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The one thing that every single human being desires is love and acceptance. We
all want to feel like we're special. Like we're needed. Especially teenagers who are
trying to find their belonging and their identity in this world.
You want to feel like you're valuable. And like you're worth something.
However, teenagers tend to live in an environment where everything is about
image. What kind of clothes you wear, what kind of car you drive, what kind of
iPod you own, the size of your waist, the clarity of your skin and most
importantly, if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend.
These kinds of things are what's valued. And if you don't have the right things,
if you don't have the right image, well then, you're just not that valuable.
So many teenagers have this mindset and the problem is that this way of thinking
doesn't just affect one aspect of your life it affects your entire life. Down to your
very thoughts and doubts of self-worth. That's deep! That's pretty much as deep
as it gets. Now, I was born with this physical difference
and no amount of makeup or stylish clothes were going to help me blend in.
Have you ever seen the movie, "What A Girl Wants" with Amanda Bynes? You
know that one part when that Asian guy is like, "why are you trying so hard to fit
in when you were born to stand out?" Well I guess you could say that I was literally
born to stand out. Unfortunately, when I was young, I fell into
that system of belief where I had to have this perfect outward image in order to
BE SOMEBODY at my school. I didn't have the latest clothes, pretty much
all of them were hand-me-downs. I didn't own an iPod. Nobody ever, ever had
a crush on me. I wasn't a part of the "popular" crowd and I just never felt like
I fit in anywhere. But you know I didn't really let that get
to me too much and I still went on with everyday life. I still felt just fine I still
kept a smile on my face, but at the same time there would always be that constant awareness,
in the back of my mind, of how different I was. And how different I would
always be. I would come home from school feeling just
fine and happy, but at the same time I felt empty. And there were only a few times
when I would come home from school crying. When I would actually just pour out
all of my feelings. And that usually only happened when I would find out the names
that people had called me behind my back. Because that was like this
total confirmation of how I didn't fit in, how I wasn't popular, and how I was worthless.
But I could always count on my mom to lift me up when I was feeling low. And
she taught me, "Rebekah, you're different. You ARE different. And there's
nothing wrong with that! So why should you try to be the same?"
My mom never allowed me to pity myself, although I felt like I had the best
excuse in the whole entire world! She gave me the strength to carry on and to
stay confident. And really, what's the point of pitying yourself?
Will it help you get anywhere in life? No. All it will do is further harm you
and stunt any potential that you have. All pitying yourself does is makes you feel
bad for yourself, which makes you feel bad for yourself, which makes others
feel bad for you, which makes you feel even more bad about yourself.
So you see, self-pity is like quicksand and it will swallow you and consume you
whole if you allow it to. So although you may have the best excuse in
the world to pity yourself--don't. Because all it will do is harm you and further
discourage you. I can only imagine where I would be in my
life right now if I had continued to pity myself. Not here! Not in front of you with
total confidence and this desire to inspire others.
Right now, I believe that many of you are struggling with some form of insecurity.
And that insecurity was probably brought about by believing in this system that
says you're only as good as you look. And you're constantly trying to prove yourself
worthy, and you're constantly trying to fit in, and you're constantly coming
out empty. And some of you just try so hard to fit in
that you resort to desperate measures. Some of you are struggling with an eating
disorder because of this system. Because somebody called you "fat" or because
you feel like the only way that you can feel accepted is if you're skin and
bones. Some of you have cuts and scars on your body
because of this system. Because you've experienced some form of bullying.
Whether it be physical or verbal or even silent bullying of glares and stares
and others ignoring you or just leaving you out.
Some of you are constantly living in darkness because of this system. Because
you don't feel like you'll ever fit in and this system has caused you to feel
worthless and empty. And some of you actually believe that your
existence is pointless because of this system. Because of this flawed system.
Well, do you know what I say? AWAY WITH THIS SYSTEM. I'M TIRED OF
PUTTING ALL OF MY ENERGY INTO YOU ONLY TO COME OUT FEELING
EMPTY. AWAY WITH THE PEOPLE WHO ABIDE BY THIS SYSTEM. I DON'T
NEED THIS KIND OF SHALLOWNESS IN MY LIFE. IT'S DONE NOTHNG BUT
BRING ME DOWN. You need to come to a point in your life where
your eyes are opened to the destructiveness and the shallowness and the
flawedness of this system. So that you will no longer desire to be a part of
it. So you will no longer desire to be associated with anything having to do with
it. So that then you can focus on more important things. Things with more substance
and meaning. Things that are more true to who you are. Things that will
better you. Things that will make you feel better about yourself.
So once you do away with this system, what do you lean on now? What are you
supposed to depend on now? How about a more dependable and less flawed
source. Stay close to your family and friends who love and care about you and
who support you. Believe what they say about you rather than what other
shallow people, who don't care about you, say. You know, if I had stayed in the
love of my family and if I had never ventured out into the world, I would have
never though that anything was wrong with me! Never!
But the thing is, you can't hide from the world. Sooner or later you will have to
face the haters and you can either choose to believe them or to probe them
wrong. I chose to prove them wrong.
I went from being that girl who absolutely hated going to Wal-Mart because of all
the staring eyes all around me, to the girl who know has embraced that and loves
standing out in front of a crowd. And dreams of standing in front of crowds of
thousands and inspiring others. It's all a matter of who you choose to believe.
And if right now you're saying, "Rebekah, I don't have anyone I can believe.
I don't have anyone I can turn to." Then believe me and trust me and talk to me.
I am here for any of you if you need help or if you just need someone to talk to.
I really hope that this video got through to you and I really hope that it spoke to
your heart. Because it's not enough just knowing these things, you have to
believe it and then live it out and apply it to your life.
And I think that if you truly know and truly believe these things, that you will
live it out. I really hope that I was able to help you
in some way and I can't wait to see you guys again :)