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PREVIOUSLY ON "VERONICA MARS"...
SO, IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY --
THERE'S A NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN?
UNTIL THE SPECIAL ELECTION, ANYWAY.
DO YOU LIKE MOVIES?
LET'S GO.
I KNOW WHAT I LIKE. WHY WASTE MY TIME?
LIKE WHY BOTHER WITH SOMETHING NOT GOOD
JUST BECAUSE IT'S SOMETHING?
I WAS THINKING OF ASKING PARKER OUT,
AND I WANTED TO MAKE SURE IT WAS COOL WITH YOU.
OF COURSE. THANK YOU FOR ASKING.
SURE. I KNOW WE'RE FRIENDS.
SEE YA.
GOOD LUCK.
UH, COFFEE WITH CREAM.
UH, ACTUALLY, COULD I GET A COUPLE OF THEM?
THANK YOU.
HERE. I HATE TO THINK OF YOU UNDERCAFFEINATED.
DANKE.
IT'S 8:00 A.M. SHOULDN'T YOU BE IN A WETSUIT SOMEWHERE?
EARLY POLI-SCI.
AND YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOING?
I EVEN BOUGHT THIS AMAZING PEN
THAT ACCENTS TEXT IN NEON COLORS.
[ GASPS ] A HIGHLIGHTER!
LOTS OF ADVANCEMENTS SINCE THE LAST TIME I BUCKLED DOWN.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
UH, VIOLENCE IN EARLY ADOLESCENCE.
NEED ME TO AUTOGRAPH YOUR TEXTBOOK?
THANKS, BUT...
SO, WHAT DO I OWE YOU FOR THE JOE?
EH, JUST PAY IT FORWARD.
HEY, BY THE WAY,
I'M THROWING A BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR PARKER THIS WEEKEND.
I'VE BEEN STUDYING UP.
I WATCHED "MY SUPER SWEET 16."
YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE I CAN GET A DOZEN EUNUCHS, DO YOU?
NOT OFFHAND. I COULD MAKE SOME CALLS.
IF YOU'RE NOT BUSY,
I KNOW SHE'D REALLY LIKE YOU TO BE THERE.
WE BOTH WOULD. THINK ABOUT IT.
IS MR. MARS IN?
NO. SORRY. WE'VE SHUT DOWN FOR A WHILE.
YOU OWN BABYLON GARDENS, DON'T YOU?
MY DAD AND I GET TAKEOUT THERE ALL THE TIME.
I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH YOUR DAUGHTER.
OUR RESTAURANT WAS VANDALIZED --
ROCKS THROUGH OUR WINDOW.
THEY SPRAY-PAINTED "TERRORIST" ON OUR DOOR.
IS THERE SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP US?
I BELIEVE THERE IS.
JIMMY.
HEY. YOUR TAB.
HEY. COME ON. SIGN IT AND HIT THE ROAD.
[ TIRES SCREECH, HORN BLARES ]
Veronica: TOMORROW I'LL SET THE CAMERAS.
TONIGHT, IT'S THE OLD-FASHIONED STAKEOUT.
I TOOK THIS CASE SO I WOULDN'T HAVE TIME
TO DWELL ON PARKER'S BIRTHDAY PARTY,
AND NOW HERE I AM SITTING IN A CAR
WITH NOTHING BUT A WHOLE LOT OF DWELLING TIME ON MY HANDS.
VERONICA MARS?
AMIRA... LONG TIME, NO SEE.
YEAH.
LIKE, SINCE MY SENIOR YEAR,
WHEN YOU MADE MY PIRATE POINTS WORTHLESS.
WOW. GOOD MEMORY.
I HEARD YOU WERE AT HEARST, BUT I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU.
YEAH, DIFFERENT CIRCLES, I GUESS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?
YOUR MOM HIRED ME TO WATCH THE PLACE
IN CASE THERE ARE ANY MORE...INCIDENTS.
MY MOM HIRED YOU?
YEP.
HAVE A BLAST.
I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH COUNTY.
THE KID'S NEVER GONNA WALK AGAIN.
ANY IDEA WHAT A 19-YEAR-OLD WAS DOING DRINKING IN HERE?
HIS I.D. SAID HE WAS 21.
YEAH, I SAW IT.
IT ALSO SAID HE WAS 6'3", 220, AND BLOND.
YOU CAN GO HOME NOW.
WE WILL PAY YOU FOR THE TIME THAT YOU PUT IN,
BUT IT WAS A MISTAKE FOR MY WIFE TO HIRE YOU.
IT WAS NOT A MISTAKE.
YOU FALL ASLEEP OUT HERE IN YOUR CAR.
YOU WORK TOO HARD TO BE ABLE TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT.
THIS IS THE MARS GIRL.
HER FATHER IS THE ACTING SHERIFF.
HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT NASIR?
BESIDES, THIS IS NO JOB FOR A GIRL.
WHAT CHOICE DID I HAVE?
I KNEW YOU WOULD REACT THIS WAY.
SURPRISE.
[ TIRES SCREECH ]
[ OPERATIC MUSIC PLAYS ]
♪ A LONG TIME AGO, WE USED TO BE FRIENDS ♪
♪ BUT I HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF YOU LATELY AT ALL ♪
♪ COME ON, NOW, SUGAR ♪
♪ BRING IT ON, BRING IT ON, YEAH ♪
♪ JUST REMEMBER ME WHEN ♪
♪ WE USED TO BE FRIENDS A LONG TIME AGO ♪
♪ WE USED TO BE FRIENDS ♪
-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com
CASHMERE.
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!
NOT A GREAT TIME TO BE ARAB IN AMERICA.
20 YEARS WE'VE BEEN IN THIS COUNTRY!
HUH! 20 YEARS WE'VE BEEN AMERICANS!
I'M A YANKEE DOODLE DAMN DANDY!
AND NOW THIS?!
THE LICENSE PLATE WAS REMOVED,
BUT I CAUGHT A GLIMPSE OF A BUMPER STICKER.
IT SHOULD BE ENOUGH TO GO ON.
Amira: REALLY?
UNLESS IT WAS A "HELLO, MY NAME IS..." STICKER,
HOW'S THAT GONNA DO ANY GOOD?
THE PERSON WHO OWNS THAT PICKUP HAS A CHILD
WHO'S AN HONOR STUDENT AT NEPTUNE MIDDLE.
DO YOU WANT ME TO TRACK HIM DOWN OR NOT?
LOOK AT THESE ADS.
"TWOFER TUESDAY," "IT'S RAINING GIN,"
"DOLLAR-SHOT NIGHT."
LET ME CHANGE FIRST. MAN, YOU PARTY HARD.
IT'S A COLLEGE PAPER.
ONLY A QUARTER OF THE STUDENTS AT HEARST ARE 21.
I'M NOT SURE WHERE THIS RANT IS GOING.
A 19-YEAR-OLD KID WAS DRINKING AT A BAR CALLED THE BREAK
WITH A GUM-BALL LEVEL I.D.
HE STUMBLED OUT, AND A CAR HIT HIM.
IT LOOKS LIKE HE'LL NEVER WALK AGAIN.
"BUCKET O' BEER BONANZA"?
YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
IF THEY'RE KNOWN FOR ALLOWING UNDERAGE DRINKING?
"FAMOUS FOR" IS MORE LIKE IT.
IT'S NICKNAMED "THE CAKE" FOR HOW EASY IT IS TO GET IN,
BUT MOST OF THE CAMPUS-AREA BARS ARE PRETTY LAX.
FROM WHAT I'VE HEARD.
'CAUSE THE ONLY BUCKETS I ORDER
COME IN ORIGINAL AND EXTRA CRISPY.
I HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY THAT THE BREAK
AND OTHER CAMPUS-AREA BARS ON THE LIST YOU'RE RECEIVING
ARE KNOWINGLY SERVING UNDERAGE STUDENTS.
I WANT SURPRISE CHECKS IN EVERY ONE OF THESE BARS TONIGHT.
LOOKS LIKE MY CREDIT-CARD STATEMENT.
WHAT'S THE PRIORITY LEVEL, SHERIFF?
WELL, OBVIOUSLY IF YOU GET A CALL, TAKE IT,
BUT OTHERWISE I WANT THESE BARS SCARED STRAIGHT.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
GENTLEMEN, JIM WILSON WAS 19.
I WANT THIS TAKEN SERIOUSLY.
YOU USED TO WORK FOR HIM. IS HE ALWAYS LIKE THIS?
I WOULDN'T TEST HIM.
WE HAVE A GUEST IN HONORS HOMEROOM TODAY.
MISS MARS IS DOING A SURVEY ABOUT GUN AWARENESS
FOR HER COLLEGE CRIMINOLOGY COURSE.
I TRUST YOU WILL GIVE HER YOUR FULL ATTENTION,
AS HONOR POINTS ARE IN EFFECT.
WHAT DOES A CRIMINOLOGIST DO?
OH, GRADS USUALLY GO INTO WORK IN LAW ENFORCEMENT.
I'M CONSIDERING PURSUING A CAREER AT THE FBI.
YOU'RE A GIRL.
RONALD.
ACTUALLY, RONALD, DID YOU KNOW THAT, ON AVERAGE,
GIRLS DEVELOP FASTER THAN BOYS
AND HAVE HIGHER LEVELS OF COGNITIVE FUNCTIONING,
INCLUDING MATH CALCULATION, WRITTEN LANGUAGE,
AND VERBAL FLUENCY?
SO?
WELL PUT, RONALD. WE NEED FIREMEN, TOO.
WE ALL KNOW GUNS ARE DANGEROUS,
BUT I ALSO STUDY THE DANGERS AND IMPLICATIONS
OF THE IMPACT OF TOY GUNS, LIKE PELLET GUNS,
BB GUNS, OR PAINTBALL GUNS.
RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU HAVE A FAMILY MEMBER
WHO OWNS A PELLET OR BB GUN.
NOW, HOW ABOUT PAINTBALL GUNS?
OKAY, NOW, WHOSE FAMILY HAS A BIG YELLOW PICKUP TRUCK?
MISS MARS? I'M SORRY.
I'M NOT SURE I UNDERSTAND WHERE THIS IS GOING.
YEAH. ME EITHER.
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
[ GUNFIRE, EXPLOSIONS ]
YO, ***, WHAT UP?
IT STINGS.
I KNOW, BECAUSE YOU SHOT ME LAST NIGHT.
OH, YEAH!
AFRAID I'VE GOT SOME BAD NEWS FOR YOU BOYS.
I'M CLOSE WITH THE LOCAL SHERIFF,
AND HE SIMPLY HATES HATE CRIMES, SELF-HATE IN YOUR CASE.
DUDE, SHE SHOT YOU.
KEEP UP, TOWELIE.
"SELF-HATE"? WHAT?
SPRAY-PAINTING THE FRONT OF BABYLON GARDENS --
RINGING ANY BELLS?
WHAT?
SAY "WHAT" AGAIN. I DARE YOU. I DOUBLE DARE YOU.
WHAT?
AAH!
GOD, SOMEONE WROTE "TERRORIST" AT BABYLON GARDENS?
CHECK OUT THE BIG BRAIN ON BRETT.
I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT. IT WAS YOU.
WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
I CAN PROVE IT.
LOOK -- WHITE PEOPLE.
AAH!
SEE? ANYONE'S A TARGET.
SO I'M STRAIGHT,
YOUR DEFENSE IS THAT YOU SHOOT EVERYONE, NOT JUST ARABS.
IS THAT MR. CLEMMONS?
YEAH. NAILING CLEMMY WAS SWEET.
DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE WHO WOULD SPRAY-PAINT "TERRORIST"
ON A MIDDLE EASTERN RESTAURANT?
FINE. GIVE ME THE DVD.
ANY MORE DRIVE-BYS, AND THAT FINDS ITS WAY TO THE SHERIFF.
NOW, EVERYONE GRAB THEIR VISINE.
YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT.
HEY, YOU, I STILL SEE SOME GREEN BY THE DOORJAMB.
ARE YOU SURE THESE AREN'T THE SAME VANDALS
WHO DID THE SPRAY-PAINTING?
PRETTY SURE.
ARE YOU SURE WE SHOULD HANG ONE ON THE DOOR AGAIN?
I MEAN, ARE WE ASKING FOR TROUBLE?
I WON'T BE INTIMIDATED, SABIRAH.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THEY STOLE THE LAST ONE WE PUT UP.
DON'T ASK HER. THIS ISN'T ABOUT HER.
IF IT WAS ME, I'D PUT ONE UP TWICE AS BIG.
YOU SEE? TWO TO ONE. DEMOCRACY IN ACTION.
HEY, I GOT TO RUN SOME ERRANDS FOR THE PARTY.
THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP, BY THE WAY.
CHECK IT OUT.
TWO HOT CHICKS I MET ON MySpace --
BOTH IN PLAY, BOTH EAGER TO MEET THE DICKSTER FACE-TO-FACE.
QUESTION -- AND I NEED YOU TO DIG DEEP HERE.
WHICH ONE DO I INVITE?
UM...
LAZY EYE MIGHT WORK TO YOUR ADVANTAGE.
HA! TRICK QUESTION.
JUST GOES TO SHOW HOW WHIPPED YOU ARE.
THE CORRECT ANSWER IS "BOTH."
AND IF THEY BOTH SHOW?
THEN I DO A QUICK HEAT CHECK.
WHICHEVER'S ENGINE'S RUNNING HOTTER GETS ***.
YOU MEAN "WHOMEVER'S."
WHATEVER.
Gills: WHAT CAN I SAY? WE HIT THEM ALL.
FULL SWEEPS -- THEY WERE CLEAN.
DEPUTY GILLS, YOU DON'T FIND IT STRANGE --
COLLEGE TOWN, SURPRISE INSPECTIONS,
AND NOT ONE OF MY DEPUTIES ISSUES A SINGLE CITATION?
NOT REALLY.
THOSE BARS DO A GOOD JOB OF KEEPING THE MINORS OUT.
I HATE TO SAY IT,
BUT THE KID WHO GOT HIT -- HE'S THE EXCEPTION.
WHAT ARE THE ODDS?
Veronica: SO LET'S SEE HOW BABYLON GARDENS
SURVIVED THE NIGHT WITHOUT ME.
ALL SEEMS WELL.
WHO IS THIS GUY, AND WHAT'S HE DOING SKULKING AROUND?
"SNEED BATMEN"?
DOES "SNEED BATMEN" RING ANY BELLS?
FOR SOME REASON IT SOUNDS FAMILIAR.
HELLO? MAC? SNEED?
SORRY. BRONSON AND I WENT ON A HIKE THIS MORNING.
I'M WIPED.
A HIKE? YOU?
YES.
MORNING? YOU?
I WANTED TO SEE WHAT IT WAS LIKE.
AND?
IT'S SUNNY.
SOUNDS LIKE THINGS ARE GOOD WITH BRONSON.
ANY BETTER AND HE'D HAVE YOU JUMP THROUGH FIERY HOOPS.
YOU READY? WE CAN OFFER THEM OUR TABLE.
SURE.
HEY, GUYS. THANKS FOR THE TABLE.
IT JUST TAKES ME BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL. REMEMBER, LOGAN?
WE'D SIT AT THE SAME LUNCH TABLE AND MAKE FUN OF THE FAT KIDS.
WE WENT TO THE SAME HIGH SCHOOL?
UH, YEAH.
WE RAN OVER THAT FISHERMAN
AND PROMISED TO TAKE THE SECRET TO OUR GRAVES.
I REMEMBER THE FISHERMAN.
YOU BET YOUR FRIENDS
YOU COULD TURN ME INTO A SUPERHOT PROM DATE AS A JOKE,
BUT YOU ENDED UP FALLING IN LOVE WITH ME?
NOPE, LOST IT.
PLEASE STOP.
OH. GOT TO SPLIT. SORRY. LATE.
HEY, MY BIRTHDAY PARTY -- YOU CAN COME, RIGHT?
YOU KNOW ME.
IF THERE'S A BIRTHDAY PARTY, I'M WEARING A POINTY HAT.
[ CHUCKLES ]
YOU AND LOGAN SEEM CHUMMY.
I NEVER THOUGHT MUCH OF THE GUY WHEN YOU TWO WERE DATING.
THE SURLY THING, YOU KNOW?
BUT SINCE HE'S BEEN AROUND SO MUCH LATELY,
I'VE SEEN HIS SWEET SIDE.
PROBABLY THE SIDE YOU SAW ALL THE TIME.
OH, YEAH, THAT SIDE.
SO, ABOUT PARKER'S PARTY -- IF I MUST GO...
YOU MUST. YOU MUST.
...WHAT DO YOU SAY I SWING BY YOUR PLACE EARLY
AND YOU HIT ME ON THE HEAD WITH A HAMMER A COUPLE TIMES
BEFORE WE GO?
NOT THAT I WOULDN'T LOVE TO CROSS THAT OFF MY TO-DO LIST,
BUT I PROMISED PARKER AND LOGAN THAT I'D HELP THEM SET UP.
WANT TO COME?
RAIN CHECK.
I'LL FIND REINFORCEMENTS ELSEWHERE.
IT'S LIKE THE NEW "ROCKY HORROR."
AT ONE POINT, PEOPLE THROW PLASTIC SPOONS AT THE SCREEN.
YOU HAVE TO CHECK IT OUT. IT'LL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
UH-OH.
RELAX. I'M HERE TO INVITE YOU TO A PARTY.
SATURDAY NIGHT? ROCKIN'-GOOD TIME?
THE CATCH?
THERE'S NO CATCH.
I JUST NEED A COUPLE WINGMEN.
IT'S PARKER'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.
THERE'S STRENGTH IN NUMBERS.
YOU SOLDIERS UP FOR MISSION: MORALE SUPPORT?
OKAY. COOL. I'M IN. BUT I THINK PIZ HAS TO GO --
NO, PIZ IS IN. IT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
MAYBE BEFORE, YOU COULD COME BY THE ROOM AND --
COOL. OKAY. UH, SORRY. GOT TO BOOGIE.
THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO YO-YO TACO ON SATURDAY.
YO LA TENGO. YEAH.
BUT, YOU KNOW, THIS SOUNDS MORE FUN.
WHAT?
YOU'RE LIKE ONE OF THOSE GUYS
WHO STANDS BEHIND THE PLAYERS AT THE POKER TABLE
AND PRETENDS HE'S PLAYING.
SORRY, I'VE NEVER BEEN TO VEGAS. WHAT EXACTLY --
EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, YOU GOT TO GO ALL-IN.
RIGHT. WILL DO.
EXCELLENT.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
IT MEANS WE'RE GOING OUT TONIGHT.
YOU'RE GONNA TALK TO SOME GIRL WHO KNOWS YOU'RE ALIVE.
WAIT, ACTUALLY, THAT'S NOT WHAT IT MEANS, BUT IT'S A START.
SORRY TO BOTHER YOU. "SNEED BATMEN" -- WHAT IS THAT?
SNEED HALL. IT'S THE CHEMISTRY BUILDING.
THE BATMEN ARE THE INTRAMURAL SOFTBALL TEAM.
OH.
UM, THIS IS EMBARRASSING,
BUT I SORT OF FLIRTED WITH NUMBER 11
THE OTHER DAY IN THE LIBRARY.
YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO KNOW HIS NAME?
SURE. JASON COHEN.
I FOUND OUT JASON COHEN LIVES AT THE ZETA EPSILON HOUSE --
A JEWISH FRATERNITY.
CURIOUS.
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
WHAT THE HELL?
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
OKAY. PEEPING TOM IN A TREE TAKES OFF ON A BIKE.
I FEEL LIKE I STUMBLED INTO A "BENNY HILL" SKETCH.
UM, AMIRA, YOU MIND TELLING ME WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
BETTER QUESTION -- WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE?
I'M HERE BECAUSE I HAVE SURVEILLANCE FOOTAGE
OF JASON SKULKING AROUND YOUR PARENTS' RESTAURANT
LAST NIGHT AFTER CLOSING.
HE WASN'T SKULKING. JASON'S MY BOYFRIEND.
OH, I'M GONNA KILL NASIR.
WHO?
NASIR. HE WORKS AT THE RESTAURANT.
HIS STUDENT VISA EXPIRED,
AND MY PARENTS AGREED TO GIVE HIM A JOB.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO MARRY THE GUY.
REALLY?
DON'T ASK.
THOSE PICTURES WILL LITERALLY KILL MY DAD.
ARE THEY ***?
IT'S NOT THE NUDITY. IT'S MY COSTAR -- THE JEW.
HOWEVER LONG IT TAKES TO GET THOSE PHOTOS DEVELOPED
AND PEDAL OVER TO MY DAD'S HOUSE --
THAT'S HOW LONG IT'LL BE UNTIL I'M DISOWNED.
THERE'S ONLY TWO ONE-HOUR PHOTO PLACES OPEN THIS LATE,
AND NASIR'S ON A BIKE.
I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
[ CLEARS THROAT ] HI.
UM, MY BOYFRIEND...
...IS A TAD EMBARRASSED
TO PICK UP THE PHOTOS WE JUST DROPPED OFF.
THERE ARE A FEW...
"SPECIAL MOMENTS WITH SPECIAL FRIENDS"-TYPE SHOTS.
MEN -- IT'S ALL RAH-RAH-RAH
UNTIL YOU FIND YOURSELF IN AN ALL-NIGHT PHOTOMAT.
UM, HOW MUCH DO WE OWE YOU?
THAT'S YOUR BOYFRIEND?
YEAH. IT'S LIKE I'M DATING A YOUNG OMAR SHARIF.
DESERT FEVER -- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
UM, ARE THEY READY?
I'M ON THE LAST ONE.
I'VE HAD SOME PROBLEMS WITH THE MACHINE JAMMING.
OKAY.
SORRY, DO YOU HAVE THE TIME?
11:15.
THANK YOU.
WOW.
ARAB MEN -- SO MACHO.
[ CHUCKLES ]
NASIR.
SEE YOU BACK AT THE APARTMENT. DON'T BE LATE.
MY PHOTOS -- ARE THEY DONE?
YOUR GIRLFRIEND JUST PICKED THEM UP.
GIRLFRIEND? I DON'T KNOW THAT WOMAN.
YOU GAVE HER MY PICTURES?!
SIR, COUNT TO 10, PLEASE. I AM NOT THE ENEMY.
I STILL HAVE A FEW OF THE PRINTS
THAT WERE ONLY HALF-DEVELOPED WHEN THE MACHINE JAMMED.
IT'S WORTH LOSING 20 BUCKS JUST TO GET TO TALK TO HER.
WE CAME HERE FOR ME, REMEMBER?
YEAH, THAT WAS BEFORE I SAW HER.
NO, YOU DON'T. JUDAS.
I GOT 20 BUCKS SAYS YOU CAN WHIP MY ***
AND MAKE ME LIKE IT.
WELL, I DO LIKE A CONFIDENT MAN.
LOOK WHAT I FOUND.
[ GASPS ] THANK YOU, VERONICA!
OH.
I MUST SAY...
YOUR SPURNED SUITOR --
HE MAY BE CRAZY, BUT, OH, MY.
IF I DIDN'T MIND BEING TREATED AS PROPERTY,
HE MIGHT BE TEMPTING.
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
EXPLAIN THIS.
NOW!
NASIR SAYS THAT THIS BOY LIVES IN A JEWISH FRATERNITY.
IS HE A JEW?
BEING WITH THIS BOY IS WHAT HAS CAUSED ALL OF THIS --
THE THREATS, THE VANDALISM.
THE COMMUNITY HAS OBVIOUSLY FOUND OUT AND TURNED AGAINST US.
WHEN YOU SAY "COMMUNITY," DO YOU MEAN JEWISH OR ARAB?
EITHER. BOTH. I DON'T KNOW.
THE RESTAURANT IS NO LONGER YOUR CONCERN.
YOU'RE FIRED! LEAVE.
I WORK FOR YOUR WIFE.
IF SHE WANTS ME FIRED, SHE CAN GIVE ME A CALL.
Keith: MR. MURPHY, ONE OF MY DEPUTIES
TOLD ME YOU WANTED A PRIVATE AUDIENCE.
I WAS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
YOU KNOW WHY PEOPLE ENJOY GOING TO BARS, SHERIFF?
THEY CAN DRINK AT HOME.
PEOPLE WANT TO RELAX, LET THEIR HAIR DOWN.
THAT'S NOT EASY TO DO WHEN, EVERY 10 MINUTES,
UNIFORMED DEPUTIES ARE SHOWING UP AND HARASSING THEM.
THE FUNNY THING IS, I ALWAYS BACKED THE BADGE.
IN FACT, I USUALLY BUY AN ESPECIALLY LARGE AMOUNT
OF SHERIFF DEPARTMENT RAFFLE TICKETS EVERY YEAR.
SHERIFF LAMB, GOD REST HIS SOUL,
REALLY APPRECIATED HIS RELATIONSHIP
WITH LOCAL BUSINESSES.
SO HOW MANY RAFFLE TICKETS DO YOU THINK
THE BREAK SHOULD BUY THIS YEAR, SHERIFF?
YOU KNOW, JUST TO MAKE SURE THAT WE KEEP WORKING TOGETHER.
10 BUCKS A POP -- MAYBE 500 TICKETS.
WE WON'T BE HAVING A RAFFLE THIS YEAR, MR. MURPHY.
THE HOSPITAL IS HAVING A PANCAKE BREAKFAST.
PERHAPS YOU COULD BETTER SERVE THE COMMUNITY BY GIVING TO THEM.
YOU SURE YOU'RE THINKING THIS
ALL THE WAY THROUGH, SHERIFF?
YOUR BOYS REALLY ENJOY THOSE NEW UNIFORMS EVERY YEAR,
TOURNAMENT FEES TAKEN CARE OF,
POSTGAME PITCHERS OF BEER ON THE HOUSE.
IT'S LIKE I'M ONE OF THE TEAM.
Keith: WALLACE.
MR. MARS.
LAST TIME I SAW YOU, YOU WERE 19,
AND THAT WAS JUST A COUPLE WEEKS AGO.
Murphy: I I.D.'d THESE BOYS MYSELF.
YOU CAN CHECK IT.
IF THEY'RE NOT LEGIT, I'LL SHUT THIS PLACE DOWN RIGHT NOW.
WALLACE, STOSH...
MIND IF I SEE THOSE I.D.s OF YOURS?
I GUESS I DON'T HAVE TO ASK WHERE YOU GOT THESE.
YOU RECOGNIZE THE WORK?
[ SIGHS ]
OUT OF 37 CITATIONS YOURS TRULY WROTE
IN SIX CAMPUS-AREA BARS LAST NIGHT,
NO FAKE I.D. COULD HOLD A CANDLE TO YOUR STANDARDS.
YOU MAY NOT WANT TO BELIEVE THIS, HONEY,
BUT THERE ARE MISTAKES YOU CAN'T TAKE BACK.
WHAT IF THEY HAD GOTTEN DRUNK
AND STUMBLED INTO THE STREET, LIKE JIM WILSON?
WOULD YOU WANT TO EXPLAIN THAT TO THEIR PARENTS?
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
HELLO?
IT'S HAPPENED AGAIN.
I'LL CHECK THE CAMERA. I'LL BE RIGHT OVER.
I'VE NEVER SEEN THIS MAN.
NO PROBLEM. I CAN TRACK HIM.
I JUST WANTED TO SEE IF YOU KNEW WHO HE WAS FIRST.
FORTUNATELY, THE VANDAL TOOK THE BAIT --
ONE ARABIC SCROLL WITH A TRACER STITCHED INSIDE.
[ BEEPING ]
[ BEEPING QUICKENS ]
[ VAN APPROACHES ]
CAN I HELP YOU FIND SOMETHING?
LOOK WHAT I'VE GOT.
IT'S A SURVEILLANCE PHOTO FROM BABYLON GARDENS.
IT SHOWS YOU PAINTING "TERRORIST" ON THEIR BUILDING.
WELL, YOU AIN'T A COP.
SO MY RESPONSE IS GONNA HAVE TO BE, "SO THE HELL WHAT?"
WHY DID YOU DO IT?
IF YOU HAVE TO ASK, YOU AIN'T BEEN PAYING ATTENTION.
THAT'S IT?
YOU'RE JUST ANOTHER CLOSE-MINDED REDNECK
WHO THINKS IT'S HIS PATRIOTIC DUTY
TO HARASS INNOCENT PEOPLE?
NOT QUITE.
I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE NOW.
IN ABOUT FIVE MINUTES, I'LL KNOW YOUR NAME.
THE FAMILY YOU'RE HARASSING IS GONNA PRESS CHARGES.
DERRICK, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE NOW?
THIS GIRL HERE WANTS TO KNOW
WHY I SPRAY-PAINTED "TERRORIST" ON THAT RESTAURANT.
YOU REALLY THINK BABYLON GARDENS IS A TERRORIST FRONT?
AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DO.
SORRY ABOUT MY LITTLE BROTHER.
HE'S BEEN PRETTY WORKED UP SINCE I CAME HOME LIKE THIS.
ONE OF THE DUDES WHO WORKS THERE
WAS PASSING THESE OUT BY THE MALL.
IRAQIS LAUGHING AT DEAD AMERICANS?
IF THAT AIN'T TERRORIST PROPAGANDA,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.
GENERALLY, THE SATISFACTION OF NAILING SOMEONE
FOR A CRIME LIKE THIS IS ITS OWN REWARD.
SO WHERE'S THE SUGAR RUSH OF SWEET JUSTICE
I SHOULD BE FEELING RIGHT NOW?
HI.
HEY.
SO, HIS NAME IS DERRICK KARR.
HE ADMITTED TO VANDALIZING YOUR RESTAURANT
AFTER HE WAS HANDED THIS...
...BY NASIR.
HE WAS DISTRIBUTING THEM OUTSIDE THE MALL.
DERRICK FOLLOWED HIM BACK HERE.
DERRICK'S BROTHER WAS SHOT UP IN IRAQ.
HIS BROTHER WAS A SOLDIER?
YEAH, BUT HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT DERRICK HAD DONE.
I DID SOME CHECKING.
DERRICK'S ON PROBATION FOR STEALING CARS.
IF YOU PRESS CHARGES,
IT'LL MOST LIKELY MEAN SOME JAIL TIME FOR HIM.
I WANT TO MEET THIS MAN.
UH, MISTER -- SHERIFF MARS.
HELLO, STOSH.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE HEAD OUT, HAVE A FEW BEERS?
THAT'S ONE OF THOSE TRICK QUESTIONS, ISN'T IT?
I'VE GOT SOME NEW I.D.s FOR YOU.
WALLACE.
THIS PICTURE IS JON BON JOVI.
YES, IT IS.
Wallace: BIGGIE SMALLS?
WE DON'T REALLY ALL LOOK ALIKE, MR. MARS.
I KNOW THAT, WALLACE.
NOW, LET'S GO OUT AND GET OUR DRINK ON.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
NONALCOHOLIC BEER --
ALL OF THE PEEING, NONE OF THE FUN.
QUIT COMPLAINING.
ONE NIGHT OF THIS, WE'RE OFF THE HOOK.
PLUS, IF THINGS WORK OUT WITH MIRANDA,
THIS COULD BE ONE OF THOSE COOL
"FIRST TIME WE MET" STORIES.
WHAT ABOUT IT IS COOL?
AND BY THE WAY,
YOU INVITED HER TO JOIN US TO LOGAN'S PARTY.
YOUR LACK OF *** JUICE IS GONNA COST YOU, SON.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S HAVE ALL YOU FINEST MINDS OF SoCal
PUT YOUR I.D.s IN THE AIR
AND WAVE THEM AROUND LIKE YOU JUST DON'T CARE.
THANK YOU, AND GOOD NIGHT.
THIS WASTE OF TIME HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU
BY YOUR TEMPORARY SHERIFF OF BALBOA COUNTY.
YOU GET THAT, MR. MARS?
GOT IT.
LAST NIGHT, I ORDERED ANOTHER SWEEP OF THE BARS.
SMITH, JONES, TAYLOR, GILLS...
CLEAN OUT YOUR LOCKERS -- YOU'RE FIRED.
YOU'RE FIRING US?
YOU'RE THE SUBSTITUTE TEACHER. WE WERE HIRED BY DON LAMB.
I KNOW THESE GUYS BETTER THAN YOU DO, KEITH.
YOU TRY TO PULL THIS STUNT, WE ALL WALK.
FAIR ENOUGH.
THERE'S THE DOOR.
YOU DON'T HAVE THE STONES --
LEAVE YOUR BADGE ON THE DESK
AND GET THE HELL OUT OF MY STATION!
[ INDISTINCT TALKING ON POLICE RADIO ]
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
YOU.
I'VE GOT SOME PEOPLE WHO WANT TO MEET YOU.
RASHAD, SABIRAH KRIMANI, THIS IS DERRICK KARR.
THEY OWN BABYLON GARDENS.
I WANTED TO MEET YOU, TALK TO YOU.
LUCKY ME.
IF THEY REPORT YOU, IT'S OFF TO JAIL.
SO I END UP IN JAIL.
MY BROTHER ENDS UP IN A WHEELCHAIR,
AND THESE FOREIGNERS ARE FREE TO SPIT ON AMERICA
AND EVERYTHING IT STANDS FOR?
WHAT IT STANDS FOR?
DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT IT STANDS FOR?
SAYING YOU LOVE AMERICA IS EASY.
IT'S EASY UNTIL SOMEONE SPRAY-PAINTS "TERRORIST"
ON YOUR DOOR.
IT'S EASY UNTIL YOU ARE HANDED A FLYER
THAT MOCKS THE SACRIFICE OF YOUR BROTHER.
WE ALL CAME FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE.
WE ALL ARE TRYING TO MAKE IT.
IN AMERICA, WHATEVER YOU STAND FOR,
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GET A FAIR SHOT.
THAT IS WHAT YOUR BROTHER WAS FIGHTING FOR,
IN CASE YOU WANTED TO KNOW.
SO TURN ME IN, ALI BABA. IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE TO ME.
[ DOOR SLAMS ]
[ SIGHS ]
[ DOG BARKS ]
HE'LL BE IN JAIL IN AN HOUR.
NO, NO, DON'T -- DON'T TURN HIM IN.
I SUSPECT THAT OUR TROUBLES WITH MR. KARR ARE OVER.
I'M GLAD THAT I HAD A CHANCE TO SPEAK WITH THE MAN.
YOU'RE SURE?
OKAY.
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
YOUR WORDS WERE SO INSPIRATIONAL.
I WAS WONDERING --
DO THEY APPLY TO YOUR DAUGHTER, AS WELL?
[ SIGHS ]
I GUESS I SHOULD MEET THE BOY.
AND WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT NASIR?
WELL, HE DIDN'T BREAK ANY LAWS HANDING OUT THE FLYER,
AND I SUPPORT HIS RIGHT TO EXERCISE FREE SPEECH.
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN
THAT I HAVE TO SUPPORT HIM OR SHELTER HIM.
THAT CARTOON PISSED ME OFF. IT WAS UN-AMERICAN.
NASIR BEN HAFAYID, YOU'RE IN THIS COUNTRY
ON AN EXPIRED I-20 STUDENT VISA.
IN ACCORDANCE WITH I.N.S. 214,
ANY STATEMENTS YOU MAKE CAN BE USED IN A COURT OF LAW,
IMMIGRATION, OR ADMINISTRATIVE PROCEEDING.
HEY, HONEY. JUST IN TIME. ARE YOU HUNGRY?
NO, BUT THE FOOD'S FREE.
WALLACE CALLED.
HE AND PIZ ARE GONNA MEET YOU AT THE PARTY.
HE SAID YOU'D UNDERSTAND.
THEY'RE DITCHING ME?
I WARNED HIM YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
SCORE ONE FOR DAD.
BY THE WAY, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME
I MADE THE FRONT PAGE OF THE LAMPOON.
THIS HAD TO HAVE BEEN
TOUGH ON YOU THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS,
HAVING YOUR OLD MAN BACK AS SHERIFF.
ACTUALLY, IT'S BEEN TOUGH ON ME KNOWING I LET YOU DOWN.
I'M SORRY ABOUT THOSE I.D.s.
I VOW TO USE THE MARS POWERS FOR GOOD
RATHER THAN EVIL FROM NOW ON.
THERE'S NEVER A STENOGRAPHER AROUND WHEN YOU NEED ONE.
THINGS I'D RATHER DO THAN ATTEND THIS PARTY SOLO --
SEVEN MINUTES IN HEAVEN WITH SCOTT PETERSON...
***: HOLD THE DOOR.
...RIDE THE SPACE ELEVATOR WITH ***.
ALWAYS THE LADY.
YOU CAME. GOOD FOR YOU.
I THOUGHT SOMETHING LIKE THIS WOULD BE,
YOU KNOW, UNBELIEVABLY AWKWARD.
YOUR FLY'S OPEN.
I KNOW. PARTY RITUAL.
VERONICA MARS...
WHAT'S THAT LINE ABOUT THE BEGINNING
OF SOME SORT OF FRIENDSHIP?
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
LATER.
WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?
SORRY, I WAS AFRAID YOU WERE TRYING
TO GET BACK AT LOGAN SOMEHOW BY COMING AS ***'S DATE.
OOH, YEAH, NOTHING SAYS "I'M OVER YOU"
LIKE DATING DOWN.
[ GASPS ] COUCH OPENING.
[ SIGHS ]
OKAY, THIS COUCH IS OUR SOCIAL FOXHOLE
FOR THE NEXT 60 MINUTES OF THE BATTLE.
DEFEND IT AT ALL COSTS.
HEY, VERONICA.
AND FRIEND.
SORRY. RIGHT. MAX, THIS IS MY FRIEND MAC.
MAC, MAX. WHERE ARE MY MANNERS?
SIT, DEFEND,
DECIDE WHICH ONE OF YOU IS CHANGING THEIR NAME.
HEY, BOZOS, WE HAD PLANS.
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY WINGMEN.
WHAT MISSION COULD BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT?
HERE YOU GO, BOYS.
I SEE. BATTLE OF THE BULGE.
VERONICA MARS, MIRANDA AFFELD.
HEY.
HI.
I LOVED THE QUOTE
YOU HAVE UP ON YOUR MySpace PAGE.
WHAT WAS IT AGAIN?
"THE DUDE ABIDES."
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I TAKE COMFORT IN THAT.
[ CHUCKLES ]
WHAT ELSE DO YOU TAKE COMFORT IN?
DRINKS. BE RIGHT BACK.
[ GLASS CLINKING ]
CAN I, UH, GET EVERYONE'S ATTENTION FOR ONE MINUTE?
NOW, I HAD THIS WHOLE "MY SUPER SWEET 19" THING
PLANNED FOR TONIGHT, BUT, WELL, IT TURNS OUT
THE HOTEL HAS A POLICY ON BENGAL TIGER RIDES.
THERE IS ONE LUDICROUS THING I WAS ABLE TO PULL OFF
THAT I HOPE MAKES UP FOR IT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
YOU REMEMBERED!
[ LAUGHS ]
YOU'RE KIDDING.
MY DAD DOES HALF THE TEAM'S TAXES.
WE SHOULD GO TO A GAME SOMETIME.
YOU CAN SPEND HALFTIME IN MY PRIVATE BOX.
AWESOME!
WOULD YOU GIVE ME A FEW MINUTES?
I HAVE SOME PARTY RESPONSIBILITIES TO ATTEND TO.
HEY, THERE.
ISN'T HE YUMMY?
I KNOW.
YOU JUST WANT TO... EAT HIM UP.
[ CHUCKLES ]
[ SIGHS ]
THANK YOU.
ME? YOU'RE THE ONE DISHING OUT CAKE.
I WAS WORRIED THAT THINGS WERE GONNA BE WEIRD,
AND YOU'RE JUST A CLASS ACT.
I'M HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS.
IN FACT, I'VE NEVER SEEN HIM...
ON A CAKE LIKE THIS.
FEEL FREE TO JUST HACK IN ANYWHERE.
OKAY.
HERE YOU GO.
[ MAX LAUGHS ]
THAT'S BRILLIANT -- AN ONLINE PURITY TEST.
SO, BASICALLY, YOU GOT PEOPLE TO DETAIL THEIR SEX LIVES.
AND BE SCORED ACCORDINGLY.
THEN I SOLD THEIR *** SECRETS TO THEIR PEERS
FOR 10 BUCKS A POP.
I LIKE HOW YOU THINK.
VERONICA BUSTED ME BUT KEPT QUIET.
WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS EVER SINCE.
CHECKING OUT THE TALENT?
HOW IS IT YOU HAVE SO MANY FRIENDS?
YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE PEOPLE.
AND YET, THEY ADORE ME.
I GUARDED MYSELF FOR SEEING YOU WITH A DATE TONIGHT,
PROOF YOU WEREN'T PINING AWAY.
ALL THE PERIODICALLY GOOD ONES WERE TAKEN,
AND I PINE FOR NO MAN.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY BRANCHING OUT.
WHO KNOWS?
MAYBE THERE'S A CONSISTENTLY GOOD ONE HERE TONIGHT.
SO, YOU SELL TESTS?
SORRY. "STUDY GUIDES."
YEAH, IT'S NOT EASY.
UNDERGRAD COURSES CHANGE QUARTER TO QUARTER.
VISITING PROFESSORS SWITCH UP CURRICULUMS.
THERE ARE T.A.s TO BRIBE.
IT'S EXHAUSTING.
TELL ME YOU'RE A BUSINESS MAJOR.
PHILOSOPHY.
NO LIE.
I THINK, THEREFORE I AM.
[ LAUGHS ]
OKAY...
SERIOUSLY, DID MY FRIENDS HIRE YOU?
HEY, THE HOST SAYS YOU'RE A BIG-TIME SWING DANCER.
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
DUDE, YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.
HOTTIE INTERNET CHICKS FOUND OUT ABOUT EACH OTHER,
TALKED IT OVER, AND THEY'RE INTO IT.
INTO IT?
DOUBLEMINT, BABY.
THEY'RE BECOMING TWINS?
WHAT? DUDE, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
THEY SENT ME ON A PLAYTHING SCAVENGER HUNT.
DO WE HAVE ANY PEANUT OIL?
HERE, IN THE ROOM?
I DIDN'T THINK SO.
WHAT ABOUT AN ICE BUCKET?
HEY, WHAT'S UP? W-WHAT'S GOING ON?
LISA IS A FRIEND OF MINE.
WHO'S LISA?
I'M LISA, DIPWAD.
WHEN YOU'RE PERVING MY ONLINE PROFILE,
YOU SHOULD LOOK AT THE FRIENDS LIST, TOO,
NOT JUST THE PICTURES.
JUST THOUGHT WE'D COME BY AND SAY HI.
GREAT PARTY.
NO. DON'T GO.
NO WAY. I'VE HEARD YOUR SHOW.
MAYBE, UM, YOU COULD DEDICATE SOMETHING TO ME?
YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
I MEAN, EVEN THOUGH IT'S A TALK SHOW.
I'LL DEDICATE A SEGMENT
ON CAMPUS NEIGHBORHOOD ZONING TO YOU.
THERE YOU ARE!
THIS IS A "BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF EMERGENCY" SITUATION.
I NEED YOU TO PRETEND TO BE MY BOYFRIEND.
OH, SORRY.
YOU'RE RIGHT, BABE. BAD BOYFRIEND.
FRESH DRINK COMING UP, OKAY?
[ SIGHS ]
COULD YOU GIVE US A SECOND?
SURE.
YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO ME RIGHT NOW, OKAY?
WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS CRUEL.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
WHEN I TOLD HIM MY NAME,
HE DID THAT WHOLE "BANANA FANNA FO FANNA" THING.
NOT HIM. PIZ.
IF YOU DON'T KNOW HE HAS A THING FOR YOU...
PIZ DOESN'T HAVE --
YOU'RE SMARTER THAN THAT.
BE A GOOD PERSON. JUST PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY.
THERE'S MY SUGAR.
WHAT?
NOTHING. GOT TO GET BACK TO MIRANDA.
DO YOU WANT TO GET SOME AIR?
I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.
YOU DO?
I DO.
YOU'VE BEEN SO SWEET TO ME,
AND I REALLY LIKE HANGING OUT WITH YOU.
YOU'RE GREAT. I'VE JUST --
I'VE BEEN SO FOCUSED ON MY OWN ROMANTIC DRAMA,
I'VE KIND OF BEEN BLIND TO EVERYTHING ELSE.
BASICALLY, WHAT I'M SAYING IS
THAT I THINK YOUR HEAD MAY HAVE BEEN IN ONE PLACE,
AND MINE'S BEEN IN ANOTH--
♪ LOOK AROUND, YOU SEE ♪
♪ THERE'S NOTHING TO SAY BUT THE THINGS I KNOW ♪
♪ I GOT NOTHING TO SAY BUT THE THINGS I KNOW ♪
JUST FRIENDS.
I GET IT.
HEY, I'M TAKING OFF.
HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? WHAT HAPPENED?
I WENT ALL-IN.
♪ LYING ON YOUR BED, I THINK YOU'RE PRETTY, TOO ♪
♪ YOUNG GIRL, CURL YOUR HAIR ♪
YOU SEEN PIZ?
HE JUST TOOK OFF.
YOU'RE LEAVING?
YEAH, WELL, I'M A FAN OF THE DRAMATIC EXIT.
TRUTHFULLY, I DON'T KNOW HOW THE NIGHT
COULD GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT.
YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?
♪ IT WON'T HAPPEN AT ALL ♪
♪ SHIFTY EYES PAY ATTENTION ♪
♪ DIRTY TALK, TALK, TALK LOUDER ♪
♪ JUST AS LONG AS YOU'RE GONE ♪
♪ I WON'T LEAVE YOU ALONE ♪