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From hellish exes to black-eyed priests, we look at 10 horrifying wedding disasters.
10. Breast Dressed • At the reception, a bride and her bridesmaid-sister
let loose on the ***. • The wedding is the first opportunity the
bridesmaid has had to let her hair down since having a baby. But what starts out as some
cringe-worthy loudness, takes a turn for the worse when the bride and her sister begin
tabletop dancing. • Then the twisted duo make their way to
the dance floor, grinding against one another and writhing in all their drunken unco-ordinated
glory. As if this wasn’t awkward enough for the onlookers; in the middle of the dance
floor the bridesmaid begins breastfeeding the bride, while their family looks on in
horror. Yikes. Look, breastfeeding is awesome and all but a grown woman being breastfed
should probably be reserved for *** ***, not in front of your new in laws.
9. Ex-cels at Crazy • At one wedding the groom’s baby mama
showed up uninvited, brandishing a baseball bat.
• She somehow found out the location of the ceremony and shows up screaming bloody
***. She goes on to claim that the groom had been in her bed the night before. And
as she tries to rush at the bride. The heavily pregnant bride was obviously upset but luckily
unharmed as a few guests managed to tackle the intruder in time.
• So the ceremony was called off and the cops showed up to take the crazy ex to lock
up. I wonder if she has the resources to pull an El Chapo and escape. Hopefully not though.
8. Photo-shop Photographer • The day after a beautiful ceremony, the
bride called her wedding photographer to ask for a favour.
• She wanted to know if the photographer would be able to photo-shop one of the bridesmaids
out of the photos. The photographer said she wasn’t sure how good the photos would look.
But the bride told her, “I don’t care how it looks, that *** *** my husband
last night.” • The photographer said she would try but
thought the bride would do better by editing the groom out of her life rather than the
bridesmaid. So it seems some “honeymoon periods” don’t even last the honeymoon.
Or the wedding night. 7. Maternal Instinct
• After an intimate ceremony with family and close friends things got a little too
intimate a little too soon. • Midway through the reception the bride
couldn’t find her hunky hubby. She went for a wander and was shocked to find him in
the arms of another woman. And not just any woman, it was the bride’s mother. The saucy
pair were canoodling under a pile of coats; very naked and very drunk.
• It turned out the husband and his mother in law had been having an affair for months.
The groom tried to say he thought he was hooking up with his new wife but her mother was not
having a bar of it. The newlyweds quickly annulled their unholy matrimony and I’m
assuming the bride’s family dinners were pretty tense thereafter.
6. Sinead O-Connonor-ing • The day before one wedding, the maid of
honour decided to shave her head. • Which the bride was ok with but she found
it odd that her bridesmaid randomly decided to go Britney Spears circa the meltdown. But
it turns out, the act was the maid of honour’s attempt at a silent protest. She was in love
with the groom so she chose to make a statement by going all Uncle Fester on her bestie’s
big day. • The bride didn’t learn the true motive
until two years later when the husband left her for her maid of dishonor. Her shaven compadre
just couldn’t keep her hands or her clippers to herself.
5. Thirsty Sister • At a low key, casual wedding by a lake,
the groom’s sister was totally overdressed. • She was teetering on her stiletto heels
and wearing a dress normally reserved for clubbing. But she wasn’t worried that everybody
else was in khaki, smart casual. She even seemed to like it. After the ceremony she
and her boyfriend start arguing because he isn’t paying enough attention to her. So
she smacks him across the face with one of her shoes. With blood gushing from his head
she then says she’s had enough of this life and throws herself into the lake.
• But she didn’t realise the water was only four foot deep and quite marshy so instead
of drowning herself, she writhes around in the muddy water looking ridiculous. Instead
of the attention she was after, her father tells her to cut the ***.
4. Monster-in-law • The bride’s mother in law had made no
attempt to conceal her contempt about her son’s engagement ever since she’d found
out about it. • She made sure her son and his fiancé
were aware of her disapproval for months in advance and did everything in her power to
break the pair up. When the wedding day finally came the mother in law spent the entire ceremony
sobbing loudly and even told the bride’s mother that her daughter looked fat in her
wedding gown. • She kept announcing to people she didn’t
know that she should’ve worn black because she was in mourning for her son’s future.
When the priest asked if anybody knew why these two should not be married, it took three
people to restrain the old bag. Like she suddenly turned into the senior citizen hulk.
3. Wedding Heist • Following a beautiful ceremony the newlywed
couple make their way down the aisle as man and wife.
• But before they leave, the bride’s mother steps forward, announcing that she and her
husband are going to renew their vows, right then and there. Seeing as how she and her
husband paid for the event, she said she didn’t want it to “go to waste.” So the crowd
awkwardly return to their seats. But the shenanigans continue with the mother continually commenting
loudly about how nobody bought her a present. • After drinking heavily at the reception,
the sobbing mother accuses the bride of stealing HER “special day” while swearing at the
guests. She then takes onus of the wedding cake and leaves. Jeez this woman would have
to be the worst kind of narcissist with a mix of Amanda Bynes style crazy.
2. Black-Eyed Priest • Shortly after a Catholic ceremony, there
were drinks and food to enjoy before the reception. • The priest was being the social butterfly
and he went over to the newlyweds and their in laws to congratulate them. The polite pleasantries
turned sour pretty quickly though, as the priest kept making jokes about it being a
shotgun wedding. • After a few jokes the already inebriated
groom punched the priest in the eye, leaving him dazed and confused. The wedding guests
were totally perplexed, that is until the bride announced that she was actually three
months pregnant. The couple are still together and hopefully the priest has learned to keep
his jokes to himself. 1. Food Poisoning
• This is the wedding that had everyone running for cover.
• Halfway through the reception, the toilet cubicles were filling up fast and people were
puking left, right and center. And no it wasn’t just to avoid having to listen to the speeches,
or because they’d all partied too hard. • It was the catering company’s not so
fresh food that gave a whopping 46 guests an unhealthy dose of salmonella. While puking
with somebody you barely know, can make you fast friends, food poisoning is not the ideal
way to celebrate your big day. Two of the sick guests are now suing the catering company
for $50,000 dollars! Talk about a *** wedding…