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Galaxy Timeline, Cosmic Century 0073
Holy ***! Young people head out to space!
However....
Space pirates attack
In order to deal with this growing threat, a new defensive was needed.
So the Cosmic Security Force was created.
And now it is the year Cosmic Century 0093
The Cosmic Hunters were assigned to protect galatic peace.
These hot-blooded heros continue to fight today!
Galaxy Network News reporting,
Here's some words from Galaxy Hunter Yuu and his team.
In regards to Space Pirates,
please relax, you have nothing to fear.
As the Princess Linker with
Cosmic Hunter Yuu and crew has arrived.
And with the support of the CSC......
Pirate: Cosmic Hunter Yuu...
you've become the savior of this galaxy.
Soon, I'll give my sexy body to you.
I can't wait for the pleasure.
Attention please! Attention please!
Customers entering via Gate 3...
Block D is reserved
so please use Block C.
In conclusion the
Cosmic Security Team
kicks ***!
CSC Linker is here to protect us. Cool huh?
Continuing, this ship has brought a fresh supply of tampons....
Mama! When I grow up,
I will become a Cosmic Hunter
and defeat the Space Pirates!
Mother: Oh! Then you better train hard!
Girl 1: Hey, did you see it?
That guy looks so cool!
Girl 2: I'm in love!
Girl 3: Look, isn't that Yuu?
Girl 1: Where? Where?
Girl 2: No way, Yuu isn't that weakling.
Saya, can I go in there?
I promised to buy an engery pack for Monmo.
Saya: Sure, no problem.
Yuu: Then I'll be right back, please wait for a bit.
Welcome.
Yuu: Hmm... I'll take that engery pack
and a hyper card. Also...
Ugh, Yuu said he'd be right back.
YUU! If you want a Navigator,
isn't there tons of it on the ship already?
Yuu: Actually, it's broken.
Saya: What? It was so expensive!
Yuu: Well we use it everyday right?
Saya: Damnit, were always fixing this crap.
??: ***!
Nyan: I've caught a cold,
but I can't forget my promise.
I've got a load of sales robots for the Galaxy Department Store.
Delivering these will make me rich!
Now I better get this chicken *** in gear!
Such a beautiful dress!
But the others are great too!
Hey Yuu, which do you like?
Yuu: Hmm...
I think they'd all look great on you.
Saya: Such a dear.
??: Such great customers! That dress is expensive!
Yuu: What's he looking at?
Saya: Us...I think...
Bot: This dress is a special item!
You should try it on.
Saya: No thank you, I'm just looking.
What the hell are you doing? Put me down!
Put it on. Don't be shy.
Once you try on this dress...
you'll be amazed by the fit.
Saya: I said, NO THANK YOU!
Bot: Put it on!
Saya: I don't want to.
Bot: Do it!
Saya: Annoying ***.
Bot: First this one! Saya: What the hell are you doing?
Bot: I'm helping you change.
The last part!
Saya, don't do it!
Ball Lightning!
What the hell? Customer didn't something happen?
Yuu: No...nothing..
***: Look at the sales robot!
What the hell is it doing?
That ***! I'm a Judo Master...
witness my power!
You ok chief?
***, get in here and help me!
Saya, let's get out of here!
This is why I retired.
It's freezing!
My cold is going to worsen.
Damn it, again?
What's wrong now?
I'll check it out.
I shouldn't have used the 20 year old ones.
But, I won't lose.
to deliver these, I've got a plan.
If I can beat the boss, I'll beat Yuu's high-score!
And I was so close to the clear.
Mother: Monmo, incoming Emergency Call.
Location is LX-PJ9
But Yuu and Saya have been waiting so long for this holiday.
There isn't a closer team?
Mother: Alright, I'll check.
What a mess!
Saya: But it was fun. I've been dreaming of today.
Yuu: ??? Saya: I've always wanted to have a date like normal couples do.
I wondered how a date with you would truly feel.
Yeah, our jobs as Cosmic Hunters might be strange,
but to protect the people of this galaxy,
someone has to fight.
Saya: I know, but just for today,
let me be a normal girl.
By the way Saya...
What's that?
What is it Monmo? You promised to leave us alone today.
Monmo: I understand, but we got an emergency call.
It's very close to here.
Yuu: An emergency? Saya: Isn't there a closer team?
I checked but we're the closest.
Yuu: Understood, we'll return soon. Monmo prepare to launch.
Monmo: Yes sir!
Yuu: Saya, let's go! Saya: Yuu, wait up!
Monmo: It's at Point LX-PJ9 Yuu: Mother, set a course for LX-PJ9
Prepare the drive, we'll jump in 60 seconds.
Mother: Yes sir. Monmo: Yuu, what about Saya?
Yuu... I'm scared..
Mother: 30 seconds until the jump please confirm safety systems.
Saya: Systems all green. Mother: Acknowledged, 15 seconds until jump.
10 seconds.
5 seconds. 3, 2, 1, jump drive engage.
What the? There's nothing here.
Monmo: Strange. Maybe it was a false signal?
Saya: Yuu, over there.
Thanks. You saved my blue ***. Cosmic Security is wonderful.
blah blah blah I'm a cat.
Monmo: Nyan, why'd you send an emergency call, that's for real emergencies!
It was an emergency.
I have to make an important delivery, you should have come faster.
Monmo: Call a tow-ship!
Nyan: But if I'm late I won't get paid. So I called the Cosmic Security for it's speed.
Yuu: Nyan... Saya: How mean!
Nyan: What'd I do?
Saya: Today was our day off. I've been waiting so long,
but, but, now it's cancelled.
Yuu: Saya....
Nyan: Please open up! I didn't know it was your day off!
Yuu: Our lack of vacation isn't Nyan's fault. Let it go already!
Saya: It was our first date! Isn't that a precious day for you?
Yuu: Saya....
Yuu, it's an emergency call. Code CRS537.
It's a Dahlion class ship.
Yuu: Roger that. I'm on my way.
Nyan: Yuu!
Mother, what's happening?
Mother: A ship is under attack. Distance, 5,000.
Yuu: Mother, engage security alert level 2.
Mother: Acknowledged. Ship under fire is at Point 4-6-0. Distance, 150.
Target is at Point 2-5-0. Distance, 230.
Normandy class confirmed as pirate vessel.
Yuu: Ok, target the Normandy. Mother, confirm target lock.
Mother: No good. Jamming field is preventing target lock.
Missile launch detected. Distance 4,000.
Yuu: Alert Level 1 activated. Prepare to engage. Mother set course to 8-6-0. Weapons to 2-8-0.
Yuu, what is happening?
Yuu: Nyan, where's Saya?
We've entered a battle. Nyan, take the navigation chair for Saya. Move your ***!
Nyan: Yes sir!
Intercepted 3 missiles, 2 incoming.
Yuu: Nyan, prepare to fire shielding countermeasures. Nyan: Yes sir.
Monmo: Nyan, hurry up.
Nyan: Shut up and leave it to me!
NOW!
Detonation confirmed, 3 seconds until shock wave.
Yuu, the Normandy is docking, unable to return fire.
Yuu: This is bad.
Is there no way to attack?
Monmo: But we have to do something!
Yuu: I'm going in! Monmo: It's the only option.
Mother: Scanning the Dahlion. You can enter through the hatch.
Yuu: Alright. Mother, take the helm.
Velga sir, enemy is approaching the hatch.
Velga: Come to me boy. I made up the bed just for you.
Lock acquired. Extending bridge.
Yuu, here we go.
Yuu: Kick ***!
Strange, it's abandoned.
Monmo: Yuu, there's movement in the bridge.
Yuu: Let's check it out.
Who's there?
Welcome, Cosmic Hunter Yuu.
Yuu: And you are?
I'm Space Pirate Velga.
Your image is straight out of my dreams.
Yuu: Velga? Monmo: I've not heard that name before.
Velga: Yeah, I'm still a nobody among Space Pirates.
It's so stressful being a pirate.
There's many rivals.
As well as the Cosmic Security.
It's terrible for one's body.
But I've thinking hard, and have a great idea!
Could you give me a hand?
Aren't you tired of risking your own life for the Cosmic Security?
And wouldn't it be fun to rule this galaxy with me?
Monmo: What is that moron babbling about?
Velga: With you at my side. Dominating this galaxy won't be a just a dream.
Can't you give me your power?
And I'll give myself to you.
Yuu: *** off ***!
Yuu already has Saya and he hates green ***.
Velga: Well, that's too bad...
but it's no problem, everyone wants my ***.
Galaxy Savior Cosmic Hunter Yuu, this is the end.
Yuu: What?
Good-bye sweetie.
Monmo, let's get the hell out of here!
What the hell!?
Mr. Sexy, it's a token of love from me to you.
Yuu: VELGA?
Velga: I made this bed for you...
it was expensive, so be a good boy and lay down.
Oh ***! Yuu that's a proton bomb!
Yuu: OH ***!
Farewell my love.
***! Mother get out of here!
Mother: I can't do that, you are still on board!
Saya: Yuu, I'm sorry. I'm so dumb...
Yuu: Saya, don't worry. Mother, there's no time!
I'm ordering you to get out of here. I'll manage alone.
Mother: Roger.
Saya: Let me go! I must save Yuu! Nyan: No, you must have faith in him now.
It's all my fault.
Damn my PMS!
It's not like that.
blah blah I'm a cat.
Yuu, Monmo, please forgive my sorry ***.
Commander!
Old dude: Relax, he's going to be ok.
Saya: Thank goodness.
Doc: I can't believe he survived that bomb! It's a miracle!
Saya: Doctor, thank you
I just treated his wounds.
I think god smiled upon you two, so you can ***.
Commander, let me get back to work.
Old dude: Thanks a lot doc!
Nyan: Saya, it's wonderful news!
Old dude: It's me. Man: It seems Space Pirate Velga is calling out Yuu.
She's holding a colony hostage to coax him out.
Old dude: I'm on my way. Saya, Nyan, take care of Yuu.
Commander!
Velga...
Little Miss Cosmic Hunter, you called me here. What do you want?
Saya: Until now, I was always weak,
but you pissed me off! I won't forgive you!
Velga: So it's revenge huh?
How typical.
I heard that boy is still alive right?
What a pain. I already told my pirate friends he's dead.
Saya: Velga, here in this abandoned colony, it's safe to fight. I won't hold back!
Galaxy Magic huh? This should be fun, show me what you got.
Cosmic Menstrual Ray!
Ha, you suck!
She's fast!
What's wrong hot flaps? Run dry already?
As if ya ***-***!
Velga: Now that's the way!
Chlamydia Flame!
You pest! Eat this!
Galaxy *** Tunnel!
I'm so wet!
I came? Impossible!
VELGA!
Wait, I lost. I surrender!
Saya: Stand up ***!
Velga: You're a Cosmic Hunter, you can't take my life since I've surrendered!
Thanks for being a dumb ***!
Yo hot flaps, shall I send you to hell?
Saya: Not me, only you!
Velga: Fine as long as I go down fighting.
With Valkyria's power, I'll give you a show you'll never forget.
Eat my *** gun!
You can't run.
See, there's no escape. Next one's a special present.
Yuu...
Already rest time? It was fun Miss Cosmic Hunter.
But why don't we skip to the ending?
Don't worry, you won't be lonely long. I'll send the boy to join you in hell.
I won't let you hurt Yuu!
Give it up!
Now how shall I kill you? There are so many ways.
YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
What the ***? Another gold one?
SAYA!
She looks so pathetic, I should end this.
I'll get the boy next, so just relax... The final blow!
What the?
VELGA! What you've done to Saya is unforgivable!
Velga: Cosmic Hunter Yuu? That's impossible!
***, ***, ***!
Perfect! I'll take them both out at once!
Do you smell by warm below?
This time it's over. There's no way to dodge that attack!
That monster!!
Since it's come to this, I'll destroy the whole colony!
Galaxy blah blah blah, Help me win blah blah blah...
Come forth! Sword formally known as Excalibur!
Genocide Blaster!
*** me!
I'll remember this. I'll pay you back! I swear it!
Man when you came out of the capsule, that was some funky ***!
Yuu: Sorry Doc, I don't remember much from that time.
Old Man: Saya's pain reached your heart. Must be the power of love!
Saya: Commander, don't be so direct! Yuu: Don't pick on us like that!
But it's no joke.
Doc: Yo Old Man, were in the way. Let's give them some privacy.
Saya: The Doc too?
Old Man: Yuu, Saya, you two need to heal your bodies. So take it slowly, don't shove it in too fast!
Saya: Yuu... Yuu: What's up Saya?
Saya: When you came to save me, I was so happy...
but I always get you into trouble. I'm not worth it...
Yuu: Saya, that's not right.
I'm only half the team. Together we are the ultimate team. Right?
Yo it's me, forgive my intrusion.
Yuu: Nyan what lame stunt brought you here this time?
Nyan: I want to help Saya recover, so today I brought her a very good thing.
Yuu & Saya: A good thing?
Nyan: Correct! Now all of you, get in there!
For Saya I built all these nursing robots. So take it easy.
Saya: Aren't these sales robots from the Galaxy Department Store?
Nyan: Oh you noticed? Actually my order was cancelled. Didn't want to waste them, so I reprogrammed them for this.
Yuu: Nyan you dumb *** cat! Nyan: Take care you two. everyone is waiting!
I could have translated the song, but honestly it's too lame to bother....
Stop watching this *** and go buy Cosmic Fantasy 4-1 and 4-2. Yeah that's right we split the game into two parts.
So go spend you cash you ***!
Blah blah blah, we are cats. Blah blah blah cats. Blah blah blah cats.
Time to go play Virtual Cameraman 2, *** sweet!