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My family thinks I'm illiterate.
I'm a grandmother.
I've lived four score, nine years.
I haven't been able to figure out if I've been blessed are just extremely unfortunate.
I've done smack. I've thrown glass bottles into a crowd of people.
I've sold religions door to door.
Vacuums, too.
Within the fabric of the cheap tablecloth we know as life,
I've ignored the signs around me
"No Smoking"
"Ice on Bridge"
"Don't Get Old"
The "Don't Get Old" sign.
I missed it.
Where'd they hang those, I ask? I've spit in punchbowls.
I've torn tags from mattresses.
I've done terrible, terrible things
to other peoples' toothbrushes
(but only at parties). Remember the "Don't Get Old" sign.
As someone who has worn heels bowling,
don't miss it.