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Ever since I was little I've always been a stranger to this world
Always been insecure, lookin' for people to hurt
But I was just a little boy, how would I know what hurts
How can I help it I was born as a braindamaged nerd
They couldn't find nothing or tell us what was wrong with me
Till the doctor told us I had some sort of ADD
That's when my mother lost her mind and started to get migraine
That's where this story begins, that's where I started the pain
So I just went home with my mom cause she wouldn't let me go
Even though my dad wasn't able to handle it no more
And every summer me and my family went to a campsite
And I was smiling, I was playing, everything was allright
And as I grew older I wanted to play with older friends
But then they just shut me out cause I was different than them
Then on a day when I was walking out my avenue
They were all waiting for me and punched me till I turned blue
I keep wondering why I won't die I just wanna end this all with 'Goodbye'
I just wanna grab a knife and kill myself but when I kill myself my soul will still cry
I keep wondering why I won't die I just wanna end this all with 'Goodbye'
I just wanna grab a knife and kill myself but when I kill myself my soul will still cry
I thought it was finally over with this big curse
But when you think it's all getting better it's getting worse
Cause that's life, it's not just being different than other people
It's growing older and knowing more things cause you're not equal to others
Everybody's finding out some strange things some day
Mine is I got 2 personalities which won't go away
One time I'm friendly and emotionally and can't say 'no'
The next minute I just wanna stand the *** up and slit you throat
Just to see what it looks like when you're down there bleeding to death
I know it's sick and I'll never do it as long as I'm loyal to Rap
And my family support me so much, they tryin' to keep me from that
And I just feel bad that I'm too coward to thank them for that
But you know I'll always be here supporting you too
Even though I make mistakes and sometimes just start cussin' at you
But stop telling people I was using words that just are too rough
Cause I wasn't sayin' them about you, I was cussin' about stuff
I keep wondering why I won't die I just wanna end this all with 'Goodbye'
I just wanna grab a knife and kill myself but when I kill myself my soul will still cry
I keep wondering why I won't die I just wanna end this all with 'Goodbye'
I just wanna grab a knife and kill myself but when I kill myself my soul will still cry
I'm always rappin' about killin' hoes and rapin' their friends
You guy's think I hate girls and I'm feeling bad because of them
But really, I think the real reason is the opisite
My heart is empty, that's why I feel bad all the times
All I really want is just to have a beautiful girl
A girl who just came in my life, a girl who saved my world
I fell inlove with someone and gave me a 100%
I've never did that before, not even to my best friends
We had a wonderful time, it was the first time I was happy
Then 5 months later she broke up and she cheated on me
It was like my entire world collapsed
I was sitting in my room crying, hopin' for a heartattack
It was the first time I really ever felt in love
I wanted to kill that *** but instead I went to my sis
And who woulda known she woulda spent hours talkin' with me
You helped me to get over it, I love you sis, we family
And my mom, she couldn't believe her eyes
She's never seen me cry before, the last time was when my grandpa died
But there's one mistake I will never make again
That's when I fall inlove I would never drop me a 100% in her hands
I keep wondering why I won't die I just wanna end this all with 'Goodbye'
I just wanna grab a knife and kill myself but when I kill myself my soul will still cry
I keep wondering why I won't die I just wanna end this all with 'Goodbye'
I just wanna grab a knife and kill myself but when I kill myself my soul will still cry
You don't know how much you really love something until you lost it
So let that be a lesson
When you really love somebody
You've got to give it everything you've got to keep that relationship work
Cause you know it's worth it right?
And if it's not
Well
Someday he will end it
And then it'll be too late