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- This must be a wonderful holiday for you,
because your wife really only expects gifts
a couple of times a year.
- Well, first of all, she expects gifts all year long.
- Oh. - It's just that Mother's Day
and her birthday, I really gotta step it up.
That's when the substantial gifts come.
And she thinks she's slick, too.
She tells all my friends what she really wants,
and they call come up to me: "You know
Courtney really wants this." "I know!"
[laughs] So she'll drop all these hints,
and she turns into Meryl Streep all of a sudden.
"Oh, my gosh, you got me this!" [audience laughter]
All along, she knew she was getting it,
but I'll play the little games, that's cool.
- She just won't come out and tell you, though?
- No, she won't come out and tell me.
- Aw. - Which is so funny, but--
it's always that way.
- And will your kids make her something,
or will they--will you give them something to give her?
- My--well, that's the thing, you, um--
you get gifts for, sort of, all the moms in your life
at that point: my mother, her, my sister,
all the mothers in your life.
And--and then from the kids, too.
So my little girl will make her something--
she's four and in school-- and my little boy's only one,
so he really doesn't make anything other than a mess,
and that's about it. [audience laughter]
- Can we show Nico right now?
There he is right--look at-- - There he is, right there.
- I swear that-- - Giving a beso.
It's-- (audience) Aw!
Oh, there he is.
- And I said to you-- - His wig was on point that day.
His hair? [audience laughter]
- It really does look like a wig.
And first of all, [audience laughter]
- And he's only one, and people actually ask,
"Is that a wig?" I'm like, "Really?
I'm gonna put a wig on a 1-year-old?"
And that, Ellen, by the way-- he gets numerous haircuts.
He's just--I don't know why. It's like Rapunzel.
It just grows. [audience laughter]
- But that looks like there's some hair spray in it.
- He might have a little product in there.
Well, 'cause, he came to visit me that day at work,
and I think he was doing a little modeling.
- I see. Oh, he's gonna model.
- Had to hook him up. - Wow.
That's amazing. - Yes.