Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
The alternatives to *** intercourse and oral intercourse are almost like going back to
kindergarten. You might thank "Oh hang on, this is something we did as kids. It's infantile,
it's what children do when they're discovering sexuality." It's things such as frottage,
which is rubbing against each other, mutual ***, enjoying each other's bodies,
pleasuring each other ... it doesn't sound exciting does it when you think of the "wham
bam" type of sex. And for a lot of gay men who are having a very high level of unprotected
sex, *** intercourse, oral intercourse, to suddenly start going and having mutual ***,
or cuddling, or prolonged sex, you might need to change gear and think "No, it's not like
that." But what this is is like moving from driving around a race track without a seat
belt to driving into a country lane with pleasurable views and taking your time. Other cultures
have looked at alternatives to intercourse. And our cultures, unfortunately, our "wham
bam" cultures, you might want to investigate Tantric sexuality, the work of Tao sexuality,
the way the masters of sexuality in Kama Sutra for instance have looked at the ways we can
have sex with each other. And there is a Kama Sutra for gay men written at the same time
the Kama Sutra for heterosexuals was written. You would need to look at the Indian teachings
on the way, the alternatives to penetrative sex, as I mentioned just now, the Taoist.
These have the strongest elements of experimentation, but they're so pleasurable once you shift
gear, that you're not going to miss the "wham bam." They're also safe. There's no risk of
transmission of ***. But what you need to do is slow down. It's not "wham bam." And
you can't do the types of sex I'm talking about in the Kama Sutra, and Taoism, for instance,
unless you're conscious. You have to be very conscious. You don't take drugs or alcohol.
I know there are certain schools of Tibetan Tantra where drugs and alcohol are used, but
they're used ritualistically. Shivai Tantra in southern India for instance uses EVERYTHING,
including drugs and alcohol, but in a very controlled ritualistic way that we in the
West are not able to understand or tolerate. It requires dedication, practice, and if you
want to investigate it, you could spend the rest of your life investigating it, and, and
you would have such pleasure, such joy, in doing this, but you would need to do a lot
of research as to how these cultures use sexuality. In India, there's various caves, for instance,
Gujrau and Fanta, et cetera, that have depictions of alternatives to intercourse. Maybe you
want to investigate those. In our culture there is no alternative, or no REAL alternative
to "wham bam" sex. You would need to go East young man, to look at the ways we can nurture.
Because "wham bam" sex isn't nurturing. It's almost abusive. Sex is almost punishment,
the way we have sex with each other is very violent, it's very macho, it's very non-nurturing.
It's almost like you're attacking your partner or being attacked by your partner and then
they walk away and you have been attacked. These ways of sex, having sex without penetration
that I'm talking about, and Taoism, and Tantra, and Kama Sutra for instance, they are are
long, drawn-out. Sometimes, the act of sex with your partner, when it's non-penetrative,
can take place over hours. They're not centered on ***, they're centered on nurturing,
and they're centered on evolving you, they activate all your chakras, from the mulladai
right through to the suavistan, the work of all your chakras along your spine, and the
crown of your head. Those ways of having sex are designed to wake you up. But the "wham
bam" sex that we have as gay men in the West is designed to close you down, to make you
fall asleep, to get you to be unconscious. The shock of "wham bam" sex, all your chakras
fuse, they close down, they go into shock, because you're being abused. And years of
abuse when your chakras close down, *** is not the worst thing that could happen to you.
Because our culture doesn't have the answer, you need to look at other cultures. Do your
own research; I can't do it for you. Hey by the way no one can do your truth; you've got
to do your truth. I can't tell you what works for you; you have got to work it out for yourself.
Before the Buddha died, he said to Subbuthi, his last disciple, "Work out your own salvation,
with diligence." No one does it for you. If you're hungry, I can't eat for you. If you're
thirsty, I can't drink for you. And so how are your thirst and hunger satisfied? Do your
own research. Do your own work. And let, maybe, this be a beginning. Prove me wrong! Investigate
it! But you know I don't think you will. (Prove me wrong, that is.)