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Junior, hey.
Jimmy,
how you doin', kid?
How many of these things
we gotta go to?
Brendan filone's mother
at the kid's funeral,
the way she carried on.
***' manners.
I just want you to know,
i always thought you had
that right too, you know?
Jimmy, let me tell you
something. Don't worry
about what i know.
I was just over
to tony's house.
Oh, yeah?
How was he?
He looked, uh, tired.
Maybe he's
got hypoglycemia.
- Maybe he's depressed.
- What's he got to be
depressed about?
He talked to me
about it.
- Depression?
- Well--
what the ***
do you know
about depression?
Nothin'.
I'm just sayin', that's all.
But he's sleeping all the time.
He's not taking care
of himself.
A lot of top guys
had dark moods.
That winston churchill,
he drank a quart of brandy
before breakfast.
And, uh, napoleon,
he was a moody *** too.
- Am i nuts? -
a day at the mall in mules
and i'll be crippled for life.
Oh, i told lilliana to put
some giambott' in the microwave
for when you get up.
Tony, how are you fixed
for sweat socks?
We're gonna be right by
the sports authority.
Tony?
Tony, i know
you're in there.
I know you hear me.
Will you let me sleep?
Does your lady therapist
know about this?
Maybe you need
more medication.
She already got me
on lithium and prozac.
What else you want?
Aromatherapy, something.
This is not normal,
for a healthy adult male
to take to bed like this.
I got a lot on my mind.
Really?
Well, move over then.
Those indictments are
hangin' over my head too.
Plus i got the roots
in the pipe to the street.
My best friend ***
has disappeared. He's
probably ***' dead, okay?
This downturn started long
before *** bompensiero
disappeared.
If you want me, i will be
at the paramus mall...
getting your son a suit
to wear to his first formal.
Carmela, come on!
Sunlight is good
for people, tony.
In alaska, they wear these
little light hats in the winter
so they don't get depressed.
Sorry, junior.
The jackson
street bridge was out.
If you say you're gonna
be someplace, be someplace.
Sorry.
Junior,
you all right?
Porkchop boy was here,
that ***' altieri.
Runnin' his mouth about
the brendan filone hit.
Is that what him and my other
capos talk about behind my back
at the ***' old folks home?
Well, the
meeting's adjourned
at the green grove.
Chucky and i spoke
to donnie p. , and the thing,
it's happenin' tomorrow.
That quick? Good.
Yeah.
Black guys.
It'll never lead back.
Think they got
apisciatoio
in this place?
Look at her like that.
Mariolina gave me
my first hand job--
me and vincent maniscalooo
in the alley behind
the chicken market.
- Junior.
- God, what am i saying
at this poor woman's wake?
I just wanted to let you know
so you didn't have to worry.
- Everything's taken care of
about tony.
- Let's go.
When i was a little kid,
no older than that,
i always used to wonder
why nobody collected
prayer cards...
like they collect
baseball cards.
Thousands of bucks
for honus wagner...
and jack *** for jesus.
It's going down
in a newsstand that he goes to
by the medical center.
Where he spills his guts
on some ***'
shrink's carpet.
Junior, these guys
are very, very good.
Donnie paduana did time
with them at rahway.
And i was very specific.
He's not gonna suffer.
He's gonna have an open casket.
I promise.
Enough! I don't wanna
hear any more.
Jesus, michael,
if i delegate,
i delegate.
Is that what time it is?
There is absolutely nothing
on the street about
the big guy, t, anywhere.
I went to see
his family.
Angela doesn't know ***,
or she deserves an
academy ***' award.
His goomah either.
I don't wanna hear
no more talkin' about ***.
Mr. Tony,
let me take that robe
and wash it for you.
Did i ask you
to take the robe?
Jimmy altieri
was in the bing.
Can't even look him
in the face anymore.
If he's wired,
it's doing jack ***
for the government...
'cause all we feed him now
is deliberate ***
till we can--
you know.
Don't do nothin'
about jimmy.
I don't even know
if he's the guy
that flipped.
I don't know nothin'
no more.
*** probably freaked out
and he's lammin' it,
that's all.
How many times
do i gotta say it?
You goin' somewhere, t?
You want me to drive you?
No.
- I usually drive you.
- I'm goin' downstairs.
What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna get my pants outta
the ***' dryer, okay?
Hello.
Hi.
Is this yours?
I found it in the yard.
Oh, no. Really?
I thought
the cusamanos were away.
Yeah, they went
in bermuda to play golf.
You're from italy,
aren't you?
My english is pitiful.
No.
You speak very good.
Your english is better
than my italian.
"Principles of oral surgery"?
I'm a student. I'm here
as a part of an exchange program
between our two countries.
Boy, if my dentist looked
like you, i'd stay awake
during a root canal.
All right.
I'll, uh-- i'll let you study.
Thank you for bring me--
i don't know
how to say in english.
Well, that makes two of us.
Bye.
Remember,
they don't want
nothin' above the neck.
Whoa.
Doughnuts? No wonder
he can't lose weight.
Where's he goin' now?
- Yo, sir? Excuse me.
- What?
Could you pull forward
so we can get out?
Give me a minute.
Police department.
Where's your badge?
Man, i said move
this piece of ***
***' now!
Get the ***
outta my face.
***!
We gonna have to waste
this *** too?
Let soprano get his doughnuts.
We'll pop him when he gets out.
- Where's he goin'?
- Let's see if he left his
***' keys in the car.
Man, this is *** up.
No. No.
Jesus. You make a left
at the stop sign.
You must be lookin'
straight at us. What are
you, ***' ray charles?
Jesus christ!
How the hell could
it not have gone down?
I know, junior.
I'm sorry.
Some civilian got in the way.
Donnie will explain it to us.
- He's around the corner.
He got lost.
- I wanted it to be over.
I know.
Junior, mints?
We've been standin'
around here forever.
You don't think we got
better things to do?
What the ***, man?
They'll do it
***' tomorrow.
My personal guarantee.
Let me tell you something,
donnie. If they don't,
some hikers are gonna
find your personal guarantee
rolled up in a tube...
and shoved up your ***.
Mike, they got blocked in.
There were witnesses.
Tomorrow.
What did i just say?
I already talked to them.
I realize it's urgent.
I hear tony s's own mother
wants him popped.
Who the *** told you that?
- It was just a joke, right? -
you think that's funny,
a guy's own mother?
Okay, okay.
Tomorrow.
***' "a"!
All right.
I don't like it.
This ***' guy's big mouth.
Nah, he's okay.
I don't like it.
Next he'll be makin' jokes
about me.
Chucky, tell him
to wait a minute.
Yo, donnie,
hold on a minute.
Hey, donnie. Sorry.
- Are you still taking
the lithium?
- Lithium, prozac.
When is it gonna end?
We're tryin' to give
a jolt to your system.
Give it a, uh--
a little kick start.
Why don't you kick me
in the ***' head?
What you're going through...
is very painful,
i know that.
You get stabbed in the ribs,
that's painful.
This ***--
i don't feel nothin'.
Nothin'.
Dead. Empty.
What else?
- What?
- What were you just
thinkin' about then?
This gorgeous
piece of cus.
It's next door to cusamano's.
She's stayin' there
while they're away.
- So you do feel something.
- Don't split hairs with me,
'cause i've had it with you.
Like ***' king midas
in reverse here. Everything
i touch turns to ***.
I'm not a husband
to my wife.
I'm not a father
to my kids.
I'm not a friend
to my friends.
I'm nothin'.
I don't even know
why i come here.
Nothin' else to do,
i guess.
Do you think it would help
if you went someplace
so you could rest up a while?
- Oh, you mean like vegas?
- No, not vegas.
Someplace where you
could be looked after.
Like a hospital?
- With the padded rooms
and the straitjackets?
- No. No straitjackets.
A residential
treatment center.
You got any idea what
my life would be worth...
if certain people found out
i checked into
a laughing academy?
- Your life is boxing us in.
- Well, i'll take a gun, and
i'll blow my ***' head off.
If that's what you're saying,
then i think youshould
be hospitalized.
Oh, yeah? Well, you get
a couple of guys, you come
to my house, you try it.
All right.
I'm gonna push the prozac
to 60 milligrams.
Sure. Why not?
Hey, is that you?
Ciao.
Look who's here.
I was just talkin'
about you. No kiddin'.
What are you doin' here?
Oh, i have the class
in gum graftingalla scuola.
I just finish.
Let me ask you.
This sandwich,
it says it's a hero.
Why do they call
a sandwich hero?
You don't wanna
eat that. No.
No?
Come on.
What's your name?
Isabella.
I'm tony.
You never went
in italy?
No.
Why not?
You don't want to go?
I guess i just
never got off my ***.
- Excuse my french.
- Your french?
- It's an expression.
- Oh.
And where are your people from?
Wait a minute. Don't tell me.
- Avellino?
- How'd you know that?
I didn't.
I guess it.
You look like this guy
from there.
He came after
the "hearthquake" to repair--
oh, how do you say?
- The seat of the house?
- I love how you say that.
- Hearthquake.
- You are making a joke.
No. No, i'm sorry.
Go ahead.
Fondamenta.
You understand?
Fondamenta.
- Foundation.
- Foundation, si.
Foundation was cracked,
and he repaired the stone.
My grandfather was a stone
mason. He was avellinese,
him and his brother.
Tony, you should visit
avellino if your family
come from there.
There isn't too much left
because of the many
hearthquake.
But from the 17th century
is still there
a beautiful palazzo,
palazza della donna.
And there is a place in
the corner of the piazza...
is a wine bar
you can sit.
You can see the hills.
And when it's spring,
you can smell
the blossoms
from the lemon tree.
And there is a church
with a bell.
And they say,
when it rings,
that means
that the baby...
was conceived
in the town.
Tony?
Tony?
Are you on medication?
No. No.
Tell me more about your,
uh-- your dental studies.
I was interested mainly
in tumors...
of the gum and
soft tissue of the mouth.
Yeah?
Tumors of the gum, huh? Wow.
Dad, we're eating!
Hold it, ma. Anthony.
- What does a gentleman
do for a lady?
- In his own house?
A young lady's invited anthony
to his very first formal, ma.
Well, then.
Okay?
Thank you, young man.
Okay.
Tony!
Honey, i told you
that your mother
was coming for dinner.
Hi, ma.
Well, look who's
decided to join us.
And with that breath!
- You know, i don't really
need that right now, ma.
- Aren't we being sensitive?
Meadow, can you take some
chicken and pass it, please?
Where's uncle jun'?
He said
he wasn't feeling well.
In its lifetime, the average
american chicken's feet
never even touch the ground?
- That's dicked up.
- If i was that young lady...
and you came and took me
to that dance...
and used
that kind of talk,
i'd slap your face.
That's right, ma.
Thank you.
Well, the whole
world's gone crazy.
Some woman in pennsylvania,
she shot her three children...
and set her house
on fire.
Here we go.
How come my son's
in a bathrobe?
Is he sick?
- He's fine.
- Dad, you're depressed.
Depressed? My father
came to this country...
with 17 cents in his pocket,
and he never made a peep.
Ma.
What's he got
to be depressed about?
Nobody threwhim
into the glue factory...
and soldhishouse
out from underneath him.
Ma, we all agreed
we would sell your home.
I'm goin' back upstairs.
I was making a joke.
Oh, i suppose it
would be better...
if i never opened my mouth.
Grandma, how can it be
a joke if you're crying?
Oh, i mean, this is
really the last time.
I am never coming back
to this house.
What a day.
With this wind, huh?
Whatcha lookin' at?
Oh, nothin'.
Who's she?
Dental student
from italy.
You know her.
We had lunch.
Lunch?
You *** piece of ***.
Going out to dinner with you
is a distant memory for me,
but you have time
to take her to lunch?
You are sinking
this whole family
into your misery...
with your wallowing
and your complaining,
while i spoon- feed you
and bathe you.
All it takes is a half- inch
of another woman's thigh
to get your *** out of bed?
What am i,
a *** idiot?
If i had an ounce
of self- respect,
i would cut your *** off!
You know, i was there
last night for dinner.
I couldn't go.
Those poor freakin' kids.
Yeah, they barely have
a father now.
You should see
the way he comes down
to the dinner table.
- I don't wanna know.
- In his bathrobe
at 7:00 in the evening.
Some bargain.
That's all anyone should
have to pay for a movie.
My cousin cakey
after he had his lobotomy,
he looked exactly like my son.
- Livia.
- Empty. A shell.
Better cakey had died
than go on living like that.
- That's what his own mother
always used to say.
- Don't talk about it anymore.
I don't wanna hear
about it anymore. Don't
talk about tony. It's done.
Mr. Tony, ms. Carmela
said to tell you...
she went to new york
to buy a suit for a. J.
Go away.
Okay.
Ms. Carmela told me
to remind you of
your appointment.
Hey, how
you doin', tony?
Pick six today?
No, just an orange juice
and a racing form today.
This wind, huh?
Yeah.
Thanks. Take care.
Okay.
- You dead now, ***!
-
aw, ***!
Oh, my god, daddy.
Where is he?
Please let me be all right.
They didn't say anything
when they called?
No, they didn't.
Oh, tony.
Oh, my god.
Look who's here.
Oh, my god, tony.
Is he all right?
Jesus christ, tony.
Daddy, your ear's all bloody.
What'd they do to your ear?
I'm just putting in
a few stitches
to create a nice closure.
Oh, jesus,
we were so scared.
They almost killed you
for a stupid car.
Nobody told them about
the kind of gas mileage
that thing gets, huh, med?
It's not funny, dad.
What's the matter
with you?
Forget how to talk
'cause your old man
got banged up a little?
- No.
-
he's just frightened, tony.
The doctor needs
to finish up here, ma'am.
Come on, kids.
Let's give
the doctor some room.
- Come on.
- See ya later.
Poor dad.
He'll be all right.
Christ.
You people can't wait
until they finish
sewing my ear back on?
Face it, tony.
One inch to the left...
and you're down in a drawer
instead of talking to me.
Who's talkin' to you?
- What's he doing here?
- Oh, agent harris
is just leaving.
We're offering
your husband full
immunity from prosecution...
in return for any testimony
that he might give us.
We relocate you and your family.
You'll be completely safe,
all of you.
- Hey, don't talk to me wife.
- So he wouldn't have to go
to jail either?
Carmela, ask this prick
if i'm even indicted.
This assassination problem
is not gonna go away. I think
both of you realize that.
I told you
to stop talking to my wife.
- Carmela, wait outside.
- Kiss my ***, tony.
We're the only option
you have left, tony.
It's not safe for you anymore
in the streets or in jail.
This conversation is over.
- What do you know?
- He doesn't know anything.
It was a ***' carjacking.
Now, get out!
You're upsetting
my wife!
In case
you change your mind.
- You know he's right, tony.
- Nothin's gonna happen.
Wake up, tony!
It already did!
- I took an oath, carmela.
- What are you, a kid
in a tree house?
Did you ever tell anybody
about me gonna see melfi?
Is that why they tried
to kill you? Because
you're seeing a psychiatrist?
Look, what are you
talkin' about?
It was a carjacking.
- At least have the decency
not to lie to me.
- What do you wanna do?
You wanna move to utah?
Be mr. And mrs. Mike smith?
We could sell some
indian relics by the road,
maybe start a rattlesnake ranch.
This is our chance
to get out, tony.
We could start a whole new life.
Have some mormons
over to dinner. Eat some
tomatoes that have no taste.
You know what i want?
I want those kids
to have a father.
They got one.
This one. Me.
Tony soprano.
And all that comes with it.
Oh, you prick.
Mmm. Good.
Probably i can't go
to that dance now either.
God, self- involved much?
Hey, it's uncle silvio
and uncle paulie.
Hey, squirt.
They shot my dad.
He's all right, though,
isn't he?
Take more than a jamaican
bobsled team with cap guns
to stop your old man.
Where is he?
With mom.
All right.
They look kinda weird.
I don't believe
it was a carjacking.
This afternoon in montclair,
anthony soprano,
who allegedly holds the rank
of captain or higher in
the northern new jersey mafia,
was wounded
in what the victim claims
was an attempted carjack,
but sources in the f. B. I. Say
was a gangland execution
gone awry.
Soprano escaped
with minor wounds and was taken
to an undisclosed area hospital.
However, one of his assailants,
william johnson
"petite" clayborn,
was fatally wounded
in the attack.
Continuing now with--
is this true?
Why, do you think
they made it up?
But how- how could
this happen?
I don't know.
I don't figure to know.
I feel like
i'm floatin' in space.
- He's gonna look
for who did this to him.
- Anthony? Of course he is.
- Livia, you understand
what's goin' on here?
- My son got shot.
- And he got away.
- What do we do now?
- What the ***
do we do now, livia?
- We go see him.
- Tony?
- Of course! He's my only son.
Thanks, sweetheart.
We could use some peppers
out here, huh, carm?
I'll get'em, dad.
Don't you have
like two hours
worth of homework to do?
I can't help too?
Some ***' ***, huh?
Tony!
Jesus *** christ!
Oh!
Who do we blame
for the hat?
I was down the shore
at tom's river on
denny najarian's boat.
Two shooters.
And his piece
was under the seat.
- Do you believe this guy?
- Nah, two girls from
the hood, that's all.
- Do we know who they are yet?
- The live one took off
in a taurus.
Taurus?
Yeah, moolies
in a new taurus.
Doesn't exactly fit
the profile.
***!
What?
These guys
i had a beef with
at the newsstand.
You were there?
Not yesterday.
The day before.
The newsstand?
The one in montclair?
- Yeah, yeah. I was,
uh, in the neighborhood.
- What were you doing there?
- Uh, takin' my mother
to the doctor.
- Oh.
Hey, put it
right there, baby.
Thank you.
Ah, this husband
of yours, carmela.
How much we love him.
He's the best.
He's like a father to me.
Just make sure
nothin' happens to him.
- I'll get it. -
come on.
All due respect,
ton', it had to be
your uncle, right?
Well, why ***' now?
Maybe he found out.
Found out what?
That he's joe jerk- off,
not the boss.
That you been runnin'
things behind his back.
Anthony!
Uncle jun'!
Don't get up. I heard
your knee was *** up.
Don't worry, ma.
I'm all right. Come here.
Your ear,
it's disfigured.
It's all right.
Hi.
I got mikey palmice,
all my crew out there,
crackin' heads
to find out
who did this.
When we're done with them,
they're gonna wish
they were never born.
- Tony?
- Look who it is.
Father intintola.
- I came as a friend.
How are you, tony?
- All right.
If you'd like
to speak privately,
we could kneel in prayer--
not right now.
Why don't you
grab a sandwich...
and we'll talk later.
- You're sleepin' over, right?
- Uh, can i get anybody
anything?
Sil, maybe
another sambuca.
Hey, i'll get it, carm.
I'll take a curacao
if you got it.
I'll buy him one too.
No, that's all right.
No alcohol for me.
Can he hear
through that ear?
Ma, sit down.
Here you go.
Have something to eat.
- Want some?
- *** it. I thought
for sure it was him.
But there he is,
glasses and all.
Don't eat capicollo, grandma.
It's nothin' but fat
and nitrates.
Capicollo.
Over here.
- Look at that face.
- Who is that?
- Who?
- That girl.
- Who, meadow?
- Who is she?
Is that concetta?
That's your granddaughter.
Meadow?
All right.
Don't get impatient.
I'm your mother.
Hey, grandma, did you hear?
Dad fought off two black guys.
One got shot in the head.
Anthony, what time is it?
Why aren't you dressed
for the dance?
- I can't go.
- Why not?
- Don't you need me here?
- And disappoint the future
miss new jersey?
- Get outta here.
- Well, mom was going to drive
us. She can't now, right?
You're gonna go.
I gotta know something.
And i want the truth.
Did you ever tell anybody
about you and me?
I may have
mentioned something
to my immediate family...
that i had a patient
who was in some trouble...
with all the stuff
we were hearing about
in the news.
I never mentioned a name
or any other specifics...
that could identify you
as that person.
My son's.
Does your family know?
My mother's made a few comments.
But i don't see how she knows.
And if she did--
hey, don't even go there
about the old lady.
You should've seen her
at my house after what happened.
She was losin' her ***' mind.
How are you doing
with all of this?
Tell you the truth,
i feel pretty good.
Yeah.
Really?
Well, that's good.
Talk about
a jolt to the system.
Try gettin' shot at.
It'll give you
a nice kick start.
You know,
when i was depressed,
i said i didn't wanna live.
Well, i'll tell you somethin'.
I didn't wanna die.
Every ***' particle
of my bein' was
fightin' to live.
- I had lunch with that girl
next door, you know.
- You did?
Isabella.
She was tellin' me
about the avellino,
where my--
where my people are from.
It sounded nice.
Anyway, she was talkin',
and, uh,
all of a sudden--
you know, uh,
we went
to another place,
like, in my mind's eye.
I don't know.
We went back in time
to like 1907 or somethin'.
And we were in this room,
you know.
And she had this baby.
She was holdin' it, you know.
On her breast,
she was nursin' it.
She was whisperin'
to it, like,
"it's okay, little baby.
Don't cry. It's gonna
be okay. I love you."
- Did the baby have a name?
- She was calling it antonio.
Anthony, your fantasy.
That's-- that's you,
that little baby.
And isabella.
That she was nursingyou.
Oh, *** me.
You think
this is a stretch?
Hey, can we get
some of that whiskey?
Livia.
You don't knock?
- I could've been in the nude.
- What the hell is going on?
- Look and see
if my slipper is over there.
- *** your slipper!
I don't like that talk.
Was was that ***
yesterday? You don't even
recognize your granddaughter?
Well, i-- i've-- i've been
forgetting things lately.
You'll-- you'll find
that it'll happen
to you soon too.
That's terrific timing.
Right after the move on your son
goes in the toilet.
I don't know
what you're talking about.
Hey, cooze. Cooze.
How was bermuda?
Jeannie, she wrecked up
her motorbike.
She hurt her ankle pretty bad.
Oh, yeah?
I'm sorry.
Yeah. Thanks.
So where's your...
dental student?
Where's my what?
Isabella.
I haven't seen her
in a couple of days.
Come on.
Your houseguest. Isabella.
Dark hair, beautiful.
- You don't know what the ***
i'm talkin' about, do you?
- I got no idea.
You didn't have
an italian girl--
she's here studying the--
we had skippy palumbo from
down the street come into the
house to take care of the dog.
Never mind. Forget it.
It's a joke.
I'll talk to you later.
All right.
You sure about this?
You're not pulling
my leg?
What am i, an idiot?
Of course i'm sure.
You never--
no.
Frankly, i think
i've said enough about it.
I never threatened
to cut your *** off.
Hello?
Yeah, it's your patient.
The one who's been
involved in a few things
in the news lately?
I gotta talk to you.
What's wrong?
There was no isabella.
What?
There was no isabella.
I just talked to cusamano.
Him and the whosits
just got back
from bermuda.
I asked him,"where's
the dental exchange student
that's stayin' at your house?"
- He looked at me
like i was ***'pazzo.
- You said your wife saw her.
- You both argued about it.
- Yeah, i asked her about that.
And?
You thought
she was pissed then?
You should see her now,
now that i told her the whole
thing was just a fantasy.
- Discontinue the lithium.
- I already flushed it.
Even if it was the medicine,
this fantasy of yours
has meaning.
You know, the issue
of mother and child,
the madonna.
You didn't see this broad.
Did you ever flirt
or come on sexually
with isabella?
No.
Why not?
You said she was
very beautiful and voluptuous.
Another question.
- Why now?
- What do you mean?
Why the need for the fantasy
of a loving, caring woman now?
- I don't know.
- I think you should come in
so we could talk face- to- face.
- I can't right now.
- You know, your mother
is always...
talking about infanticide.
Yeah, it's a sad situation
that goes on in the world.
- Are you still feeling okay?
- I feel pretty good, actually.
When i find out
who took a shot at me,
i'm gonna feel even better.