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Domestic violence can happen to anyone. It happens regardless of your
age, gender, *** orientation, educational or occupational background.
Domestic violence occurs in every racial, ethnic and religious group.
It doesn't matter how much money you make or where you live.
Friends, family and coworkers
who witness or even suspect that this is happening to someone they know
may be at a loss for how to help. You may feel that talking about the issue
is overwhelming,
scary or none of your business. But the good news is, there are many ways to reach out
to someone you're concerned about
to let them know that you are there to help.
All right, so, what do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, 'cause you already told her twice!
Haha! Sal! That's funny, right? Sal! Hahhaha.
Sal! What? I can't believe you just said that! Why? Don't you get it? I don't think he gets it.
Two black eyes! I get it! It's not funny.
The thought of a woman being beaten up as funny is
ignorant. I know you're not ignorant. What if the woman with two black eyes was your
sister?
Would you think it was funny then? So Clare,
how did you make out with your sister?
I left my partner
not because I didn't love him, but
because I couldn't take it anymore. And it would have been
very difficult, if not impossible to leave
if it wasn't for my family and my co-workers.
His controlling behaviors were subtle at first.
Then it turned into harassment and then harassment
turned into stalking. If my daughter and I went out for the day,
he would find out where we were
going, and he would follow us, and then he would cause a terrible scene.
He needed to know where I was, and who I was with
every moment of the day.
He called me a lousy parent, he said I was pathetic,
and a loser. There were many days
that I was late for work and there were days that I couldn't go at all.
I was so exhausted
from being up all night.
I was making so many mistakes. Because of my time and my
attendance and then my performance issues, I was so frightened I was
gonna lose my job.
One of my co-workers saw what was going on with me
and she reached out to me. She didn't tell me what to do,
she just let me know that she was there if I needed help.
He did his best
to keep me away from my family and my friends.
My mother and my sister both expressed concern for me
constantly. They too let me know that
they were there if I needed help. Things started getting worse at home.
He gave me an "allowance" to run the house.
Okay, no big problem. Then he cancelled my
cell phone service and my credit cards.
When I tried to talk to him about it, he blew up.
He threw a frying pan across the room,
and it hit my daughter. It was then that I knew
this had to stop. If not for my sake,
for her sake. That was it.
What could I do? I remembered
that one of my co-workers suspected that I was in trouble
and so I reached out to her so I reached out to her.
She listened to me. She did not question me. She did not judge me.
She gave me the number to the domestic violence hotline
and a booklet with very helpful information.
She also reminded me that our company had a Domestic Violence
In The Workplace Policy
that outlined and showed how they could help if I needed assistance.
Although I was terrified of what would happen if I did move forward,
or what would happen if I didn't, my coworker took the most important step
in reaching out to me. Although I had
a lot of decisions and choices to make, the information
and the support that she gave me,
it just made me feel like there was a better,
another life out there for me.
She gave me hope. She gave me hope.
If you suspect
that anyone that you work with might be a victim
of domestic violence, please,
please reach out to them.
Your offer of help will be remembered if
and when they need you.
What's up? Just talking about my sister.
By the way, thanks for all your help. Oh, no problem.
You did all the work. How are things? So far so good, you know.
One day at a time. She's out of that mess and starting to put her life back together.
I still can't believe that it happened in my own family.
But she is doing better. I'm just glad that we reached out and did something.
I'm glad that we let her know that we were there to help.
Yeah, it's very important. Sometimes these situations end
badly. You did the right thing. It was tough,
she was in denial.She made excuses for his behavior.
She even told me it was none of my business. But, I'm glad I didn't give
up. She's in a good place today.
Hey Clare, you know a friend in my class is going through what your sister did.
I want to help her, but I don't know what to do. I don't even know what to say to her.
It's ok. When it comes to domestic violence,
there is no "one right thing" to say. There are as many ways to help
as there are people who need help. And even if she gets mad at you,
at least you will have tried. Besides,
even if she doesn't listen to what you say to her today, she might think about it
for a while
and come to you when she's ready.
You know, for the longest time, I didn't think my sister was listening to me.
But then, when she was ready, she came to me for help.
At the very least, stay connected to your friend.
Let her know that you're there for her. Okay, I can do that, thanks.
Jill's family and Chris' co-workers knew that something was wrong
and raised the issue. They let Jill and Chris know that they were there for them and
pointed out resources that could help them, without judgment
or blame. Even Dave did something by calling out Sal when he made a joke about
violence against women.
Everyone can do something to take a stand against domestic violence.
Domestic violence can happen to anyone, but help
is available. Many organizations and professionals provide specialized
resources
support, and information so that victims of domestic violence can make informed
decisions.
Reach out to a friend or family member if you think they are being abused.
Your willingness to get involved can be a first step to safety.
Don't Do Nothing