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Lets face it, if you're watching this
you have a gaming addiction.
It might be a relatively harmless
"well I can slip in one more level of Angry Birds" type of addiction,
Or it could be a full-blown
"I won't be making the birth of our firstborn" type of addiction.
Either way you've got yourself a problem,
and like any addiction the best thing to do... is hide it.
Now I'm going to assume you don't have a wife.
But on the off chance that you've fooled a girl into a relationship,
I recommend this little ruse.
Before you both go to bed,
secretly fire up your computer downstairs,
snuggle up for a cuddle, and just as she's drifting off,
announce that: "Uhhh my tummy's playing up!"
That way, she's not expecting you back
and, rather than sheepishly stroking her hair
or whatever form of doomed foreplay
you might have otherwise attempted,
you can get on with the far more important business
of conquering Ancient Rome, or pumping
some Nazi zombies full of virtual lead.
Another person you need to hide your addiction from is your boss.
Lets face it, those dull office hours
are prime secret gaming time.
So in the future, tilt your monitor away from the door,
sellotape a compact mirror to the edge of your desk,
so you can see the *** coming,
and open up a few extra tabs that look like spread sheets.
Hey presto! "Operation Click Away' is a-go-go.
Feel free to enjoy the many forbidden fruits of the internet,
and for once, I'm not talking about Wikipedia.
(Voice: "You have spam.")
And if all else fails, I guess
you could always admit you're an addict;
go to a self help group filled with other
X Box live-ing, Minecraft loving pixelphiliacs
and try to wean yourself off it.
But where's the fun in that?
It's far better to live in denial.
I mean who's it hurting anyway?
No one, that's who.
Unless, of course, you die of rickets because
World of Warcraft made you forget to eat for a week.