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Hey all, how is it going? First of all, I wanted to say thank you to all the people
who have subscribed to my channel, the people who have left comments, who have watched my
videos, who pass it along. Even if you are passing my videos along with malicious intent
and calling me the T word or the D word or whatever, thank you, because you are still
getting me out there and showing people the diversity that exists in our world.
One of my videos, my transition timeline video specifically, is pushing if not over 33,000
views. Granted, that is nowhere near the 1 million views that Justin Bieber or whoever
has, but for me that is a lot of people. It is extremely humbling because 3-4 years ago
when I first started making Youtube videos it was just a way for me to vent. It was a
way for me to get some things off my chest. I never thought that I would still be making
videos. I never thought that I would have people in my inbox saying they saw me hanging
out downtown or people on Facebook saying they always wanted to talk to me but never
knew if I am were friendly. Which, by the way, I am totally friendly so if you want
to be Facebook or Twitter friends you can follow me, add me, I do not care. I am super
friendlyÖjust talk or I will delete you. But I digress. But yeah, it is just very humbling
and I appreciate all the support that I have gotten, all the positive feedback, all the
love, and everything like that. I know that I do not make video nearly as much as I used
to but I do still want to be there for my community so if you have anything you would
like me to talk about please send it to me. My main problem is just that I do not know
what to talk about.
With that having been said, I actually wanted to address some of the comments that I get
on Youtube. Specifically the negative, to be more specific the comments that people
leave about how to pass. And I put pass in quotes because I do not believe in the concept
of passing. It, to me, enforces the gender binary that many trans people are trying to
break free of and that I think many people need to break free of because our binary is
just false. There is nobody that really checks all the boxes for what it means to be a real
woman or a real man.
One popular misconception is that all trans people set out to be passable or unclockable.
By that I mean the trans men do not want to exhibit any feminine tendencies because they
might be seen as less than a man. It is all really kind of a hyper-masculinity/hyper-femininity
complex. It makes sense for trans people given social stigma, but it is also very pointless.
The thing isóa lot of trans people do not do that. A lot of trans people have no problem
being visibly trans. I know trans women who keep their facial hair or who may shave their
facial hair and have long hair, may look 100% what you think a woman would look like, but
they do not tuck. This particular one, just because she loves to talk about it, has an
above average flaccid phallus. In other words, her *** is big. So, when she does not tuck
and she is wearing jeans it shows and she as no problem with that. And that is amazing.
Similarly, there are trans men who do not bind and have no problem with their chest
or their ***ówhatever they prefer call themóshowing. There are people who do it
in more subtle ways, who maybe look male and put ìfemaleî on their paperwork or the other
way around for trans women.
We come in an array of different presentations is what I am getting at and there is no one
way to be. Me, I think I am very much androgynous. Apparently I come off a little bit of both
ways to people. But I just think it is really funny when people try to tell me how to pass
because I am like--who asked you, first of all? But more importantly--who said that I
wanted to be masculine? Who said that I had a problem? If I did not like the fact that
I talk with my hands I would not do it. I am very aware that I talk with my hands given
the fact that when I talk my hands are all up here. So I SEE that I am talking with my
hands. I have no problem with that. When people call it out, they say that I come off as more
as a gay guy than a guy. Last time I checked a gay guy was a guy so I am doing pretty damn
well thank you. A lot of times it comes from gay people which also baffles me. It is misogynistic
at times and I just do not do the binary.
This is also one reason that I have a huge problem with the terms transfeminine and transmasculine.
I feel like those terms imply that people are transitioning into a gender presentation
as opposed to a gender identity. That is not at all the case. Some trans women are butch.
Some trans men are femme. Some trans women are lesbians. Some trans men are gay. Some
genderqueer people, maybe on Tuesdays they want to identify as women and other days they
do not really care. Some genderqueer people pretty much always identify as male but they
like to wear dresses. We come in this huge array of presentations so please stop assuming
that we all want to be like the cisgender community with all these rules and all of
these, you know, men can not cross their legs and women can not sit with their legs open
things.
One thing I think it is important for people to realize is that gender identity, self-expression,
and *** orientation are three different things. Gender identity would be me saying
that I identify as a man. Self-expression would be how I present as femme butch. And
then my *** orientation would be ***. I could be a woman who is femme butch and
***. I could be a man who is butch and ***. I could be a man who is femme butch and heterosexual.
Any way you mix it up, none of these things have anything to do with each other, so stop
making the assumption that because I am a man I want to be masculine. Stop making the
assumption that because I am *** I want to present this certain *** way. That is
not at all the case for me or for many people.
To everyone that leaves these types of comments saying how to pass better--stop. Stop, first
of all, because no one asked you. You leave these comments on vides when I am talking
about dating or being friends with people and you are telling me that I do not pass.
I did not ask you. That was not even the topic, so why is that all you are focusing on right
now? If that is all you are focusing on, do not watch my videos until I make a video asking
cis people how to pass better. And what I am really saying is stop watching my videos
because I am never going to make that video. I do not care about passing in that aspect.
I do not care what cis people think about me. I do not care that I talk with my hands.
That is just me.
Another really important thing that I wanted to address is it is rude and annoying and
it is triggering for a lot of people. You may say it to me and I do not care because
I am in a place where I am like fók the world. But some people are in a place where they
are more sensitive. If they think they are presenting how they want to present and they
are passing and you tell them that they are notÖthey get really, really upset. It is
not a bad thing. It is something that comes with being trans.
Just watch what you say to people. Unless we ask you, keep it to yourself because most
likely we do not care. Most likely, we are going to be laughing at you because you think
that your opinion matters as a cis person. Sorry to break it to you, but even though
all of our society says that your opinion matters because you are the dominant culture--it
does not matter. It really does not.