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Hi, welcome to Mental Health Matters. I'm Shannon Eliot. Today we'll be discussing an
issue that many of us have experienced at one time or another: emotional eating.
Lisa Bograd has been a therapist for 12 years. She specializes in treating trauma, eating
disorders, and addiction. Lisa is deeply committed to helping people liberate themselves from
the shackles of food and weight obsession so that they can have better lives and relationships.
Lesley Wirth is a life coach, facilitator, and counselor. She has also struggled with
emotional eating. Lesley uses her personal experiences to help others in attaining a
healthy mind, body, and spirit. She is passionate about helping her clients learn self-love
and how to create the lives they want.
Welcome Lisa, and Welcome, Lesley. Thanks so much for joining me today.
>>Thank you.
>>Lisa, how would you define emotional eating?
>>So loosely speaking, I would say that emotional eating is eating in response to a range of
negative emotions, such as anger, sadness, fear, boredom, or eating to satisfy emotional
needs rather than to satisfy physical hunger. But I also see emotional eating on a continuum
because I feel on some degree in our culture, we all indulge in emotional eating from time
to time. And I think it's somewhat normative. We go to a party and we're not necessarily
hungry, but they're having some cake or we're at an office event and they're throwing a
party for a co-worker and we might have something there or to celebrate or just Thanksgiving.
I think people aren't always hungry but it's part of a ritual that we partake in together.
So I think that's on one kind of end of the spectrum. And then there's kind of a medium
range where emotional eating becomes a little bit more habitual, where it's not just those
occasional times but it becomes more frequent and a little more problematic for a person
where it's something that they feel like they need to do with more frequency. And then at
the end of the extreme I would say emotional eating becomes more of an addiction. And in
that category I would put binge eating disorder, which is actually a newly recognized diagnosis
in the new diagnostic manual. That's really when it becomes a problem where it's very
addictive and compulsive and repetitive and people really feel like they have to do it
pretty much on a daily basis and it becomes just part of a coping mechanism. And it really
can debilitate a person. So that's kind of how I see it in a broad range.
>>Lesley, what is your experience with emotional eating?
>>My experience is on the far end of the spectrum with what Lisa was talking about in terms
of addiction. I have used food to check out and so for me, emotional eating usually means
I'm disconnecting from something. In the past it would be not eating to eating out of compulsivity
and a way to not be fully in my body.
>>To escape.
>>To escape, yeah.
>>Lisa, why do we tend to reach for less than healthy things when we're stressed out? Generally
when we're sad or emotional we don't really reach for green beans and more maybe the Ben
& Jerry's side of things, so why is that?
>>Great question. So I think that stress results from an imbalance between the environmental
load and the individual's perceived ability to cope with that load. When people are under
stress it leads to heightened levels of physiological arousal, which stimulates stress hormones.
Cortisol and adrenaline are among the stress hormones that are released. Typically when
that happens, people will search out a source of comfort to deal with the stress that they're
feeling and the stress that is in their body. And food is actually a very immediate and
gratifying source of comfort and it tends to assuage the stress hormones by releasing
dopamine, which is kind of a positive mood experience. I think that there's a definite
correlation between that. And we've seen that prolonged stress is often associated with
an increase in energy consumption. We're at work and feeling really stressed and we kind
of feel like we need to recharge our batteries. Food is there. It's a quick way to recharge
our batteries. It really works. It gratifies us in the moment. It gives us an energy boost
that we're craving. And we tend to crave in those moments not the vegetables, but the
foods that are high in fat, sugar, and salt. It's just how the body works and those are
the foods we tend to reach for. Studies have shown that perceived high levels of stress
predicts a 3x higher frequency of binge eating than perceived lower levels of stress. There's
definitely a correlation between increased stress and increased bingeing. The particular
foods that we look for when under stress are the foods that are those foods that are going
to release more dopamine into our body and it really does work in the short term.
>>So you both work with clients. You hope to help them overcome unhealthy relationships
with food and help them overcome any personal internal struggles they may have. How common
would you say emotional eating is?
>>From my experience, it's really common. And what I found in working with people is
usually the reason they call me or contact me is related to them wanting to change their
relationship with food. But after an in-depth hour conversation or so, there's something
much deeper going on that they really want to address and they are playing it out with
food because they don't know how else to deal with it. And it definitely has to do with
what Lisa was just saying -- feeling like the environment is too stressful for the person
and they can't handle it. There's this thought of, "I don't know what else to do." And so
that becomes the go-to when they don't know what else to do. And so really getting into
why is it that they feel there is nothing they can do about it and how to create that
opportunity.
>>So yeah, I would say that emotional eating is just like Lesley said a pretty common phenomenon
for people, again kind of on the continuum. But even with binge eating disorder, it's
a pretty common form of eating unfortunately that people do in our culture. And we do live
in a culture where there is so much more stress today than there's ever been before. Studies
are showing that since 2008 -- since the recession -- that people's stress levels have increased
10 percent from what they were. And one of the ways, statistically speaking, people are
coping is not only alcohol but engaging in emotional eating, or binge eating, which is
why we have such a great problem with obesity in the country as well, although that certainly
pre-dated the recession. I think statistics say anywhere between 48-50 percent of people
will engage in some form of emotional eating and it really is a serious problem. The troubling
patterns are resulting in people -- again on the continuum -- having a serious health
problem to it having more of an impairing problem, where they feel in a lot of distress,
where they're having trouble functioning normatively, and where they're really needing to find a
quick source of comfort and food really does provide that for them in the absence of being
able to find other means to comfort themselves.
>>You both mentioned stress multiple times as a big indicator or cause of emotional eating.
We get stressed at work a lot. Jobs are very often a huge source of stress, if not the
most stressful things in our lives. What do you tell people whose main source of stress
is their job and they're eating because of it? That's really tough because that's their
livelihood and that's not something you can necessarily cast aside and get rid of very
easily. So what do you do when you run into folks like that or have clients like that?
>>There's a number of things I would say. First, there's the actual stress level that
we talked about. If the load is more than they can handle -- and unfortunately there
is a lot of people who feel that their stress load is a bit more than they can handle or
maybe much more than they can handle -- so that's something to really look at and take
seriously. I know a lot of people feel like they can't make any changes in that because
they financially are needing their jobs. So I wouldn't necessarily take the drastic measure
of quitting one's job. But I would say to really look at that and think about how if
anything a person can make some small changes in that situation, such as taking a break
during their work day and having some time that they set aside for having their lunch
and not having to eat really quickly and then go back to work. But just setting aside half
an hour.
>>An actual lunch break.
>>Exactly. Actually take a lunch break. Even if Joe Blow and everyone around him is doing
their own thing, this is about you. So take that time for yourself. Or go outside and
go for a walk. Then we would start to talk a out how to begin to entertain the idea of
a more normative eating pattern. Once people get off-base with the emotional eating, it
really throws their whole eating patterns out of whack. So looking at how to begin to
cultivate an eating behavior where it's more regulated so they have a breakfast and then
maybe they have a lunch or a snack in the afternoon or a dinner. We don't want them
to say, "Ok, I'm not eating any breakfast because I'm in a really big hurry because
I need to get to the office. I'll amp up with the coffee. And at 12 o'clock I'm starving
so I get the munchies and then I do some serious mindless eating. And then I'm in a coma for
a little while. Then I get some more coffee." So I really try to get them back into and
implement a pattern of eating that's more regulated and conscious. I think Lesley talked
about this -- mindlessness. A lot of the emotional eating really is mindless eating. And if you
can really be conscious and pay attention to your eating and you can register the experience of satiation
at that point, you don't necessarily need to keep impulsively getting more.
>>Lesley, how did you feel both in the moment when you were emotionally eating and then
afterwards? Did you ever have a mood lift?
>>No. I never actually had a mood lift. I had a disconnect like I told you. So it was
an opportunity I think when I was emotional eating to move from feeling powerless and
overwhelmed to "this is just not so intense." But I never actually felt good or better.
There was never a positive.
>>A neutral.
>>There was a "this isn't so crazy for me right now." And it gave me this false sense
of "I can handle it. And I can handle being in my body/" Because I could if I wasn't feeling
in it. It was like a trick I played on myself. I think that would be the most accurate answer.
>>When did you make that connection that you were eating because of unresolved emotional
issues?
>>I was bulimic for 13 years before I moved into more of the emotional eating. As I made
that change, I learned how my habits with food were directly related to my thought patterns
and my inability to cope with really my own inner world and the way I related to my life
around me. Other people were in the same circumstances and not overeating. So it was my belief systems.
Again, I bring up powerlessness. I felt powerless within the world and within my own self.
>>And how did you eventually overcome the emotional eating battle?
>>Well, that's kind of a sticky question for me because I'm so aware now. I'm hyper-aware
of my relationship to food so I still do think that I emotionally eat sometimes. What that
could look like for me is drinking a diet Coke. And I know that sounds crazy, but I'm
doing something that I don't really want to be doing because I know that diet Coke is
bad for me. And it's not a good or a bad, but I'm just so aware of how each choice happens
and whether I'm fully present and consciously choosing it or not. And when I do get really
stressed, food is the place that I want to go. And knowing that comes the opportunity
to empower myself through making a choice of what kind of life I want to create for
myself. Do I want to create one where I'm continuing to live in the past or creating
in the now what I want the rest of my life to be like?
>>Lisa, how do you work with clients in helping them overcome emotional eating?
>>I really do think that one of the key pieces is helping them to get -- you know, Lesley
was talking about being more in alignment with themselves, which I think is a wonderful
kind of image and idea. And one of the ways that people first and foremost are out of
alignment when they come to see me is that their eating patterns are out of alignment
and eating is a pretty central kind of behavior and a need. And so to start to begin to help
people to get that back into alignment, I think it gets out of alignment for many different
reasons, I think that the dieting mentality that so many of us engage in is one of the
first ways that we get out of alignment with food in particular. And it teaches us to not
be tuning into our own bodies and our own experiences of hunger and satiety but to be
more concerned with how many calories is in something and how much weight I am going to
be losing if I don't eat that or if I eat that sugar food, how that's going to be affecting
me.
So it's really something that feels like a really important thing for my clients to learn
about and some of them are open to that piece to really wanting to either talk about it
or I might refer them to a nutritionist who works with eating issues, not from just the
diet mentality because that's not the kind of nutritionist I want them to be seeing.
But more of somebody that will help them to start to begin to think about legalizing this
whole good food, bad food thing I think is another way people get out of alignment with
food. And not to say that there isn't some truth, that there are some foods that have
more sugar content and fat content and are not the healthiest for you, but it's the way
that we think about them. When we make them taboo, then that sets up this really difficult
dynamic where they become more appealing because they are taboo. So really starting to work
on that level too of noticing the good-bad dichotomy and seeing if they are willing to
try to allow a little more inclusiveness of those foods and see what happens. And then
we talk about that and so trying get them to be more regulating of their food and normalizing
it and including certain foods in their diet. And so that is one piece of a very big kind
of equation. It is one important piece.
I think that really trying to get at what 's eating them, to use that metaphor, like
what really going on to help them to begin to tune in. When you reach for that, or those
M&Ms, do you have any sense of what was going on, like what was happening in your day? And
sometimes I think Lesley spoke about this, that sometimes there is such a disconnect
from one's body not only in terms of hunger and satiety but in terms of emotion so they
are not even always that maybe their friend just made a critical comment to them. And
then they just find themselves reaching for this bag of M&Ms and they didn't even have
any awareness. And so helping them to begin to make that connection and to be able to
start to become more mindful, both in terms of like I know you might say that you want
to eat that right now but can you just check in with yourself even if it's just for a few
seconds before you.
If you want to reach for that, fine, but see if you can start to cultivate listening to
yourself and checking in with yourself and start to break that mindless pattern. And
that's definitely something that I really try to work with. And then the type of therapist
I am -- I'm kind of a more of a depth psychotherapist so I really do try to look at what are some
of the deeper issues here? How were you related to in your life? Were there any traumas that
went on? And so there are some deeper pieces of work that I really do because that can
be a part of it for people. From young ages, they started coping using food as a coping
mechanism because maybe there wasn't a parent available to soothe them and to comfort them
or maybe there was abuse and this was the only way that they could comfort themselves.
So starting to get at that deeper stuff is another thing that I really do try to do with
them, and building a relationship with them where they begin to feel safe to connect with
themselves. Because for people who have had trauma, people become unsafe and food becomes
safety for them. And so if they can begin to trust another human being and be able to
let some of that stuff be known and then they can start to begin to trust themselves and
their own bodies that can be really profound work.
>>I think Lisa makes a really good point in that finding safety is so important sometimes
it helps for people to just.... It can feel so unsafe to go within oneself at that deep
level and to look at that trauma and to be with those feelings that would come up that
people are afraid to go there. So to have someone that they can sit with that they fully
trust who can help walk them through the process and be with them I think is so vital. And
to try to do it alone is really challenging. I don't believe that we're made to live a
life where we have to take ourselves though these things alone. The biggest step that
a person can take is to be honest and to say want to try and try to find somebody that
they feel that they can try with.
>>So I imagine that takes some degree of time.
>>Definitely, that's right. I think that a lot of the patients that I see are very reserved
at first and distrustful and they have had experiences with their therapists. I think
it really does require a certain specialty in this to really understand somebody who's
got eating disorder issues. Sometimes they've been in the gamut of therapists and they're
like "you're not going to get it" or "I'm not going to trust you." It takes time for
them to test and get that I can get it and that I can hold what's going on with for them
or that I'm not going to be easily manipulated and that I am going to be really go to the
hard places or ask the hard questions. And not even if they had difficult experiences
with other therapists. A lot of them have clearly had difficult relational experiences
in general, where people have not been trustworthy where they have been unsafe in different ways.
Maybe somebody has again a parent who is an alcoholic and who's just unavailable. And
that's more the extreme and there is a continuum. There may just be a parent who was just well
meaning but wasn't really able to hear them and listen to them that they had their own
anxiety and kind of got in the way that intruded on them really being able to tune in to this
person in a deeper way. So there is a lot of kind of testing to be able to see well,
is it possible to have a different experience with somebody else? And that really does takes
some time to begin to trust that that can happen and for them to then have an experience
of a different kind of relationship that allows them to have the ability to parent themselves
differently. Because I think a lot of the ways that people are using food sometimes
it's because it's either an emptiness that they are trying to fill or because they are
treating themselves in a way that maybe they were treated in an harmful way repeating that
cycle. So to begin to have a relationship that can help them to really differently to
themselves really does take quite some work to get there.
>>Lesley, what are some effects emotionally eating has had in your life, and what would
you tell someone that may be watching right now who's struggling with the same issue?
>>Well, it's a lot of heaviness, a lot of shame, guilt , and self-loathing. And I would
say that the majority of the negatives effects it's had on me personally has been the way
I feel and view myself. And that emotional eating created this reality in which I was
the perpetrator and receiver of feeling negative.
I was giving that negativity and feeling that negativity and I kept creating that cycle.
And so what I would offer somebody would be to start with really just getting honest with
the reality of how they are showing up for themselves. And I think it was easy for me
to say, well I'm doing the best I can and I was, but I needed to get further help and
I needed a community, and I needed to be ok with the fact that I needed help or that I
needed something more in my life. And I had to start by being really honest with my limitations
at the time so I would invite people to really have a truthful inquiry with themselves and
then listen to their gut. They also have the wisdom within them to find the right direction
and to find the right person and the right remedy for them. So it really becomes having
the courage to follow through on the direction that comes from within. And I think that can
be helped through conversation. They don't have to necessarily believe when they reach
out that it's going to work, but just start to having the conversation and be brutally
honest. That in my opinion is going to be more helpful than any protocol, any diet,
or any anything. Just show up full within themselves
>>Well thank you, Lesley, and thank you, Lisa, for joining me and sharing your wisdom and
experiences today. I sincerely appreciate it
>>Thank you.
>>Our pleasure.
>>Overeaters Anonymous offers a program of recovery from compulsive eating that addresses
physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. To learn more, visit www.overeatersanonymous.org
FEEDING THE HUNGRY HEART: THE EXPERIENCE OF COMPULSIVE EATING and BREAKING FREE FROM EMOTIONAL
EATING by Geneen Roth are books designed to help those struggling with emotional eating.
To find more information on compulsive eating and other eating disorders, check out the
National Eating Disorders Association at www.nationaleatingdisorders.org. To learn more about Lisa, visit her website
at www.therapy4change.net. To learn more about Lesley, visit her website at www.livingurtruth.com.
Thank you for watching, we'll see you next time.