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Today is thursday 29th of September, it is 6.30 pm.
Time for "Attractive - The Star Magazine". My name is Jurassica Parka
and our 3rd season starts with many new innovations.
STRONGLY RELEVANT
Miss Hole thought she would have her free day with a pampering visit to her favourite hair dressers - but she hadn´t reckoned with me!
I´m on my way to the hair dresser, and I will surprise Miss Hole.
She has her free day and thinks she will be pampered all day...
Fiddlesticks – today I´m doing an internship! Let´s go inside!
- What are you doing here??? - I want to do an internship and thought I could surprise you....
- And YOU are going to cut MY hair??? - I´d love to...
- Tell me, Kathi, you are the owner of the hairdressers, right? - Yes...
- That means I´m in good hands and you will show me the latest cutting techniques, and how we will turn Miss Hole into a topmodel? - Yes! - I´m really looking forward to that!
Then things started to happen very fast. After I chose a wonderful and trendy blond out of the rich colour palette for Miss Hole,
the strands of hair had to be seperated and coloured.
What a terrible work! To be honest, I was brassed off after that...
- What can I do now for Miss Hole? - I think she would like to have a new drink. Ask her... as common for an intern.
- I´d love to have a tea. - Black tea? - Yes!
We will leave you alone for a little while, that you can relax. Okay?
I´m afraid, hairdresser is not really the job I was looking for...
The work is extremely filigree, my hands got dirty and the haircolour smells like toilet cleaner...
I´m not sure if THIS is the job I want to do.
At first I´ll finish my cigarette and then we´ll see. Maybe Kathi will prove that black is white.
This would be after my fancy! Lying down in front of the chair, only looking beautiful! Exactly as beautiful as you are.
- She smells a bit strange though. - Yes, this is a fragrance called "Harbour ***".
- Yes, that´s what she looks like. - Come on! - A *** dressed to kill.
- It´s a dog´s perfume, it usually smells very bloomy.
Dear audience. As you can see, I´m already very busy.
I´m very excited how my hair colour will come out. That one I recommended Miss Hole.
Now we will cut Miss Hole a beautiful trendy and fresh hair cut!
- Okay... like that? - Yes, perfect.
- Works out quite well! - I´m a little bit stressed. - No, everything is allright.
- Just comb it again. - Oh, it´s a bit miscut...
- Shall I take out the slides now? - Exactly.
- The slides are very large. - It´s okay. No.... but this is too much.
Where can I leave my comb now? I cannot put it into my mouth, right? Especially not the trimmer.
Mind to be accurate! Use the slide! Just start here at the beginnig!
- You´re already becoming kind of ***, Kathi! - Perfect.
- Whereto? - Just turn it up.
Now I´ll demonstrate how to layer hair. Actually it´s one of my hobby-horses...
You have to divide the left from the right, until a little piece of hair remains in the middle.
It´s so important to do it VERY precisely.
And then...
I´ll make it... one second.
F***
Now you simply cut the layer.
Good. And now piece by piece.
It´s a Sisyphean task but makes a lot of fun though.
Right now I show you how to layer the hair at the head´s upper part.
Simply seperate a "passé". That´s the professional term for this special part of the hair. I love being professional!
Now I´m overtaxed. I don´t know...
... which hand I have to use for what. I´ll simply improvise.
- Be accurate! - Hell, yes.
Exactly... and lift it... Put away the comb and just cut it.
- Shall I cut it now? - Lift it a little bit more.
- Now I cut it off! - Good!
I´ll carry on with that now.
Miss Hole, as you can see I layered everything. Your cut is a bit longer at the front side. I don´t recommend you a fringe, because your face is a bit too round.
I think it perfectly suits you.
Upon I finished Miss Hole´s haircut, I have to say that being a hairdresser is not as bad as I expected it. The result looks quite presentable!
I´m very curious how the result will look after blow-drying. But before I´ll carry on, let´s have a relaxation cigarette.
Power on!
- Is this okay, Kathi? - Perfect. You do it very well!
Look at this! It works!
F***
F***
I´ll carry on and afterwards we´ll meet again.
Let´s have a look at the result, I have done with it.
I would recommend we leave it like that. This is a perfect summer haircut.
Let´s check it from the backside. Wow, it´s so fresh!!!
(Our career as the "Kessler-Twins" can start right now.)
Last finish: hairspray!
Kathi? Now that I finished Miss Hole´s haircut - what do you think about my work?
It´s perfect, Jurassica. I couldn´t have done it better. Fantastic! Great strands, great cut, perfect styling.
- That means I can start working here? - Sure, let´s sign the indenture.
I´m so happy! We´ll do that in a short while. But previously we have to cash up Miss Hole.
- Let´s make a new appointment. - I´ll be pleased.
Monday 10th of octobre...
- ... at 1 pm... we´ll meet again, Miss Hole. - I´m looking forward to seeing you again.
- Bye. - Bye.
This was my internship for one day. I got a whiff of being a hairdresser and I tasted blood. Before I finally get back home, I´ll sign the indenture.
THE EARLY PARKA
Oi – a new category! The early Parka! What is that going to be?
I will tell you: an absolute highlight!
I already did TV-Shows in my very young days.
Good day, ladies and gentlemen. We like to welcome you to "W-TV".
I was working for "Windenweg-TV" (short "W-TV") from 1990 -1995 as moderator, producer and actor.
I was asked to do a lot of things: News, talent shows, quiz shows, Scifi-series and even crime movies.
I was an all-rounder in the past already.
Look forward to the best highlights of W-TV in this season of "Attractive".
So sweet!
Now I will segue into our promiflash!
Folks! He is dead. Give it a bone. Man!
And yet anothter new category!
As you know, I strongly love talking, therefore it was only a matter of time for "Attractive"´s own talk show.
It’s time for "Attractive Late Night".
Welcome to "Attractive Late Night", the new category in your favourite show.
From now on I will have a new topic every month. Therefore, I will weekly invite a guest to my studio, and every 3rd Friday we will have a wonderful show in Rauschgold, with all guests together.
We will also have a show-act and also some special guests.
Our topic for today – which surely concerns all of us – is housekeeping and its management.
- My first guest today is Margitta. Hello Margitta. - Hello Jurassica, I´m glad to be here. - I´m glad that you´re here.
- Tell me, you are housewife and mother?! - Yes, you are right.
- You brought up a child? - Yes, a son.
- Hopefully he already moved out? - Yes, more than 10 years ago.
- But I imagine you still have a lot of work to do, right? - Yes, definitely!
- Are you living in an appartment or house? - House. - Ayayay, I can see a lot of work to do...
Tell me, have you always been housewife? Or did you work in a job before?
For sure I had a job, which I worked in during the first years of my marriage. Then I got my son and stayed at home.
- What kind of job did you learn? - Technical draftswoman.
Was quitting your job a matter of course, when your son was born?
Yes, it was. Maybe I was thinking a few times to go back to work, but it never appeard to happen.
Well, I have to say, I would LOVE to stay at home all day! I wouldn’t mind it at all.
- Now, we get into the dilemma. As as housewife you have to keep the household in excellent condition, right? - Yes, that’s right.
Do you like doing that?
Well, more or less. I like to cook, which developed over the last years. In the early times of my marriage I cooked horrible. But due to good cookbooks I managed to do it better.
- How about ironing? - Well yes, is also not a favourite thing, but has to be done. And I´m doing it regularly once a week.
- You iron every week? - Yes, every week.
- What are you ironing then? - Well, I don’t iron everything, no underwear or pyjamas as some women do. But t-shirts, blouses...
Man, that ends up in work!
Dear viewers, I have to say I always thought that I´m quite good in housekeeping besides my profession as an international topmodel.
(Which is actually doing my cleaning lady...)
But now sitting next to a professional housewife, I realise there is more with it that just beeing beautiful...
What I´m really interested in: I always have problems with doing the housekeeping in highheels. How do you do that?
(Whats wrong with the sound? Folks, this is a LIVE-Show! F***!)
I´m wearing flat shoes of course.
- Flat shoes... flat shoes? - Flat shoes.
- Don’t tell me that you don’t have artificial fingernails? - I don´t have artificial fingernails – as you can see.
This is why i DON´T like housekeeping at all.
Let’s continue, before I get more bad news.
My dear Miss Hole prepared 10 keywords on the subject of housekeeping, that I will ask all of my guests. In the end we will have a nice comparison.
(Is Brigitte now working in the sound engineering or why is that all going wrong? We cut that interview now.)
From now on, I will host the weather myself. All the others obviously don’t get it right.
This will be kind of stressful in such a live broadcast, but – what can i do? I will go over into the weather studio. See you soon...
THE WEATHER
Nice, the weather chart isn’t here yet…
(Ugly Face)
The weather stays somewhat Indian summerly warm, however in the south of Germany thunderstorms are expected.
The weekend will be wonderfully warm again, especially here: in the eastern part.
Come off it!
Stupid cow!
Germany is full with excellent parties, my dear viewers. Therefore one has the agony of choice…
Luckily you have me and my widespread correspondents. Every week, they present another party in another city. And action!
Hello Jurassica, hello viewers of "Attractive". My name is Mandy Cleenex, and this is my party tip.
At 1st of October in "La Boum" in Leipzig, probably the straightest club in the city, will be my birthday bash! Many different DJs, I will be there, the „Ex“ will be there, and hopefully you, too!
I will see you on 1st of October in Leipzig.
We are now coming to an end already.
I´ll go to Rauschgold, directly at the bar and will have 8-12 shots.
Cheers!