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What's this?
Is that a trick question?
Value range?
And this. And this.
If you valued our health,
you wouldn't be feeding us this ***.
She's right, Mrs. C.
This kind of food very low in essential proteins and vitamins.
LINDSAY: This family needs to save money --
not that you, Reza, are family.
Cash is gonna be tight for a while.
So is my *** if you keep on buying prison food.
Constipation is some nasty ***, man.
Look when I get a job that pays more, we can spend more, okay?
Mum, that garden center is just embarrassing.
I mean, look at what they make you wear.
You do realize it looks like the "Nature's Beauties"
are your ***.
Yeah, well, your father wouldn't disagree.
Mum!
-[ Person howls ] -What was that?
Maybe someone ate the value gherkins.
The water's cold! Why is the water cold?
Cause I had a timer installed.
-What is that?! -A timer.
Not breaking any stereotypes
about wannabe models, are you, Kace?
No more 15-minute showers, Kacie.
And no more oak-smoked bacon, Vin.
-Maple-smoked. -That's not the point.
Totally different flavor, but whatever.
I have a spot, and it's all your fault!
[ Sobbing ]
Mum, I need some money for lunch.
-[ Coins clinking ] -This is all I've got.
Jesus, Mum.
You really want us all to hate you,
you're going the right way about it.
-Way to go, Mum. -Please, Vin. Not you too.
I just want us not to end up in prison like Dad.
I want us to be a normal family.
NORMAN: Who's up for Jenga?
What's up, slutty?
I'm never gonna be thin if I keep eating cheap crap.
And I'm never gonna have clear skin
if I keep working in a chip shop.
And I'm never gonna be a model if I'm fat and spotty!
[ Sobs ]
Well, my work here is done.
Don't worry, Naomi.
I won't give up.
I'll make it.
And then I'll help you.
All of you.
And bring world peace.
Yeah. [ Sobs ]
Just like Naomi did.
Hey!
She's working on it, ***.
MAN ON P.A.: Today at Nature's Beauties we're offering...
Thank you.
Oh! "Nature's Beauties."
-Very classy. -It's a job.
So when you're busting your *** here,
you think your kids are gonna stay out of trouble, do you?
Thanks for the vote of confidence, Sergeant.
Oh, well, you know.
ON P.A.: A gentleman at the checkout
has lost a large blue vibrator.
We're looking for a large blue vibrator.
[ People chuckling ]
Good morning.
Oh, isn't your mummy mean,
making you come and work for the nasty Chinese people?
You mean nasty triads who'll cut off my hands
if I don't do as I'm told.
That's not fair, Vin. It'll only be a few fingers.
-[ Laughs ] -That's not funny.
Oh, calm down. I'm joking.
Mm.
Look, you're all hot.
Thanks.
Don't bother, Vin. I'm way out of your league.
Thanks, love. There you go.
Thanks.
Hey, why does Tracy get her photo on the wall?
Employee of the month.
Tracy has a real feel for cod.
Now, listen, no way.
You put her fat mug on the wall,
you're not gonna get any customers in here.
Why don't you try someone a little bit more...presentable?
Lose that.
Then we'll talk.
CAITLIN: There's no paper.
Again?
CAITLIN: I've taken to using the hem of my overalls.
Oh.
CAITLIN: It's surprisingly absorbent.
Could you please knock?
Clive, there's no loo paper in the ladies' toilets -- again!
That's the second time this week.
And this is the fifth time
you've barged in here complaining about something.
It comes down to profit margin.
A 38%...
Clive, there's profit margin
and there's making your employees
wipe their *** with their hands!
Don't ever touch the calculator.
LINDSAY: This place is a joke.
Clive, the manager, hates me, and he's completely deranged.
He keeps talking about everything in percentages.
Hey, Caitlin.
It's driving me crazy.
So jack it in. Get back in business.
Whoever said crime don't pay is a moron.
You nick a lot of money, you get a lot of money.
Crime pays, end of.
Says the man doing four years in prison.
No, I'll be fine, love.
Although it doesn't help
that Clive is just begging to be robbed.
What?
Every morning, the delivery guy parks his lorry,
leaves the keys inside,
and then he goes to the toilet for a disturbingly long time.
So I could just walk right out now with a lorryload of stuff.
So do it.
We keep you out of it, obviously.
I'll call Vin, get the lads on the case.
No, Mack, I'm just telling you
'cause it makes me feel better --
you know, knowing that I can pull of this job
while I put up with the manager's crap.
It just shows me I can change, you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Call me when you're done being Saint Lindsay.
I love you too.
Your husband okay?
Yeah, yeah. I just miss him, you know?
Aye. It's not easy.
I only got out a few months ago myself.
On parole, you know?
Got home to find my husband wearing my underwear
and having sex with my brother.
Funny thing, marriage, isn't it?
MACK: Jack it in. Get back in business.
Whoever said crime don't pay is a moron.
***!
I haven't done anything.
Why can't you just leave us alone?
Oh, this isn't police business.
This is, uh, business of the heart.
Oh, my God. What are you doing?
♪ Kacie Carter makes my heart beat faster ♪
Stop singing.
♪ Kacie Carter, don't want to be apart-uh ♪
Look, Constable...
-Harrison. -Harrison, yeah.
I'm gonna make this very easy for you.
No way. Not ever.
You've got terrible dress sense, and you've got stupid hair.
And as for those...
They're actually quite nice.
I'll keep them.
But you haven't even heard the rest of the...
...song.
Hi.
Your till was down 14.5% yesterday afternoon, Lindsay.
You need to reel them in.
Show that lovely smile of yours.
Those soft, pink gums.
*** off, Clive.
I'm watching you.
[ Door opens ]
Whoa!
Clive's got me cleaning the toilets.
You're doing an excellent job.
The wanking shitmonger *** me right *** over!
Wow.
Sorry. Sorry.
I tend to swear a lot when I'm angry.
I put the hedge trimmers in the wrong section, right?
Which meant sales were down 7%.
Caitlin, what are you on about?
Clive.
He's put me on toilet-cleaning duties for a month,
and he's docked me a week's wages.
Over some hedge trimmers?
I can't afford to go without for a week, Linds.
I've got two kids, you know?
Look, we'll grab a coffee after I just...
Och, there's still no paper in there.
This is ridiculous. We got to do something.
Magic!
No. No, no, no. Not that.
I've got a better idea. Come on.
What about the security cameras?
If you don't want to get involved, Caitlin, that's fine.
No, I meant, like, send him our regards.
[ Both laugh ]
CLIVE: What's going on?
We're striking a blow for the working classes, Clive.
-Yeah, Lindsay! -Yeah, go, Lindsay!
SWEET: So, basically, society is like...
what, Lianna?
If you'd been to more than
one of my classes this term, you'd know.
What's the universal example, guys?
ALL: Poker.
Exactly!
Society is like a game of poker.
There's queens and kings,
and you play the hand you're dealt or you're ***.
Don't sweat, Lianna.
We're all grown-ups here. Swearing is not an issue.
***, ***, ***.
***.
Yeah, okay, that was once, Roy, but, yeah.
We're down.
You're gonna like this class, Lianna.
[ Speaking Chinese ]
My father has another job for you.
A more responsible job.
He wants a swimming pool.
VIN: But you've already got one.
[ Speaking Chinese ]
He wants another one.
Okay?
Kacie?
Ah! Mum.
Mum?
I can't afford to lose my job.
Oh! Where's the trust?
A daughter and her mum have got to have trust.
Socks.
The chip fat is killing my complexion, Mum.
I need tea tree oil.
Kacie, I don't want you to steal,
and I especially don't want you to steal from here.
[ Sighs ] Mum, it's my dream!
I've only ever wanted to be a model.
LINDSAY: What do you want for Christmas, Kacie?
Do you want a new bike?
Do you want a big doll's house?
Do you want Mummy to buy you a big doll's house?
I want an agent.
They're not even putting my face on the wall, Mum.
I don't know what that means, but I'm sure you'll get over it.
My career is going nowhere.
I'm gonna be a big, fat, spotty chip-shop girl --
Oh, ***.
Shoplifting is a very serious crime.
I didn't even steal it yet.
I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.
Lindsay, you got to come with us.
Why?
One pack of paper napkins stolen from the premises.
You're joking, right?
No, no. I'm sorry. It's my job.
I'm here for you.
Oh! Get off me, you weirdo.
Lianna, I need you to
♪ rock on ♪ up here
and introduce --
or rather "sing-troduce" yourself.
I can't sing.
[ Chuckling ] Oh, you can't sing.
We've all done it.
-I didn't do it. -Yeah, you're different, Roy.
-Mr. Sweet -- -Uh, Edgar.
You want me to make up a song about myself
in front of everyone?
Well, it's either that or detention for a week.
All right, mate?
Come on.
♪ In the middle ♪
[ Chord plays ]
And...
[ Slow guitar music playing ]
♪ I'm Lianna ♪
[ Students murmuring, chuckling ]
♪ And this is weird ♪
-[ Laughter ] -GIRL: God!
How embarrassing!
She hasn't got the music in her, guys.
VIN: She's deliberately messing with my head.
You trashed something important of theirs,
and now you have to pay.
Hong's a triad, Vin.
You know what they're like about respect and stuff.
At least they're not cutting off your hands.
Actually it's just the fingers.
[ Chuckles ]
For some reason that was funny when Vicky said it.
You look like ***, by the way.
This afternoon a bloke tried to choke me
because I was eating my dinner too loud.
What's your excuse?
It's not fair, man --
you being stuck in here
while Mum's got us playing Mr. Nice Guy.
I miss you.
[ Sighs ] Ah, could be worse.
You ***!
You ***!
[ Indistinct shouting ]
See?
Get off!
Get off me! Get off!
You know, I don't why I couldn't have just stayed with my mum.
Lawyers only. Regulations.
Thanks for the lift.
I love you, Kacie Carter.
You're the creepiest man ever.
♪ Kacie, Kacie, you make me feel spacey ♪
And the worst songwriter.
You're gonna be a model, Kacie,
and every model needs someone to adore them.
Hey, I'll follow you to the end of the earth if I have to.
True.
But, um, actions speak louder than words.
You got a lot of work to put in.
[ Keys jingle ]
[ Door unlocks, opens ]
[ Door closes ]
Are there any other questions for my client?
Your -- Your client?
Taylor, she's your mother.
Are there any other questions?
You know, when I got my badge,
I dreamt about catching serial killers,
child molesters, murderers.
Yeah, not mothers who shoplift napkins for hygienic reasons.
You did it, and your boss wants to press charges.
Clive hates me. He has since the day I started.
Ed, I don't deserve this.
My client has no criminal record.
She does, however, have a criminal family.
I'm gonna come down so *** this department,
you're gonna wish you hadn't been born.
Actually I am gonna give your mother an unofficial caution.
It won't even appear on her record.
But, you know, thanks very much for the warning, Taylor.
Okay?
Edgar completely embarrassed me in class, in front of everyone.
-He made me sing. -I'll have a word with him.
There's more.
Mum's gonna be calling the school every day
to check that I've been coming in.
I want you to tell her that I have.
Lianna, you can't keep doing this.
You need an education.
You need to start shaving your armpits,
but I'm respecting your choice.
I'm the deputy headmistress. Don't talk to me like that.
Before you set off on the long hike to the moral high ground,
I'd like to remind you that you had sex with my brother
when he was still a schoolboy
and that I have photos, Miss Deputy Headmistress.
You know what?
***. Use them.
What?
I've had enough, Lianna.
No more. Get me fired. It'll be a bloody relief.
And as for Edgar, well, he's your problem now.
He can get you to sing an operetta
as far as I'm concerned.
Now get out of my office.
TAYLOR: It was a *** job anyway, Mum.
-[ Clicks ] -KACIE: It doesn't work.
Nothing does. We've been cut off.
[ Door closes ]
You all right?
Yeah, I just got a slap on the wrist.
DONNIE: Good evening.
Oh, hello, Donnie. Thanks for coming over.
I knew you'd call, Lindsay.
I'm gonna take you dancing,
I'm gonna put flowers in your hair,
and then, who knows, maybe we'll do it.
Much as I'm enjoying you come onto me
whilst my children watch,
that's not why I called you here, Donnie.
Next time you see Mack, tell him thanks but no thanks.
I want nothing from him, from you, or from the business.
Now, I'd make you a cup of coffee, but the power's off.
Good night.
Do you mean you had money
and you made me keep working in that dirty chip shop?
And let me work my nuts off at the Hongs?
You know, Mum, principles are one thing.
Making your family live in the Dark Ages is another.
Catherine's wondering why you didn't use the photos.
Can't quite believe she still has a job.
Because if you must know, Taylor, I'm bigger than that.
You don't have them anymore, do you?
No. I kept them at Grandpa's.
They got torched when his stupid house burnt down.
I'm so not bigger than that.
Don't judge me, ***.
I'm not the one banging my old teacher.
Have fun at school, sis. I know I did.
[ Chuckles ]
Whoa! Lianna?!
What's he doing here?
He's stalking me.
What?
I've arrived, Lianna. It's my first stalker.
What about Ned Hartley in year three?
No, he wasn't a stalker. He was a ***.
-Is that different? -Yeah.
Well, he told me it was.
Anyway, look, that's my first proper stalker.
All the top models have 'em.
Coffee. Keep your strength up.
Thank you.
Oh, there's no electricity, so it's cold.
It's nice.
Explain.
Look, it's about time I took charge of my career, Lianna.
You know how long I've wanted this.
Lo, can it be a angel from above?
LINDSAY: Oh! Look, there she is. There she is.
Oh, my God. What is she doing?
MACK: That's my angel.
-Work it, babe! Whoo-whoo! -[ Laughter ]
LINDSAY: Where did she learn that?
MACK: [ Laughs ]
So it's about time I made things happen.
By bringing cold coffee to your stalker?
No, sweetheart.
I called the local paper.
Oh, you can't buy this sort of publicity.
Only you would cultivate a stalker as a career move.
I know. Brilliant, aren't I?
[ Laughs ]
Check it out.
Dude! Ha ha!
It wasn't easy, Reza.
I had to master the controls on that thing.
While you've been getting ***, I've been doing this.
It is big, man. [ Laughs ]
You know, it's weird.
I hated doing it, but now it's there
I've got this awesome feeling like...
-What's it called? -***?
-No, Reza, it's... -Hungry?
Accomplishment.
I've achieved something for the first time in my life.
Okay, it's just a hole.
But it's my hole, Reza.
[ Laughing ]
What?
You said "hole." [ Laughs ]
MR. HONG: [ Shouting in Chinese ]
What does he think? He likes it, right?
He says fill it all in.
-What? But I've just -- -Those are his orders.
VIN: [ Sighs ]
[ Snorts, laughs ]
WOMAN: Come in.
Now, that is a winning hand.
Damn you all.
You're such a bad loser, Edgar.
Mr. Sweet, you wanted to see me?
Edgar. Please.
What did you want...Edgar?
Buckle up, sister.
You're gonna finish your song today.
Are you trying to humiliate me?
Okay, boys, this time Edgar
is gonna ♪ bring ♪ on the thunder.
[ Exhaling sharply ]
-[ Gas hissing ] -LIANNA: This is so sad.
If you want your dinner, it's either this or cold baked beans.
-Beans! Awesome, man. -[ Lighter clicking ]
I'm a fan of the bean.
When I'm a top model like Naomi,
I'm gonna make sure that everyone gets free electricity.
Yeah, cause standing around in a thong
really is the way to tackle world poverty.
Here, let me help.
-Whoa! -Jesus, Vin!
What have I told you about helping?
[ Knock on door ]
BAIN: Evening, Lindsay.
Ah, you've come to arrest me
for the great napkin heist, have you?
Actually, this morning
a Nature's Beauties delivery lorry
was stolen from the premises in broad daylight.
So?
So it looks like whoever stole it
knew exactly what they were doing --
like they worked there, or they used to work there.
You can't be serious. You think I did this?
Give it back, apologize, and we can keep it out the courts.
I didn't steal anything.
Lindsay, you're not like the rest of your family, you know --
You're not a criminal.
-Hey! -What you saying, man?!
Ed, I swear to you, I'm out of all that.
I didn't steal anything.
Right now I'm gonna look the other way.
But if that lorry doesn't go back tomorrow,
things are gonna get very, very serious.
[ Door closes ]
Mum.
No, I didn't do it.
Oh, we really wouldn't mind if you did, Mum.
-I bloody didn't, okay? -You can tell us, Mrs. C.
Me and Vin will get rid of the gear if you like.
Why don't you believe me?
Mum, who else would bother stealing a delivery lorry
from outside a garden center?
Don't be ridiculous.
I laid out the whole job on the phone to you.
And if you spotted it,
chances are everyone else in the place did too.
-So it's a coincidence? -Yeah!
I could go to prison, Mack.
If I'd really done the job, do you think I'd let that happen?
If you'd taken the money I offered you,
you wouldn't be in this position.
You can take your money and shove it up your ***.
It's our money, Linds.
You think I'm gonna sit around
and watch my family starve in the gutter?
We are not starving, and we're not in the gutter.
Vin told me about the bacon.
So he can't get his oak-smoked bacon.
Big *** deal!
Maple-smoked. Totally different flavor.
But whatever.
Look, Mack, this is my decision.
I-I just want something different for our family.
Like getting Vin to bust his *** with a triad?
He may not be a triad.
He may just be a rich, creepy, violent Chinese man.
-Okay, he's a triad. -Yeah.
But Vin is paying for what he did.
And he'll be fine once he gets used to the idea
and stops moaning to you about it.
You ***!
Jesus!
MACK: Shame.
I was hoping those two would work it out.
Unbelievable. In broad daylight.
KACIE: He's shameless.
I'm just a journalist. Why haven't you told the police?
He is the police.
JESSICA: Abuse of power. Police corruption.
This ***'s gonna win me awards.
It's Kacie with a "K."
[ Up-tempo rock music playing ]
Hey, George, could you stick that on the wall?
Three grand?
Donnie, hi. It's me.
You know that 3,500 grand that Mack left us?
Well, I want it back.
Never mind why.
Or just read it very loudly.
Yeah. Three grand.
For anyone who can give me information
on the garden-center job.
Reliable information.
Now, I'm gonna put that ad all over town, online, everywhere.
So, you got any info, you better hurry.
Cheers.
What are you doing?
What does it look like?
Vin, you need to get back to Mr. Hong.
I've had it, okay?
Mr. Hong's just messing with my head.
Mum, he made me dig a huge hole and then fill it back up.
[ Giggles ] Hole.
Vin, you broke something very valuable of his.
If he asks you to dress like a milkmaid, you do it!
No way, man! I'm not a ***.
I went out with a milkmaid once.
Big and fat, she was. Like a man.
Look, I know it's not easy.
But maybe working for the Hongs
will teach you something about responsibility.
Yeah, but it's pointless. It makes me feel like crap.
-And Dad wouldn't let me do it. -I don't care.
You want to keep living under my roof, you go back to the Hongs.
She used to pretend to milk me, you know?
That was some painful foreplay, my friends.
MAN ON P.A.: Glove is in the air!
We're offering 9% off all gardening gloves,
so glove up!
Hey, Caitlin.
Lindsay!
What you doing here?
If Clive sees you...
Just thought I'd pop by
and see if you wanted a coffee or something?
You could tell me more about that adulterous,
cross-dressing husband of yours.
Enjoying your visit?
Clive, look, I didn't steal the lorry.
I say you did. With 100% certainty.
Really? Why?
A member of staff saw you commit the crime.
That is ***. They're lying. Who's saying that?
Caitlin?
But you know I didn't.
I'd like you to leave the premises, Mrs. Carter.
Walk away.
-JESSICA: Still there. -KACIE: He's always there.
How do you sleep?
Oh, like, really badly.
And your face is all spotty.
From the stress, I imagine.
Yeah. Exactly.
And you want to be a model, you say?
How long has that been a dream of yours?
Oh...
[ Laughter ]
LINDSAY: Whee!
Would you like some cake, Kacie?
I'm on a diet.
It's your birthday, love.
Models don't eat cake.
Darling, you're seven.
Are you saying I'm past it?
Can't the bloody police leave us alone!
[ Moaning ]
Oh, God.
No! By all means, carry on.
[ Engine turns over ]
What's -- What's the problem?
I always thought the police were wankers.
Turns out I was right.
-What are you on about? -Sir, I can explain.
I just found Constable Harrison outside my house,
*** over a picture of my daughter.
Is that true, Harrison?
-I-It's complicated. -It really isn't, Sergeant.
Your number two here's a pervert.
And as if to prove the point,
he also had a pair of my son's underpants in his other hand.
God knows how he got them.
You are being very patient, Constable.
Anything you ask, my sweet.
I got you something to keep you going.
Your brother's underpants? I thought they were yours.
Harrison, I'm not a lawyer,
but I strongly advise you to shut up 'round about now.
I couldn't give you mine, could I?
That would've been gross.
What if my daughter had seen it? Could have scarred her for life.
Actually I'm quite flattered.
Although, deep down, I was, like, really scarred.
Mentally.
On behalf of, uh, [Clears throat ]
the department and Constable Harrison,
I'd like to profusely apologize
and promise you that nothing like this will happen again.
Of course, Harrison will be suspended.
Mandatory counseling.
Not good enough. I want him thrown out.
Lindsay, please.
You know, he made a mistake --
one stupid, rather perverse mistake --
but it's not worth ruining his career over.
So cops are allowed second chances
but not me or my family?
That's not true.
I won't file a formal complaint
if you drop those ridiculous charges against me.
Lindsay, that's a lorryload full of stuff.
I just can't make that disappear.
Fine. Then kiss goodbye to Harrison's career.
Lindsay...
Ed, you really have no choice if you want to get him off.
Not that he needed much help this afternoon.
Um, all right.
Okay. All right. You win.
Thank you.
Kacie.
[ Door closes ]
I love her.
Say it with flowers, Harrison,
not your right hand and a pair of her brother's underpants.
I hope you know that I want that guy to pay as much as you,
but it comes down to this --
Are we really gonna try and get him sent away
with all his police mates backing him up?
Or are we better keeping me out of jail
so I can be around to look after you?
If you don't like that idea, we can go back.
Mum, it was only a ***, yeah?
[ Speaking Chinese ]
What does he want?
He thinks maybe he wants the pool after all.
[ Door closes ]
Hello, sweetheart. Had a good day?
My teacher totally humiliates me.
He makes me sing in front of the whole class.
But, darling, you can't sing. You're terrible.
Thanks.
Now he wants me to do it again.
So I'm gonna get my own back,
which is where you come in.
How's that?
You used to win poker games all the time, didn't you, Grandpa?
-Dad's always saying -- -Well, I won a few.
Well, this teacher loves poker. He's, like, obsessed with it.
And he gets really pissed off when he loses.
And if he was to be beaten by an old man
in front of all his colleagues...
-Humiliation. -[ Laughs ]
Exactly.
I can't believe you sang.
-Those poor children. -Shut up, Grandpa.
I've been a very naughty boy, miss.
I haven't done my homework.
Are you going to punish me?
Taylor, do we have to?
What do you mean, miss?
Well, can't we just do it normally for once?
"Do it"?
Miss, that's rude.
No, stop. You're 22. I'm not your teacher anymore.
It's fun.
Yeah, but just once I'd like you to take me in your arms
and treat me like a woman.
[ Knock on door ]
What are you wearing?
Vin, it's late.
Ah.
The old schoolboy routine. I know it.
Vin, what do you want?
They want me to make another hole.
Tomorrow.
Another *** hole.
But I have a plan.
I have hatched a plan.
-[ Exhales sharply ] -But I need your help.
Does that plan involve drinking more tequila?
I want to get Dad out of jail.
Vin, it's late, man.
Go home.
I'm serious, man.
My life was fine before Mr. Hong.
And if Dad was here, it'd be like it was before.
We could be a family.
Yeah, we could. In prison.
Vin. Hi.
Dude! Didn't you used to teach us?
Catherine Flitt. Deputy head.
You're banging your old teacher?
High five, man!
Go home.
VIN: ***!
Sorry, I just thought,
now that we're free of your sister's blackmail,
I don't have to be kept a secret.
No, it's just my *** brother.
He's just so...
Stop moping, Carter. Or no biology lesson for you.
-[ Gas hissing ] -[ Lighter clicking ]
[ Knock on door ]
[ Hissing stops ]
-Morning, Lindsay. -Morning, Sergeant.
Have you read the paper this morning?
Nope.
Harrison's been suspended, pending a full investigation.
He may lose his badge. Nice.
Sergeant, I knew nothing about this.
Yeah, well, the deal's off.
Tell me, was that lorry worth going to prison for?
-What's this? -[ Gasps ]
I made the paper!
You knew all about this, didn't you?
Mum! That's an outrageous thing to say.
There's an interview with you.
Oh.
Oh! My head shot came out so well!
Hey, lady, you want chips?
I'm just trying to talk to my daughter.
Hey, I'm trying to run a business here.
You want to stand here, you get chips.
It's 11:00 in the morning.
It's never too early for chips, Mrs. C.
Fine. I'll have some chips.
-Big or small? -Small.
How could you let me stand there in front of Bain
knowing that that article was --
-Sauce? -No!
Kacie, Bain is really angry. I might go to prison.
-No way, Mum. He can't. -Thick cut or straw?
Will you stop *** asking me about the *** chips?!
Dude, I don't think
you should let people customize the chips so much.
Takes too long.
Simplify.
Exactly, my friend.
Yeah.
-Can you please knock? -I didn't do it.
Profits are down 12% this quarter thanks to you.
Clive, you need to listen to me.
Head office are all over me. Making my life a misery.
Really? So how would you rate your misery as a percentage?
73.
Jesus!
Now, you listen, Clive -- Whatever you've offered Caitlin
to testify against me, it's not fair.
I'm sorry that we didn't get on when I was working here,
but that's no reason to send me to jail.
It's not that simple. I need that lorry back.
I've told you I don't have it.
Myself and head office disagree.
Mr. Hong, you've taught me so much about hard work.
And how doing stuff makes you feel better.
Faster.
Even though you've been tough on me,
it's got me into thinking that what I really wanted to do --
-He means get to the point. -Oh.
Well, um, I'm gonna do some building work
back at the house for Mum,
and I was wondering if I could borrow the digger
when I'm done here.
[ Speaking Chinese ]
[ Laughs ]
Very well. Take.
Funny little man.
Thank you.
Gentlemen, place your bets.
Let the ♪ rockin' ♪ and rollin' begin.
Grandpa, what you doing here?
I've been waiting outside for ages.
SWEET: Your grandpa took a wrong turn, Lianna.
Or maybe that was a right turn, eh, Norman?
Poker. Just like at the home.
You can wait while we finish a few hands, all right, mate?
All right.
[ Telephone ringing ]
Hello?
Good evening to you, Mr. Hong.
So, what did Vin do?
Please, give him a chance. He's a good boy.
[ Speaking Chinese ]
It's not Vin, Mrs. Carter. Vin is doing excellent work.
[ Speaking Chinese ]
He pushes your son, but he does not break.
For me, Vin is excellent worker.
In China we have saying,
"Dance with monkey, all kinds of monkey, together."
[ Laughs ]
Oh. It not translate so well.
But in China, very funny.
So why am I here?
[ Speaking Chinese ]
My father hears you pay a good price for information.
You hear right.
For work, I do many things.
Sometimes violent.
Usually violent.
But also I make camera.
[ Speaking Chinese ]
My father installed the security cameras
at Nature's Beauties garden center.
Sneaky ***.
So Clive knows I didn't do it.
[ Speaking Chinese ]
There is something else.
What?
Mr. Clive. He also have special camera.
So I'm thinking we countersue the garden center.
Actually, it turns out that Mr. Hong
installed the security cameras there.
He's got the whole thing on tape.
And that's good, right?
-Taylor, I didn't do it. -I know you didn't.
-The rest of them thought so. -Who did?
Someone I work with.
Who?
Look, the poor woman,
she's not exactly had an easy time of it lately.
She framed you, Mum. Almost got you sent to prison.
Yeah, I know, I know.
But she's just trying to make a life for herself like I am.
Not like you.
'Cause she broke the law. You didn't.
By the way, have you seen your brother?
No. Why?
Well, Mr. Hong said something about Vin
getting a digger back tonight.
It was really weird.
Oh, ***.
[ People groaning ]
Grandpa, you've suckered him in enough.
I think it's time to start winning.
I'm trying.
The truth is, I'm terrible at poker.
I only used to win 'cause I cheated.
So cheat.
I need a bunch of mirrors and two sidekicks.
Why didn't you tell me?
I don't know. I sort of hoped I'd got better.
This is a *** disaster.
Norman, it's your deal!
[ Laughs ]
[ Door opens ]
Planning on some freelance landscaping?
Unless you've come to help me, I don't want to hear it.
Vin, I'm not gonna try and stop you.
I am gonna point out what an incredibly stupid plan this is.
All you'll do is get yourself locked up.
If Dad was here, he'd tell you not to do this.
Because the last thing he'd want is for his son --
let's face it, his favorite son --
is to end up just like him.
I'm, uh, out.
Good night, gentlemen. Thank you very much.
You're welcome back anytime, Norman.
[ Laughs ]
-I'm so sorry, love. -Don't be.
Edgar was so excited about winning,
he didn't notice me taking this out of his pocket.
There's enough cash here to pay our electricity bill.
Where did you learn to do that?
From you. Remember?
When you were seven years old.
You taught me everything I know, Grandpa.
[ Both laugh ]
Hey.
Hey.
Chips, please.
Uh, small, thick cut. Um, no sauce, double salt.
-No. -No?
No options no more. Just chips.
I've been suspended.
Bummer.
The sarge said you used me to further your career.
-Did it help? -Not really.
Congratulations. Employee of the month.
Yeah.
I had to show him the goods.
It's good exposure, innit?
I want you to know that I don't blame you.
I'm the one who got carried away.
Yeah, because you thought that's what I wanted.
I don't want you feel sorry for me, Kacie.
You're too good for that.
Wait.
[ Glass breaks ]
The real thing. It's my way of saying sorry.
You're amazing.
I know.
-A word. -Lindsay!
I'm guessing you've worked it out.
Yeah. You stole the lorry.
Yeah. And Clive knew.
I thought I was screwed, but he hates you.
He says you're a bad influence.
He said that if I kept quiet and blamed you...
I'm sorry.
But I'm on parole here. I can't go back inside.
Are you gonna report me?
I could. But, you know, you've got kids to feed, right?
And you're never gonna do anything like this again, right?
-Right. -Then this way's more fun.
Can people please kn-- What are you doing?
Whoa, whoa, whoa! No, don't!
CAITLIN: What was that?
Clive's got hidden cameras in the ladies' toilets.
-Don't be ridiculous. -We just saw it.
Oh! That's so disgusting.
They're not the only hidden cameras in there.
Really? But where else would he...
Oh!
That's why he never replaced the toilet paper --
so we'd stay there longer.
This is ridiculous.
Here's what you're gonna do, Clive.
You're gonna drop the charges against me,
then you're gonna give me my job back.
I can't just -- I mean, the missing lorry.
The goods are still stolen.
So you're gonna personally replace every single one.
And then you're gonna remove the cameras
'cause if you don't, I'm gonna tell the whole world
about your little fetish.
It's not that simple.
I can't just buy those goods back.
Clive, you've got hidden cameras in the ladies' toilets.
I'd say the chances of us reaching a deal,
percentagewise, was 100, wouldn't you?
There you go.
Before we start...
To Mum -- for getting her job back.
Suck-up.
-To Mum. -REZA: Mrs. C.
And maybe in a few weeks' time
we can start having hot food again.
As long as you keep the beans a-flowin', Mrs. C.
Turn the lights on.
-Grandpa, they cut us off. -Try them.
-Grandpa -- -Try them!
[ Laughter ]
You're not as daft as you make out, are you, Norman?
I am lord of the dance.
-Hey! -[ Laughter ]
Well, thank you, lord.
Yo, that's a slammin' dance, dude.
Lovely beans, Mum.
This dinner's gross and cheap.
Yes, it is gross and cheap, but it's ours,
and it's earned with honest, hard-earned money.
And that -- to me, at least --
makes it taste like the greatest food in the world.
[ Gags ]
-I feel sick. I'm sorry. -I can't eat that.
-Disgusting. -It's inedible.
LINDSAY: Oh, come on. It's not that bad.
VIN: Pass the salt.
REZA: Don't dismiss the bean, my friend.
TAYLOR: Seriously, Mum, that's horrible.
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