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My wife and I were reading the news today
there was this sinkhole man on
front-page as she was like what if that happens to one of our kids. I said:
Well, that wouldn't be a problem
because Jaime's so fat he wouldn't even enter to the sinkhole
Now, I'm sleeping on the couch today.
Keep in mind that this
is not for kids, close the door
if you're a kid, stop the video now.
If your kid needs lipitor
then this video is exactly for you
if you're familiar with
'oh my knees hurt mommy', or with 'oh man, I want those pringles'
And you are like
'You've just had dinner Tom!'
And Tom is like...
'But mooom, Pringles are good for me'. OK, this video may be definitely for you. A chubby kid is...
A happy kid
Until he starts getting bullied and
becomes totally antisocial. You may be like...
childhood obesity is not a problem anymore
the doctor is lying to you
if you're watching this video you may be a little bit concerned about your kid
or maybe you just enjoy watching a puppet...
global warming is not a problem anymore, sinkholes are not a problem anymore
listen carefully
I know you're thinking, this puppet is going to tell me to ditch my wendy's, kfc, burgers...
you keep eating that stuff, you're already **** up
your kid is another business, but I may be wrong, maybe you've already tried to do it
but you're kid is like 'ewww, what's that?'
and you're like
'that's food eat it!' This is not about eating lettuce
celery? Are you serious? It tastes like ****
It makes me feel like a rabbit
It's long, it's hard
but it's really tasteless, maybe that's why my wife calls me celery...
see?, you wouldn't eat that
I don't care, that's horrible diet advice
You know I also know how to confuse parents... CELERY, CELERY, CELERY
Well, what's the solution, you might say
Well yeah, Pringles are super tasty, but you have one and five seconds later...
you look at the can and you are like what the ****?
The same thing happens to your kids
but they don't care about their bodies, so they eat can after can after can... What makes Pringles tasty? Wheat starch, rice flour, vegetable oils... cancer, diabetes, heart disease...
'Mr. Blue Puppet, if Pringles are not good, then...
What is good?
It may be about calories, if you want to be a rabbit, then go ahead and starve yourself... A can of Pringles have 150 calories per portion. Reality says that each can has 5 portions. THATS 750 CAL!
Ok, that's not really bad
BUT
After one can
You're like, I can have some fried chicken, maybe ..
some rice, maybe two more cans...
*** it's addictive. 750 calories
to still be hungry? I don't want to be a rabbit but I hate sumos.
Compare this
that was:
Three big apples. Up to this point you may be like 'oh, my toddler wouldn't eat that...'
Well, if you haven't heard 'an apple a day keeps the doctor away',
you may have heard
'a bunch of pills a day,
keeps the doctor without bills'
This, plus THIS
Three apples, two plumbs and two peaches, seems like a lot food
but it's not nearly
750 calories, SMALL
All of this, plus this:
it's not nearly 750 calories and you can add the celery and lettuce if you want
the point is that not kid
or adult in the world
would be able to eat all of that and still be hungry
and if you're still hungry after eating all of that, maybe one of you grandparents had the genes of a ****
mixed between the X and the Y
toddlers love sweet stuff, so try it! And if you miss your salty pringles...
Well,
put some ****** salt on top of the fruit
That's it
No celebrity testimonials or ****
Just try this
if it doesn't work let's consider this
I'm sleeping in the couch, dinner will probably be celery How can you
possibly
get worse results?
leukemia, gonorrea, sifilis...