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I'm struggling with hopelessness but I don't want to pout yet,
So putting hands to keyboard is my creative outlet.
I'm stuck here and I'm striving and I don't know where I'm going,
I'm broken and I'm crying and my motivation's slowing,
Where are you, Lord? I'm crying out Your name.
Where are you God? Please pull me from this grave!
The condition I'm in feels rather unstable, Both financially and mentally I'm no longer able.
To maintain what I have come to know and to love,
And so I have to rest more and more in what comes from above!
But the resting isn't restful when I'm working oh so hard!
And when I'm done with this experience I don't want to be scarred
Unless I'm scarred for you God, Because those scars heal whole,
And I find that when it's over and done There's a fullness in my soul.
But where I'm at right here is certainly not there yet
And I'd prefer to be rescued while my scalp still has some hair left.
I've gone to my connections and I've called hundreds of places.
I've been to all the interviews and memorized the faces,
And the ways that I've been turned down have been anything but few,
So when I get turned down by the world I come running back to you.
And you give me this odd sense of peace and this joy I've come to find,
But even once I've found it the anger's right behind!
God! I'm stuck! I'm trapped here! What's
the next step? I'm about to do things I really don't
want to do, But I'll do them in a heartbeat if I'm
doing them for you! I'm following as closely as I feel that
I can! But I can't see a thing and I don't even
feel your hand! I never thought that I'd be one to struggle
with depression, As I'm great at putting on a smile and not
making the admission That what you're doing to me now may simply
shape and form me, But the way you're doing it is making me
quite angry! God, I don't care where I'm going if I'm
going there with you! But show me where, God! Show me where! I'm
lost, dazed and confused!