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I think that my first fight was monumental in terms of the lessons I learnt, especially about boxing itself.
How I got into boxing was quite organic, and it was very much about, okay, I'll give it a go.
Alright I'll, you know, do you want an attempt at the championship? Alright then. I'll have a go.
I think I was a product of my own success, I guess. I didn't really think too much about doing it. I just done it.
And as a result of doing well, it kind of paved another bit of path for me.
And then I kind of continued on that journey and it just kind of followed like that really, and...took me all the way up to the GB Camp.
So you know, which is quite crazy to think, considering that first fight when, you know, I knew so little about boxing.
It was just very much, okay, let's give it a go.
I'm nervous, and I'm thinking, why am I doing this?
I'm filled with a little bit of doubt, and I want people to be proud of me. Most of all I wanna be proud of myself.
I hear the crowd building outside and you can hear their reactions to whoever's fighting in the ring
And that kind of raises my temperature a little bit again because I'm getting nervous and anxious.
And also eager to get out in the ring because I want it to be my turn.
I wanna get in the ring and I just wanna get on with the fight.
Me and all the boys that were boxing were downstairs in the smaller gym, waiting to come up and box.
And I remember we were all talking, and some of the boys were like, oh I heard your girl's had like six fights or something.
And I remember in my head I just was like panicking. I was like, oh my God, six fights! I haven't even had any!
And I think that's when the realisation came in that you know I'm going to box, and this girl's quite experienced.
I guess I let all these kind of voices in my head get the better of me.
So I get in the ring, and I'm just kinda this bag of energy and I'm kind of, you know, raring to go, and the adrenalin's going
And then the bell rings and I come out and I'm just going for it. And I'm like a rocket just going off.
And I can't remember too much, but I remember people shouting, like cheering for me and that kind of thing.
And I remember thinking, oh you know, I'm doing well.
By the third round it was kind of like, I'd went from kind of up there with all my energy
to like a massive slump, just kind of like had nothing left.
In my head, you know my mind's saying
you know, put your hands up, keep moving but it was the weirdest feeling.
It was like my arms wouldn't correlate, or they couldn't connect with what my mind's telling me to do.
So I'm getting punched and the fight ended and that was it. It was ended.
She won. And it was just she got the better of me.
I came out of the ring, and then after I kind of got my energy back and I was kinda chuffed.
I've got pictures of that night with me and my coach kind of, you know, arm around him, smiling
Lots of positives and negatives about the whole thing all in one.
It was ah I lost or...But yeah, you know, I done it.
All those kind of things. And I needed it.
I learnt what it felt like to be so tired you feel like you can't even stand up.
So tired that you're dazed, that everything looks like a blur.
So tired that your mind's working but it's like your body doesn't, there's a link missing.
I needed that, because otherwise I probably...I can't say I probably wouldn't have gone on to win what I've won,
but it definitely gave me a good foundation to know what not to do.
So yeah. I wouldn't recommend losing your first fight but it worked for me. It definitely worked for me.
Every single fight I've had, win or lose, I've learned from it.
It hasn't been for nothing, although sometimes at the time, when you have a bad loss you feel rubbish, you know.
We can be really tough on ourselves and really kind of hard on what we should have delivered, and that kind of thing.
But the important thing I think is to take from that is what you've learnt from the loss.
And keep it with you to turn it into something positive, which is quite hard to do.
Losing isn't easy.
But nor is winning. Both are hard but you're, it's just how you handle both of them, you know.
Even after you've won, it's kind of an anti-climax, because it's like, right, back in the gym. When's the next one?
So you're kinda like, oh, I've won! You know. But you can't be savouring it too much because you've got...
..you've still got work to do and, you know, it's on to the next thing.
Having spoken about all the different little boxing journeys I've had,
the obvious one would be winning gold at the European Unions, the EUs in 2008.
Simply because I had little expectations.
Not because I didn't believe in myself - or maybe I didn't as much as I thought I could.
But I went there just kind of, just really happy to be there, you know.
And then in the end I think I won my first fight, it was really close,
and from there it was like I had a switch in my head, and it was kinda like
so what if they've had like 60 fights or 100 fights? So you, like you're here, you're here to... You've trained just as hard.
You're here to win. Get the medal.
And I did. And that was the kind of, you know, it was very much a real journey for me in terms of how
I kind of focused on getting the job done, I guess, and kind of believing in myself and
and not listening to the negative voices.
I just went in there and was like, so what? like, I can box. I'm gonna...I'm gonna do this.
So yeah, and it was cool. It was a good result.
When I'm in the moment in the middle of the fight, it's almost a feeling of total peace and silence
and the only voice that I can hear is my own.
And it's that feeling of almost total elation, knowing that you're nearly there, that you've nearly won.
You know trophies are great as well because they're rewards, but I think...
I think for me it's the personal reward as well,
that I put my mind to it, and trained hard, and the outcome was a positive one.