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-Hey, you guys. Shane Dawson here.
So, I was doing a little, uh, browsing on YouTube the other day
and I saw that one of the most-subscribed people of all time
was this kid, Fred.
Fred is basically this kid who talks in a high-pitched voice
and says random things about medication and his mom and stuff
and I thought, you know,
he has so many hundreds of thousands of subscribers.
There's no way I'm gonna be able to top him.
So... the only other thing to do...
is to get rid of him.
Yep. I'm talking about that.
But I can't do it; I'm not a killer. I can't kill somebody.
But I know somebody that would.
Get ready, Fred. She's comin' for ya.
-[panting]
[high-pitched voice]: Hey guys, it's me, Fred.
I'm all tied up. And I don't know where I am.
Maybe my mom tied me up.
Last time my mom tied me up,
it was because she wanted some alone time.
"Mommy time."
Usually when she says, "Mommy time,"
she's in the bathroom for three hours
with the door locked
and the radio on,
but I think the radio's broken, 'cause all I hear is,
"Bzzzzzzzzzz."
[farts]
I think I just farted.
Sometimes my farts smell like peanut butter.
But I don't eat peanut butter.
Then why do they smell like that?
If I'm stuck in here, what am I gonna eat?
I'm gonna have to drink my own pee.
You know how hard it is to pee directly into your mouth?
[groans]
I hope somebody finds me.
What if no one's looking?
Last time a boy went missing,
they found him in the trunk of a guy's car,
naked, with his pee-pee chewed off.
[shrieks loudly]
My mom won't let me have caffeine
because she says it makes me hyper.
No Frappuccinos? No Starbucks?
I think I'm gonna kill my mom.
You wanna watch me do it?
I think I'm gonna do it quick.
I don't want her to have a lot of pain.
Maybe I'll shoot her.
But where am I gonna find a gun?
I think my dad has one.
He kills people for a living.
I shouldn't have said that; now he's gonna kill me.
Or maybe he'll kill my mom.
I need to get out of here.
[high-pitched squealing]
Maybe I can dig my way out.
[scratching floor]
[growls]
Ew, a *** hair.
I think I found my way out.
I'm out! I'm out!
Freedom!
The first thing I'm gonna do is hug my mom...
unless she's dead.
I'm out!
-Yo, Fred.
-Who are you?
-My name is Shananay
and Shane Dawson sent me here to do him
and all his fans a ***' favor.
-Are you gonna take me home?
-Do you live in hell?
-No.
-Well, that's where yo' chipmunk *** is goin'.
[clicks gun]
-Uh-oh.
[multiple gunshots]
[terror music plays]
[gasps]
-Ah! [multiple gunshots]
-Why did you do that?
-***, why won't you die?
-[deep demonic voice]: I'll never die.
-Oh, ***.
Captioned by SpongeSebastian
-[groans]