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[phone rings]
>> Mark: HELLO?
OH, HI, BILL.
HOW'S IT GOING?
>> OH, PRETTY GOOD.
I'M ON VACATION.
>> Mark: I'M ON VACATION TOO.
>> WELL, WHERE ARE YOU?
>> Mark: OH, I'M OUT EAST.
>> I'M OUT EAST TOO.
>> Mark: WHERE OUT EAST?
>> NEW YORK CITY.
>> Mark: WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
I'M IN NEW YORK CITY TOO.
>> WELL, WHERE ARE YOU?
>> Mark: I'M ACROSS FROM
MANHATTAN, I THINK.
>> THAT'S WHERE I AM TOO.
I'M BY THE RIVER.
>> Mark: I'M BY THE RIVER TOO,
BILL.
>> WHERE?
I CAN'T SEE YOU.
>> Mark: WELL, I DON'T SEE YOU
EITHER.
IT IS A BIG RIVER, YOU KNOW?
ISN'T THAT JUST OUR LUCK?
>> SO CLOSE.
>> Mark: AND YET SO FAR AWAY.
WELL, MAYBE I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.
WHO KNOWS?
>> OKAY, WELL, BYE.
>> Mark: ALL RIGHT.
BYE-BYE.
>> OKAY.
>> Mark: BILL!
>> MARK, FOR CRYING--
>> Mark: [laughs]
OH, BUD.
LOOK OUT, NEW YORK CITY.
HERE WE COME.
>> I DON'T THINK I'M READY FOR
THIS.
>> male announcer: FROM THE
LEGENDARY BEACON THEATRE IN NEW
YORK CITY, IT'S
MARK LOWRY ON BROADWAY,
STARRING MARK LOWRY AND HIS
SPECIAL GUESTS: BILL GAITHER,
SANDI PATTY, THE GAITHER VOCAL
BAND, DAVID PHELPS, PIANIST
EXTRAORDINAIRE ANTHONY BURGER.
INTRODUCING SENSATIONAL SISTER
DUO ANNIE AND KELLY McRAE.
AND THE REASON MARK LOWRY COULD
EVEN BE HERE AT ALL: HIS MAMA,
BEV LOWRY.
>> Mark: I'M THE KING OF THE
WORLD!
>> announcer: MARK LOWRY ON
BROADWAY.
NEW YORK CITY WILL NEVER BE THE
SAME AGAIN.
>> Mark: CAN YOU BELIEVE IT,
BILL?
WE'RE IN NEW YORK CITY.
>> FANTASTIC, ISN'T IT?
>> Mark: OH, I LOVE THIS TOWN.
IT'S INVIGORATING.
I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES.
I BELONG HERE.
>> YOU WHAT?
>> Mark: BILL, I'M BROADWAY
BOUND.
I'M GOING TO PLAY ON BROADWAY.
>> WAIT, YOU LOST ME THERE.
YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY ON
BROADWAY?
>> Mark: YEAH.
>> MARK, YOU'RE WAY TOO OLD TO
START THINKING ABOUT PLAYING ON
BROADWAY.
>> Mark: TOO OLD?
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF YOU'RE SERIOUS ABOUT DOING
BROADWAY, WE'LL GET JAKE AND
VESTAL AND SOME OF THE
HOMECOMING FOLKS TO COME UP
HERE, DRAW YOU A CROWD--
>> Mark: DRAW ME A CROWD?
>> YEAH.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE FUNNIER WITH
ME, ANYWAY.
YOU KNOW THAT.
>> Mark: OH, PLEASE.
>> AND IT'D BE A GREAT NIGHT.
MARK, TRUST ME.
YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT ON
BROADWAY.
>> Mark: ♪ DON'T TELL ME ♪
♪ NOT TO LEAVE, ♪
♪ JUST SIT AND PUTTER. ♪
♪ LIFE'S CANDY, ♪
♪ AND THE SUN'S ♪
♪ A BALL OF BUTTER. ♪
♪ DON'T BRING AROUND A CLOUD ♪
♪ TO RAIN ON MY PARADE. ♪
♪ DON'T TELL ME ♪
♪ NOT TO FLY. ♪
♪ I'VE SIMPLY GOT TO. ♪
♪ IF SOMEONE TAKES A SPILL, ♪
♪ IT'S ME AND NOT YOU. ♪
♪ WHO TOLD YOU YOU'RE ALLOWED ♪
♪ TO RAIN ON MY PARADE? ♪
♪ I'LL MARCH MY BAND OUT. ♪
♪ I'LL BEAT MY DRUM. ♪
♪ AND IF I'M FANNED OUT, ♪
♪ WELL, YOUR TURN ♪
♪ AT BAT, SIR. ♪
♪ AT LEAST I DIDN'T FAKE IT. ♪
♪ HAT, SIR? ♪
♪ I GUESS I DIDN'T MAKE IT. ♪
♪ BUT WHETHER I'M THE ROSE ♪
♪ OF SHEER PERFECTION, ♪
♪ A FRECKLE ON THE NOSE ♪
♪ OF LIFE'S COMPLEXION, ♪
♪ THE CINDER ♪
♪ OR THE SHINY APPLE ♪
♪ OF ITS EYE, ♪
♪ I GOTTA TRY ONCE. ♪
♪ I GOTTA FLY ONCE. ♪
♪ ONLY CAN DIE ONCE, ♪
♪ RIGHT, SIR? ♪
♪ OOH, LIFE IS JUICY-- ♪
♪ JUICY, AND, YOU SEE, ♪
♪ I GOTTA HAVE ♪
♪ MY BITE, SIR. ♪
♪ GET READY, FOR ME, WORLD, ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I'M A COMER. ♪
♪ I'VE SIMPLY GOTTA MARCH. ♪
♪ MY HEART'S A DRUMMER. ♪
♪ DON'T BRING AROUND A CLOUD ♪
♪ TO RAIN ON MY PARADE. ♪
♪ I'M GONNA LIVE ♪
♪ AND LIVE NOW, ♪
♪ GET WHAT I WANT. ♪
♪ I KNOW HOW. ♪
♪ ONE ROLL ♪
♪ FOR THE WHOLE SHEBANG. ♪
♪ ONE THROW, ♪
♪ THAT BELL WILL GO CLANG. ♪
♪ EYE ON THE TARGET ♪
♪ AND WHAM! ♪
♪ ONE SHOT, ONE GUNSHOT ♪
♪ AND BAM! ♪
♪ HEY, MR. GAITHER, ♪
♪ HERE I AM. ♪
♪ I'LL MARCH MY BAND. ♪
>> ♪ I'LL MARCH MY BAND. ♪
>> Mark: ♪ I'LL BEAT MY DRUM. ♪
>> ♪ I'LL BEAT MY DRUM. ♪
>> Mark: ♪ AND IF I'M ♪
♪ FANNED OUT, ♪
♪ YOUR TURN AT BAT, SIR. ♪
♪ AT LEAST I DIDN'T FAKE IT. ♪
♪ HAT, SIR? ♪
♪ I GUESS I DIDN'T MAKE IT. ♪
♪ GET READY, FOR ME, WORLD, ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I'M A COMER. ♪
♪ I'VE SIMPLY GOTTA MARCH. ♪
♪ MY HEART'S A DRUMMER. ♪
♪ NOBODY, NO, NOBODY ♪
♪ IS GONNA RAIN ON MY ♪
♪ PARADE. ♪ ♪
[cheers and applause]
WE'RE ON BROADWAY!
IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE ALL OF YOU.
SO NICE TO BE UP HERE WITHOUT
BILL GAITHER UP HERE GETTING IN
MY WAY.
[laughter]
YOU KNOW, THIS IS EXCITING FOR
US TO BE ON BROADWAY.
I MEAN, I'VE BEEN TO BROADWAY,
BUT I'VE NEVER BEEN ON BROADWAY
BEFORE.
AND I'VE BEEN TO THE GRAND OLE
OPRY, AND THAT'S EXCITING TOO.
IN FACT, TRAVELING WITH BILL
GAITHER, IT'S NICE TO NOT HAVE
HIM UP HERE, BECAUSE I-I'VE
TRAVELED WITH HIM FOR 13 YEARS
NOW, AND IT'S--
YOU KNOW, HE'S GOT A.D.D. WORSE
THAN I DO.
THAT'S THE ONE THING I'VE
LEARNED ABOUT HIM.
HE'S GOT IT
THAT'S WHY HIS HAIR IS SO FRIZZY
I THINK, THOUGH.
BUT WHEN WE WERE AT THE GRAND
OLE OPRY THE VERY FIRST TIME,
LIKE THIS IS OUR FIRST TIME TO
BROADWAY, THE VOCAL BAND WAS
BACKSTAGE AT THE OPRY, AND WE
WERE ALL NERVOUS, EXCEPT FOR
BILL, 'CAUSE HE'S--YOU KNOW,
HE'S BEEN AROUND SINCE
METHUSELAH.
[laughter]
AND HE'S DONE ABOUT EVERYTHING.
ALL DAY LONG, ALL BILL GAITHER
COULD TALK ABOUT WAS HOW HE
WANTED TO SEE THIS WAL-MART
COMMERCIAL.
THAT'S ALL HE COULD TALK ABOUT.
AND SO THEY PUT A TV BACKSTAGE
IN THE DRESSING ROOM JUST FOR
HIM SO HE COULD KEEP HIS EYE OUT
FOR THIS WAL-MART COMMERCIAL ALL
DAY LONG.
AND I SAID, "BILL, YOU'LL GET TO
SEE THE WAL-MART COMMERCIAL
SOME OTHER TIME.
WE'RE AT THE GRAND OLE OPRY."
THEY HAD THAT TV BACK THERE, AND
HE KEPT ONE GOOD EYE ON IT ALL
DAY.
AND WE WENT OUT AND SANG, AND HE
CAME BACK OUT AFTER WE SANG, AND
WE WERE, YOU KNOW, CHANGING
CLOTHES, GETTING READY TO GO
AND BILL SAID, "YOU KNOW WHAT WE
NEED
WE NEED TO PRAY," 'CAUSE WE JUST
GOT DAVID PHELPS, OUR NEW TENOR,
AND WE WERE ALL EXCITED ABOUT
THAT.
AND WE WERE BACKSTAGE, AND WE
PUT OUR ARMS AROUND EACH OTHER
AND STARTED PRAYING, YOU KNOW?
BILL STARTED LEADING THE PRAYER,
YOU KNOW, AND HE STARTED CRYING,
'CAUSE HE CRIES AT EVERYTHING.
[laughter]
I MEAN, HE'LL BE ON THE BUS
WATCHING THOSE VIDEOS OF HIS,
AND HE'LL CRY AT THE SAME SPOT
HE CRIED AT ON THE VIDEO.
I ASKED HIM, LIKE, "HAVEN'T YOU
SEEN THIS?"
BUT WE WERE IN A HOLY HUDDLE,
YOU KNOW, AND HE STARTED CRYING
AND PRAYING.
AND DON'T TELL ME GOD DOESN'T
HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR,
'CAUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT
PRAYER THAT WAL-MART COMMERCIAL
CAME ON TV.
AND BILL'S SHOULDERS FROZE UP,
AND HE STARTED SHAKING.
I HAD MY ARM AROUND HIM, AND HE
STARTS SHAKING.
AND I REMEMBER THINKING,
"HEAVEN, WE GOT A PROBLEM."
HE STARTED STUTTERING, GOING
[stuttering]
"GOD BLESS YOU, BYE-BYE."
BILL GAITHER TOLD GOD TO BLESS
HIMSELF.
BILL GAITHER HUNG UP ON GOD FOR
A WAL-MART COMMERCIAL.
BUT BILL--
[applause]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> WELL, I'M--YOU WERE DYING OUT
HERE.
>> Mark: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> I'M OUT HERE TO HELP YOU GET
THIS THING GOI
>> Mark: BILL, THIS IS NOT YOUR
NIGHT.
>> I--
>> Mark: THIS IS MARK LOWRY ON
BROADWAY.
>> WELL, I--IT'S A WONDERFUL
CROWD AND EVERYTHING--
>> Mark: IT'S A BEAUTIFUL CROWD.
>> BUT IT WAS REALLY SLOW.
I MEAN, I--I MEAN--I MEAN, I-I--
>> Mark: THIS IS NOT YOUR NIGHT.
YOU'VE ALREADY MADE 136 VIDEOS
THIS YEAR.
THIS IS MY CHANCE TO MAKE ONE
VIDEO, 'CAUSE, BILL, TONIGHT ON
THIS STAGE THERE'S ONLY ROOM
FOR--
♪ ONE SINGULAR SENSATION. ♪
♪ SORRY, BILL, ♪
♪ BUT THAT'S THE BREAKS. ♪
>> YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN
TROUBLE, MARK, I TELL YOU--
>> Mark: ♪ ONE ♪
♪ THRILLING COMBINATION, ♪
♪ NOT NOT ONE HAIR IS A FAKE. ♪
>> DON'T START ON MY HAIR, NOW,
MARK.
>> Mark: ♪ ONE LAUGH, ♪
♪ AND SUDDENLY, ♪
♪ NOBODY ELSE WILL DO. ♪
♪ LIFE WILL NEVER BE BORING ♪
♪ WITH YOU KNOW WHO. ♪
♪ ONE. ♪
♪ THAT'S ALL ♪
♪ THERE IS ROOM FOR. ♪
♪ YOU'LL BE SITTING ♪
♪ THIS ONE OUT. ♪
♪ I AM WHAT THIS SHOW ♪
♪ IS ALL ABOUT. ♪
♪ DO I REALLY HAVE TO MENTION ♪
♪ IT'S TIME FOR YOU ♪
♪ TO DRAW A PENSION? ♪
♪ WHERE'S THE GUARD? ♪
♪ HE SAID I'D NEVER ♪
♪ MAKE IT HERE ON BROADWAY. ♪
>> ♪ ON BROADWAY. ♪
>> Mark: ♪ HE SAID THAT ♪
♪ HE WOULD GET HERE ♪
♪ BEFORE ME. ♪
>> ♪ ON BROADWAY. ♪
>> Mark: ♪ BUT BILL WAS WRONG. ♪
♪ I KNEW HE'D BE, ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I'M UP HERE, ♪
♪ AND WHERE IS HE? ♪
♪ HE'S PROBABLY VIDEOING ME ♪
♪ ON BROADWAY. ♪
>> ♪ ON BROADWAY. ♪
>> Mark: ♪ ON BROADWAY. ♪
>> ♪ ON BROADWAY. ♪
>> Mark: ♪ I CANNOT DANCE ♪
♪ TONIGHT ♪
♪ OR ANY OTHER NIGHT, BECAUSE ♪
♪ I'M SOUTHERN BAPTIST. ♪
♪ I CANNOT BUST A GROOVE. ♪
>> [disco call]
>> Mark: ♪ THERE'S LITTLE ♪
♪ I CAN MOVE, BECAUSE ♪
♪ I'M SOUTHERN BAPTIST. ♪
>> ♪ OOH, CAN'T ♪
♪ GROOVE TONIGHT. ♪
>> Mark: ♪ I CAN'T SWING, ♪
♪ SHAKE ANYTHING, OR TANGO. ♪
♪ CAN'T ROCK AND ROLL ♪
♪ OR TWIST AND SHOUT. ♪
>> ♪ NO SWAYING WITH ♪
♪ THE BAND. ♪
♪ CAN'T GO DISNEYLAND. ♪
♪ I CANNOT DANCE, DANCE, DANCE ♪
♪ TONIGHT. ♪ ♪
[applause]
>> Mark: I'D LIKE TO DEDICATE
THIS EVENING TO ONE VERY SPECIAL
PERSON.
IF IT WASN'T FOR HER, I WOULDN'T
BE HERE AT ALL.
♪ I BROUGHT HOME NOTES ♪
♪ FROM SCHOOL EVERYDAY, MOM. ♪
♪ MY A.D.D.'S WHAT TURNED ♪
♪ YOUR HAIR GRAY, MOM. ♪
♪ YOU DOUBLED UP MY RITALIN, ♪
♪ BUT IT ONLY ENERGIZED ♪
♪ MY BRAIN. ♪
♪ YOU TRIED TO GET ♪
♪ ME COUNSELING, ♪
♪ BUT I DROVE ♪
♪ THE COUNSELORS INSANE. ♪
♪ I'VE GIVEN YOU SO MUCH ♪
♪ THROUGH THE YEARS. ♪
>> ♪ MOM. ♪
>> Mark: ♪ MIGRAINES, HEART ♪
♪ BURN, AND QUITE A FEW TEARS. ♪
>> ♪ MOM. ♪
>> Mark: ♪ NOW THAT ♪
♪ YOU'RE GETTING THERAPY, ♪
♪ TAKING PROZAC ♪
♪ ONCE OR TWICE A DAY, ♪
♪ I KNOW THAT YOUR ♪
♪ LAST NERVE IS SHOT. ♪
♪ I'M SORRY FOR THAT TWITCH ♪
♪ YOU GOT. ♪
♪ IT'S BEEN A BALL, ♪
♪ SO THANKS A LOT, MOM. ♪
♪ YOUR SLEEPLESS NIGHTS ♪
♪ ARE ALL IN THE PAST. ♪
>> ♪ MOM. ♪
>> Mark: ♪ IT'S SAFE TO USE ♪
♪ YOUR REAL NAME AT LAST. ♪
>> ♪ MOM. ♪
>> Mark: ♪ I KNOW ♪
♪ I DROVE YOU CRAZY, ♪
♪ BUT I DON'T THINK ♪
♪ YOU EVER ONCE COMPLAINED. ♪
WELL, MAYBE ONCE.
♪ I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU STOOD ♪
♪ THE TEST. ♪
♪ YOUR FRAZZLED NERVES ♪
♪ DESERVE A REST. ♪
♪ YOUR NURSING HOME ♪
♪ WILL BE THE BEST, MOM. ♪
♪ I REALLY MEAN IT. ♪
♪ YOUR NURSING HOME ♪
♪ WILL BE THE BEST, MOM. ♪
>> ♪ MAMA, AIN'T YOU GLAD ♪
♪ TO KNOW YOUR BOY'S ♪
♪ DONE GOOD? ♪
>> Mark: ♪ YEAH. ♪ ♪
MAMA!
[applause]
DOESN'T SHE LOOK PRETTY?
[cheering]
SHE'S GOT GLITTER ON HER
EYEBROWS AND EVERYTHING.
SHE'S HIP.
I'VE MADE A CAREER OUT OF
TALKING ABOUT THIS WOMAN--
THE SCREAMING OVER THE SINK,
ALL THOSE DIFFERENT STORIES I'VE
TOLD.
WHEN WE COME TO BROADWAY,
I SAID, "MOM, I WANT YOU TO SING
WI
IN FACT, I WANT US TO DO THAT
SONG THAT YOU WROTE, THAT SONG
THAT THE CATHEDRALS SANG.
AND YOU GET TO SING THE LEAD ON
YOU ALL READY TO HEAR MAMA SING
A SONG?
[cheering]
>> ♪ ONE DAY I CAME TO HIM. ♪
♪ I WAS SO THIRSTY. ♪
♪ I ASKED FOR WATER. ♪
♪ MY THROAT WAS SO DRY. ♪
♪ HE GAVE ME WATER THAT ♪
♪ I HAD NEVER DREAMED OF. ♪
♪ BUT FOR THIS WATER, ♪
♪ MY LORD HAD TO DIE. ♪
>> ♪ HE SAID, "I THIRST," ♪
♪ YET HE MADE THE RIVER. ♪
♪ HE SAID, "I THIRST," ♪
♪ YET HE MADE THE SEA. ♪
♪ "I THIRST," SAID THE KING ♪
♪ OF THE AGES. ♪
♪ IN HIS GREAT THIRST, ♪
♪ HE BROUGHT WATER TO ME. ♪
>> ♪ NOW, THERE'S A RIVER ♪
♪ THAT FLOWS ♪
♪ AS CLEAR AS CRYSTAL. ♪
♪ IT COMES FROM ♪
♪ GOD'S THRONE ABOVE. ♪
♪ AND LIKE A RIVER, ♪
♪ IT WELLS UP INSIDE ME ♪
♪ BRINGING MERCY ♪
♪ AND LIFE-GIVING LOVE. ♪
>> ♪ HE SAID, "I THIRST," ♪
♪ YET HE MADE THE RIVER. ♪
♪ HE SAID, "I THIRST," ♪
♪ YET HE MADE THE SEA. ♪
♪ "I THIRST," SAID THE KING ♪
♪ OF THE AGES. ♪
♪ IN HIS GREAT THIRST, ♪
♪ HE BROUGHT WATER TO ME. ♪
♪ IN HIS GREAT THIRST, ♪
♪ HE BROUGHT WATER TO ME. ♪
[applause]
>> Mark: MAMA, I WANT YOU TO
INTRODUCE THIS NEXT GROUP IF YOU
WOULD, OKAY?
>> OH, I'D BE HAPPY TO.
THE MARK LOWRY VOCAL BAND.
>> Mark: NO, MAMA, NO, NO, NO.
[laughter]
IT'S THE GAITHER VOCAL--
BILL GAITHER VOCAL BAND.
>> WELL, I LIKE THIS BETTER.
>> Mark: THE GAITHER VOCAL BAND.
[applause]
OW!
♪ WELL, I'VE BEEN TOLD ♪
♪ I GOT A TENDENCY ♪
♪ TO LOOK AT THINGS ♪
♪ ON THE DARK SIDE. ♪
♪ THAT GLASS HAS ALWAYS BEEN ♪
♪ HALF EMPTY TO ME. ♪
♪ BUT SINCE ♪
♪ YOU'VE BEEN AROUND, ♪
♪ IT'S GETTING HARDER FOR ME ♪
♪ TO KEEP MY SPIRITS DOWN. ♪
♪ THIS WAKING UP ♪
♪ WITH A SMILE ♪
♪ IS SURE NEW TO ME. ♪
♪ OH, YOU KNOW-- ♪
>> ♪ I COULD GET USED TO THIS ♪
♪ BEIN' HAPPY. ♪
♪ I COULD GET USED TO ♪
♪ A BRIGHTER DAY. ♪
♪ IF I'M DREAMING, ♪
♪ DON'T ANYBODY SLAP ME. ♪
♪ I COULD GET USED TO ♪
♪ LIVING THIS WAY. ♪
♪ COULD SURE GET USED TO ♪
♪ LIVING THIS WAY. ♪
>> Mark: OW!
[harmonica music]
♪ I SPENT ALL MY LIFE ♪
♪ LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER, ♪
♪ RUNNING SMACK DAB ♪
♪ INTO HARD TIMES. ♪
♪ TEACHERS SAID IT SEEMED LIKE ♪
♪ BAD LUCK'S FOLLOWED ME. ♪
♪ BUT YOU SURE BROKE ♪
♪ THAT SPELL, ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I'M DRESSING BETTER. ♪
♪ I'M EATING WELL. ♪
♪ AND MY OLD FRIENDS ♪
♪ AIN'T BELIEVING ♪
♪ WHAT THEY SEE. ♪
OH, YOU KNOW--
>> ♪ I COULD GET USED ♪
♪ TO THIS BEIN' HAPPY. ♪
♪ I COULD GET USED ♪
♪ TO A BRIGHTER DAY. ♪
♪ IF I'M DREAMING, ♪
♪ DON'T ANYBODY SLAP ME. ♪
♪ I COULD GET USED TO ♪
♪ LIVING THIS WAY. ♪
>> Mark: ♪ Y'ALL STOP ME ♪
♪ IF I GET CARRIED AWAY. ♪
♪ OH, STOP ME ♪
♪ IF I START SAYING, ♪
♪ "HAVE A NICE DAY." ♪
WHOO!
>> ♪ I COULD GET USED TO THIS ♪
♪ BEIN' HAPPY. ♪
♪ I COULD GET USED TO ♪
♪ A BRIGHTER DAY. ♪
♪ IF I'M DREAMING, ♪
♪ DON'T ANYBODY SLAP ME. ♪
♪ I COULD GET USED TO ♪
♪ LIVING THIS WAY. ♪
♪ I COULD GET USED TO THIS ♪
♪ BEIN' HAPPY. ♪
♪ I COULD GET USED TO ♪
♪ A BRIGHTER DAY. ♪
♪ SO IF I'M DREAMING, ♪
♪ DON'T ANYBODY SLAP ME. ♪
♪ I COULD GET USED TO ♪
♪ LIVING THIS WAY. ♪
♪ COULD SURE GET USED TO ♪
♪ TO LIVING THIS WAY. ♪ ♪
>> Mark: ♪ OH, NEW YORK CITY, ♪
♪ I LIKE FEELIN' ♪
♪ I LIKE BEIN' ♪
♪ I'M HAPPY! ♪ ♪
IS EVERYBODY HAPPY TONIGHT?
[cheering]
THE GAITHER VOCAL BAND.
THANK YOU, GUYS.
WE DON'T WANT 'EM OUT HERE TOO
MUCH.
[laughter]
THEY WEAR ME OUT.
OH, I'M GETTING OLD.
I'M 41 NOW.
AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S HARD TO BE
HYPERACTIVE WHEN YOU'RE 41.
THINGS JUST START FALLING APART.
THE BRAIN IS STILL DOING BACK
FLIPS, BUT THE BODY IS TIRED.
AND ALSO, YOUR BODY CHANGES.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU NOTICED
THIS.
BUT WHEN I GET UP IN THE
MORNING, I LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE
MIRROR, AND, LIKE, THE HAIR IS
RECEDING, AND IT'S GOING TO THE
BACK OF MY NECK.
AND IT'S SPROUTING IN OTHER
PLACES.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT.
YOU KNOW, NOT ONLY DO YOU LOSE
HAIR UP HERE AS YOU GET OLDER,
MEN; YOUR EYEBROWS GET THINNER.
HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT?
THEY GET THINNER EXCEPT FOR
THOSE, LIKE, APPENDAGES THAT
GROW LIKE CAT WHISKERS.
AND THEY MULTIPLY.
YOU CAN PLUCK ONE AT NIGHT.
AND IN THE MORNING, THERE'LL
BE A FAMILY OF FIVE.
AND I HAVE FRIENDS WHO'VE LOST
HAIR UP TOP, AND THEY WEAR HAIR
HATS AND COMB-OVERS.
AND THEY THINK NO ONE NOTICES.
BUT WHAT I'M GOING TO DO AS I
GROW BALD ONE DAY, I'M JUST
GOING TO LET THE EYEBROWS GROW
AND--
[laughter]
NOT ONLY DO YOU GROW WEIRD HAIR
OUT OF YOUR EYEBROWS, BUT I KNOW
WHY OLD PEOPLE GET UP EARLIER.
I'M GETTING UP EARLIER THESE
DAYS.
IT'S THE HAIR IN YOUR EARS.
IT SCRATCHES THE PILLOW AS
YOU'RE SLEEPING AND WAKES YOU
UP.
I MEAN--AND THOSE ARE THICK.
I USE AN ELECTRIC RAZOR ON MINE,
IT'S LIKE A CHAINSAW RUNNING
THROUGH THERE.
AND THEN, OF COURSE, THERE'S,
YOU KNOW, THE NOSE HAIR.
WHEN YOU'RE 30, YOU GET YOUR
FIRST NOSE HAIR, FOR THOSE OF
YOU WHO AREN'T 30 YET.
YOU YOUNG MEN WILL GET THAT.
AND AT FIRST, IT'S JUST A YOUNG
BRANCHLING.
IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
YOU PLUCK IT AND KEEP MOVING.
BUT YOU HIT 40, THOSE ARE TREE
TRUNKS HANGING OUT YOUR NOSE.
AND EVERY NERVE IN YOUR BODY IS
CONNECTED TO THEM.
YOU PULL ON ONE OF THOSE, YOUR
LEG'LL JERK.
AND THEY'LL MAKE YOU CRY LIKE
YOU'RE WATCHING A GAITHER VIDEO.
I PLUCKED ONE THE OTHER DAY.
I CRIED LIKE TAMMY FAYE
AT A YARD SALE.
BUT THESE NEXT YOUNG ARTISTS
THAT I'M GOING TO INTRODUCE--
A YOUNG MAN NAMED *** WRIGHT,
WHO LIVES IN NASHVILLE--HE'S A
PRODUCER.
HE CALLED ME, AND HE SAID,
"MARK, I HAVE JUST DONE A CUSTOM
ALBUM FOR A COUPLE OF GIRLS,
ANNIE AND KELLY McRAE, FROM
MISSISSIPPI.
HE SAID, "YOU'VE GOT TO HEAR
THEM."
SO I WENT AND HEARD THE CD, AND
I WAS BLOWN AWAY BY IT.
JUST KIDS, I MEAN, SISTERS--
JUST, YOU KNOW, ONE'S 17 TODAY,
AND THE YOUNGEST ONE IS 14.
THIS IS THEIR FIRST TIME EVER IN
NEW YORK, AND I KNOW YOU'LL MAKE
THEM WELCOME.
WOULD YOU WELCOME MY NEW
FRIENDS, ANNIE AND KELLY McRAE?
[applause]
[guitar music]
♪ ♪
>> ♪ WALK ON THE WATER. ♪
♪ WALK ON THE RAGING SEA. ♪
♪ SWEET JESUS, WHILE YOU'RE ♪
♪ WALKING ON THE WATER, ♪
♪ WON'T YOU WALK ON ♪
♪ OUT TO ME? ♪
♪ WALK ON THE WATER. ♪
♪ WALK ON THE RAGING SEA. ♪
♪ SWEET JESUS, WHILE YOU'RE ♪
♪ WALKING ON THE WATER, ♪
♪ WON'T YOU WALK ON ♪
♪ OUT TO ME? ♪
>> ♪ OH, LORD, THERE NEVER WAS ♪
♪ A SOUL WHO NEEDED YOU ♪
♪ LIKE I NEED YOU TODAY, ♪
♪ 'CAUSE MY STRENGTH IS GONE, ♪
♪ AND MY HEART IS SORE. ♪
♪ WON'T YOU TAKE ME ♪
♪ BY THE HAND-- ♪
>> ♪ AND WALK ON THE WATER, ♪
♪ AND WALK ON THE RAGING SEA? ♪
♪ SWEET JESUS, WHILE YOU'RE ♪
♪ WALKING ON THE WATER, ♪
♪ WON'T YOU WALK ON ♪
♪ OUT TO ME? ♪
>> ♪ OH, CAN'T YOU SEE ♪
♪ I'M USING EVERY BIT ♪
♪ OF MY STRENGTH ♪
♪ AND WEAKNESS ♪
♪ JUST TO STAND? ♪
♪ WON'T YOU WALK ON OUT ♪
♪ A LITTLE FURTHER, ♪
♪ PLEASE, JESUS, ♪
♪ AND TAKE ME BY THE HAND-- ♪
>> ♪ AND WALK ON THE WATER? ♪
♪ AND WALK ON THE RAGING SEA. ♪
♪ SWEET JESUS, WHILE YOU'RE ♪
♪ WALKING ON THE WATER, ♪
♪ WON'T YOU WALK ON ♪
♪ OUT TO ME? ♪
♪ WALK ON THE WATER, AND WALK ♪
♪ ON THE RAGING SEA. ♪
♪ SWEET JESUS, WHILE YOU'RE ♪
♪ WALKING ON THE WATER, ♪
♪ WON'T YOU WALK ON ♪
♪ OUT TO ME? ♪
♪ SWEET JESUS, WHILE YOU'RE ♪
♪ WALKING ON THE WATER, ♪
♪ WON'T YOU WALK ♪
♪ ON OUT TO ME? ♪
♪ AND WALK ON THE WATER. ♪ ♪
[applause]
>> Mark: YOU KNOW, BILL GAITHER
HELPED ME GET MY START, AND I'M
JUST SO EXCITED TO GET TO HELP
ANNIE AND KELLY.
THEY'LL BE TRAVELING WITH ME ALL
THIS YEAR EVERYWHERE I GO.
I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS FIRST
GETTING STARTED TRAVELING AND
SINGING.
I NEVER DREAMED ONE DAY I'D BE
♪ ON BROADWAY. ♪ ♪
I SANG IN INDEPENDENT,
FUNDAMENTAL BAPTIST CHURCHES.
THAT'S WHAT I WAS RAISED IN, AND
THAT'S ALL THAT KNEW ME:
INDEPENDENT, FUNDAMENTAL,
BIBLE-BELIEVING, BIBLE-BANGING,
FOOT-STOMPING, SOUL-WINNING,
DOOR-KNOCKING, PEW-JUMPING,
DEVIL-CHASING, SIN-HATING,
KING JAMES VERSION-ONLY
BAPTISTS!
[laughter]
AND I'M HAPPY ABOUT IT.
OUR PREACHERS AREN'T ALWAYS
RIGHT, BUT THEY'RE NEVER IN
DOUBT.
AND MANY OF THOSE CHURCHES WERE
ABOUT AS BIG AS THAT FIRST PEW
RIGHT THERE.
AND I TRAVELED EVERYWHERE BY
MYSELF, MY LITTLE CAR, MY LITTLE
SOUNDTRACKS I'D BOUGHT DOWN AT
THE CHRISTIAN BOOKSTORE.
AND I WOULD GO THERE AND, YOU
KNOW, GET THERE EARLY AND MEET
WITH THE SOUND MAN.
AND, OF COURSE, THOSE LITTLE
CHURCHES, THEY'D ALWAYS HAVE
SOME GUY OUT THERE, YOU KNOW,
RUNNING THE SOUND WHO'S ABOUT
TEN YEARS OLDER THAN GOD.
[laughter]
AND HE'D BE CHANGING THOSE
SOUNDTRA
AND YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE
WHEN YOU'VE GOT HUNDREDS OF
PEOPLE STARING AT YOU BETWEEN
SONGS, HOW THOSE FEW SECONDS CAN
FEEL LIKE AN ETERNITY?
SO FINALLY I JUST STARTED TAKING
MY OWN SOUND SYSTEM.
I CARRIED IT IN THE TRUNK OF MY
CAR, AND I WOULD DRIVE ABOUT
EVERY 200 MILES, I'D STOP AT
ANOTHER INDEPENDENT BAPTIST
CHURCH AND SING.
AND THESE PEOPLE WOULDN'T CLAP,
BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE GIVING
GLORY TO MEN.
AND THEY WOULDN'T SHOUT, BECAUSE
THEY'RE AFRAID SOMEONE MIGHT
THINK THEY WERE DOING IT IN
ANOTHER LANGUAGE.
BUT THEY WOULD LAUGH.
AND ALL I CARED ABOUT IS, "ARE
THEY LISTENING?
ARE THEY PAYING ATTENTION?"
AND I WOULD TELL MY LITTLE
STORIES, AND I'D TRY TO FIND
SONGS THAT WENT WITH THEM,
'CAUSE I GOT SO TIRED.
I GOT SO TIRED WHEN I WAS
GROWING UP AND HEARING PEOPLE
COME TO OUR CHURCH AND SAY,
"THIS NEXT SONG SAYS, AMAZING
GRACE.
HOW SWEET THE SOUND
THAT SAVED A WRETCH LIKE ME."
AND THEN THEY'D SING,
"♪ AMAZING GRACE. ♪
♪ HOW SWEET-- ♪ ♪"
I WAS HYPERACTIVE.
I THOUGHT, "SING IT, OR QUOTE
WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT TWICE."
[laughter]
SO I JUST STARTED TELLING, "WHAT
AMAZING GRACE MEANT TO ME WAS
AMAZING GRACE THAT I MADE IT
THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD."
AND I WOULD SING ON THOSE SUNDAY
MORNING SERVICES, YOU KNOW,
AND--ABOUT 20 MINUTES.
AND THEN THE PREACHER ALWAYS
PREACHED, BECAUSE NOTHING
HAPPENS IN A BAPTIST CHURCH
UNTIL THE PREACHER PREACHES.
AND HE WOULD PREACH, YOU KNOW,
AN HOUR, HOUR AND A HALF.
AND IF HE'D HAVE STUDIED, HE
COULD HAVE DONE IT IN 20
MINUTES, BUT--
[laughter]
HE WOULD PREACH.
AND YOU KNOW HOW IT IS ON SUNDAY
MORNING, YOU KNOW?
YOU'VE SUNG YOUR BIT, AND YOU
SIT DOWN AND HE STARTS
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, YOUR
STOMACH STARTS GNAWING ON YOUR
BACKBONE AND YOU'RE SCARED TO
DEATH THE METHODISTS ARE GOING
TO BEAT YOU TO THE CAFETERIA.
AND FINALLY, HE SAYS, "EVERY
HEAD BOWED, EVERY EYE CLOSED."
AND YOU THINK, "OH, THE
CAFETERIA'S IN SIGHT."
AFTER 45 VERSES
OF JUST AS I AM,
HE FINALLY SAYS, "AMEN."
AND YOU THINK IT'S OVER,
DON'T YOU?
NO, IT'S NOT.
HE SAYS, "NOW BE SEATED.
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE
THE LORD'S SUPPER."
I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY CALL IT
THE LORD'S SUPPER.
YOU NEVER GET ENOUGH.
THEY SHOULD CALL IT THE LORD'S
SNACK.
HAVEN'T YOU EVER WANTED--WHEN
THAT PLATE OF CRACKERS GOES BY--
TO GRAB YOU A HANDFUL OF 'EM?
GET YOU SOME CHEEZ *** AND
CELEBRATE!
CELEBRATE!
HE'S NOT DEAD ANYMORE.
IT'S TIME TO EAT.
KICK THE LID OFF THAT TOMB.
COME OUT, AND LET'S GO EAT.
BUT I USED TO GO TO THOSE
CONCERTS AND HAD A GREAT TIME.
SLEPT ON PREACHERS' COUCHES, AND
THEN I WOULD GO TO CONCERTS LIKE
THIS AND SEE SANDI PATTY AND THE
GAITHER VOCAL BAND AND PEOPLE
THAT I IDOLIZED, I MEAN, AS A
YOUNG KID.
I WOULD JUST LOOK UP TO 'EM SO
MUCH AND THINK, "MAN, I JUST
WISH THEY EVEN KNEW MY NAME."
AND I DIDN'T THINK THAT I'D EVER
GET TO SING WITH ANY OF THEM.
YOU KNOW, I WOULD HEAR MANY OF
THEM TALK, AND I KNEW I COULD
OUTTALK 'EM, BUT KNEW I COULDN'T
OUTSING 'EM.
[laughter]
MAN, ONE OF MY HEROES IS HERE
TONIGHT--MY FAVORITE SINGERS IN
THE WORLD.
AND SINCE THIS IS MY NIGHT,
THIS IS MARK LOWRY ON BROADWAY,
I'M GOING TO SING NOW WITH ONE
OF MY FAVORITE SINGERS IN THE
WORLD: SANDI PATTY!
[cheering]
YOU KNOW, THIS IS MY NIGHT,
>> YOU'VE MADE THAT REALLY
>> Mark: AND, YOU KNOW, I'M NOT
THROUGH YET, EITHER.
I'VE GOT ANOTHER FAVORITE SINGER
HERE TONIGHT.
>> YEAH?
>> Mark: YEAH.
DAVID PHELPS.
>> OH, HE'S FABULOUS.
>> Mark: I WAS JUST WONDERING.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOU AND
ME AND DAVID MAYBE DOING A TRIO?
WHAT DO Y'ALL THINK OF THAT?
>> YOU AND ME AND DAVID?
>> Mark: WOULDN'T THAT BE A
GREAT IDEA?
[che
DAVID, COME OUT HERE!
>> YOU AND ME AND DAVID DOING
A TRIO?
>> Mark: YOU, ME, AND DAVID.
NOW, WE'VE REHEARSED THIS.
OH, DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T
KNOW WHAT--
>> [coughing]
>> Mark: WE WENT OVER THIS FIVE
HOURS TODAY.
>> COULD I GET A LITTLE WATER?
>> WATER WOULD BE GOOD.
>> Mark: WATER?
COULD WE GET SOME WATER, PEOPLE?
PEOPLE?
>> RIGHT NOW.
I NEED SOME WATE
>> Mark: WHERE ARE MY PEOPLE?
PEOPLE?
>> NOW.
>> Mark: OKAY, I'LL--
OKAY, Y'ALL DON'T MOVE.
>> Mark: DON'T DO A THING.
I'LL GO GET THE WATER.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> ALL RIGHT. THANKS.
>> Mark: WE NEED WATER BACK
HERE.
>> OKAY, MAESTRO.
[dramatic instrumental music]
♪ ♪
>> ♪ I CAN SHOW YOU THE WORLD, ♪
♪ SHINING, SHIMMERING, ♪
♪ SPLENDID. ♪
♪ TELL ME, PRINCESS, ♪
♪ NOW, WHEN DID YOU LAST ♪
♪ LET YOUR HEART DECIDE? ♪
♪ I CAN OPEN YOUR EYES, ♪
♪ TAKE YOU WONDER BY WONDER ♪
♪ OVER, SIDEWAYS, AND UNDER ♪
♪ ON A MAGIC CARPET RIDE. ♪
♪ A WHOLE NEW WORLD, ♪
♪ A NEW FANTASTIC ♪
♪ POINT OF VIEW. ♪
♪ NO ONE TO TELL US NO ♪
♪ OR WHERE TO GO ♪
♪ OR SAY ♪
♪ WE'RE ONLY DREAMING. ♪
>> ♪ A WHOLE NEW WORLD, ♪
♪ A DAZZLING PLACE ♪
♪ I NEVER KNEW. ♪
♪ BUT NOW FROM WAY UP HERE, ♪
♪ IT'S CRYSTAL CLEAR. ♪
♪ NOW I'M IN ♪
♪ A WHOLE NEW WORLD WITH YOU. ♪
>> ♪ NOW I'M IN ♪
♪ A WHOLE NEW WORLD WITH YOU. ♪
>> ♪ UNBELIEVABLE SIGHTS, ♪
♪ INDESCRIBABLE FEELINGS. ♪
♪ I'M SOARING, TUMBLING, ♪
♪ FREEWHEELING ♪
♪ THROUGH AN ENDLESS ♪
♪ DIAMOND SKY. ♪
♪ A WHOLE NEW WORLD. ♪
>> ♪ DON'T YOU DARE ♪
♪ CLOSE YOUR EYES. ♪
>> ♪ A HUNDRED THOUSAND ♪
♪ THINGS TO SEE. ♪
>> ♪ HOLD YOUR BREATH. ♪
♪ IT GETS BETTER. ♪
>> ♪ I'M LIKE A SHOOTING STAR. ♪
♪ I'VE COME SO FAR. ♪
>> ♪ I CAN'T GO BACK ♪
♪ TO WHERE I USED TO BE. ♪
>> ♪ A WHOLE NEW WORLD. ♪
>> ♪ EVERY TURN A SURPRISE. ♪
>> ♪ WITH NEW HORIZONS ♪
♪ TO PURSUE. ♪
>> ♪ I'LL CHASE THEM ANYWHERE. ♪
♪ THERE'S TIME TO SPARE. ♪
>> ♪ OH, LET ME SHARE THIS ♪
♪ WHOLE NEW WORLD WITH YOU. ♪
>> ♪ A WHOLE NEW WORLD. ♪
♪ A WHOLE NEW WORLD. ♪
>> ♪ IT'S A WHOLE NEW WORLD. ♪
>> ♪ LET ME SHARE THIS ♪
♪ WHOLE NEW WORLD WITH YOU. ♪
♪ WITH YOU. ♪ ♪
[applause]
>> Mark: I'M BACK.
YOU'RE OKAY.
>> OH, THANKS.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE WERE KIND OF TALKING WHEN YOU
WERE GONE, AND WE'LL DO IT
SOME OTHER TIME.
>> WE'RE KIND OF TIRED.
>> SOME OTHER PLACE, OKAY?
>> SOME OTHER TIME.
>> ALL RIGHT.
LOVE YOUR HAIR.
HOPE YOU WIN.
[laughter]
>> Mark: WHAT ABOUT OUR TRIO?
[audience expressing sympathy]
OH, I KNOW WHAT I CAN DO NOW.
I'LL JUST KILL SOME TIME.
I CREATED THIS LITTLE CHARACTER.
YOU KNOW, THERE'LL BE A LOT OF
KIDS WHO WILL PROBABLY--
HOPEFULLY SEE THIS VIDEO.
AND THERE'S A KID HERE, AND
THERE'S A KID THERE.
I WOKE UP ONE DAY ON THE BUS ON
A DAY OFF THINKING ABOUT THIS
MOUSE NAMED PIPER, THE HYPER
MOUSE.
I JUST WOKE UP THINKING ABOUT
IT.
AND I TOLD THE GUYS.
I SAID, "YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHEN I COME BACK THIS AFTERNOON
TO CATCH THE BUS AGAIN TO GO TO
OUR NEXT CONCERT, I'M GOING TO
HAVE A STORY FOR YOU."
AND THAT'S TURNED INTO SEVERAL
STORIES.
WELL, PIPER WANTED TO BE ON
BROADWAY TOO.
AND THERE'S A BRAND-NEW PIPER
STORY.
I'LL TELL IT TO YOU NOW.
IT'S CALLED PIPER STEALS THE
SHOW.
[circus music]
THE BANNERS WERE POSTED ALL OVER
THE TOWN.
THE CIRCUS WAS COMING WITH
MONKEYS AND CLOWNS AND TIGERS
AND LIONS AND ELEPHANTS TOO.
PIPER HEARD THE TRAIN WHISTLE.
HE KNEW JUST WHAT TO DO.
"CAN WE GO? CAN WE GO?
CAN WE GO?" PIPER SAID.
"CAN WE GO?" HE REPEATED.
BUT HIS MOM SHOOK HER HEAD.
"SON, I'M SO SORRY, BUT THERE'S
JUST NO WAY.
THE CIRCUS COSTS MORE THAN A
FIELD MOUSE CAN PAY."
"THEN MAY I GO AND JUST LOOK AT
THE TENT?"
HIS MOM SAID, "OKAY."
AND SO OFF PIPER WENT, RACING
DOWN SWISS LANE AND UP GOUDA
STREET.
HE WAS MOVING JUST LIKE THERE
WERE JETS ON HIS FEET.
HE ROUNDED A CORNER AND SLID TO
A STOP, FOR THERE RIGHT BEFORE
HIM WAS THE CIRCUS BIG TOP.
HE TRIED TO RESIST, BUT THE PULL
WAS TOO GREAT.
AND HE WONDERED WHO'D SEE HIM IF
HE SLIPPED THROUGH THE GATE.
HE KNEW IT WAS WRONG, BUT HE
JUST HAD TO GO.
"I'M NOT STEALING," HE THOUGHT.
"I'M JUST BORROWING THE SHOW."
THE BLEACHERS WERE FILLED, SO HE
WANDERED BACKSTAGE AND FOUND A
RED STOOL BY THE LION'S BIG
CAGE.
"I'LL JUST BORROW THIS STOOL
TILL THE CIRCUS IS THROUGH, AND
I'LL BORROW THESE STILTS AND THE
BEAR'S TUTU TOO."
THE THINGS PIPER BORROWED, WELL,
WHO COULD KEEP TRACK?
HE WAS TURNING INTO A
CLEPTOMOUSIAC.
[laughter]
PIPER SNICKERED AND SAID, "IT
WON'T HURT ANYONE.
I'LL PUT IT ALL BACK WHEN I'M
DONE WITH MY FUN."
SO HE PUT ON THE TUTU AND
CLIMBED ON THE STOOL THEN DANCED
ON THE STILTS.
HE WAS FEELING SO COOL.
"POPCORN! COTTON CANDY!"
HE HEARD SOMEONE SAY.
SO HE LEAPED FROM THE STILTS,
LANDING RIGHT ON A TRAY.
THROUGH A BIG CLOUD OF PINK, HE
HEARD PEOPLE SCREAMING, "THERE'S
A MOUSE ON THAT TRAY!"
HOW HE WISHED HE WAS DREAMING.
THERE WAS NO PLACE TO HIDE, FOR
THE BEAR WAS NOW ON.
SHE WAS BARE AND QUITE MAD, FOR
HER TUTU WAS GONE.
HER GAZE MET WITH PIPER'S, AND
OFF THAT BEAR WENT, CHASING
PIPER THE MOUSE THROUGH THE
WHOLE CIRCUS TENT.
IT WAS TIME FOR THE LIONS TO
ENTER THE RING.
"WHERE'S MY STOOL?"
YELLED THE TAMER.
"WHO'S BEEN STEALING OUR
THINGS?"
WHILE HE RANTED AND RAVED 'BOUT
THE NERVE OF THE LOUSE,
THE BEAR AND THE LIONS WERE
CHASING THAT MOUSE.
THE CLOWN ENTERED NEXT, DID A
BIT OF A DANCE.
BUT WITHOUT HIS BIG STILTS, HE
JUST TRIPPED ON HIS PANTS.
HE JOINED IN THE CHASE, BUT HE
DIDN'T GET FAR.
IT'S HARD TO GO FAST IN A LITTLE
CLOWN CAR.
THE RINGMASTER TRIED TO REGAIN
SOME CONTROL, BUT THAT HYPER
MOUSE HAD JUST STOLEN THE SHOW.
PIPER RAN FOR THE EXIT.
HE TRIED TO LOOK BACK.
BUT HE SHOULD HAVE LOOKED
STRAIGHT, 'CAUSE HE HEADED RIGHT
SMACK INTO THE LEG OF A
SIX-YEAR-OLD KID WHO'D BEEN
CRYING BECAUSE OF WHAT SOMEONE
DID.
"I WAS HOLDING TWO TICKETS FOR
MY DAD AND FOR ME WHEN SOMEONE
JUST TOOK THEM.
THEY STOLE THEM, YOU SEE?"
PIPER COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
HE WAS SHOCKED.
HE WAS MAD THAT SOMEONE WOULD
STEAL FROM THIS KID AND HIS DAD.
THEN PIPER REMEMBERED THE THINGS
HE HAD DONE.
ALL OF HIS BORROWING WAS NO
LONGER FUN.
YES, PIPER WAS LEARNING A LESSON
THAT DAY.
WHEN YOU TAKE WHAT'S NOT YOURS,
SOMEONE STILL HAS TO PAY.
JUST THEN, SOMEONE CALLED OUT
HIS NAME, OR HE THOUGHT.
"PIPER," HE HEARD.
"PIPER, LOOK WHAT I'VE GOT!"
HE TURNED TO SEE WHO.
AND THERE BY THE GATE WAS HIS
MOM HOLDING TICKETS.
"SON, ISN'T THIS GREAT?
I JUST WON TWO TICKETS TO THE
CIRCUS TODAY."
PIPER JUMPED UP AND DOWN.
"HIP, HIP, HOORAY!"
BUT PIPER COULDN'T GET THAT BOY
FROM HIS MIND, AND HE KNEW GOD
WOULD WANT HIM TO DO SOMETHING
KIND.
SO HE ASKED MOM'S PERMISSION.
SHE NODDED, AND THEN PIPER GAVE
UP HIS TICKETS SO THEY COULD GET
IN.
THE RINGMASTER PRAISED HIM,
THE AUDIENCE CHEERED, AND HIS
MOTHER WAS BEAMING MOUSE EAR TO
MOUSE EAR.
THE CLOWN ON HIS STILTS CARRIED
PIPER AROUND.
THE MAYOR EVEN NAMED HIM THE
MOUSE OF THE TOWN.
PIPER DANCED WITH THE BEAR WHO
NOW HAD HER TUTU AND RODE ON THE
LIONS.
AND WHEN HE WAS THROUGH, THEY
ASKED HIM TO SPEAK.
PIPER SAID, "NOW I KNOW THAT
THIS IS THE WAY A MOUSE SHOULD
STEAL THE SHOW."
[applause]
>> SO YOU SEE, MR. LOWRY, THAT'S
YOUR PROBLEM.
IT'S YOUR DIET.
IT'S NOT VERY HEALTHY.
>> Mark: WELL, I EAT MY
VEGETABLES.
I EAT FRIED ZUCCHINI, FRIED
CORN, DEEP-FRIED OKRA.
>> IS EVERYTHING YOU EAT FRIED?
>> Mark: IS THERE ANOTHER WAY TO
COOK IT?
>> MR. LOWRY, YOUR CHOLESTEROL
IS OVER 300.
>> Mark: BUT THAT'S THE GOOD
CHOLESTEROL, RIGHT?
>> YOUR GOOD CHOLESTEROL IS 3.
>> Mark: MMM.
>> NOW, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE
MY ADVICE, MR. LOWRY, BUT A
CHOLESTEROL LEVEL OVER 300 IS
UNACCEPTABLE.
FAT IS NOT A FOOD GROUP, YOU
AND NOW I'D LIKE TO START YOU ON
A STRICT DIET AND EXERCISE
PROGRAM FOR YOU TO CUT DOWN YOUR
FOOD INTAKE TO 800 CALORIES PER
DAY, GET A GOOD AEROBIC WORKOUT
AT LEAST ONE HOUR EVERY MORNING,
AND IN THE EVENING...
[tires screeching]
[upbeat salsa music]
♪ ♪
>> Mark: ♪ DON'T CARE ♪
♪ ABOUT NUTRITION. ♪
♪ MY VEINS DON'T FLOW AT ALL. ♪
♪ I FEEL A PREMONITION. ♪
♪ MY HEART IS ABOUT TO STALL. ♪
♪ I'M INTO NEW SENSATIONS, ♪
♪ FRENCH FRIES BY CANDLELIGHT. ♪
♪ I'VE GOT A BAD AFFLICTION. ♪
♪ IT'S EVERY DAY AND NIGHT. ♪
♪ IT MAKES ME LICK MY FINGERS ♪
♪ AND GO DANCING IN THE RAIN. ♪
♪ I'M LIVIN' FOR ♪
♪ THE FAST FOOD LIFE. ♪
♪ I LOVE THE DRIVE-THRU LANE. ♪
♪ I GOT CRISCO ON THE BRAIN. ♪
♪ COME ON! ♪
>> ♪ FRENCH FRIED INSIDE OUT. ♪
>> Mark: ♪ I'M LIVIN' ♪
♪ FOR DEEP-FRIED OKRA. ♪
>> ♪ FAT GRAMS MAKE ME SHOUT. ♪
>> Mark: ♪ GIVE ME SOME ♪
♪ DEEP-FRIED OKRA. ♪
>> ♪ MY LIPS WANT GREASE ♪
♪ INSTEAD. ♪
>> Mark: ♪ FRIED CHICKEN ♪
♪ UNTIL I CHOKE-A. ♪
>> ♪ FLUSH THAT SAUERKRAUT, ♪
>> Mark: ♪ AND GIVE ME ♪
♪ SOME DEEP FRIED OKRA. ♪
>> ♪ COME ON. ♪
>> Mark: ♪ LIVIN' FOR ♪
♪ DEEP-FRIED OKRA. ♪
>> ♪ COME ON!
>> Mark: ♪ I'M LIVIN' FOR ♪
♪ DEEP-FRIED OKRA. ♪
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
I LOVE FOOD.
♪ I WOKE UP ♪
♪ IN NEW YORK CITY ♪
♪ WITH A CORN DOG ♪
♪ IN EACH HAND. ♪
♪ THEY HAD TO TAKE ME ♪
♪ ON THE-- ♪
>> LET'S TRY THESE PANTS ON.
>> Mark: THIS AIN'T GOING TO
FIT IN MY PANTS.
I KNOW THAT?
I'M GOING TO GET FATTER
TWO MORE TIMES.
♪ AND ONCE YOU'VE HAD ♪
♪ A TASTE OF IT, ♪
♪ YOU'LL NEVER BE THE SAME. ♪
♪ IT'LL MAKE YOU GO INSANE. ♪
>> ♪ COME ON! ♪
>> ♪ FRENCH FRIED INSIDE OUT. ♪
>> Mark: ♪ I'M LIVIN' ♪
♪ FOR DEEP-FRIED OKRA. ♪
HELLO, I'M JERRY FALWELL.
>> OH, GOD.
>> THIS WEEK, IF YOU HELP ME
BUILD LIBERTY MOUNTAIN,
I'LL SEND YOU MACEL
AND THE KIDS.
>> ♪ COME ON! ♪
♪ LET'S PASS ♪
♪ THE CHEESECAKE NOW ♪
♪ AND A BOWL OF TAPIOCA. ♪
>> ♪ COME ON! ♪
>> Mark: ♪ BEFORE, AFTER. ♪
♪ BEFORE, AFTER. ♪
♪ YES, I GOTTA, GOTTA ♪
♪ EAT-A MORE. ♪
WHOO!
♪ COME ON OVER HERE. ♪
♪ GIVE ME THAT ♪
♪ DEEP-FRIED OKRA. ♪
>> ♪ COME ON! ♪
>> Mark: ♪ GOTTA, GOTTA HAVE ♪
♪ SOME OKRA. ♪
♪ GOTTA, GOTTA HAVE ♪
♪ SOME DEEP-FRIED OKRA. ♪
♪ GOTTA, GOTTA ♪
♪ HAVE IT FRIED! ♪ ♪
[laughter]
THIS IS BEFORE MY DIET.
[applause]
FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF
YEARS--EVERYWHERE I'VE GONE ON
THE ROAD, I'VE GONE NOWHERE IN
MY SOLO CONCERTS WITHOUT THIS
NEXT GENTLEMAN.
I HAVE NEVER WORKED WITH ANYONE
WHO CAN TEAR UP A CROWD QUICKER
AND HAVE 'EM SHREDDED BEFORE I
EVEN HIT THE STAGE.
I WANT YOU TO WELCOME ANTHONY
BURGER.
[sinister piano music]
♪ ♪
[playing Just A Little While]
♪ ♪
[playing The Meeting In The Air]
[cheering]
YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE HOW LONG
IT TOOK ME TO TEACH HIM TO PLAY
LIKE THAT.
[laughter]
YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO?
THIS MAY NOT MAKE THE VIDEO, BUT
I WANT TO DO IT ANYWAY, 'CAUSE
WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING JUST FOR
US.
AND I FEEL LED, SINCE IT'S MY
NIGHT ON BROADWAY.
I WANT TO TAKE A--DO A MEDLEY.
YOU KNOW HOW WE DO IT IN
CONCERT?
I'LL TAKE SONGS FROM THE
AUDIENCE, AND YOU WRITE 'EM
DID YOU BRING YOUR PEN AND
PAPER?
GOOD
AND WE'RE JUST GOING TO TAKE,
YOU KNOW, SECULAR LOVE SONGS.
IF YOU'RE WITH YOUR HUSBAND OR
WIFE AND BOYFRIEND OR
GIRLFRIEND--YOU'VE GOT A SONG
THAT REALLY MEANT A LOT TO YOU
AS YOU WERE DATING AND COURTING
OR HAS BEEN YOUR THEME SONG OR
WHATEVER.
HERE'S A COUPLE RIGHT HERE
LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE MADLY IN
LOVE.
HE HASN'T SMILED ALL NIGHT, BUT
HE'S HOLDING YOUR HAND.
[laughter]
YOU GOT A SONG?
YOU DON'T HAVE A SONG?
BORN TO LOSE
THAT'S NOT A GOOD ONE TO PLAY.
ANYBODY GOT A LOVE SONG?
OH, YOU GOT ONE? WHAT?
>> [indistinct speech]
>> Mark: ♪ THE FIRST TIME ♪
♪ EVER I SAW YOUR FACE. ♪ ♪
THAT'S MY JOHNNY MATHIS
IMITATION.
OH, I LIKE THAT ONE.
♪ UNFORGETTABLE. ♪
♪ THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE. ♪ ♪
JUST SCREAM IT OUT.
>> [indistinct speech]
>> Mark: GREAT BALLS OF FIRE.
THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
UNFORGETTABLE, GREAT BALLS OF
FIRE-- WHAT WAS THE OTHER ONE?
THE FIRST TIME EVER I SAW YOUR
FACE.
Y'ALL THINK HE CAN DO IT?
>> [all] YEAH.
>> Mark: PUT IT IN A MEDLEY
WHILE WE WAIT, ANTHONY BURGER.
[playing The First Time Ever I
Saw Your Face]
♪ ♪
[playing Unforgettable]
♪ ♪
[cheering]
[playing Great Balls of Fire]
♪ ♪
[applause]
>> Mark: YOU KNOW, ANTHONY,
SINCE THIS IS MY NIGHT--
[laughter]
I'VE SUNG WITH THE VOCAL BAND.
I'VE SUNG WITH MAMA.
WHAT ELSE HAVE WE DONE?
I DIDN'T GET TO SING WITH DAVID
AND SANDI, BUT, YOU KNOW, CAN'T
HAVE EVERYTHING.
I WANT TO DO A DUET WITH YOU,
A PIANO DUET.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "OH"?
A PIANO DUET--ME AND ANTHONY.
BRING OUT THAT OTHER PIANO.
HERE IT COMES.
OH.
[laughter]
THAT'S--
THAT'S IT?
I GUESS WE HAD A LITTLE BUDGET
PROBLEM HERE.
WELL, HEY, ANTHONY, BUDDY, IT'S
MY NIGHT.
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PLAY
THAT ONE, AND I'LL PLAY THIS
ONE.
>> [all together] OH.
>> Mark: IT'S MY NIGHT!
[laughter]
LET'S PLAY OUR DUET, ANTHONY.
[playing Keep On The Firing
Line]
♪ ♪
[laughter and applause]
NO. FOR ME?
PLEASE STAY SEATED.
STAY SEATED.
YOU KNOW, THIS IS SUCH AN HONOR
TO BE HERE IN THIS GREAT AREA.
AND IN A HARBOR NOT TOO FAR FROM
HERE, YOU KNOW WHO STANDS THERE:
A LADY THAT REPRESENTS FREEDOM
AND ALL THOSE WONDERFUL THINGS
THAT WE HAVE LOVED TO TREASURE.
IN FACT, FRANKLIN ROOSEVELT
SAID, "THOSE WHO HAVE LONG
ENJOYED SUCH PRIVILEGES AS WE
ENJOY FORGET IN TIME THAT MEN
HAVE DIED TO WIN THEM."
AND I LOVE ONE THING THAT
ANTHONY DOES.
WE WERE IN HAWAII WITH THE
GAITHERS.
WE HAD TO GO OVER THERE, YOU
KNOW, AND SUFFER FOR THE LORD
AND--
[laughter]
WE WERE OVER THERE SHOOTING ONE
OF THOSE HOMECOMING VIDEOS.
AND WHILE WE WERE THERE, WE WENT
TO SEE THE PEARL HARBOR MONUMENT
TO ALL THOSE MEN WHO HAD DIED SO
WE COULD BE HERE TONIGHT.
I MEAN, IT'S AMAZING THAT A
HYPERACTIVE KID FROM HOUSTON,
TEXAS, COULD BE HERE TONIGHT
SINGING AND TALKING ABOUT THE
LORD AND HAVING WONDERFUL PEOPLE
HERE, AND WE HAVE NO FEAR--NO
FEAR WHATSOEVER OF BEING HARMED
TODAY, BECAUSE WE CLAIM THE NAME
OF CHRIST.
THIS IS A WONDERFUL COUNTRY WE
LIVE IN.
[applause]
WE OWE OUR FREEDOM TO THOSE MEN
AND WOMEN WHO HAVE SHED THEIR
BLOOD SO WE COULD SIT HERE
TONIGHT.
AND I KNOW SOME OF YOU HERE
TONIGHT WERE IN THE ARMED
FORCES.
AND ANTHONY DOES THIS INCREDIBLE
MEDLEY THAT I ASKED HIM TO DO.
AND WHEN WE COME TO YOUR SONG--
YOUR SONG, WE WANT YOU TO STAND.
AND WE'RE GOING TO GET THE
CAMERA ON YOU SO WE CAN APPLAUD
YOU AND THANK YOU FOR FIGHTING
FOR OUR FREEDOM IN THIS GREAT
COUNTRY.
HIT IT, ANTHONY.
[playing The U.S. Air Force Song
(The Wild Bule Yonder)]
♪ ♪
AIR FORCE!
[applause]
NAVY!
[playing Anchors Aweigh]
♪ ♪
MARINES.
[playing The Marine Corps Hymn]
♪ ♪
ARMY!
[playing Caissons Go Rolling
Along]
♪ ♪
>> ♪ GLORY, GLORY HALLELUJAH. ♪
♪ GLORY, GLORY HALLELUJAH. ♪
>> Mark: AMERICA!
>> ♪ GLORY, GLORY HALLELUJAH. ♪
♪ HIS TRUTH IS MARCHING ON. ♪
♪ HIS TRUTH IS MARCHING ON. ♪ ♪
[cheering and applause]
[soft piano music]
>> ♪ DEEP WITHIN THE HEART ♪
♪ HAS ALWAYS KNOWN ♪
♪ THAT THERE IS FREEDOM ♪
♪ SOMEHOW BREATHED INTO ♪
♪ THE VERY SOUL OF LIFE. ♪
♪ THE PRISONER, THE POWERLESS, ♪
♪ THE SLAVE ♪
♪ HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN IT. ♪
♪ THERE'S SOMETHING THAT ♪
♪ KEEPS REACHING FOR THE SKY. ♪
>> ♪ AND EVEN LIFE BEGINS ♪
♪ BECAUSE A BABY ♪
♪ FIGHTS FOR FREEDOM, ♪
♪ AND SONGS WE LOVE TO SING ♪
♪ HAVE FREEDOM'S THEME. ♪
>> ♪ SOME HAVE WALKED ♪
♪ THROUGH FIRE AND FLOOD ♪
♪ TO FIND THE PLACE ♪
♪ OF FREEDOM. ♪
♪ AND SOME FACED HELL ITSELF ♪
♪ FOR FREEDOM'S DREAM. ♪
♪ LET FREEDOM RING ♪
♪ WHEREVER MINDS KNOW ♪
♪ WHAT IT MEANS ♪
♪ TO BE IN CHAINS. ♪
♪ LET FREEDOM RING ♪
♪ WHEREVER HEARTS KNOW PAIN. ♪
>> Mark: ♪ LET FREEDOM ECHO ♪
♪ THROUGH THE LONELY STREETS, ♪
♪ WHERE PRISONS HAVE NO KEY. ♪
>> ♪ WE CAN BE FREE, ♪
♪ AND WE CAN SING ♪
♪ LET FREEDOM RING. ♪
>> ♪ GOD BUILT FREEDOM ♪
♪ INTO EVERY FIBER ♪
♪ OF CREATION, ♪
♪ AND HE MEANT FOR US ♪
♪ TO ALL BE FREE AND WHOLE. ♪
>> ♪ FREE AND WHOLE. ♪
>> ♪ OH, BUT WHEN MY LORD ♪
♪ BOUGHT FREEDOM ♪
♪ THROUGH THE BLOOD ♪
♪ OF HIS REDEMPTION, ♪
♪ HIS CROSS STAMPED PARDONED ♪
♪ ON MY VERY SOUL. ♪
>> ♪ I'LL SING IT OUT ♪
♪ WITH EVERY BREATH. ♪
♪ I'LL LET THE WHOLE WORLD ♪
♪ HEAR IT, ♪
♪ THIS HALLELUJAH ANTHEM ♪
♪ OF THE FREE, ♪
♪ THAT IRON BARS ♪
♪ AND HEAVY CHAINS ♪
♪ CAN NEVER HOLD US CAPTIVE. ♪
♪ THE SON HAS MADE US FREE ♪
♪ AND FREE INDEED. ♪
♪ LET FREEDOM RING ♪
♪ DOWN THROUGH THE AGES ♪
♪ FROM A HILL CALLED CALVARY. ♪
♪ LET FREEDOM RING ♪
♪ WHEREVER HEARTS KNOW PAIN. ♪
>> ♪ LET FREEDOM ECHO ♪
♪ THROUGH THE LONELY STREETS, ♪
♪ WHERE PRISONS HAVE NO KEY. ♪
>> ♪ YOU CAN BE FREE, ♪
♪ AND YOU CAN SING ♪
♪ "LET FREEDOM RING." ♪
>> ♪ LET FREEDOM ECHO ♪
♪ THROUGH THE LONELY STREETS, ♪
♪ WHERE PRISONS HAVE NO KEY. ♪
>> ♪ YOU CAN BE FREE, ♪
♪ AND YOU CAN SING ♪
♪ "LET FREEDOM RING." ♪
♪ YOU CAN BE FREE, ♪
♪ AND YOU CAN SING ♪
♪ "LET FREEDOM RING." ♪
♪ LET FREEDOM RING. ♪ ♪
[applause]
>> Mark: WHOO!
FREEDOM!
THAT'LL MAKE A BAPTIST SHOUT.
ISN'T IT GOOD TO BE FREE?
[cheering]
WE ARE SO BLESSED.
GLORIA GAITHER WROTE THAT LYRIC.
STAND UP, GLORIA.
SHE IS ONE OF MY HEROES.
PLEASE STAND UP.
I LOVE HER.
TELL YOU WHAT.
THE PAST 13 YEARS TRAVELING WITH
THE VOCAL BAND, THE BEST THING
ABOUT IT HAS BEEN BREAKFAST WITH
GLORIA.
SHE HAS TAKEN MY BRAIN AND
SHREDDED IT IN SO MANY DIFFERENT
DIRECTIONS.
THAT IS ONE OF THE MOST
BRILLIANT HUMAN BEINGS YOU'LL
EVER KNOW AND ONE OF THE
GODLIEST WOMEN I'VE EVER KNOWN
IN MY LIFE.
AND I LOVE YOU, GLORIA.
I LOVE YOU, AND I'M GLAD YOU'RE
HERE.
I'VE BEEN WITH THE VOCAL BAND
FOR--I NEED SOME WATER.
I NEED--HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
THIS IS NO JOKE.
OH, THAT'S A LITTLE LORD'S
SUPPER CUP OF WATER RIGHT THERE.
WE COULD HAVE A PRESBYTERIAN
BAPTISM WITH THAT WATER.
BAPTIZE THE WHOLE FRONT ROW.
THAT IS WHAT YOU CALL A BUDGET.
BEEN WITH THEM 13 YEARS.
BUT EIGHT YEARS OF IT I'VE BEEN
IN NASHVIL
ACTUALLY, THE FIRST--8, 9, 10,
11, 12--5 YEARS--
I'M A COLLEGE GRADUATE.
I WAS LIVING IN ATLANTA,
AND THEN BILL CALLED ME AND
SAID, "MARK, YOU NEED TO MOVE TO
NASHVILLE, 'CAUSE IT WOULD
REALLY MAKE IT MORE CONVENIENT
FOR ME."
AND I THOUGHT, "WELL, BILL,
THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO DO: MAKE
IT CONVENIENT FOR YOU."
AND I MOVED TO NASHVILLE, AND I
MOVED INTO A HIGH-RISE, 'CAUSE I
HAD ALWAYS WANTED TO LIVE IN ONE
EVER SINCE I WAS A KID WHEN I
USED TO WATCH THE JEFFERSONS.
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT SHOW?
[laughter]
♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE. ♪
REMEMBER THAT?
♪ TO THAT DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY. ♪ ♪
OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT.
YOU KNOW, THAT'S THE A.D.D.
VERSION OF THAT SONG.
THAT'S ALL YOU NEED.
YOU GOT A.D.D.?
JUST A SNIPPET.
BUT I LIVED THERE FOR ABOUT FIVE
MONTHS, AND THEN I REALIZED IN
THIS HIGH-RISE THERE WAS ONLY
FIVE FLOORS.
BUT IT'S HIGH ENOUGH.
AND I LIVED THERE FOR ABOUT FIVE
MONTHS, AND I REALIZED THAT I AM
IN A NURSING HOME.
I MEAN, EVERY--IT WAS JUST--
AND THEY'RE SWEET, BUT BENGAY
WAS IN THE AIR EVERY NIGHT.
[laughter]
AND SO I FINALLY GOT ME A HOUSE.
I WANTED TO GET ME A HOUSE LIKE
THE OLD *** VAN *** SHOW.
IT'S ALL ONE FLOOR.
I WAS TIRED OF THE ELEVATOR.
I WAS TIRED OF, YOU KNOW,
CLIMBING UP STEPS WHEN THE
ELEVATOR WAS BROKEN, SO I GOT ME
A HOUSE ALL ONE FLOOR.
IT'S GOT A LITTLE GARAGE.
A COUPLE OF STEPS, YOU'RE INSIDE
THE HOUSE.
NO BIG DEAL, YOU KNOW?
I LOVE IT--REALLY COOL HOUSE.
BUT THE PROBLEM IS, WHEN YOU ARE
IN A HIGH-RISE, YOU HAVE A
MAINTENANCE MAN.
WHEN YOU OWN THE HOME, YOU ARE
THE MAINTENANCE MAN.
AND SO I HAD TO DISCOVER A LOT
OF THINGS ABOUT KEEPING UP A
HOUSE, WHICH HOME DEPOT CAME IN
HANDY FOR THAT.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE GOT HOME
DEPOT UP HERE.
DO Y'ALL HAVE HOME DEPOT?
>> [all] YEA
>> Mark: DON'T YOU LOVE IT?
>> [all] YEAH.
>> Mark: IS THAT NOT A MAN'S
HEAVEN?
I THOUGHT--I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST
LIKE A HARDWARE STORE.
I'D NEVER BEEN TO HOME DEPOT.
I HAD NO REASON TO GO TO HOME
DEPOT, BUT I WENT THERE LOOKING
FOR SOME PICTURE HANGERS FOR MY
NEW HOUSE.
I WAS GOING TO HANG SOME
PICTURES OF MY FAMILY, AND SO I
WENT TO LOOK FOR THOSE HOOKS,
YOU KNOW, YOU STICK INTO THE
WALL?
I WALKED INTO HOME DEPOT.
AND FIRST OF ALL, I NOTICED
THEIR CARTS AREN'T LIKE
KROGERS'.
THEY'RE BIG.
YOU COULD HOUSE MISSIONARIES ON
FURLOUGH IN THEIR CARTS.
AND I WENT THERE LOOKING FOR
PICTURE HANGERS.
I LEFT WITH A JACUZZI.
EVERY AISLE I WENT DOWN WAS
SOMETHING ELSE I COULDN'T LIVE
WITHOUT.
I WAS DOWN TWO OR THREE AISLES,
AND MY CART WAS FULL.
FINALLY I CAME ACROSS--ABOUT THE
THIRD OR FOURTH AISLE, I CAME
ACROSS A WHOLE BIG BOX OF
THESE BLUE TOILET PLUNGERS.
MY MOTHER ALWAYS HAD THE SUCTION
CUP KIND.
YOU KNOW--YOU PROBABLY HAVE
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?
BUT THESE ARE, LIKE, ALL ONE
PIECE AT HOME DEPOT: BLUE
PLASTIC, AND THEY'VE GOT AN
ACCORDION END ON THEM.
AND THEY'RE AMAZING.
AND I BOUGHT TWO, 'CAUSE I GOT
TWO TOILETS.
DON'T YOU--
DON'T YOU HATE GOING TO
SOMEONE'S HOUSE FOR DINNER AND
THEY'VE HID THE PLUNGER?
[laughter]
I THINK THAT, REALLY--
AND YOU GOTTA INTERRUPT A
SEVEN-COURSE MEAL.
"EXCUSE ME, BUT WHERE'D Y'ALL
PARK YOUR PLUNGER?"
AND THAT WATER'S RISING UP.
IS THAT NOT PANIC IN YOUR HEART?
I MEAN, ANY BATH--
I BECOME INSTANT CHARISMATIC ON
THAT.
"STOP!"
AT HOME DEPOT, THEY GOT THIS
ONE-PIECE PLUNGER THAT IS
AMAZING.
I WAS USING MINE THE OTHER DAY,
AND THE GUY THREE DOORS DOWN
CALLED AND SAID, "THANKS.
WHAT KIND OF PLUNGER WAS THAT?"
THIS BABY WORKS.
AND ALSO, I GOT ME A--I GOT ME A
GAS GRILL, YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE, YOU
KNOW, YOU GET A BACK PORCH LIKE
I'VE GOT NOW, GOT ME A GAS
GRIL
GOT THE BIGGEST SUGAR MAPLE TREE
IN NASHVILLE HANGING OVER MY--
AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT THE FORMER
OWNERS TOLD ME WHEN THEY WERE
TRYING TO SELL THE DUMP.
AND I GOT ME A GAS GRILL, AND I
GOT IT ALL SET UP, AND I INVITED
SOME FRIENDS OVER, AND I WAS ALL
EXCITED TO HAVE THEM IN MY NEW
HOUSE.
INVITED NORMAN AND BRENDA, WHO'S
HERE TONIGHT, AND THEY INVITED
SOME FRIENDS OF THEIRS THAT I
HAD NOT MET UNTIL THIS MOMENT IN
TIME.
AND WE HAD THE STEAKS.
YOU KNOW, I GRILLED THE STEAKS
MYSELF.
AND I FOUND OUT IF YOU GET A
CHEAP PIECE OF MEAT AND PUT
ENOUGH GARLIC ON IT, IT'LL TASTE
LIKE A FILET MIGNON.
[laughter]
SO I GRILLED THE STEAKS, AND
NORMAN BROUGHT THE BAKED BEANS,
AND BRENDA BROUGHT SOME POTATO
AND SOMEBODY ELSE BROUGHT TEA,
AND WE WERE JUST HAVING A GOOD
TI
AND AFTERWARDS, WE WERE HAVING
COFFEE, YOU KNOW, LIKE ADULTS
DO.
AND WE WERE TALKING ABOUT
POLITICS, WHICH I KNOW NOTHING
ABOUT; BUT IT'S NEVER STOPPED ME
FROM HAVING AN OPINION.
AND WE WERE JUST SAYING THIS.
AND I SAID, "YOU KNOW, I VOTE
THIS WAY, BECAUSE I'M A
CHRISTIAN, AND I BELIEVE CERTAIN
THINGS THAT I WANT TO, YOU KNOW,
SEE HAPPEN," OR WHATEVER.
AND NANCY, WHO WAS A FRIEND OF
BRENDA'S, SPOKE UP AND SAID,
"WELL, I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD,
AND I VOTE THE OPPOSITE OF YOU."
AND I DIDN'T CARE HOW SHE VOTED.
ALL I HEARD WAS, "I DON'T
BELIEVE IN GOD."
I GOT SO EXCITED.
I'D NEVER HAD ONE IN MY HOME
BEFORE.
I WENT AROUND AND LOCKED ALL THE
DOORS.
I SAID, "YOU'RE GOING TO BE HERE
AWHILE."
OH, WE HAD A WONDERFUL TIME.
I STARTED TO EXPLAIN.
I SAID, "YOU KNOW WHAT?
I WOULD BE AN ATHEIST TOO IF I
HAD THAT MUCH FAITH.
IT TAKES A LOT OF FAITH TO
BELIEVE ALL THE ORDER AROUND US
EVOLVED FROM SOME GASEOUS BELCH
IN THE UNIVERSE 6 BILLION YEARS
AGO."
YOU KNOW, ORDER NEVER COMES FROM
CHAOS UNLESS SOMEBODY PUTS IT
TOGETHER.
ALL THE ORDER IN THE UNIVERSE--
YOU KNOW, IF I TOOK MY WATCH
APART, MY TIMEX INDIGLO--
I LOVE MY WATCH.
I WAS UP ALL NIGHT LOOKING AT
THAT WATCH.
ABOUT EVERY 15 MINUTES
I WAS CHECKING IT LAST NIGHT.
BUT WHAT IF I TOOK IT OFF MY ARM
AND TOOK IT TOTALLY APART AND
STUFFED THE PIECES IN A SACK,
AND THEN I SHOOK THE SACK FOR 6
BILLION YEARS?
WHAT IF AFTER 6 BILLION YEARS--
WHAT WOULD BE THE CHANCES OF ME
PULLING OUT A WATCH THAT'S
TICKING AND ON TIME?
I DON'T EVEN HAVE ENOUGH FAITH
FOR THAT.
I CERTAINLY DON'T HAVE ENOUGH
FAITH TO THINK THAT THIS
COMPLICATED UNIVERSE AROUND
US--AND EVEN IN OUR BODIES,
D.N.A.
THEY'VE JUST IN THE LAST FEW
YEARS DISCOVERED D.N.A.
I'VE HAD IT ALL ALONG.
[laughter]
AND LOOK AT YOUR THUMBPRINT.
EVERYBODY LOOK AT YOUR
THUMBPRINT RIGHT NOW.
DID YOU KNOW THAT'S AN ORIGINAL?
YOU ARE THUMBODY.
THERE AIN'T ANOTHER ONE LIKE YOU
IN THE WORLD.
I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH FAITH TO
BELIEVE ALL THE ORDER AROUND US
CAME FROM CHAOS.
AND ONCE YOU REALIZE YOU DON'T
HAVE ENOUGH FAITH TO BELIEVE
THAT THERE ISN'T A GOD, YOU NEED
TO GO ON THE HUNT TO FIND OUT
WHO THIS GOD IS.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
FOR US TO KNOW GOD, HE'D HAVE
HAD TO FIND US.
IN THIS GREAT BIG UNIVERSE, HOW
ARE WE GOING TO FIND GOD?
THE BEST WE CAN DO IS SEND A
TONKA TRUCK TO MARS.
[laughter]
AND IT HIT A ROCK NAMED BARNEY,
AND IT HADN'T BEEN HEARD FROM
SINCE.
IN THIS GREAT, EVER-EXPANDING
UNIVERSE, HOW ARE WE GOING TO
FIND GOD?
HE FOUND US.
>> AMEN.
>> Mark: BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
HE CAME THROUGH THE BACK DOOR.
HE CAME THROUGH A *** GIRL.
MY COLLEGE PROFESSOR SAID SHE
WAS 13 YEARS OF AGE.
NOW, I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE GOT
THAT IN THE BIBLE, BUT I LEARNED
A LOT OF THINGS IN BIBLE COLLEGE
I NEVER READ IN THE BIBLE.
[laughter]
BUT WE DO KNOW THAT SHE WAS A
*** MAIDEN AND SHE WAS YOUNG.
NOW, I WOULDN'T HAVE COME--IF I
HAD BEEN GOD AND I WAS COMING TO
EARTH, THAT'S NOT THE WAY I'D
HAVE COME.
I'D HAVE HAD A BIG GOLDEN
STAIRCASE COMING OUT OF THE SKY.
I'D HAVE HAD CHERUBIM SINGING
AND SERAPHIM SWINGING AND
GABRIEL PLAYING A DIXIELAND
MELODY ON THAT TRUMPET.
AND I'D LET 'EM KNOW I'M COMING
TO EARTH.
AND WHEN I GET HERE, I'M GOING
TO KICK SOME TAIL, 'CAUSE I'M A
BAPTIST.
[laughter]
WELL, THAT'S NOT THE WAY GOD
CAME.
YOU KNOW WHO I FEEL SORRY FOR?
THE PEOPLE THAT WERE IN THE
MOTEL WHILE GOD WAS BEING BORN
IN THE BARN.
JUST A FEW BARNYARD ANIMALS GOT
TO WITNESS THE ENTRANCE OF THE
KING AND A *** MAIDEN AND HER
ESPOUSED, HER HUSBAND, JOSEPH.
AND THEN SHE GOT TO GROW UP WITH
HIM.
ISN'T THAT COOL?
I MEAN, SHE GOT TO--
NOW, MY DAD--MY DAD'S HERE
TONIGHT.
MY DAD BELIEVES JESUS KNEW WHO
HE WAS THE SECOND HE WAS
CONCEIVED.
I DON'T.
AND WHEN DADDY DOES HIS CONCERT,
HE CAN SAY WHAT HE WANTS.
[laughter]
I SAID, "DADDY, IF JESUS KNEW
WHO HE WAS THE SECOND HE WAS
CONCEIVED, THEN HE WAS FAKING
ALL THOSE DIAPER CHANGES."
BECAUSE MARY CHANGED GOD'S
DIAPERS.
MARY GOT TO HAVE GOD NURSE AT
HER BREAST.
MARY TAUGHT GOD HOW TO TALK.
MARY TAUGHT GOD HOW TO WALK,
BECAUSE WHEN OUR GOD CAME TO
EARTH HE SET ASIDE HIS
OMNISCIENCE, HIS OMNIPRESENCE,
AND WRAPPED HIMSELF IN FLESH AND
BECAME ONE OF US SO WE COULD
KNOW HIM.
[applause]
AND I DO--I DO KNOW THAT MY DAD
WOULD AGREE IN THIS.
BY THE TIME HE WAS 12--
BY THE TIME HE WAS 12, WE KNOW
JESUS KNEW WHO HE WAS.
BUT JUST CAN YOU IMAGINE--
THINK OF THE BEDTIME STORIES
WHEN JESUS WOULD CRAWL UP IN
MARY'S LAP AND SAY, "MAMA, TELL
ME THAT STORY AGAIN ABOUT WHEN
THE ANGEL CAME.
TELL ME THAT STORY AGAIN ABOUT
WHAT THE WISE MEN BROUGHT ME."
WHAT GREAT BEDTIME STORIES.
MY DAD'S ONE OF THE BEST BEDTIME
STORYTELLER THAT EVER LIVED.
IN FACT, IF HE'D STILL TELL ME
BEDTIME STORIES, I'D STILL LIVE
AT HOME.
BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE THOSE
BEDTIME STORIES?
HE KNEW WHO HE WAS BY THE TIME
HE WAS 12.
I MEAN, HIS OWN MOM HAD PROBABLY
TOLD HIM.
JUST THINK ABOUT THAT, 'CAUSE--
AND HE WAS 12 YEARS OF AGE.
HE WAS TEACHING AT THE TEMPLE,
AND HE HAD DITCHED HIS MOM FOR
TWO DAYS.
THEY WENT OFF AND LEFT JESUS,
AND JESUS WASN'T WITH THEM.
AND CAN YOU IMAGINE THE PANIC IN
MARY'S HEART WHEN SHE FINALLY
REALIZED THAT JESUS WASN'T WITH
HERE SHE'S BEEN ENTRUSTED WITH
GOD'S KID, AND SHE'S LOST HIM.
[laughter]
AND SHE HIGHTAILS IT BACK TO
SHE SAID, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?"
HE SAID, "DON'T YOU KNOW?
I MUST BE ABOUT MY FATHER'S
BUSINESS."
AND SHE BOUGHT IT.
THAT LINE NEVER WORKED FOR ME.
MAMA SAID, "I'LL SHOW YOU YOUR
FATHER'S BUSINESS.
GET IN THE HOUSE!"
'CAUSE MY MAMA KNEW I WASN'T
*** BORN.
BUT IF ANYBODY KNEW JESUS WAS
*** BORN, MARY KNEW IT.
AND THEN WE DON'T KNOW WHAT
HAPPENED BETWEEN 12 AND 30.
WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED.
NOBODY WROTE IT DOWN.
GOOD NIGHT, GOD'S IN THE HOUSE.
ISN'T SOMEBODY KEEPING A
JOURNAL?
WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED
BETWEEN 12 AND 30.
NOBODY WROTE IT DOWN.
I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THOSE
SILENT YEARS.
I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE WAS LIKE
AS A TEENAGER.
I WANT TO KNOW "DID HE HAVE A
HERO?"
I WANT TO KNOW "DOES SHE EVER
MAKE HIM GET A HAIRCUT?"
I WANT TO KNOW "DID SHE EVER
TELL HIM TO TURN THE MUSIC
DOWN?"
I WANT TO KNOW "DID SHE WALK
INTO HIS ROOM AND SAY
GOOD NIGHT!
CLEAN UP THIS MESS.
WERE YOU BORN IN A BARN?"
[laughter]
I WANT TO KNOW "DID HE HAVE A
GIRLFRIEND?"
I WANT TO KNOW "DID HE EVER
PERFORM MIRACLES AROUND THE
HOUSE?
AND IF HE DIDN'T, HOW DID YOU
KNOW HE COULD?"
NEXT TIME WE SEE HIM, HE'S 30
YEARS OF AGE.
HE KNOWS HE'S THE MESSIAH.
MARY KNOWS HE'S THE MESSIAH.
HE'S STILL LIVING AT HOME, AND
SHE'S READY FOR HIM TO GO MESSI.
[laughter]
HAS YOUR MOTHER EVER SAID
ANYTHING TO YOU AND--IT DOESN'T
MATTER WHAT FLIES OUT OF HER
MOUTH--YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT
SHE'S THINKING?
YOU KNOW WHAT SHE'S MEANING?
I BELIEVE WE HAVE ONE OF THOSE
HERE.
"THEY'VE RUN OUT OF WINE AT THE
MARRIAGE SUPPER."
[laughter]
THAT'S ALL SHE SAID.
IF MY MAMA CAME UP TO ME AND
SAID THEY'VE RUN OUT OF DIET
COKE AT THE PARTY, I WOULDN'T
THINK SHE'S WANTING ME TO TURN
WATER INTO DIET COKE.
I THINK SHE'S WANTING ME TO GO
DOWN TO THE 7-ELEVEN AND BUY
SOME MORE DIET COKE.
ALL MARY SAID WAS, "THEY'VE RUN
OUT OF WINE AT THE PARTY."
AND JESUS KNEW WHAT SHE MEANT,
'CAUSE HE SAID, "WOMAN"--
LET'S STOP THERE FOR A MINUTE.
[laughter]
YOU KNOW, THAT MAY BE RESPECTFUL
IN ISRAEL,
BUT IF YOU'RE FROM TEXAS LIKE I
AM AND YOU CALL YOUR MOM A
WOMAN, YOU'RE GOING TO BE
WEARING YOUR TEETH AROUND YOUR
NECK.
HE SAID, "WOMAN, WHAT HAVE I TO
DO WITH THEE?
IT'S NOT MY TIME."
BUT IT WAS.
I LOVE THE FACT THAT JESUS'
FIRST MIRACLE WASN'T RAISING
ANYONE FROM THE DEAD.
HIS FIRST MIRACLE WASN'T GIVING
SIGHT TO THE BLIND.
HIS FIRST MIRACLE WAS TURNING
WATER INTO WINE.
HIS FIRST MIRACLE WAS ONE JUST
TO KEEP THE PARTY GOING.
[laughter]
AND THEN HE STARTED DOING ALL
THOSE COOL MIRACLES.
HE DID GIVE SIGHT TO THE BLIND;
HE DID GIVE NEW EARS TO THE
DEAF; HE DID GIVE A NEW MIND TO
THE DEMON POSSESSED; AND HE DID
RAISE THE DEAD.
LAZARUS WAS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE.
I MEAN, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO
HAVE BEEN LAZA
HE HAD ALREADY DIED AND GOT THAT
OUT OF THE WAY.
[laughter]
HE'S IN PARADISE EATING FRIED
CHICKEN WITH MOSES AND ABRAHAM
TALKING ABOUT HOW TOUGH IT WAS
GETTING THERE.
BUT OH, "NOW WE'RE IN PARADISE."
[deep voice] "LAZARUS,
COME FORTH."
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?
BY NOW, I STINKETH."
AND LAZARUS HAD TO DIE AGAIN,
UNLESS HE'S BILL GAITHER.
[laughter]
BUT JESUS COULDN'T PASS A
FUNERAL WITHOUT BREAKING IT UP.
JESUS WAS THE GREATEST PREACHER
WHO EVER LIVED, AND HE NEVER
PREACHED A FUNERAL.
HE RAISED THE DEAD.
WHEN THE DEAD SIT UP, THE
FUNERAL'S OVER.
DON'T YOU BE RAISING NO DEAD
PEOPLE AT MY BAPTIST CHURCH.
YOU'LL HAVE TO RAISE US ALL.
DON'T YOU MESS UP A GOOD
FUNERAL.
LET 'EM LAY THERE.
AND MARY WATCHED IT ALL AND
PONDERED THOSE THINGS IN HER
HEART.
HEARD MY MOTHER SAY WHEN I WAS
JUST A KID.
SHE SAID, "IF ANYBODY KNEW JESUS
WAS *** BORN, MARY KNEW IT
AND NEVER FORGOT IT, 'CAUSE THE
SILENCE OF MARY AT THE CROSS IS
SUCH A GREAT TESTIMONY TO THE
FACT OF WHO JESUS IS."
HERE WE HAVE A JEWISH MOTHER
WHOSE FIRSTBORN SON IS DYING ON
A CROSS NOT FOR HEALING OF THE
SICK.
LISTEN, HEALING OF THE SICK,
LIKE, TODAY AND BACK THEN,
THAT'LL GET YOU A TV SHOW.
THEY CRUCIFIED JESUS BECAUSE HE
SAID, "WHEN YOU'VE SEEN ME,
YOU'VE SEEN THE FATHER."
THEY CRUCIFIED JESUS BECAUSE HE
DIDN'T CLAIM TO BE A GREAT
TEACHER OR A GREAT PREACHER.
HE CLAIMED TO BE GOD ON FOOT.
"YOU'RE LOOKING FOR JEHOVAH?
TA-DAH."
HE SAID, "I AND THE FATHER
ARE ONE."
AND THEY CRUCIFIED HIM, AND HIS
MOTHER NEVER OPENED HER MOUTH.
DO YOU REALIZE IF I WAS BEING
CRUCIFIED IN MY HOMETOWN FOR
CLAIMING TO BE GOD, MY MOTHER
WOULD BE PITCHING A FIT?
SHE WOULD SAY, "HE'S CRAZY, BUT
DON'T KILL HIM.
HE'S A LIAR, BUT DON'T KILL HIM.
HE'S A LUNATIC, BUT DON'T KILL
HIM."
BUT THE SILENCE OF MARY AT THE
CROSS IS SUCH A GREAT TESTIMONY
TO THE FACT OF WHO JESUS IS, AND
IT'S THE BEST OPTION OUT THERE,
THIS SALVATION WE HAVE IN
CHRIST, 'CAUSE IT'S FREE.
IT DOESN'T COST YOU A THING.
AND I THOUGHT THROUGH THE YEARS
THAT--ACTUALLY, TALKING WITH
GLORIA, SHE'S MADE SO MANY OF
THESE CONCEPTS FORM IN MY MIND.
AND THEN HEARING MY MOTHER AND
TALKING WITH HER ABOUT IT
THROUGH THE YEARS AND THE
QUESTIONS.
I'D LOVE TO SIT DOWN WITH MARY.
I WANT TO KNOW SOME THINGS.
I WON'T BE ABLE TO ASK HER THOSE
QUESTIONS TILL I GET TO HEAVEN,
BUT I DID WRITE A FEW OF THEM
DOWN A FEW YEARS AGO, AND--
[applause]
ON THE GAITHER BUS ONE WEEKEND,
I HANDED THIS LYRIC TO BUDDY
GREENE.
AND HE CALLED ME ON MONDAY AND
SANG THIS TO ME OVER THE PHONE.
♪ MARY, DID YOU KNOW ♪
♪ THAT YOUR BABY BOY ♪
♪ WILL ONE DAY WALK ON WATER? ♪
♪ MARY, DID YOU KNOW ♪
♪ THAT YOUR BABY BOY ♪
♪ WILL SAVE OUR SONS ♪
♪ AND DAUGHTERS? ♪
♪ DID YOU KNOW ♪
♪ THAT YOUR BABY BOY ♪
♪ HAS COME TO MAKE YOU NEW? ♪
♪ THIS CHILD ♪
♪ THAT YOU DELIVERED ♪
♪ WILL SOON DELIVER YOU. ♪
♪ MARY, DID YOU KNOW ♪
♪ THAT YOUR BABY BOY ♪
♪ WILL GIVE SIGHT ♪
♪ TO A BLIND MAN? ♪
♪ MARY, DID YOU KNOW ♪
♪ THAT YOUR BABY BOY ♪
♪ WILL CALM A STORM ♪
♪ WITH HIS HAND? ♪
♪ DID YOU KNOW ♪
♪ THAT YOUR BABY BOY ♪
♪ HAS WALKED ♪
♪ WHERE ANGELS TROD? ♪
♪ WHEN YOU KISS ♪
♪ YOUR LITTLE BABY, ♪
♪ YOU'VE KISSED ♪
♪ THE FACE OF GOD. ♪
♪ THE BLIND WILL SEE, ♪
♪ THE DEAF WILL HEAR, ♪
♪ AND THE DEAD ♪
♪ WILL LIVE AGAIN. ♪
♪ THE LAME WILL LEAP. ♪
♪ THE DUMB WILL SPEAK ♪
♪ THE PRAISES OF THE LAMB. ♪
♪ MARY, DID YOU KNOW ♪
♪ THAT YOUR BABY BOY ♪
♪ IS LORD OF ALL CREATION? ♪
♪ MARY, DID YOU KNOW ♪
♪ THAT YOUR BABY BOY ♪
♪ WILL ONE DAY ♪
♪ RULE THE NATIONS? ♪
♪ DID YOU KNOW ♪
♪ THAT YOUR BABY BOY ♪
♪ IS HEAVEN'S PERFECT LAMB? ♪
♪ THIS SLEEPING CHILD ♪
♪ YOU'RE HOLDING ♪
♪ IS THE GREAT ♪
♪ I AM. ♪
[applause]
FATHER, I THANK YOU SO
MUCH FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF
CALLING YOU MY FATHER.
LORD, I PRAY THAT IF THERE'S
ANYBODY LISTENING TO ME TONIGHT
THROUGH VIDEOTAPE OR IN THIS
AUDITORIUM THAT DOESN'T KNOW
YOU, I PRAY THAT THEY'LL LOOK AT
US NOT AS SOME SUPERIOR-TYPE
PEOPLE, BUT JUST LIKE THEM.
WE'RE ALL IN THE SAME BOAT,
LORD.
WE'RE ALL IN THE SAME BOAT.
WE'RE ALL SINNERS IN NEED OF A
SAVIOR.
THERE'S NONE RIGHTEOUS--NO, NOT
ONE.
A MAN WHO SAYS HE HAS NO SIN IS
A LIAR, AND THE TRUTH IS NOT IN
HIM.
AND I KNOW THAT MY SIN HAS
DRIVEN ME TO KNOW YOU.
IT'S DRIVEN ME TO FIND
REDEMPTION, DRIVEN ME TO FIND A
REDEEMER.
AND I THANK YOU THAT YOU DIDN'T
SEND MICHAEL THE ANGEL OR
GABRIEL, BUT YOU CAME YOURSELF,
THAT YOU WERE BORN OF A ***.
YOU LIVED A PERFECT LIFE.
YOU DIED ON THE CROSS, AND YOU
ROSE FROM THE DEAD.
AND I PRAY THAT IF THERE'S
ANYONE HERE TONIGHT THAT DOESN'T
KNOW YOU, THERE--RIGHT WHERE
THEY'RE SEATED, THEY'LL SAY,
"COME INTO MY HEART, LORD JESUS.
FORGIVE ME OF MY SIN.
WASH ME IN YOUR BLOOD.
I KNOW I'M JUST LIKE MARK LOWRY.
I'M A SINNER, AND I NEED A
SAVIOR.
WILL YOU SAVE ME, LORD JESUS?
COME INTO MY HEART.
AND FROM THIS DAY FORWARD,
THROUGH THE POWER THAT YOU GIVE
ME, I'LL LIVE FOR YOU."
IN JESUS' NAME I PRAY,
AMEN.
[applause]
WE'RE DONE!
[sad jeers]
THANK YOU.
SO LISTEN, I WANT TO THANK YOU
SO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS EVENING
WITH ME AND MY SPECIAL FRIENDS
THAT WERE HERE TONIGHT.
AND I KNOW THAT YOU'VE ALL GOT
LIVES OF YOUR OWN.
THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS YOU
COULD BE DOING TONIGHT THAT YOU
PUT ASIDE TO COME BE WITH US,
AND WE APPRECIATE IT SO MUCH.
AND SO I WANT YOU TO HELP ME
THANK MY GUESTS TONIGHT,
STARTING WITH SANDI PATTY.
[cheering and applause]
ANTHONY BURGER,
ANNIE AND KELLY McRAE,
AND THE GUY WHO'S ALLOWED ME TO
MAKE A CAREER OUT OF MAKING FUN
OF HIM: BILL GAITHER AND HIS
VOCAL BAND.
AND, OF COURSE, MY SPECIAL GUEST
TONIGHT: MAMA.
>> ♪ YOU'D ALWAYS SAID ♪
♪ HE'D MAKE IT SOMEDAY, MOM, ♪
♪ IF HE LET NOTHING ♪
♪ STAND IN HIS WAY, MOM. ♪
>> Mark: ♪ YOU NEVER ONCE ♪
♪ GAVE UP ON ME. ♪
>> ♪ ONLY GOD KNOWS HOW ♪
♪ YOU MADE IT THROUGH. ♪
>> ♪ WE KNOW YOU'RE NOT ♪
♪ THE ONE TO BLAME. ♪
>> ♪ IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT ♪
♪ THAT HE'S INSANE. ♪
>> ♪ BROADWAY WILL NEVER ♪
♪ BE THE SAME, MOM. ♪
>> Mark: ♪ OH, MY MAMA. ♪
>> ♪ BROADWAY WILL NEVER ♪
♪ BE THE SAME, MOM. ♪
>> ♪ MAMA, AIN'T YOU GLAD ♪
♪ TO KNOW YOUR BOY'S ♪
♪ DONE GOOD? ♪
[applause]
Captioning provided by
Spring House Music Group.
Captioning by CaptionMax
www.captionmax.com
♪ MOM. ♪
♪ I KNOW THAT ♪
♪ YOUR LAST NERVE IS SHOT. ♪
♪ I'M SORRY FOR THAT ♪
♪ TWITCH YOU'VE GOT. ♪
♪ IT'S BEEN A BALL, ♪
♪ SO THANKS A LOT, MOM. ♪
♪ MOM. ♪
♪ MOM. ♪
♪ I DON'T THINK YOU EVER ♪
♪ ONCE COMPLAINED. ♪
♪ I DON'T KNOW HOW ♪
♪ YOU'VE STOOD THE TEST. ♪
♪ YOUR FRAGILE NERVES ♪
♪ DESERVE A REST. ♪
♪ YOUR NURSING HOME ♪
♪ WILL BE THE BEST, MOM. ♪
>> ♪ MAMA, AIN'T YOU GLAD ♪
♪ TO KNOW YOUR BOY'S ♪
♪ DONE GOOD? ♪
♪ YEAH. ♪ ♪