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HE�S BACK. I walked into the studio today, expecting to have to figure out some kind
of replacement small, cute animal to foist upon you. And then I spent two hours playing
a game about a Dog food mascot. No kidding. But in the afternoon, I learned that a couple
new packages arrived at the underwater space arcade. And these boxes came from Felicity
in Worcestershire. And these boxes contained HAMSTERS. Ladies and gentlemen, HAMSTER THURSDAY
LIVES ON.
And not only that, it�s another Hamster Paradise title! This series has long been
the pinnacle of the fake-hamster-raising experience, complete with a dude with a Hamster on his
head, his lovely assistant about whom we won�t ask too many questions (as therein lies madness),
and a talking hamster about whom I have even more questions. They�re here to guide you
on yet another adventure in hamster husbandry, complete with a cage built for two, a massive
(if initially empty) town in which to meander, and... a dog. Yes, in addition to your hamsters,
you get a dog, so as to foster interspecies camaraderie. Or, as it�ll usually play out,
put your hamsters on your dog, because while hamsters are awesome, HAMSTERS ON A DOG ARE
AWESOMER. It�s a fairly simple equation, truth be told. Fail to keep your charges happy,
healthy, and entertained... and, well, they�re going to take a chunk out of your finger.
To fund your hamster-development goals, you�ve got a number of minigames, such as a sliding-puzzle
challenge, an apple-catching game where you�re harried by worms and a Red Robin (who still
needs to bring back that chili cheeseburger before I�ll give him the time of day again,
nudge nudge), and - for reasons I can�t begin to grasp but I�m totally on board
with, a vertical-scrolling SHMUP. It�s like Xevious, but cuter! Succeed in these challenges,
and you�ll obtain currency with which to obtain toys, tickets to a hamster-themed Titanic
knock-off, and the all-important hamster commodity, FOOD. Apparently, hamsters have learned to
use tools fairly adeptly, busting out a hammer to deal with walnuts, or... a blender. Hamster
just whipped out a freaking BLENDER. Y�know what, I don�t even. Overanalysis of just
why that hamster came equipped with his own wet-bar for making strawberry smoothies would
just ruin this new lease on life we�ve been given for HAMSTER THURSDAY. So let�s toast
to Felicity, and to some new friends who are chipping in and who you�ll come to know
in the coming weeks. Now, where�s my Wonderswan...