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Remember that feeling of the first day at school.
Didn't know anybody. Or that first day on the new job
So much work.
So awkward.
Well most people experience the same sensation of awkwardness and insecurity
just around the notion of meeting new people.
It doesn't have to be this way. In my line of work, I
experienced so many different levels of social anxiety that people have
around speaking.
So it doesn't necessarily have to be around public speaking, big podiums,
massive presentations, TED Talks.
It's the idea that you can love
sharing who you are with everyone
you meet and by doing so your world changes in pretty magical ways.
So how do you do it? Well it's pretty simple
first you need to start with the intention that you want to do it.
That you actually want to meet new people because this idea of wanting
sends a message of yes to the world. It sends that message of
hello I can't wait to meet you. If you are someone who is not me,
it's awkward.
This idea that security anxiety is shutting you off.
It's sending a message of don't talk to me. When we goof around with our
phones all the time in line
it sends a message don't talk to me. So
if you want to meet new people decide that you're ready to meet new people.
Decide that you want to meet new people and that energy of yes
is literally going to attract people to you, but where do you start.
Well start with strangers. Start with a very very simple exercise
where you decide to connect with people that you don't know in very simple ways.
Connecting with someone, by that I mean, really engaging your eyes
with their eyes and here's how you begin. You know if you hold the door with somebody
When was the last time you actually looked in their eyes while you did that? I mean maybe you sort of
caught it out of your peripheral vision and you're like hear let me get it for you.
But now I want you to really look at them. Be on an elevator and glance at the person
next t you and be like hey
how's your day? What floor would you like?
Simple things. Nothing. They don't have to be your next BFF.
You just want to engage with them and really look, because that is the muscle
that you're exercising
when you want to actually have a conversation with someone you really do
want to meet.
Same muscle but you practice in Low stakes situations.
It can be as simple as really looking at the bar East at Starbucks when you order
your latte.
Easy right? You can do this. Now
next, if you want to take it a little bit deeper you have to set your
intention that you
are going to meet somebody and engage in an initial conversation.
The stakes are getting a little bit higher here so again you can be at a coffee
shop
and you can look around the room to someone whose eyes you engage with and
you can talk about something as simple as the weather.
You can talk about something you're noticing in the shared environment that
you're in.
Very simple but let's say even that idea seems a little intimidating.
Then I invite you to take a situation where you're going to attend
and meet somebody. Let's say a dinner out for drinks or at a networking event
because don't we do this. We decide it's much easier to go with somebody
than go with ourselves. So even if you set your plans to meet somebody there
challenge yourself to arrive 20
minutes early. You're giving yourself
20 minutes to build a new muscle of confidence
in meeting new people. Right, it might be a little bit awkward in beginning but
everything is awkward when we start something for the first time. So you can
get over that part
and commit to showing up. When you show up,
bring your good attitude, set your intention to meet somebody,
and start engaging in a very simple conversation and see what happens.
I am telling you the world is full of
interesting, fabulous individuals who you can help and who can
obviously help you so the more that you build this muscle
you will find that it will bring you amazing opportunities and experiences
that you've never dreamed possible. Try it
this week and then let me know what your experience is.
I cannot wait to hear.