wanted to
I could arrange that
too kind, but...
I know perfectly well where Quick spends his evenings after the performance
- really? - I do
no I couldn't possibly
what's the trouble? I'll accompany you
a respectable elderly gentleman
and as to Quick, I can guarantee that he'll be delighted
- you think so? - I know it
and what shall I do with Herr von Pohl?
that funny character who just left?
if I were you I wouldn't do anything with that one
so, Madame, would you like to surprise Mr. Quick?
is that his favorite nightclub? very exiting
take a seat, Madame
excuse me, I'll see if Herr Quick is here already
do you know Quick?
I'm sorry, someone like myself doesn't have the chance to go to the varieté
excellent. don't say anything
sir, I've been serving in the séparé for 20 years
fine. listen, when I ring once you'll enter and announce:
"Quick has phoned, he'll be here soon"
and when I ring twice...
"Quick has phoned, he isn't able to come tonight"
please repeat
when the gentleman rings once, Herr Quick will come
when the gentleman rings twice, Her Quick won't come
it's very simple
what's the matter?
I knew he wouldn't come
Madame, you must be patient
director, I want to leave
don't be so nervous
please call a car
as you wish. the car
here's the car (Wagen = car, trolley)
- well? - has the gentleman rung once or twice? - I have rung once
Herr Quick has just phoned, he'll come tonight
now sit down, Madame
you've ordered all that? what if my professor knew about it
the professor also has just phoned
he asked me to inform you that tonight everything is permitted
the lady has just left with Herr Quick
what did you say?
what? with Herr Quick?
where to?
and when he looks at you with his big brilliant blue eyes
like this?
like this you mean, don't you?
no, not at all like this
or when he stands before you
insolent, when he laughs at you
bends over you and says...
do you want to take me, my sweet little monkey?
here I am
you would starve as an actor
a Quick you're not
I'm not?
what a pity. and I had hoped so much...
that you would take me for Quick for just a little while.
you'd better not wish that
why not?
well, Quick rhymes with...
Augenblick (spur of the moment)
that's great
do you know what I mean?
it would be an hour, an hour, and then...
over
over
so that's the way you imagine it
what if a more serious man came along?
a businessman, not an artist
for instance, a director
couldn't one get along with him for a longer time?
do I have to answer you right now, so hop hop so ???
Herr Quick has just phoned...
he's unable to come tonight
look at those artists, totally unreliable
I'm terribly sorry
excuse me a moment
there you are
this is what I call true friendship
you let us drown in the rain
while Madame sits comfortably with Herr Quick
Quick? you're dreaming
so it's just you
my dear Madame
may I present the gentlemen
director Henkel of the Apollo theatre
professor Bertram
- pleased to make your acquaintance - likewise, professor
for days now we've been passionate admirers of the varieté
so that's why we're sold out every night
Madame Eva, it's one o'clock, time to go to bed
I'm Madame's medical conscience
but Herr von Pohl!
I have forbidden you that!
there she is
- au revoir, director - au revoir
you'll be seeing Herr Quick often, won't you?
indeed
then tell him how sorry I was that we didn't meet, will you?
don't take love seriously
it's only a joke
a missed rendez-vous
doesn't tear your heart apart
don't look at me with such sad eyes
with eyes full of tears
adieu, it has been a pleasure
you're no Quick
heavily swollen
swollen?
swollen
and why shouldn't it be swollen, with all those excitements?
now that awful Henkel doesn't leave her side
he turned out to be a perfect horror
he even addresses all the bath attendants with the familiar "Du"
the same with the nurses
what new prescription are you writing now?
my good friend, you are still eating far too much
from today, instead of a warm supper ...
you'll get a cold enema
by the way, for tonight I've put Madame Eva out of action
she's currently undergoing a cure of silence on the veranda
then she'll go to the baths
then to the resting hall
and tonight we have our party
I believe for today we've put Henkel on the dry (Henkel "trocken/dry" = German Mousseux)
wonderful
good-bye
cure of silence
to be happy for just a few hours
to be blissfully united
and then to be gone again
that's true happiness
I see, that's why I was sent outside
so that Madame can speak at ease
then I'll have to take the gramophone away
Charlotte
come here
has Quick accepted for tonight?
Herr Lademann has just called, he hasn't been able to reach Herr Quick yet
but he'll surely see him tonight
Madame is to rely entirely on Herr Lademann
did you get the cuff-links?
but director Henkel was supposed to bring them
I see, Henkel
such a nice gentleman
why does Madame treat him so badly?
I think I've been patient enough with him
if only he had just a little in common with Quick
Madame Eva
Madame Eva
hallo
Madame Eva
not one word to director Henkel! he's not to know about tonight!
he's far too jealous of Quick already
get lost, quick
my dear Madame Eva, I've torn myself away from the most urgent business...
just to squeeze your little hand
how is my little sun ray?
how so?
what's the matter?
the professor has ordered Madame to be silent for two hours
because of her nerves
and just when I was going to ask her something really important
not one word?
you see, I've dreamed of you so sweetly tonight
I ran up and down the clinic like a madman
I couldn't find you anywhere
suddenly I was in your bedroom, and...
you weren't there either
then I felt such an intense longing for you
I opened my arms and...
suddenly you just lay there
pressed tight to my chest
keep silent, little Eva
or I'll tell the doctor
and you were whispering "Henkel"
"my golden little Henkel", you said
"you're the only one, the best, the dearest, the sweetest"
"the truest friend I can think of."
and then you were whispering very faintly
so faintly that I could hardly hear you
nurse, get me a drink
certainly, director
how dare you speak to me in such a tone?
Madame Eva, let me tell you something
I've been courting you now for five days
I haven't gotten any further on the sixth day
which hasn't happened to me since I was 13
that shows what kind of women you've been courting till now
in your varieté
so that's what you're calling a cure of silence?
a good day to you
you're taking the words out of my mouth, Herr von Pohl
how's your appetite, Herr von Pohl?
may I assist you a bit with your diet?
not much, but from the heart
thank you
very much
you see
with the chicken in your hand
you'll get around the whole land
I've brought something for you too, Madame Eva
the cuff-links?
no, I'm sorry
cuff-links for ladies are very rare
instead, I've brought myself
in my office, as dictator
the resemblance makes you want to vomit
but please not in here
I've got to take you to the baths in an hour
if we don't see each other again, good-bye
come
see you tomorrow. I have to go to bed tonight very early
come now. the bathtub is running over
good-bye
operator, connect me with the Apollo
yes, Apollo varieté
that stays here, we've no use for the trombone number in the clinic
what do I care about a trombone's life
where's the phone?
where's the phone?
my latest number: the musical box
you're very funny
offstage
hallo
this is Quick's dressing room
be quiet
it's you. at last. where've you been all this time?
listen Lademann, get me a pair of nice cuff-links
which are suitable for an elegant woman as well
to go with a a batiste blouse
it can be expensive too
good-bye
hallo, you, wait
I have to tell you two things as well
very urgent
first: you'll perform at a private party tonight after the performance
- address... - that's interesting, my boy, but totally unimportant
you can tell me that tonight at the performance
and second?
and second, I congratulate you, I've just concluded transactions with Madrid
you'll give a farewell performance tomorrow at the matinee
and we'll depart at 16.45
have you gone completely mad?
it's out of the question
yes, it's my business
how does my friend Lademann put it: "let's suppose it's because of a woman"
I see
my contract doesn't provide for my right to a private life
I don't care
I don't care a bit
even if they triple my fee, I'm not leaving!
as you please
but let me inform you that the penalty is 50.000 pesetas
and my share is 15 %
hallo Quick, are you still there?
that mad chicken
take it
acknowledged receipt
Ladies' Bathing-Room
- where's Madame Pretorius - in the bath, director
excellent, I must see her at once
but director!
Madame Eva, answer me
one moment, bath attendant
the situation is unbearable
I'm an invalid
and you're playing submarine with me
but director, that's impossible. she's in the bathtub
excellent
Madame Eva
Madame Eva
yes?
I have to leave on an urgent business trip tomorrow, for a long time
maybe even for a very long time
so I'll put my question differently, did you understand me?
no, someone next door makes a terrible noise
Madame Eva
- is it important? - terribly important
come in then
did you hear that?
I see
what's that?
a "moor" bath (Moor = mud, bog)
of all the crazy things people invent nowadays
well?
do you want to marry me?
listen to me
it's almost 6 o'clock
tonight I'm working in my office till 9.30 p.m.
then I have a little private ... conference
at 10.35 I'll call again
at 10.40 I'll have your consent
tomorrow at noon we'll get married
what hors d'oeuvres would you like?
listen, stop joking
charming
what a figure
charming
yes, "the moor has done its duty" (Schiller quote)
and you may go (quote continues)
you're here already?
Lademann, what are you doing here?
why did you fool bring my stuff in here?
but I have to prepare everything
what was that?
do you want to perform here without props and costume?
how do you mean, perform? who'll perform here?
but you're performing here tonight
they've paid 500 marks in advance, and we'll get the rest tomorrow
by the way, here are your cuff-links
you idiot, what nonsense are you talking?
there's Madame
Madame, you've arranged the performance for tonight, haven't you?
how do you mean? I have? perhaps the professor
excuse me, I've just had a bath, I have to rest now
Madame, I just wanted to tell you, the affair with Quick is concluded
yes, Quick will come
Quick will come?
how so? where will he come? I don't know what you mean
Madame, let's suppose...
Quick has just expressly...
given his consent.
as to director Henkel...
the affair will also be...
settled.
really?
I'm relieved
in fact I didn't dare tell you
thank you
gentlemen, I'll lie down now for a while
say, what exactly is this place here? a clinic?
since you're here, it's a madhouse
Lademann, you silly fool
now I'll try to explain
that little woman you just saw...
that's the woman because of whom I...
in other words, that woman is...
my woman, understood?
that woman is your woman?
I see, then...
why?
you really have no clue at all
that woman is your woman...
and she believes that you...
she believes that director Henkel and you...
one moment, she believes that Quick and I...
please, let's suppose I've understood everything
don't laugh like a fool
don't shout in here
people will think I'm killing my patients
but that's what you're doing
are you going to wait till that horrible Henkel digs my grave?
he asks Madame Eva if she wants to marry him
and he tries to get rid of me with moldy fried chicken
what do you intend to do about it?
you're a fraud
you've invited that Quick behind my back
such insolence
admit it
get that Quick affair out of your head
that I might have given my consent...
that fool out there has completely misunderstood
I'm telling you once again: Quick won't come tonight
again that tone?
what business is that to you?
what business that is to me?
it depends entirely on me
what that Mr. Quick can do and cannot do.
director, please lower your voice
excuse me
my dear Madame Eva, look at me
do you really want to sacrifice our friendship
for a costumed clown you've a crush on?
director, really, Madame needs her rest
yes yes of course
Eva, you really could...
if you speak to me in such a tone you won't get an answer
I'm telling you now: no no no
good night
Madame Eva
Madame Eva
be reasonable, Eva
there are things in life one cannot explain
but to chose between a man made of flesh and blood
and a costume
I'm asking you for the last time
will you give up your crush on Quick, because of me?
I'd never marry a woman who snores like that
have fun tonight
I wish you a pleasant snoring
professor, here he comes
my dear director Henkel, you know how much I like you
- but... - but what?
but regarding Madame Pretorius' nerves I must ask you in all politeness
to cut down your visits just a little bit
allow me to tell you one thing, professor
not ten horses could drag me again into your monkeys' den
because I don't want to ruin my health and my nerves
you're turning out madmen like an assembly line
bon appé***, Herr von Pohl
he's right all the same
you know professor, I cannot stand you
likewise
but a woman like Madame Eva
she even makes associates out of deadly enemies
isn't it interesting?
that's the stuff for a very personal poem
the title: Hunger and Love
#Love is a Power from Heaven#
ladies and gentlemen, now was to follow the clou of the evening
but unfortunately Herr Quick has cancelled at the last minute
don't be disappointed, ladies and gentlemen
an artist of at least the same rank will compensate for our loss
Herr von Pohl has the kindness to recite poems of his own production
To the Moon
Yellow moon, you pass so quietly
partly by day, and partly by night
tiri tiri tiralala
moon, the creator's will
has made you the patron of all lovers
tiri tiri tiralala
fantastic
ah, I want to surrender to you
partly by day, and partly by night
longing had been the boy's life
love has made a man out of me
tiri tiri tiralala
one moment
shall we try again to reach his manager?
so your good mood is totally spoilt?
and all this because of Quick?
is the gentleman that important?
important? I don't care about anything
good evening, ladies and gentlemen
Herr Lademann
Madame, a big surprise
let's suppose Quick will come after all. he'll be here in two minutes
-really? - yes
hallo, Mr. Professor (speaking again broken German with British accent)
how are you?
good evening, Herr Quick. I'm delighted that you could come after all
yes, at first I didn't want to come
but then I thought...
that perhaps it'll be very interesting for me
very kind. if you please
may I present Herr Quick?
Madame Eva Pretorius
I'm delighted to meet you in person, Herr Quick
very glad to meet you, Madame
Oh I see, the lady from the balcony box
yes, I've admired you very often before
and I've admired you much more often
but that's impossible, Miss
Herr Quick hasn't come here to have his appendix removed
but I beg of you, Herr Lademann
but this is the pedicure's room
our clinic doesn't accept any sick patients
so you, moon, take care of me
partly by day, partly by night
tiri tiri tiralala
always at day, never at night
tiri tiri tiralala
master, you've touched my deepest emotions
there's nothing more exiting than a beautiful poem
would you risk 300 marks?
why?
you know, I'm the managing director of the bookstore Kochs Gnädige Witwe Insterburg
we only publish hunting literature, but...
in your case
what? a whole book, between hard covers?
that has always been my dream
I already have a title
"Songs on a Disinherited One" (enterbt)
beautiful
oh, Madame
I am to deliver sweet greetings
from the part of my director
here you are
here are the buttons I forgot to give to you H. Henkel
you know my director?
slightly
and... do you like him?
I mean, how do you like him?
a bit boring
I see
well, Madame...
Mr. Henkel is a perfect gentleman
you just have to know him better
that's possible
but...
may I announce you to our guests now?
ladies and gentlemen, we're ready
may I ask you all into the garden
Madame is wanted on the phone
- who is it? - director Henkel
hello Madame Eva, this is Henkel
I didn't want to annoy you any more in this life, Madame
but since I have some business right in your neighborhood...
a question:
has Quick arrived yet?
he hasn't?
a pity
he's a terrible man
I asked him to deliver a small greeting to you
well you know, those famous stars like to make people wait
but if he comes after all...
what are you planning to do with him?
funny question
what would I be planning to do with him?
I'll let him sing his song, then I'll send him home
hallo
where are you? please answer
hello, Quick here!
I'm at your disposal, Madame
gentlemen, if you please...
very nice
I beg your pardon, director Henkel is here
oh, my director
it's alright
be so good and get rid of that Henkel
I can't explain now, don't let him talk
I won't let him talk, you can rely on me
thank you
ah, director Henkel
good evening give my regards to Madame your wife
good-bye, director
what is it?
I must ask you...
...
...
#Madame, come and play with me
#why are you so cool with me
you're not angry that I keep you away from that delicious spectacle of the arts?
not at all, Madame. I've been forced to watch Quick eleven times this month
after that, those delights have less appeal
that is, the spiritual delights have less appeal
may I offer you something?
I'm putting on too much weight anyway
but Madame!
in fact, we understand each other perfectly
and once your book has come out...
"The Songs of a Depraved One" (verderbt)
# come and play with me
# why are you so cool with me
do you hear how out of tune the guy is singing?
you're musical too?
Herr Dicky, you've so many talents!
Madame, I would like to have another cheese sandwich
a thousand thanks, Madame
for this beautiful...
wonderful...
unexpected hour.
and I, Herr Quick...
Charlotte, some mokka please
I, Herr Quick, thank you for the pleasure you have brought to all of us
thank you
cuff-links. I couldn't accept that
they're not that valuable
how so?
shall we try...
to put them on?
can I help you?
here you are
but you mustn't spoil me, Madame
I know perfectly well..
Quick, that's just a spur of the moment (Augenblick)
Quick, that's just one hour
one hour and then - bye bye
but wouldn't it be amusing...
a little distraction of just one hour
one beautiful hour
Herr Quick!
this isn't on tonight's program
excuse me a moment
poor little Henkel
I feel really sorry for you, my boy
but what must be done, shall be done
there's no answer
hallo hallo
run along and tell Herr von Pohl he's to come here at once
but Dicky, I've never seen you having so much fun!
why's that?
I've eaten my fill
to be happy for just a few hours
to be blissfully united
and to be lost again
isn't that true happiness?
Madame
come and play with me
why are you so cool with me?
there's no turning back
my little kiss, my best weapon
here I am, your...
Madame, Herr Dicky will be here any moment
Dicky?
Dicky?
who's that?
nobody. a friend I've asked to come
then send him away again
- I can't. - but I want you to
impossible. what shall I tell him?
tell him what you like. tell him...
you're not at home...
you've flown away, you've gone to bed
as you like, what you want
but he'll see the lights burning in the house
Madame Eva
Madame Eva
Madame Eva
are you there?
why did you call me if you're sleeping already?
I'm drunk
yellow moon, you stand so still
partly by day, partly by night
good night, Herr Quick
good night
Herr Quick
this is madness
madness
but your wish, Madame
is my command
here I am
a Quick
careful with daddy's stuff
don't complain
you haven't invented hard work either
stop, put it down
run over to the clinic and get our reserve outfit
it'll do for today's matinee
this stuff goes to the station
stop. the stuff stays here
why?
Quick doesn't perform any more
Quick will leave on a long pleasure trip
to Africa...
hello, Schmidt. one double
because today is the last
one double, yessir
he's talking nonsense, take it to the station
get going, kids. let's see those muscles in action
the train won't wait
I don't believe it, get going
my throat is all dry, I think I'll have one too
don't be shy, Schmidt, go on, full house
your health Lademann, you old Swede
have you gone completely mad?
why so, sir?
all that because of that blonde?
that's it
does she know already who you really are?
Harry turn round, this is for grown-ups only
there's the rub
I wanted to conquer the sweet little woman all by myself
by myself, as I really am, as I'm drinking cognac here right now
and who snatched her away from me?
that Herr Quick
that painted monkey, that comedian
my dear friend, you ought to have thought of it before
later one is always wiser
help me now. kill him
whom? the Quick! get rid of him. *** him.
you manage that. you're famous for it
you've promised to be my manager. why am I paying you 12 %?
15 %
let's suppose I'll manage that
will you leave with me for Madrid after today's performance, yes or no?
don't try that blackmail with me
first you show me some results, my boy
it's no trouble at all
listen. has she ever given you a present?
you're crazy. I won't allow a lady to give me presents
that's a pity
of course, Lademann
my cuff-links
give them to me
give them to me. let's suppose I have a plan
I don't understand, speak up
- am I your friend? - Lademann, you're dynamite!
disgusting
Herr von Pohl
Herr von Pohl, it's time for your bath
what's the meaning of this?
Herr von Pohl is very nervous today, professor
nervous?
why?
Herr von Pohl, what's the meaning of this?
what's the meaning of this?
a poem? to me?
farewell to the tyrant of the clinic
you've tortured me
I've been starved to death here
only when I found a kindred spirit
I started to eat, to convalesce
now *** off.
unfortunately I cannot fulfill all of my patients' desires
Charlotte
Charlotte
Miss Charlotte
good day, my child. didn't you hear me ring?
the director must excuse, but all the bells in the house are out of order
I don't know who broke the electricity last night
tell Madame that I'm here
Madame is still sleeping
she hasn't made a move yet
Charlotte
you're here so early?
the earlier the morning, the more beautiful the guest
so... what's the reason for the honour of your visit?
sit down here
Charlotte, would you leave us alone for a moment?
certainly, director
Madame Eva must have gone to bed quite late last night
not later than usual
or hardly
how was the party?
like all parties
and Quick? how do you like him, as a person?
I only met Quick as an artist, and I must say...
that he's a great artist, well the experts agree about that
I mean, how do you like Quick as a man?
as a man?
as a man, he doesn't interest me at all.
mirror, mirror, in your hand...
so what?
does this name sound familiar to you?
come in
are you alone?
yes, what's up?
he's outside. all's set for the execution
tell the madman he's not to overdo it
you can count on me. it'll be a first class funeral
director...
Madame
director, I wanted to...
you see, last night during the performance...
but my dear Madame, you don't have to explain
it's no big deal
come with me
I have a surprise for you
what is it?
let the gentleman enter
good morning, Madame
good morning, sir
company, good morning
who's that?
that's my little surprise
I thought Madame would be most interested to meet the famous Quick
in civilian clothes
Quick?
you see, Madame, artists are peculiar
one is tight in the evening, the other in the morning
our good friend Quick...
he's that way in the mornings and in the evenings
but that's impossible!
Madame, the buttons were very pretty
but where's the "püt püt"
but we've already settled your fee
adieu, gentlemen
if you please
get going
allez hop
so that's the reward for undertaking on such a difficult speaking part early in the morning
out with you
let's go. Director Henkel is quite the gentleman today
that wasn't Quick, right?
you just wanted to get Quick out of my system
Eva, and now I've the courage to tell you...
who Quick really is.
who is he?
come on
come to you good old true Quick
what's so funny about it?
one false Quick is enough
but two false Quicks within 15 minutes, that's too much
Eva, my sweet girl
I give you my word of honour: I am Quick
my dear, my good director
for telling lies, I'm giving you bad marks
leave telling lies to us women
this is our specialty
what's the matter?
what are you hiding?
I'm afraid Madame will get angry
give it to me
Quick gives his farewell performance today in the afternoon
at the Apollo
Father Schmidt, look at this this basket
to the great artist Quick. where shall we put it?
certainly not in here. with all the food inside it'll ruin my business
put it over there
you can think of nothing else the whole day but of that...
damned affair with that crazy blonde
what do you mean? who's mad? who's blonde?
Lademann, don't interfere with affairs which aren't settled yet
my private life is none of your business
gentlemen, the performance
alright, go away
- think about your future - rubbish
listen, she's no wife for you
you need at least a grand-duchess
idiot
listen, I'll give you a good piece of advice
my good friend, I've enough advices to last me till the 1st May 1958
shut up
or I'll split your head
can't you look where you're going?
I'm telling you for the last time: if you don't finish the affair with that blonde...
then what?
then it'll be all over between us
great, Lademann. I've been waiting for this for years
- then I'll keep my 12 % - 15 %
you'll have to make a choice
here's art, there's love
not bad, the boy is 1000% right
you two can talk till you're blue in the face
I'm getting the girl
I'm getting her
crazy chicken
you'll see, Clock, those affairs with women are just the beginning of a downfall
Dicky, you called for me?
what's the matter? I'm in a hurry
just one word.
adieu
adieu?
you don't know the news?
no
my poems will be published
and I wanted to ask you how many copies you would like to order in advance
well, one or two dozen, one cannot have too many copies in the house
one moment
Brigitte, take a note: three dozen
yes, Dicky, sweetheart
wasn't that Madame Koch's voice?
isn't she sweet?
actually she only publishes hunting literature
but she'll publish me for free
esteemed audience, look at me
esteemed audience, here stands a beautiful man
esteemed audience, what do you say to such chic?
here Quick!
I would like to speak to Herr Quick
Herr Quick is not available, he's on stage at the moment
tell him Madame Pretorius is here
if Madame will come this way
one moment
director, that lady wished to speak to Quick
but that's impossible
Henkel. excuse me, but Herr Quick is performing at the moment
if you could wait till his number is over
with whom do I have the honour?
director Henkel
that's not true. I know director Henkel
I'm sorry, Madame, I don't have a brother, and ...
there's no second director at the Apollo
excuse me, director Henkel, an urgent letter
are you now convinced?
may I go out to the audience for just one moment, director H. Henkel?
Madame, here comes Quick!
you crook, you mean person
so you finally know your dear Quick
little Eva, come and play with me
never!
never again be cool with me!
there's no way back
- let go of me! - I won't
- let go of me - I won't
now you'll stay with...
Quick
take a bow
excuse me, dear public
this naughty little lady
curtain
curtain, damn it
Eva, good gracious, hold tight
Eva, I order you to come down
I love you, dear girl
raise the curtain
I forbid you to annoy Herr Quick right now
but Quick, our train leave in 15 minutes
did you hear, my dearest girl, in 15 minutes
bon voyage
only with you
get down at once
I won't
you won't come down? then I'll come up
all those affairs with women drive me completely mad
Eva, listen to me
don't touch me
Eva, don't make matters worse for me
why did you lie to me?
what do you mean, lie to you? that's unimportant now
I want to carry you on my hands all my life
it's to drive one mad. and the audience even applauds
curtain
good heavens, don't fall
did you get hurt?
my little miss, and I'm used to carry her on my hands
then it'll never happen again
I knew it would turn out that way
let's suppose I'm a visionary
here are our three tickets to Madrid
see you at the station
(British accent) will you come with your dear old Quick? hmm?
you won't?
(in perfect German) Madame would prefer to accompany director Henkel?
neither?
or...
or...
or you'd prefer to go with...
with me?
you?
with you... yes
please don't look, my dear audience
curtain, please
translation serdar002