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"Where's Soldier?" she asked suddenly, and the men gathered about her looked to each
other inquisitively. No one knew where Soldier was.
"He was under a table near ours," Pyro winced, "last I saw him."
Sniper rose from their spot and made his way through the maze of tables, pulling away the
white table cloths on each, looking below them for their missing team mate. He discovered
Soldier below a table in the middle of the room, still holding on to the black cane Pyro
had given him, muttering disjointedly to himself.
"Found 'im!" Sniper shouted back, pointing down at the table. "Hey, Sol c'mon, we 'afta
get outta here," the Australian urged. When Soldier didn't acknowledge him he gave him
a slight prod with the toe of his shoe, quickly retreating a safe distance back once he'd
done so. "Let's go, we're heading back to base."
Soldier continued muttering to himself, apparently unaware that anyone else existed. Sniper shrugged
to Medic and Demoman who had stood to watch Sniper in the event of an ambush, or if some
other ill-timed affair arose. Nothing did, and Soldier seemed steadfast to speak as quickly
and unintelligibly as possible.
Sniper tried pushing him with his feet, calling him names ("Get off yer *** ya pickle-headed
drongo!" ) all with not so much as a sideways glance from Soldier. When it came to the point
where Sniper considered that his efforts were all in vain and he'd have to resort to carrying
his team mate away, he sighed and shouted to Medic and Demoman that there was nothing
else he could to do.
"He's not doin' a thing, other than rambling to 'imself," Sniper looked down sadly at his
once vibrant, furiously passionate associate, "Soldier's gone AWOL; might as well be a civilian
for all he's worth to us, now."
A lot can happen in thirty seconds. Sometimes, even more can happen in twenty. However, only
ten seconds had lapsed between the time the word "civilian" came out of Sniper's mouth
and the instant that the table in front of him, the one where Soldier had refused to
move from, violently flipped onto its side.
It was Soldier. Not the temporary replacement Soldier, the real one. He seized the ivory
eagle cane and roared; his eyes broad with his war face at the ready. "Holy ***!" Sniper
leapt away, stumbled backwards over a chair clutched his hat to his head and raced for
safety.
"Did you find him?" Pyro whispered to Medic and Demoman, whose wide open jaws threatened
to remain permanently unfastened. They didn't answer Pyro, their attention stuck on Soldier
whose deafening bellow had finally ceased.
Soldier huffed, panted and growled. His chest heaved as he gathered in his surroundings,
trying to figure out where he was, what was going on, why he was holding a cane with an
eagle atop it, and most importantly…
"WHERE IS MY *** HELMET?"