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The fact that this got tired in the market it was in doesn't mean it is a bad letter.
All letters get tired. And, it's because of the changing nature of markets and things.
But, at the time, this was an over-the-top bold promise. You weren't seeing this anywhere
in the magazines. Even the articles they were writing in the magazines were more timid than
this. Eliminate hooks and slices...they would never say something like that. Slash 10 strokes
from your game, almost overnight...it was a huge promise.
But, the hook is the one-legged golfer. This actually helped me think of this whole seminar
idea. It brought home why this seminar was necessary, because I see a lot of people writing
ads, and I know they have my swipe file because they will talk about the amazing secret of
a one-legged accountant. I'm glad you get the joke, because a lot of
people don't. The joke is that carries no value at all. You might as well say "blue-eyed
accountant". It carries no sales value. There's no story value, except "oh, that guy has one
leg. I'm sorry about that." "One-legged golfer"...there is an inherent
disconnect there. Try to imagine a one-legged golfer. The guy swinging a golf club.
And, I'm sure a lot of you have heard the story of this. This is a good example of sales
detective work. This is the first product that they had on golf...it was going to be
a golf instructional manual. And I talked to the talent, who was a wacky guy. And we
went on for an hour. At least an hour or hour and a half interview. And I couldn't get anything.
I knew that if all I had to sell was what he was teaching, which was something called
the triple coil swing. I don't even remember what it was. But, he promised he could correct
the slices and the hooks and add some distance to your swing. Somewhat of a bold promise,
but there was no hook there. Way into the conversation I had the good fortune
to ask him where he got the inspiration for this teaching. He said he was following a
group of golfers, and one of them was a one-legged golfer. He was not sure, when the guy hopped
up to the tee, if the guy was going to fall over when he swung. He didn't, and he hit
a gorgeous drive dead center down the middle of the fairway.
And he realized, at that point...he had this epiphany that what the one-legged golfer was
doing would actually help the two-legged golfer, because it was all about balance and hip placement
and things like that. But, he said "who wants to hear that old story?"
And this is really common. That's why I have a whole chapter devoted to sales detection
work in "Kickass Copywriting Secrets". Because it's where you are going to find...you're
not going to find your story in the company line. You know, if you take out a client,
or if you yourself go to your own brochures and stuff to find the hook...you're not going
to find. You're going to find it by talking to the secretary...you're going to find it
from the guys who are "feet in the street"...the salesmen who are selling it. You're going
to find it from the guy who invented the product in the first place, or who put it together.
Or, if you are your own boss, and you are writing for yourself, you may have to go outside
yourself to find out. Ask your wife what people are saying behind your back about the product.
You may be sitting on great stories that you don't even realize.