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[woman singing in foreign language]
♪ ♪
- THIS SEASON ON SHAHS OF SUNSET...
- [cheering]
[screams]
[people cheering]
- WHERE IS MO-CEDES?
- PROBABLY GETTING IN MO' PROBLEMS.
- I DON'T WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN THAT.
- MO-CEDES, MO' PROBLEMS.
- [laughing] LET GO.
- NO!
[screams]
- [babbling]
I'M A DIFFERENT GUY THAN LAST YEAR.
I'VE EVOLVED. I'VE GROWN UP.
[fake accent] TAKE OFFA YOUR CLOTHES.
IS OKAY. DON'T WORRY.
- HEELS CAN'T GET HIGH ENOUGH.
*** CAN'T GET BIG ENOUGH.
I'M YOUNG, HOT, I'M RICH.
I LOVE THE WAY YOU MAKE MY NOSE LOOK
LIKE I HAVE A NOSE JOB.
IT'S COMPLI-QUATED.
- COMPLI-QUATED.
- THAT IS A GIGANTIC SAUSAGE.
- WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT BIG SAUSAGES?
- WHY AM I ATTRACTED TO ADAM? DUH.
HE'S SKINNY, BUT HE'S GOT A GIANT BUTT.
IT JIGGLES. - [laughs]
[cheers and applause]
- YOU DON'T KNOW ME. - YOU DON'T KNOW ME, ***!
- I'M GONNA STAB THIS MOTHER[bleep].
- I WILL SHOW YOU [bleep] WHAT. GET YOUR [bleep]--
THAT'S RIGHT! - YEAH.
WHY DON'T YOU, LIKE, GO GET ONE OF YOUR KNIVES?
- I WOULD LOVE TO CUT YOUR FACE WITH A KNIFE RIGHT NOW.
I'M GONNA TOAST TO THE FACT THAT SHE LOOKS
LIKE A TRANSVESTITE AND DOESN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
YOU ARE THE "***" IN "CLASS".
- I LOVE YOU, BUT I DON'T LIKE YOU.
- DID YOU GET THAT FROM A BUMPER STICKER?
- I'M NOT THE ONE POPPING PILLS, BABE.
- I DON'T POP ANY PILLS.
- YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE ON AN AMBIEN THIS MORNING.
- YOU HAD TO FORGIVE.
- [tearful] NO, I HAD TO LEARN WHY.
- [blowing nose]
- YO, REZA! - WHO LIVE LIKE THIS?
- WHO LIVE LIKE THIS? - WHO LIVE LIKE THIS?
- WATCH OUT! [screams]
- [laughing] - DON'T!
- ME AND YOU AREN'T FRIENDS.
WE'RE BLOOD.
[cheering]
[Ya Boy's We Run L.A.]
- ♪ CUT A LOT OF GIRLS, CUT A LOT OF CHECKS ♪
♪ THAT'S THE LIFE HERE ON SUNSET ♪
♪ RICH AND FAMOUS, I AM SUCCESS ♪
♪ MET HER AT LES DEUX, AND SHE DO LOVE SEX ♪
♪ I'MA SIP THIS, YOU DO THE REST ♪
♪ YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO, YOU DO THE BEST ♪
♪ DO ME A FAVOR, LOSE THE DRESS ♪
♪ WE RUN L.A. ♪
[energetic dance music]
♪ ♪
- ONE OF THE BIGGEST CHANGES IN MY LIFE
IS THIS NEW GIRL I'M IN LOVE WITH.
SHE DOESN'T STRAIGHTEN HER HAIR.
SHE DOESN'T PLUCK HER EYEBROWS.
SHE'S NOT ALL ABOUT THE MAKEUP AND THE DESIGNER LABELS.
♪ ♪
- MASHTI. - HEY
- LOOK AT YOU. - WHAT UP?
- WELCOME. - I CAN'T WAIT.
SHE'S MY PERSIAN FIERY SOUL MATE.
- THIS IS THE, LIKE, LIVING ROOM.
- WOW.
- ISN'T IT AMAZING? - I LOVE IT.
- KITCHEN I TOTALLY DESIGNED.
- OH, MY GOD, I LOVE THIS. THIS IS CAL--
- CUR-- - THIS IS CALCUTTA GOLD.
- THIS HOUSE IS 100% ME.
I'VE CREATED EVERY INCH OF IT.
I LOVE YOU FOR KNOWING.
I LOVE YOU FOR KNOWING THIS KIND OF STUFF, REZ.
THE LAST THREE YEARS, MY ENTIRE INCOME
IS FROM RENTING OUT THIS HOUSE AND THE BACKHOUSE.
BUT I'M MOVING BACK IN.
AS AN ARTIST,
YOUR SURROUNDINGS ARE EVERYTHING.
I HAVE TO LIVE IN A PLACE WHERE I FEEL INSPIRED
AND THAT'S A SEXY SPACE.
OTHERWISE, I CAN'T DO THE KIND OF WORK THAT I DO.
THE FIREPLACE DOWN HERE IS WOOD.
- SO FLY.
- I AM TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH REZA.
I THINK IT'S LIKE AN ARIES-LEO THING.
WE'RE BOTH FIRE SIGNS.
WE'RE BOTH SUPER PASSIONATE PERSIANS.
I MEAN, LOOK AT-- LOOK AT US.
IT'S ALMOST LIKE WE'RE WEIRD VERSIONS OF EACH OTHER.
- WE HAVE THE SAME AESTHETIC.
- I-- - UH, HELLO?
- OH. - ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
THIS *** HAS, LIKE,
A $4,000 TOILET.
THAT TOILET HAS, LIKE, A LITTLE MIDGET IN IT
THAT WILL LICK YOUR BUTT CLEAN
WHEN YOU'RE DONE POOPING.
- BY THE WAY, REZ,
DON'T TELL ANYBODY.
REMEMBER I TOLD YOU THERE'S 30 GRAND WORTH OF GOLD COINS?
- MM-HMM.
- IT'S RIGHT HERE. - REALLY?
- RIGHT HERE. - THAT'S SO GANGSTER.
- IF YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH BEAUTIFUL THINGS,
BEAUTIFUL THINGS WILL COME TO YOU.
DOESN'T THE HOUSE HAVE SUCH A COOL VIBE?
- YEAH. - YOU HAVE TO LIVE IN ABUNDANCE
TO ATTRACT ABUNDANCE.
THAT DOESN'T TAKE AWAY FROM ME BEING A GYPSY.
GYPSY JETSETTER. THAT'S THE JETSETTER PART.
SERIOUSLY, I HAVE LITERALLY $500
IN MY BANK ACCOUNT.
AND TODAY'S THE FIRST. - OKAY.
- I'M MOVING, AND I'M SHOWING THE BACKHOUSE
TO TWO PEOPLE THIS AFTERNOON.
HOPEFULLY, ONE OF THEM TAKES IT TODAY.
I NEED TO GET A CHECK, LIKE, IN THE NEXT FIVE DAYS
TO PAY THIS MORTGAGE AND ALL MY--
REST OF MY RESPONSIBILITIES.
I MEAN, IF I CAN'T MAKE THIS WORK,
LIKE, I'M [bleep].
MY STRESS LEVEL ABOUT MONEY IS, FROM 1 TO 10,
ABOUT 75.
MY ONLY SOLUTION IS RENTING OUT THE BACKHOUSE,
AND THEN THE BIG CHECK I WOULD GET
FOR THE SECURITY DEPOSIT,
THAT MIGHT TAKE ME OVER.
AFTER THAT, WHO KNOWS?
[laughs]
[door slams, bird screeches]
- OH, [bleep].
YOUR BIRD DID NOT LIKE THAT VERY MUCH, DID SHE?
NO. WHY DO I NEED TO PUT ON A SIGNAL?
[speaking foreign language]
- YOU HAVE TO STAY ON THE VERY RIGHT LANE.
- SO WHERE ARE YOU GOING ON YOUR CRUISE?
- I'M GOING FROM BARCELONA TO VENICE
WITH CRUISE, TO MEDITERRANEAN CRUISE.
- I'M HELPING MY MOM TRANSPORT HER BIRD,
WHICH IS APPARENTLY THE MOST IMPORTANT THING.
IT HAS TO BE, UH, BOARDED AT MY UNCLE'S HOUSE
BECAUSE MY MOM IS GOING
ON VACATION FOR, LIKE, A MONTH.
WE SHOULD GO ON A CRUISE OR ON A VACATION.
I'M READY.
- YEAH, I'D RATHER TO PUT A NEEDLE IN MY EYES.
- THAN TO GO ON A VACATION WITH ME?
- OF COURSE.
- MY MOM IS A PAIN IN THE ***.
DIFFICULT IS LIKE,
"OH, SHE'S PARTICULAR."
NO. MY MOM IS IMPOSSIBLE.
WHAT'S THE NAME OF YOUR--
- JUJU. - [snickers]
[laughing]
- YEAH, JUJU.
- [laughing]
OH, MY GOD.
"JUJU" MEANS BIRD.
PABLO, ARE YOU HUNGRY FOR SOME CHICKEN?
THAT'S A CHICKEN.
- [speaking foreign language]
[bird squawking, dog barking]
- HELL, YEAH. JULIO, GRAB HIM.
EAT HIM.
[squawking, barking]
- GO AND SIT IN YOUR PLACE.
- PABLO, YOUR GRANDMOTHER DOESN'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE.
[dog barks, bird chirps]
[funky dance music]
♪ ♪
- HOW DO YOU KNOW HER? - I KNOW GG THROUGH LEILA.
OH, NO, NO, NO, ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I MET GG BEFORE LEILA.
- YOU LIKE THAT LOOK? - DID YOU REALLY?
- HEY.
- SPEAKING OF THE DEMON.
- HEY, GUYS, HOW ARE YOU?
- WHAT'S GOING ON? - HELLO.
- HUG YOUR SISTER. - I CAN'T GET UP.
- DUDE, YOU LOOK, LIKE, BLACK.
- YEAH, I GOT A LITTLE DARK.
- REALLY DARK.
YOU'RE, LIKE, DARKER THAN YOUR TANK TOP.
- YOU'RE TAN TOO, MAN.
- I NEED TO GET SOME OF THAT.
- LET'S GO.
- OMID IS A VERY DEAR FRIEND OF MINE.
HE AND I DO HAVE A HISTORY,
SO I THINK WE AUTOMATICALLY JUST FEEL A LITTLE BIT GIDDY
WHEN WE'RE AROUND EACH OTHER.
HE'S VERY, VERY CHARMING.
[laughs]
YEAH.
LEILA?
HEY.
- OKAY. - YOU BUSY?
- JUST CLEANING UP.
- SO WHAT'S GOING ON
WITH THE EXTENSION COMPANY RIGHT NOW?
I AM PARTNERED WITH MY SISTER RIGHT NOW
IN A HAIR COMPANY.
IT'S CALLED GG'S EXTENSIONS.
MY SISTER IS INVOLVED WITH THE FINANCIAL DEPARTMENT,
AND I'M IN CHARGE OF MARKETING AND ADVERTISEMENT.
AS STRANGE AS IT SOUNDS,
I'M ACTUALLY EXCITED ABOUT WORKING.
- WE'RE HAVING ISSUES. - WHY?
- YOU--YOU HAVE TO STILL DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO.
YOU NEED TO SET UP THAT--
- WHAT IS IT THAT I NEED TO DO RIGHT NOW?
- YOUR JOB. - NO, I-I'M JUST--
WHAT IS--
- WHAT IS YOUR JOB?
- YOU GUYS TELL ME, I GO TO MARKET IT,
I ADVERTISE IT, WHEREVER I HAVE TO GO, I GO.
- OKAY, SO YOU NEED TO SET IT UP, TO DO THAT.
- HOW DO I SET IT UP?
- YOU PICK UP A PHONE, AND YOU MAKE SOME PHONE CALLS,
AND YOU SAY, "HEY, I HAVE A HAIR EXTENSION COMPANY.
I'D LIKE TO COME IN THERE AND ADVERTISE IT."
YOU SET UP A TRUNK SHOW. YOU THROW A PARTY.
YOU INVITE YOUR FRIENDS.
THAT'S YOUR JOB. YOUR JOB IS MARKETING,
AND YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANY OF THAT.
- I DON'T KNOW ANY OF THESE THINGS.
- YOU HAVEN'T EVEN READ YOUR CONTRACT.
WHO GETS INTO A BUSINESS AND DOESN'T READ THEIR CONTRACT?
- I READ IT-- I READ IT--
- I'M TIRED OF DOING EVERYTHING FOR YOU.
I HAVE ENOUGH TO DO. I'M NINE MONTHS PREGNANT.
I'M NOT DOING MY JOB AND YOUR JOB.
YOU WANT TO PUT YOUR BIG-GIRL *** ON,
WELL, THEN, STEP IN 'EM AND TAKE YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES.
YOU'RE 30 YEARS OLD. GROW UP.
I'M COMPLETELY FED UP.
I THINK IT'S EMBARRASSING.
I MADE MY FIRST FAKE I.D. WHEN I WAS 14
TO GET A JOB AT THE MALL, YOU KNOW.
I-I WAS WORKING.
AND WITH GOLNESA,
HER HARDEST TASK OF THE DAY
IS WAKING UP AND FIGURING OUT
WHAT OUTFIT SHE'S GONNA WEAR.
[sighs] READ YOUR CONTRACT.
- AND THAT'S IT? - THAT'S IT.
- ARE YOU SERIOUS?
I MEAN, WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON WITH IT?
MY SISTER'S LOOKING FOR ANY EXCUSE
TO MAKE SURE THAT SHE LOOKS BETTER
AND I LOOK WORSE.
[door slams] WHAT THE [bleep]?
SO SHE'S THE FIRST TO STEP UP AND SAY,
"HA, HA, HA. YOU'RE HORRIBLE. I'M BETTER."
- YOU GUYS OKAY?
- GOLNESA, I DON'T NEED THE STRESS RIGHT NOW.
I REALLY DON'T NEED THE STRESS.
- I DON'T-- I'M NOT EVEN FINISHED
TALKING ABOUT IT WITH YOU RIGHT NOW.
- OKAY, WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO TALK ABOUT?
- WE HAVE ISSUES. SIT. SIT DOWN.
- JUST GIVE US A MINUTE, OMID.
- YES, MA'AM.
- THE FIRST JOB THAT YOU EVER HAD,
WAS IT DEAD, FULL ON INTO A-A COMPANY,
AND THEY'RE SAYING,
"THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO--
"CONTRACT OR NO CONTRACT, THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO"?
AND YOU'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING BEFORE IN YOUR LIFE, AND--
- NO, GOLNESA, THE FIRST COMPANY THAT I HAD,
NOBODY TOLD ME WHAT I HAD TO DO.
- NO, I SAID THE FIRST JOB YOU HAD.
- THE FIRST JOB I HAD WAS 16 YEARS OLD.
- THIS IS THE FIRST JOB I HAVE. - NOT AT 30.
- OKAY, BUT---
- YOU'RE 30.
THE REAL WORLD, SHOPPING ISN'T MORE IMPORTANT.
BECAUSE YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO PUT FOOD ON YOUR TABLE
OR PAY YOUR BILLS.
SERIOUSLY.
I THINK YOU SHOULD GET A JOB AT MCDONALD'S.
LEARN HOW TO FLIP A BURGER
AND SAY, ".99¢, SIR."
- I WISH THAT I CAN SAY
THE REASON MY SISTER IS BEING SO CRAZY
IS 'CAUSE SHE'S HORMONAL FROM HER PREGNANCY,
BUT SHE'S A ***.
- YOU RESENT HER.
YOU GO BACK AT HER.
- [speaking foreign language]
THIS PERSON OPINION IS HORRIBLE.
- THANK YOU. - SEE YOU LATER.
- WHAT'S UP WITH THE PERSIAN LICENSE PLATE?
HOW LONG HAVE YOU HAD THAT CAR?
YOU STILL DON'T HAVE A PLATE ON THERE.
THAT'S A PERSIAN MANEUVER.
BECAUSE AS SOON AS YOU PUT THE PLATE ON,
THE CAR'S NOT NEW ANYMORE.
- REZ IS MY BROMANCE. I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH HIM.
YOU LIKE MY CAR? I JUST GOT IT.
- YEAH.
- FOR SOME REASON, WE RESONATE
SO WELL TOGETHER.
YO, HOW HOT IS IT?
- I FEEL LIKE WE'RE BACK IN THE [bleep] HOMELAND.
THAT'S HOW HOT IT IS.
I'M GETTING HOMESICK AND [bleep].
- YOU'RE ABOUT TO SEE, LIKE, CAMELS CROSSING.
- [yodeling]
- WHITE PEOPLE. LOOK AT THIS.
[fake accent] DRIVE FORWARD,
NOT BACKWARDS, MY FRIEND.
- WHITE PEOPLE DO CRAZY [bleep].
LIKE, YOU KNOW IF YOU GO TO A STORE,
AND, LIKE, THE CLERK GIVES YOU, LIKE,
A 20 EXTRA BY MISTAKE?
YOU KNOW A WHITE PERSON'S GONNA RETURN THAT [bleep]
REAL FAST. [laughs]
THE PERSIAN'LL BE LIKE,
"YOU KNOW WHAT? THEY PROBABLY [bleep] ME
"SOMEWHERE ELSE DOWN THE LINE.
"THIS IS LIKE-- THIS EXTRA 20 IS MAKING UP
FOR ALL THE TIMES I GOT SCREWED."
[cell phone dings]
- THIS [bleep] CLIENT, MAN.
ISRAELI GUY. DRIVING ME UP THE WALL.
- A PERSIAN AND AN ISRAELI
TRYING TO DO A REAL ESTATE DEAL?
WHOO!
- SO CHECK THIS OUT.
I'M TRYING TO SELL THIS BUSINESS.
I HAVE THE ISRAELI BUSINESS OWNER.
I HAVE THE WHITE HAIRDRESSER.
AND THEN I HAVE A 98-YEAR-OLD LANDLORD
WHO WON'T [bleep] BUDGE.
- DUDE, JUST WAIT UNTIL HE DIES.
IT'S GONNA BE LIKE A WEEK OR TWO.
- RIGHT NOW, COMMERCIAL REAL ESTATE'S SUPER FRUSTRATING.
I COULD HUSTLE FOR WEEKS ON END,
60 PROPERTIES SHOWN,
TEXT MESSAGES, DEALING WITH ATTORNEYS,
DEALING WITH PEOPLE THAT ARE GREEN,
ALL TO MAKE A $10,000 COMMISSION.
WAH, WAH.
[sighs] I HATE THE VALLEY.
- ARE THE CARS DONE YET?
- ARE THERE ANY CIGARETTES HERE? 'CAUSE I NEED ONE.
OMID...
YOU COULD UNDERSTAND ME ON THIS.
- WHY? WHAT'S THE--WHAT'S-- - SIT DOWN.
YOUR BROTHER IS VERY SIMILAR. - OH, MY GOD.
- MY SISTER AND YOUR BROTHER-- - I DON'T EVEN--
- YOU'RE ACTUALLY A LITTLE BIT IN THE SAME BOAT.
- GG, WHEN YOU'RE DOING WORK WITH YOUR SIBLING,
IT'S--IT'S REALLY NOT EASY.
BECAUSE I'VE BEEN WORKING WITH MY BROTHER FOR A WHILE,
AND WE DON'T SEE EYE TO EYE ON A LOT OF THINGS.
AND IT'S TOUGH, DUDE. IT REALLY IS TOUGH.
BUT I WILL TELL YOU,
SHOULD YOU FIND THE ACCESS TO MAKE IT WORK
AND MAKE IT THROUGH THOSE BATTLES OF PERSONAL CONFLICT
BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU,
YOU GUYS COULD BE MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN ANY TWO PEOPLE
THAT YOU COULD [bleep] FIND ON THIS EARTH.
THE SKY'S THE LIMIT.
- HOW'S MY HAIR? - AND--AND--
- MY HAIR GOOD? - IT LOOKS GOOD, DOG.
- YOU NEED GG'S EXTENSIONS.
- [laughs]
- LET'S PUT SOME GG'S EXTENSIONS ON.
- THERE YOU GO! - CHOKE YOU OUT, GIRL!
I'LL CHOKE YOU OUT!
- OMID IS A ROCK FOR ME
AND THERE TO KIND OF CALM ME DOWN
AND HELP ME FIND MY PEACE.
- WHOA!
[laughing]
- OH, YEAH? - GET YOUR WATCH OFF.
- [bleep] [bleep], MAN.
- OH, MY GOSH.
I CANNOT. I CANNOT.
I CAN'T. - DUDE, I WANT TO--
- I TOTALLY THINK YOU SHOULD.
- DO NOT THROW ME IN THE POOL!
- NO, YOU WON'T! NO, YOU WON'T!
- DO IT!
- [screams] - YEAH!
[laughing]
- OH, MY GOD! - WHOO!
LET ME GO.
[spits] AH!
- HOW ARE YOU? I HOPE WE ARE ON TIME, HUH?
THERE WAS A LITTLE TRAFFIC, YEAH.
- HI.
MY MOM AND I HAVE BEEN VISITING
MY AUNT AND UNCLE SINCE I WAS LITTLE.
[speaking foreign language]
- [laughs] HELLO.
- MY UNCLE MANSUR IS MY MOM'S BROTHER,
AND HIS WIFE IS AUNTIE ZIBA.
[Persian-themed music]
♪ ♪
- HE'S SO CUTE.
- MY BROTHER LIKES IT HOT.
- [laughs]
- I ACTUALLY LIKE IT HOT TOO.
- ANYBODY WANT THESE GOODIES? IT'S VERY GOOD.
- HOW IS THE FOOD, VIDA-JOON?
- FOOD IS VERY GOOD. THE KEBAB IS VERY TENDER.
- I WOULD LIKE TO JUST LEAD THIS ONE TOAST,
IF I MAY BE SO BOLD,
AND SAY THANK YOU TO MY MANSUR-JOON...
[speaking foreign language]
AND MY ZIBA-JOON. THANK YOU GUYS
FOR HAVING US HERE AND HOSTING
THE LEO BIRTHDAYS.
- CHEERS. - SALAMATI.
all: SALAMATI.
- THANK YOU, VIDA-JOON FOR ALL THE HELP.
MY GOD.
YOU ARE A SUPERWOMAN. THAT FOR SURE.
[chuckles]
WONDER WOMAN. - IN SOMEONE'S IMAGINATION.
- [laughs]
- WELL, NEXT SUNDAY, I GO ON MY VACATION
TO EUROPE, OUT OF COUNTRY, OVERSEAS.
- WOW. - WHOA.
- ARE YOU SERIOUS? - WHOA?
- SALAMATI.
- SALAMATI. [laughter]
all: SALAMATI.
- MOM, YOU'RE GONNA BE GONE DURING MY BIRTHDAY.
ARE YOU GONNA GIVE ME MY PRESENT IN ADVANCE?
- YOUR PRESENT IS I LEAVE.
[scattered laughter]
- I'VE ALWAYS HAD A DIFFICULT RELATIONSHIP
WITH MY MOM.
OVERCRITICAL, OVERWHELMING,
OVERBEARING.
- YOU ARE NAIVE.
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, MERCEDES.
- IT'S REALLY HARD TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF SOMETIMES
WHEN, IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD, YOU'VE GOT YOUR MOM'S VOICE
CRITICIZING YOU ALL THE TIME, OVER EVERYTHING.
EVERYTHING.
EVERYTHING.
YOUR MOM IS NICE TO YOU.
- MY MOTHER HAS NEVER SAID ANYTHING NEGATIVE
ABOUT ANY MAJOR LIFE THING THAT I'VE DONE.
- WHAT? - INCLUDING GIRLFRIENDS.
- OH, MY GOD. - YEAH, IT'S TRUE.
- REALLY? - SHE REALLY IS--
- I'M A SUPERMOM. - SHE REALLY IS.
- YOU'RE SUPERMOM. - SHE REALLY IS ALL POSITIVE.
- I WISH THAT I HAD NO CRITICISM.
- YOUR MOTHER--
- HATES ME.
SHE JUST HATES-- - EVERYBODY.
- EVERYBODY. [laughter]
THERE'S NO-- SISTERS, BROTHERS.
- NEPHEWS, EVERYBODY. ONLY HERSELF.
- CHEERS TO ALL OF THE MOMS
THAT DON'T JUDGE THEIR SONS AND DAUGHTERS.
- HOW MANY WINE DID YOU HAVE?
- [laughs] - BECAUSE, EXCUSE ME,
ON THIS TABLE, SOME MANY--
SOME PEOPLE HAD TOO MUCH WINE-- - MOM, STOP.
- SOME PEOPLE JUST DOUGH.
- [laughing] - I'LL TELL YOU WHY.
- THOSE PEOPLE THAT THEY--YEAH. - STOP.
- THERE IS THE DOUGH, AND THERE IS THE WINE, OKAY?
- ALL I WANT TO SAY IS,
HOW MANY DAUGHTERS WILL ACCEPT
THAT MUCH OPPOSITION
AND THEN WILL STILL BE HUMBLE ENOUGH
TO COME BACK AND SAY, "MOM, YOU'RE RIGHT,"
EVEN THOUGH ALL THE STUFF THAT YOU SAID--
- OOH, HUMBLE ENOUGH?
DON'T COME BACK, THEN.
- OH, SEE? - DO NOT COME BACK.
BECAUSE ANYTHING-- - NOW, THAT'S MEAN.
- THAT IS MEAN. - NO, NO, NO.
BUT, MAKAN-JOON, ANYTHING I'M TELLING HER
IS FOR HER OWN GOOD.
- WE KNOW HER. WE KNOW HOW SHE IS.
YOU, MAYBE, YOU ARE LETTING HER BE WHAT SHE IS.
I'M SURPRISED THAT YOU STILL--
- TALK TO MY MOM.
- SHE'S NOT GIVING YOU ANYTHING.
WHY YOU STILL WANT IT?
LET IT GO.
- [speaking foreign language]
- THAT IS ZIBA. SHE IS LIKE THAT ALL HER LIFE.
SHE IS--THE WAY SHE THINKS ABOUT ME
FOR MANY, MANY YEARS,
AND SHE CAN NEVER CHANGE HER OPINION ABOUT ME,
WHICH I DON'T CARE.
- DON'T SAY THAT. - I'M NOT A STUPID MOM.
- IT'S--THAT'S IT. IT'S YOU.
- I CANNOT DO ANYTHING WHEN SHE DOESN'T LISTEN.
- NO, YOU DO SOMETHING. YOU RESENT HER.
YOU GO BACK AT HER.
- MAYBE, MAYBE BECAUSE YOU TWO ARE CLOSER--
CHARACTER-WISE, I'M TALKING ABOUT--
YOU'RE THE SAME CHARACTER AS SHE IS.
- YOU WANT TO JUST FIND A JUSTIFICATION...
- BUT WE ARE DIFFERENT CHARACTER.
- FOR BEING-- - [speaking foreign language]
- THE REASON IS BECAUSE I'M--
- THIS PERSON OPINION IS HORRIBLE.
THIS IS A PERSON THAT DOESN'T EVEN ASK THEIR CHILDREN
ONE SIMPLE QUESTION ALL HER LIFE.
OF COURSE SHE CANNOT UNDERSTAND ME.
NO, THESE ARE THE REALLY WEIRD FAMILY,
AND ZIBA, THE WAY SHE TALKED,
SHE JUST PROVED WHAT A HORRIBLE PERSON SHE IS.
- [speaking foreign language]
- DON'T CALL ME JOON.
NEVER CALL ME VIDA-JOON AGAIN.
[indistinct chatter]
- I THINK I DESERVE THE BEST FAMILY THERAPIST
THAT MONEY CAN BUY.
- YOU'RE NOT EVER GONNA GET COMPLETE APPROVAL.
- I JUST SAID I LOVE YOU.
- PERIOD. YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET THAT.
- I SAID, "I LOVE YOU. FORGET HER."
AND I'M SAYING IT AGAIN. I LOVE YOU. FORGET HER.
- IT WAS NOT RIGHT, WHAT SHE SAID ABOUT ME.
NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING COMPLETELY.
WHEN IT'S MIDNIGHT, AND I'M WATCHING TELEVISION,
AND I SEE THAT THERE IS SOME ACCIDENT,
AND THE COLOR OF THE CAR IS WHITE,
AND MERCEDES' CAR IS WHITE, I GET UP,
DRIVE TO HER APARTMENT,
JUST GO TO THE GARAGE,
AND WHEN I SEE HER CAR IS PARKED THERE,
THEN I FEEL GOOD.
I KNOW IT'S NOT HER CAR.
NOBODY KNOWS THESE THINGS.
THAT'S MY DUTY AS A MOTHER.
- "CHOOSE YOUR USER NAME."
- I AM MARRIAGE MATERIAL.
- MIDDLE EASTERN BIG JUGS?
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE DISRESPECTFUL
AND ACT LIKE YOU'RE GONNA RAISE YOUR HAND ON A WOMAN.
- I WOULD NEVER DO THAT. - YOU SHOULD HAVE MORE CLASS.
THEN YOU SHOULDN'T MAKE A JOKE THAT YOU ARE GONNA RAISE--
- GET THE [bleep] OUTTA HERE.
- HEY. - HI, REZA-JOON.
- WHAT'S UP, SEXY? - LOOK HOW GOOD YOU LOOK.
- LOOK HOW GOOD YOU LOOK.
DAMN.
LILLY'S A NEW CLIENT OF MINE.
SHE'S A PERSIAN PRINCESS. SHE'S RAIL-THIN.
SHE'S SUPER RICH, AND SHE'S FROM TEXAS,
AND I'M TOTALLY OBSESSED WITH HER RIGHT NOW.
AND SHE WANTS TO BUY A HOUSE FROM ME.
HELLO? CHA-CHING.
THERE'S A COMMISSION CHECK AND A GREAT FRIEND
BOTH AT THE SAME TABLE.
SO HERE IT IS.
MY ONLY CONCERN IS THAT IT MIGHT NOT BE BIG ENOUGH.
- THAT'S DEFINITELY A CONCERN.
- BUT STILL, I THINK IT'LL HELP ME GET A SENSE
OF WHAT YOUR TASTE IS.
LIKE DO YOU LIKE CONTEMPORARY MORE?
DO YOU NEED PERSIAN GLAM?
- AN OFFICE IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME,
BECAUSE I'VE RECENTLY STARTED A BUSINESS.
- REALLY, WHAT?
- SO I HAVE TO HAVE AN OFFICE IN MY HOUSE.
I MAKE BIKINIS NOW.
- HEY! - [laughs]
- ARE YOU ALSO A MODEL FOR THE BIKINIS?
- I JUST OWN THE COMPANY.
SOMETIMES I DO WEAR THEM FOR SHOOTS AND STUFF.
- HEY.
LILLY IS SO SKINNY THAT IT EXCITES ME.
LIKE, I JUST DREAM, LIKE, "GOD, PLEASE LET ME
WAKE UP ONE DAY AND BE RAIL-THIN."
AND THAT *** IS RAIL-RAIL-THIN.
THIS IS LIKE AN OLD HOLLYWOOD HILLS 1930s
THAT'S BEEN UPDATED TO TODAY'S DESIGN AESTHETIC.
- I DO LIKE THAT THE WHOLE HOUSE HAS WOOD FLOORS...
- YEAH.
- BECAUSE WE HAVE A LITTLE DOG.
- WE? - MY EX-BOYFRIEND AND I.
THAT'S THE WHOLE REASON WE'RE BUYING THIS PROPERTY.
HE IS MAKING AN EFFORT TO GET BACK WITH ME.
ALI LIVES IN HOUSTON.
HE WAS MY VERY FIRST BOYFRIEND AT 19.
ONE OF THE CONDITIONS TO US GETTING BACK TOGETHER
IS HE HAS TO COME TO L.A.
- I THINK YOU'D BE A NICE LITTLE ADDITION
TO OUR LITTLE PERSIAN FAMILY WE'VE GOT GOING HERE.
- I WOULD LOVE THAT.
I'M FROM HOUSTON, TEXAS.
THERE ARE PROBABLY SIX PERSIAN PEOPLE IN TEXAS,
AND MY FAMILY WAS FIVE OF THEM.
AND IT WAS PART OF MY PITCH TO MY PARENTS
TO LET ME MOVE TO L.A.,
BECAUSE THERE'S THIS HUGE PERSIAN COMMUNITY.
- THANK GOD I'M NOT A GIRL,
BECAUSE I'D WANT TO [bleep] KILL YOU.
- WHATEVER. WE'D BE BESTIES. - NO, WE WOULDN'T,
'CAUSE I'D BE SO JEALOUS OF YOU,
I'D WANT TO KILL YOUR ***.
- YOU'RE SO SWEET.
- I WOULDN'T SAY I'M OBSESSED WITH LILLY.
I MEAN, JUST 'CAUSE I WANT TO SKIN HER AND WEAR HER
AS, LIKE, AN OVERCOAT
DOESN'T MEAN I'M OBSESSED.
- ANY MEN IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW?
- YEAH, I'M DATING THIS WHITE DUDE.
I'VE BEEN DATING SOMEONE FOR A LITTLE BIT NOW.
WE'RE NOT EXCLUSIVE.
IF I WANT TO DATE SOMEONE, I CAN.
AND PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO SET ME UP.
BUT THEN AGAIN, CAN YOU BLAME THEM?
HELLO? LIKE, TAKE IT IN.
- I HAVE A FABULOUS GUY FOR YOU.
HE LIVES IN BEVERLY HILLS.
- WAIT, HE LIVES HERE? - YEAH.
- OH, HELLO. - HE'S YOUNG.
- [laughing] OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
[laughter]
OH, MY GOD.
- SO I THINK THIS IS A GREAT HOUSE.
IT'S DEFINITELY NOT THE HOUSE FOR US.
- RIGHT.
- BUT IT DOES HAVE A LOT OF ELEMENTS
THAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR.
JUST MAYBE...
- TWICE THE-- - FIVE TIMES THE SPACE.
- FIVE TIMES. OKAY. - [laughs]
WELL, DEFINITELY FIVE TIMES THE CLOSET SPACE.
- GOT IT.
- THANK YOU FOR SHOWING ME THE PROPERTY.
- SO WE NEED TO, LIKE, LOOK AT YOUR SCHEDULE
AND MAKE SOME APPOINTMENTS.
[line trilling]
- HI, MOMMY. HOW ARE YOU?
NOPE, I'M JUST DRIVING UP TO THE PARTY.
YOU KNOW, I'M PERSIANABLY LATE.
- YEAH. [laughs]
- THIS GUY MANNY IS VERY, VERY SUCCESSFUL.
EVERY RICH IRANIAN IN ORANGE COUNTY
IS GONNA BE AT THIS PARTY.
I'M GONNA CHARM THE CRAP OUT OF THESE PEOPLE.
[sighs] LOOK AT THESE PEOPLE.
EVEN THE GARDENER HAS A MERCEDES.
- HEY, HOW ARE YOU, BUDDY?
THANK YOU FOR MAKING IT.
- GIVE ME A HUG. HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- YOU TOO, MAN. - YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO.
- UH-- - LEILA, IT'S MIKE.
- HEY! HOW ARE YOU? - HI. GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?
- OH, MY GOD.
THAT'S SO CUTE. THANK YOU.
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH. YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO.
- LET'S DO A TOUR.
- WE GOT A SAUNA OVER HERE. - NICE.
- WE GET WEEKLY MASSAGES. - AMAZING.
- HERE'S OUR THEATER.
- THIS IS THE [bleep]. - LOOK AT THE CEILING.
FIBER-OPTIC SHOOTING STARS.
THIS IS THE GYM.
BUT I WENT A LITTLE CRAZY ON THE WEIGHTS.
[laughs] I NEVER LIFT 75 POUNDS.
- YOU STILL GOT THE STICKERS ON 'EM!
- GOOD, YEAH. [laughs]
- MANNY'S A BALLER.
DRIVES A BUGATTI,
HOT WIFE,
SICK HOUSE IN ORANGE COUNTY.
HE HAS EVERYTHING A MAN COULD WANT.
I TELL YOU, MAN,
WHEN I FIRST MET YOU, I WAS LIKE, "THIS GUY'S SHARP."
YOU HAD A BEAUTIFUL GIRL. HE'S DRESSED WELL.
HOW DID YOU DO THIS, DUDE?
- OH, LONG STORY. DO YOU HAVE TWO HOURS?
[chuckles] WELL, I CAME HERE
TWO WEEKS BEFORE MY 14TH BIRTHDAY.
WE BOUGHT AN OLD, YOU KNOW, BEAT-UP STATION WAGON,
AND SOME NIGHTS, WE HAD TO SLEEP IN OUR CAR, YOU KNOW.
- BECAUSE SO MANY IRANIANS THAT CAME FROM IRAN
CAME WITH WEALTH, I MEAN, I ASSUMED THAT MANNY
JUST CAME FROM MONEY.
- I USED TO JUMP IN DUMPSTERS,
PICK UP, YOU KNOW, BROKEN CHAIRS,
STEREOS, WHATEVER,
AND THEN SELL THEM ON THE WEEKENDS...
- NO. - AT THE SWAP MEET.
THAT WAS MY FIRST JOB, WHEN I WAS 14.
- TO HAVE THE WEIGHT OF YOUR FAMILY ON YOUR SHOULDERS,
TO GO, "MAN, IF I DON'T SELL TODAY,
MY FAMILY'S GONNA SUFFER," AT 14--
- THEY'RE GONNA GO HUNGRY, YEAH.
- WOW.
WHEN I WAS 14, MY BIGGEST WORRIES THEN
WERE SMOKING POT, CHASING GIRLS, HAVING FUN,
DITCHING CLASS.
I WAS SPOILED ROTTEN.
NO--NO JOKE, MAN.
I HAVE A LOT OF RESPECT FOR YOU.
YOU'RE VERY--HONESTLY.
- ANYTHING I CAN DO,
IF I CAN GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE--
- REALLY? - YEAH.
- IT'S TIME FOR ME TO REALLY RE-GAUGE
WHAT I'M DOING AND, YOU KNOW, TAKE A PAGE
OUT OF MANNY'S BOOK.
SO I'M GONNA PRETEND LIKE I'M LITTLE MANNY,
JUMPING INTO THE DUMPSTER
AND PICKING OUT GARBAGE TO SELL AT THE SWAP MEET.
SHOULD WE GET BACK TO THE PARTY?
READY? - YEAH.
- I'M SURE YOUR WIFE IS LOOKING FOR YOU.
- HEY. - OH, MY GOD!
HOW ARE YOU? YOU LOOK SO PRETTY.
HOW ARE YOU? - I'M GOOD. YOU?
- I LOVE YOUR PANTS.
- YOU LIKE IT? - YEAH. CHA-CHA.
- THIS IS MY NEW SPACE.
- I WOULD LIKE TO TOUCH EVERYTHING IN HERE.
IS THAT OKAY?
WHAT WOULD A PERSIAN POP PRIESTESS WEAR?
- A PERSIAN POP PRIESTESS? - OH, THAT RIGHT HERE.
BAM. [laughs]
- JUST PICTURE, LIKE, A QADDAFI WEDDING,
AND, LIKE, PUT ME IN WHATEVER DRESS FITS
AT THE QADDAFI WEDDING. - THAT'S CUTE.
- ALTHOUGH IT'S GOT TOO MUCH SILVER FOR ME, HONEY.
MICHAEL COSTELLO IS A GYPSY DESIGNER,
AND HIS STUFF IS SO FEMININE BUT, LIKE,
HIGH-END AND COUTURE,
BUT TRIBAL AND GYPSY.
AND IT'S EXACTLY, LIKE, MY CRAZY COMBO.
WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?
- [giggles] - WILL THAT WORK?
AND HE WANTS ME TO PERFORM AT HIS FASHION SHOW IN NEW YORK,
SO I'M HERE TO MEET WITH HIS MONEY PEOPLE.
- WE PUT, LIKE, A BLACK PATENT LEATHER BELT WITH IT.
- IF I LAND THIS FASHION SHOW,
I CAN PAY ALL MY BILLS THIS MONTH.
- LET'S GO NEXT DOOR WHEN YOU'RE READY.
- OKAY, COME ON. ARE YOU COMING WITH US?
- YES. - YOU'RE COMING WITH US.
- BYE, LADIES. - BYE.
- UM, SO, AS YOU KNOW,
WE'RE DOING SOMETHING FOR FASHION WEEK...
- YES. - IN SEPTEMBER.
YOU KNOW, WE WERE LOOKING TO MAYBE DO, LIKE,
TWO SONGS, MAYBE THREE SONGS.
- I'M SUPER EXCITED. - COOL.
- AND, UM, THAT'S AMAZING.
- I KNOW, RIGHT?
- WHAT A GOOD FIT, ACTUALLY, OUR WHOLE WORLDS ARE.
- HE HAS ONLY TALKED AMAZING ABOUT YOUR MUSIC.
- AWW.
- BUT I'VE NEVER HEARD YOUR MUSIC.
NO DISRESPECT TO YOU-- I HAVEN'T HEARD IT.
AND I'M WRITING OUT THE CHECKS.
- THIS *** IS COLD.
WHAT THE [bleep] AM I DOING IN THIS ROOM,
TRYING TO CONVINCE AN ICE BLOCK?
I DON'T GIVE A [bleep] IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY MUSIC
IF YOU'VE NEVER HEARD IT.
YOU CALLED ME INTO THIS MEETING.
- UH, I NEED--WE NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT WE'RE ABLE
TO FIGURE OUT HOW WE'RE ACCOMMODATING YOU
AND HOW YOU CAN ACCOMMODATE US, AND THEN...
- YES. - WHAT KIND OF BUDGETS
WE'RE WORKING WITH. - OKAY.
SO IT'S LIKE, INSTEAD OF A BAND,
IT'S ELECTRONIC MUSIC.
SO BASICALLY, I WOULDN'T BE ALONE.
I HAVE THREE OF US.
AND THEY CAN GO COACH, BUT I HAVE TO FLY BUSINESS.
THAT'S A THING FOR ME.
I--
AS AN ARTIST, I'VE NEVER BEEN GOOD
AT ASKING FOR MONEY.
IN FACT, I SUCK AT ASKING FOR MONEY.
15,000.
- I DON'T FEEL OUR BUDGET IS HIGH ENOUGH
FOR THAT AT THE MOMENT.
I'M THINKING MORE IN THE 10,000 RANGE.
- HMM. I HAVE TO PAY TWO GUYS.
LIKE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT 1% OF THE SHOW
FROM MY END.
- WE COULD SPEAK TO A FEW PEOPLE,
AND IF THEY--YOU KNOW, IF THEY LIKE WHAT THEY SEE,
THEN THEY'LL PUT THE REST.
- OKAY.
SO YOU GUYS WILL GET BACK AT ME? - YEAH.
- 'CAUSE I WANT TO LOCK THIS DOWN.
- OH, YEAH. - YEAH.
- OKAY, GOOD. I GOT THIS.
I GOT THIS, AND I CAN'T WAIT
TO BRING IT AT THE SHOW.
THAT'S WHAT I'M MOST EXCITED ABOUT.
BUT THE MONEY THING, I THINK I GOT IT.
BYE. - I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
[knock at door]
[dogs barking]
- HEY.
YEAH, I SEE YOU GUYS TOO.
- OKAY, JULIO, PABLO. I WAS TRYING TO GET...
- YOU LOOK SO CUTE. - READY FOR YOU. YOU TOO.
- YOU LOOK REALLY GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. ARE YOU HUNGRY? - I MISS YOU.
- THIRSTY? - YEAH.
- BOTTLE OF DOM.
- SO WHERE'S YOUR LAPTOP?
- [mutters indistinctly]
- YOUR EYELASHES ARE VERY LONG TODAY.
YOU LOOK A LITTLE BIT LIKE A BUNNY,
BUT YOU LOOK REALLY GOOD.
LIKE A SEXY BUNNY.
- I CAN LIVE WITH THAT.
ALL THE BAGGAGE FROM MY MOM AND ME
IS AFFECTING MY RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN.
- MERCEDES, YOU ARE NOT THE MARRIAGE MATERIAL.
- [bleep] THAT, MOM.
I'M TOTALLY MARRIAGE MATERIAL.
I'M WORKING ON IT.
OH, MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M DOING THIS.
THANK GOD YOU'RE HELPING ME.
I AM MARRIAGE MATERIAL.
- ARE THERE ANY SEX TAPES ON THIS COMPUTER?
- "AXE" ME NO QUESTIONS, AND I'LL TELL YOU NO LIES.
- [laughs] OKAY.
SO, "I AM A WOMAN,
LOOKING FOR..."
- LOVE.
NO. WHAT? - A MAN?
- YES. - OKAY.
"CHOOSE YOUR USER NAME."
MIDDLE EASTERN BIG JUGS?
CUTE MIDDLE EASTERN WITH BUNNY LASHES?
- LOW MAINTENANCE--
- [laughs]
LET'S GO WITH MIDDLE EASTERN BIG JUGS.
- THAT'S NOT FUNNY. THIS IS NOT A *** SITE.
I DON'T LIKE REZA ASKING ME
TO REFER TO MY--
WHAT DO I CALL THEM?
UM...
MY...*** AS "BIG JUGS".
- PERSIAN CUPCAKES?
- FINE. - OKAY, PERFECT.
- LISTEN. - NO PROBLEM.
- I DON'T NEED TO LIE ABOUT WHO I AM.
- NO PROBLEM. - I'M EXTREMELY HAPPY
WITH WHO I AM. - WEIGHT?
- I'M NOT PUTTING THE WEIGHT.
- ZERO. - [snickers]
- HOBBIES.
- UM-- - SHOPPING--
- NO.
FEEDING THE HOMELESS ON THANKSGIVING.
- [laughs heartily]
THAT'S ONE DAY OUT OF THE YEAR!
- I LIKE PING-PONG. - PING-PONG?
- YEAH, PING-PONG. I LIKE VOLLEYBALL.
- APPARENTLY, YOU LIKE BALLS.
- STUPID.
- LET'S GO DOWN THE LIST OF DEAL BREAKERS.
- HONESTLY, I'M NOT ASKING FOR MUCH.
- CAN HOMEBOY KEEP KOSHER? - I DON'T LIKE MANSCAPING.
- YOU LIKE THE '70s BUSH DOWN LOW?
- I JUST WANT IT TO BE NATURAL. - AU NATURALE.
- WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU HAVE.
- ARE YOU DOWN WITH THE FIRE CROTCH?
- [laughing] NO GINGER.
- HOW ABOUT BLONDIES? - NO.
- ARE YOU DOWN WITH THE SWIRL? - NO.
- ARE YOU INTO RICE? - [bleep] NO.
- SO WE'RE REAL LIMITED.
WE WENT FROM, LIKE, A DATING POOL LIKE THIS...
- IT'S THIS BIG. - TO THIS.
ARE YOU DOING IT ON PURPOSE?
- IF I'M GONNA GET TO PICK,
THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE.
- ***, YOU BASICALLY HAVE THREE PEOPLE ON EARTH
THAT YOU'RE GONNA BE ABLE TO DATE,
AND YOU'VE ALREADY *** TWO OF THEM.
- I WANT THERE TO BE A CATEGORY
FOR A, UM, PRENUPTIAL AND POSTNUPTIAL AGREEMENT.
- ***, YOU NEED TO MEET A GUY FIRST.
[all cheering]
WHAT'S UP, YOU GUYS? - HEY!
- GUYS, THIS IS MY FRIEND LILLY. - HEY.
- REZA IS THE BIGGEST [bleep] STIRRER
I'VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE.
- COCONUT. COCONUT.
DO YOU WANT A TREAT? LET'S GET A TREAT.
COME ON, LET'S GET A TREAT!
OH, BE CAREFUL. LET'S GET A TREAT!
COCONUT IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.
WHEN SHE WAS A BABY, SHE SUFFERED A SEVERE ACCIDENT
AND HAD A SEIZURE AS A RESULT OF THE ACCIDENT.
THE ONLY LASTING EFFECT FROM THE TRAUMA
IS HER LEFT CIRCLE.
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!
TAKING HER FOR A WALK IS A ***.
- MAN, I LOVE BEING BACK IN MY HOUSE.
IT JUST MAKES ME FEEL LIKE MYSELF.
I JUST FEEL LIKE I HAVE A BRAND-NEW LIFE IN A WAY.
YOU KNOW, I HAVE THIS FASHION SHOW.
YOU KNOW, I'M IN MY HOUSE.
AND I JUST KIND OF WANT TO CELEBRATE WITH MY FRIENDS.
SO I'VE SET UP THIS BEAUTIFUL DINNER IN BEVERLY HILLS
AT THIS LOVELY RESTAURANT.
IT'S GONNA BE SO MUCH FUN.
[energetic dance music]
♪ ♪
- HI. - VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.
- MIKEY! WHAT UP?
THANK YOU SO MUCH. - WHAT UP?
- THIS IS MY FRIEND KATHY. - HI, HOW ARE YOU?
- THIS IS MIKE.
- HELLO. - HEY!
- HI.
- LOVELY AQUA.
- HI, BEAUTIFUL. EXACTLY LIKE I IMAGINED.
- THIS GOOD? - FROM HEAD TO TOE--
- WAIT, HOW ABOUT--
- NOW IT'S BETTER. - HELLO.
TIME TO GET FRISKY.
- SO WHATEVER SHE DRINKS... - HE WANTS.
- I'M GONNA DRINK.
- OOH, SWEET PEA SOUP.
- WHAT DOES THIS SAY? - I DON'T KNOW.
- [laughs] - I UNDERSTAND THAT WORD.
- LIKE, I UNDERSTAND THAT ONE.
- TO YOU? - TO YOU.
- ME?
- I'VE KNOWN OMID FOR A WHILE.
WE'VE HUNG OUT BEFORE. HE'S A PLAYBOY.
- IT'S A NICE DRESS, THOUGH. - I KNOW, RIGHT?
- I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT GG AND OMID ARE FRIENDS.
- WHISKEY MAKES YOU FRISKY.
- OH! - [laughs]
- [bleep]!
- I HOPE IT'S PRETTY CLEAR NOW
THAT I'M NOT INTO MIKE, 'CAUSE I HAVE OMID.
- WHY DO YOU GUYS KEEP MOVING AND SHIFTING?
YOU GUYS ARE SO WEIRD.
- ARE WE DOING MUSICAL CHAIRS, GUYS?
- DOCTOR! - CAN, UM--
- HOW ARE YOU, SIR? - MAKER'S MARK, PLEASE.
- WHATEVER SHE GOT, I GET. - I'M HOSTING.
- SHE GOT, I GET.
AND ASA WANTS A DRINK AS WELL.
- OH, UH, NO, I-- - YES, MA'AM?
- I'M HAPPY WITH MY WINE. - ARE YOU SURE?
- I THINK--
BE QUIET. - WHOO!
- YOU GUYS WANT SOME OF THIS?
- [cackling]
- DAMN, YOU HAVE A LOUD-*** LAUGH, DUDE.
- [guffawing and clapping]
- DUDE, I CAN'T SIT NEXT TO YOU.
HIS LAUGH IS, LIKE-- IT'S TOO LOUD, MAN.
- IS IT LOUD?
- I MAKE MUSIC.
I CAN'T HAVE MY EARS BE LIKE--
- YOU KNOW, WHAT YOU DO IS YOU JUST HOLD IT LIKE THAT.
- MY EARDRUMS WERE VIBRATING.
EVERY TIME HE LAUGHED, THEY WERE LIKE, "ZZZZ."
CAN YOU WARN ME?
- I WILL, I WILL. - CAN YOU WARN ME?
JUST BE LIKE, "ASA, I'M ABOUT TO SCREAM."
- ABSOLUTELY. - I LIKE IT.
I PERSONALLY WANT TO PLUCK ASA'S EYEBROWS
OFF HER FOREHEAD
FOR SAYING THAT MY FRIEND OMID IS LOUD AND ANNOYING.
- CHEERS, GUYS.
- CHEERS. - OMID, PLEASED TO MEET YOU.
- HERE'S TO GOOD FRIENDS, GOOD FRIENDS.
- WHAT, YOU'RE ONLY TOASTING THE GUYS?
- NO, NO, NO, I-- SEE, I'M COMING AROUND TO YOU.
IT'S A RACETRACK.
- HE'S GOT SUCH LONG ARMS. - CHEERS.
- BY THE WAY, I APPRECIATE YOUR BIG NOSE.
THANK YOU FOR NOT GETTING A NOSE JOB.
- WOW.
- YOU GUYS, THIS IS TO OUR PEOPLE,
BEFORE THE NOSE JOB.
- FIRST THE GIRL SAYS THAT HE'S ANNOYING.
THEN SHE SAYS HE HAS A BIG NOSE.
WHAT THE [bleep]?
I MEAN, I DON'T TOAST TO ASA
LOOKING LIKE A TRANSVESTITE AND NOT GETTING, LIKE,
YOU KNOW, A SEX CHANGE.
HER PICKING ON OMID IS VERY DISRESPECTFUL
AND ANNOYING.
- YOU GUYS, I LOVE HOW LATE REZA IS.
[Persian-themed hip-hop music]
♪ ♪
- I'M SUPER EXCITED TO FINALLY BE MEETING
REZA'S FRIENDS,
BUT INSIDE, I'M REALLY SCARED
BECAUSE PERSIAN GIRLS CAN BE VERY CATTY.
- CHEERS, RIGHT THERE. - [speaking foreign language]
[all cheer]
- WHAT'S UP, YOU GUYS? - HEY!
- HI!
- WHAT'S UP, SISSY?
YOU GUYS, THIS IS MY FRIEND LILLY.
- HI, I'M GOLNESA.
- NICE TO MEET YOU. - HEY, SEXY.
- HI. - HI, LILLY-JOON. ASA.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- WELCOME. - THANK YOU.
- I'M HAPPY YOU COULD JOIN US.
- I LOVE YOUR HAIR!
- THANK YOU. - REZA, YOU KNOW KATHY.
KATHY, REZA. LILLY, DID YOU MEET MERCEDES?
- I DIDN'T. - YES, HOW ARE YOU?
- HI, I'M LILLY.
- I SWEAR YOU GUYS COULD LOOK LIKE A--
LIKE A COUPLE, WALKING IN LIKE THAT.
- I JUST TOLD HIM!
- AND BY THE WAY, I NOTICED YOUR RED TUTS.
REZA IS THE BIGGEST F'ING [bleep] STIRRER
I'VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE.
HE'S GOT THIS EVIL, LIKE, SMIRK,
LIKE, "HEH, HEH, HEH, LOOK AT MY NEW TOY."
- I'M SORRY WE'RE LATE, YOU GUYS.
- OH, WHAT IS TIME AMONG FRIENDS?
- YEAH. - MAKE A TOAST.
- CHEERS. - CHEERS.
- TO NEW FRIENDS. - CHEERS.
- LILLY, YOU LOOK LIKE A PERSIAN BARBIE.
CHEERS TO THAT.
- OH, THAT WAS SO SWEET. THANK YOU.
- I LIKE LILLY. SHE'S GOT IT GOING ON.
SHE'S HOT. SHE'S AWESO--
I LOVE WOMEN LIKE THAT.
- WELCOME TO THE CREW. - THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- FRIENDS, LOVERS--LOVERS. [tapping on glass]
- HE SAID, "CAN YOU HURRY UP?" - YOU GUYS...
- [cackling]
- [tapping on glass] I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A TOAST.
CAN EVERYBODY BE QUIET FOR ONE SECOND?
- IS THERE SOMETHING GOING ON OVER HERE?
- IT'S KINDA MY HOMEGIRL. - KATHY--
- I WAS JUST GETTING THE LOWDOWN.
- NO, I'M GOOD.
- I'D LIKE TO SAY SOMETHING.
- FIRST OFF-- - OH! THAT'S WHAT'S UP.
- DAMN, YOU GUYS. CHILL FOR A SECOND.
- YEAH, WE'RE A LITTLE BIT-- WE'RE FROM THE HOOD.
- I WOULD LIKE TO THANK EVERYBODY FOR--
YOU GUYS ARE NOT FROM THE HOOD, ONE, OKAY?
- ISH. ISH.
- UM, I'D LIKE TO THANK EVERYBODY
FOR BEING HERE. GOOD TO MEET NEW FRIENDS.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- AND OLD FRIENDS.
I'M VERY EXCITED TO SHARE SOMETHING WITH YOU GUYS.
- UH-OH. - SOME AMAZING NEWS.
- UH-OH.
- NO. - [cackles]
- NO. SECONDLY AMAZING NEWS-- - SORRY.
MY LAUGH MIGHT HAVE BEEN TOO LOUD.
I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT.
- I'M STILL GIVING A SPEECH. - YEAH, NO, NO, NO.
- I'VE BEEN ASKED
BY THE AMAZING DESIGNER MICHAEL COSTELLO TO PERFORM...
- I'M COMING TO FASHION WEEK WITH YOU.
- AT NEW YORK FASHION WEEK. - [laughs]
- AND I'M VERY, VERY EXCITED.
SO THAT'S WHY I INVITED EVERYBODY TO COME HERE.
- OH, MY GOD. - YEAH!
[all congratulating and toasting]
[all singing]
- OH, MY GOD, YOU GUYS ARE OUT OF CONTROL.
- ONE MORE ANNOUNCEMENT. OKAY. [tapping on glass]
I WOULD LIKE TO INVITE EVERYBODY
TO A POOL PARTY THIS SATURDAY
THAT MY BOY SHAWN SOLATI IS HAVING FOR ME.
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE ALL OF YOU.
AND YOU, LILLY, AS WELL.
- THANK YOU. - YEAH.
- [speaking foreign language] - THANK YOU.
- I CAN'T SEE IT. I CAN'T SEE A MIRROR.
I NEED A KNIFE.
[indistinct chatter]
- WOW. - IT'S ON MY DRESS.
- GOLNESA. DRINKS HAVE BEEN FLOWING.
SHOTS HAVE BEEN ORDERED OVER AGAIN,
AND I JUST SORT OF WATCHED GG UNRAVEL.
- STOP, BABY. I'M GONNA RUB IT OFF.
[indistinct chatter]
- YOU GUYS ARE AWFULLY AFFECTIONATE
TOWARDS ONE ANOTHER.
- [cackles wildly]
[clapping]
[laughing] I LOVE IT, DUDE.
- THIS IS A [bleep] SHOW.
YO, WE'RE IN BEVERLY HILLS.
THIS IS A HIGH-CLASS RESTAURANT.
PEOPLE DON'T ACT LIKE THIS.
- GET HER SOME WATER.
NO, NO, NO. GET HER SOME WATER.
- MY DRINK. - HEY, LOOK AT ME.
- YOU GUYS, WHAT'S GOING ON OVER HERE?
LET ME ASK YOU, WHAT'S GOING ON OVER--
- [chewing audibly]
[mumbling] OH, MY GOD.
- MY EYES MAY BE PLAYING TRICKS ON ME,
BUT WHEN I LOOKED OVER...
OMID'S HANDS WERE HALFWAY UP HER SKIRT.
- [clearing throat loudly]
DON'T [bleep] HER AT THE TABLE.
- YOU GUYS, I'M NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE OR ANYTHING--
- HEY, TAKE A BITE. COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
- PORK? BEEF?
- NO. BEEF? WHAT PORK? IT'S PORK.
- I'M MORTIFIED THAT THESE TWO
ARE ACTING SO CRAZY IN FRONT OF MY FRIEND LILLY.
IT WAS AN EPISODE OF JERRY SPRINGER.
I'M SO EMBARRASSED FOR MYSELF.
- YOU'RE NOT RIGHT.
- EAT YOUR FOOD. - WATER, WATER, WATER.
- EAT YOUR FOOD.
- DON'T WORRY, SHE'S GONNA BE IN OMID'S BED,
NOT CEDARS-SINAI.
- [speaking foreign language]
- I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT--
I DON'T WANT TO. I DON'T WANT TO.
YOU GUYS TALK ABOUT IT. - NO, SHE'S OKAY.
MY BAD. - IT'S YOURS, THOUGH.
- YEAH, MY FAULT.
- YES, YES.
- EXCUSE ME. - WAIT, WAIT.
- MIKE, AM I BEING ATTACKED?
- EVERYBODY-- EVERYBODY SHUT UP.
- EXCUSE ME, WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?
- EXCUSE YOU? - OH, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY.
- THAT WAS SO DISRESPECTFUL AND ***.
- I WAS TALKING TO THESE TWO LADIES RIGHT HERE.
- YOU'VE CLEARLY HAD... - NOT TO YOUR GIRLS.
- ONE TOO MANY DRINKS. - I'M SORRY.
- AND WE'RE SOBER.
- ONE TOO MANY--YEAH.
- SO THE SOBER PEOPLE CAN'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT THE DRUNK PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SAY.
- NO, NO, NO, NO. YOU AREN'T TRYING TO--
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE DISRESPECTFUL AND ACT LIKE
YOU'RE GONNA RAISE YOUR HAND ON A WOMAN.
- I WOULD NEVER DO THAT. - YOU SHOULD HAVE MORE CLASS.
THEN YOU SHOULDN'T JOKE THAT YOU ARE GONNA RAISE YOUR--
- GET THE [bleep] OUTTA HERE.
- EXCUSE ME, WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?
- EXCUSE YOU? - OH, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY.
- THAT WAS SO DISRESPECTFUL AND ***.
- YOU'RE GONNA [bleep] DISRESPECT ME IN THE--
- YOU? I'M GONNA DISRESPECT YOU?
YOU JUST DISRESPECTED THE WOMEN AT THIS TABLE,
AND I'M GONNA STAND UP FOR THEM.
- HE WAS JUST SAYING, "SHOULD I, LIKE, SLAP SOMEBODY?"
- I APOLOGIZE ON HIS BEHALF.
- THAT'S LIKE SOME KIND OF WEIRD-***--
- LET'S GO TAKE A-- - KISS MY ***, BRO.
- YEAH, THAT WAS-- - WHAT HAPPENED?
- [bleep] OUTTA HERE, DUDE.
STUPID-*** ***.
- YEAH, THIS IS BULL[bleep].
- [bleep] THESE *** *** RIGHT NOW,
FOR A SECOND.
- WHAT DID I MISS?
- I'M 100% SIDING WITH YOU GUYS.
HE DRANK TOO MUCH.
DON'T EGG HIM ON. LET HIM GO.
- I'M NOT EGGING HIM ON, BUT I'M NOT GONNA SIT HERE
AND GET DISRESPECTED AS A WOMAN.
- YOU'RE RAISING YOUR VOICE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
AND I'M TELLING YOU, YOU'RE RIGHT.
- THAT WAS-- THAT WAS RUDE.
- I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE
THAT THESE ARE THE FRIENDS THAT REZA WAS SO EXCITED
TO INTRODUCE ME TO.
- OMID.
OMID... [speaking foreign language]
- [spits]
- YEAH? YEAH?
- YOU GUYS, I JUST REALLY WANT TO GET THE CHECK
AND GET OUT OF HERE, ACTUALLY.
IT'S LIKE--IT'S LIKE WAY TOO MANY BOTTLES OF SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW. LET'S GET OUT.
- I'M REALLY, REALLY SORRY.
- SHE DIDN'T START IT. - I'M REALLY SORRY.
- DON'T BE SORRY. YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
- I'M REALLY SORRY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
- THERE'S NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR.
- THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.
- PERSIAN DINNER PARTIES ARE KIND OF LIKE
PERSIAN HISTORY.
IT STARTS REALLY BEAUTIFULLY,
AND THEN IT ALWAYS GOES SOUTH.
- NEXT ON SHAHS OF SUNSET...
- WHO LIVE LIKE THIS? - WHO LIVE LIKE THIS?
- I'M DEFINITELY IN THE MIDST OF SOME TYPE
OF GAY CRISIS.
- SHE'S NOT PERSIAN, AND SHE'S NOT JEWISH.
MY GRANDFATHER'S GONNA TURN OVER IN HIS GRAVE.
- YOU HAVE TO FIND A JOB.
- I'M A PERSIAN POP PRIESTESS.
- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? - [chuckles]
- I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THEM ALL TO A.A. MEETINGS
AND SIGN THEM UP FOR PROMISES TOMORROW.
- YOU GOT DRUNK, YOU SLURRED AROUND, AND YOU STORMED OUT.
- IF YOU WANT ME TO DO SOMETHING, I WILL DO SOMETHING.
- LIKE WHAT? - LIKE WHAT?
I'LL SHOW YOU [bleep] LIKE WHAT.
I'LL SHOW YOU [bleep] LIKE WHAT. GET YOUR [bleep]--