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[coughing]
[screaming, laughing]
FRANK OLMSTEAD,
YOU ARE A DELINQUENT.
APPLES. YOU'VE LOST YOUR APPLES.
I'VE GOT THOSE KIDS EATING SO MUCH DARN FRUIT.
YOU'RE INCORRIGIBLE.
[inhales sharply]
MMM. I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
HAVE A GOOD DAY.
I'LL BE HERE.
[blows]
HAPPY RETIREMENT.
IT'S DAY ONE OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?
UH...
I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION.
OH, I, UH, DID A BIT OF REORGANIZING.
YOU KNOW, GLASS AND BREAKABLES ON THE BOTTOM.
PANS IN THE MIDDLE.
WOODS AND PLASTICS ON TOP. EARTHQUAKE SAFE.
DO YOU MAKE A WISH WHEN YOU RETIRE?
I CAN THINK OF A FEW.
THE SYMPHONY EXISTS
ONLY BECAUSE OF SUCH GENEROUS DONATIONS SUCH AS YOURS.
WE'LL HAVE TO, UH, CONFIRM
EXACTLY HOW YOU WANT YOUR NAME TO READ.
SO, UH, YOUR NAME WILL BE ON THIS LIST RIGHT HERE.
PARDON?
WELL, THIS IS A SMALL...
MUST BE ABOUT AN EIGHT.
I BELIEVE THAT'S A NINE POINT.
I'M SURPRISED YOU DON'T USE AT LEAST A TEN.
WELL, IT'S THE PAGES.
THE MORE PAGES WE HAVE, THE HIGHER THE FO--
OF COURSE.
WELL, WHY ISN'T IT BY SIZE...
OF DONATION?
OH, WELL, IT IS WITHIN EACH CATEGORY.
OH. YOU MEAN...
IF I WERE TO DONATE ANOTHER THOUSAND DOLLARS,
WE WOULD MOVE UP TO THIS DONATION CATEGORY?
OH.
THAT LOOKS LIKE AT LEAST A TWELVE.
MM-HMM. THAT'S RIGHT.
(man) YOU THREE ARE MY GO-TO TEAM.
WE'VE ALWAYS BEEN PROVIDED FOR.
IT'S AN ADDRESS.
A HOUSE SPECIFICALLY.
OUR GIVING CAMPAIGN IS WORKING.
WE'VE BEEN BEQUEATHED THE PROPERTY
OH.
ZONED OUT RIGHT.
NO MORTGAGE.
I BELIEVE IT IS THE SOLUTION TO THE DAYCARE PROGRAM.
YES, WE HEARD THE PROGRAM WAS ABOUT TO BE SHUT DOWN.
IS THIS HOUSE WORTH ENOUGH TO SAVE THE PROGRAM?
I THINK IT IS.
A CONTRACTOR WAS HIRED A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO
TO REFURBISH IT.
HE STARTED, BUT,
WELL, HE MUST'VE FOUND WORK ELSEWHERE.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US?
SUPERVISE A QUICK REFURBISH OF THE PROPERTY.
SOME PAINT. FEW COSMETIC UPGRADES.
AND THEN WE'LL SELL IT.
WHATEVER WE GET FOR IT IS OURS.
SO OBVIOUSLY THE BETTER IT LOOKS THE...
NOW, WHY DO I SENSE A QUALIFIER?
FUNDING FOR THE DAYCARE PROGRAM RUNS OUT IN SIX MONTHS.
WE HAVE TO SELL IT BEFORE FUNDING RUNS OUT
OR THE PROGRAM DISSOLVES
AND THE CHILDREN WILL HAVE NOWHERE TO GO.
WELL, THEN WE WILL DO OUR VERY BEST.
THE THREE OF YOU WERE INSTRUMENTAL
IN KEEPING THE DAYCARE PROGRAM GOING THIS LONG.
SO I THOUGHT IT'S ONLY FITTING
THAT YOU SHOULD SUPERVISE THIS.
UH, WE HAVE A SMALL RESERVE.
SOME PETTY CASH FOR PAINT AND THE LIKE.
JUST GET IT READY FOR THE MARKET.
AS I SAID, WE'VE ALWAYS BEEN PROVIDED FOR.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
ANYTHING YOU DO WILL BE GREATLY APPRECIATED.
(Birdie) OH, NO. NO. NO!
(Elizabeth) THIS IS GENIUS.
(Rose) WHAT?
(Elizabeth) OUR DECEASED PARISHIONER LEFT THIS MESS
FOR SOMEBODY ELSE TO CLEAN UP.
A LAST LAUGH IN PERPETUITY. BRILLIANT.
IT LOOKS KINDA CROOKED, DOESN'T IT?
WHAH.
[as Bette Davis] WHAT A DUMP.
A CROOKED DUMP. OKAY.
LET'S GO.
(Elizabeth) OH, I CAN'T GET OUT AGAIN.
(Rose) OH, SURE YOU CAN.
(Elizabeth) OH, THERE WE GO. OKAY.
OH, MY. LOOK AT THIS.
NO WAY. OH.
OW.
WHAT--WELL, IT'S GOT A RUNNY NOSE.
WHAT ARE YOU DO-- LET--
AH.
UH-HUH. SEE, THAT'S AN OMEN.
THAT'S A BAD OMEN.
OH, THERE'S MAIL.
GREAT, ELIZABETH.
OKAY.
OKAY.
YEAH.
HOLD YOUR NOSE. HOLD YOUR NOSE.
(Birdie) IT'S BURNIN' MY EYES.
OHO HO.
DO YOU THINK PASTOR WESLEY
SAW THE INSIDE OF THIS HOUSE?
THIS IS TERRIBLE.
DID THE CONTRACTOR LEAVE A SUICIDE NOTE?
WELL, THERE'S NO ROOM
FOR A WALK-IN CLOSET.
OF COURSE, A WALK-IN CLOSET IS A MOOT POINT
WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A WALK-IN KITCHEN.
OH, LOOK--LOOK WHERE YOU'RE STEPPING.
LOOKS LIKE THE DECOR WAS EARLY AMERICAN FARM ANIMAL.
[moos]
WAIT A MINUTE.
THIS PLACE IS SUPPOSED TO BE FIXED, PAINTED,
AND READY BEFORE MY NEW HAIR COLOR FADES?
I DON'T THINK SO.
OH, ELIZABETH.
NOW, IT--YOU KNOW WHAT,
IT--IT COULD HAVE POTENTIAL.
OH.
WELL, MAYBE A LITTLE POTENTIAL.
OH, THIS IS SUCH A HELPLESS LITTLE HOUSE.
IT'S NOT A HELPLESS HOUSE.
A HOUSE CAN'T BE HELPLESS.
A PUPPY IS HELPLESS, NOT A HOUSE.
I MEAN, THIS HOUSE JUST HASN'T BEEN LOVED.
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS PLACE DOESN'T NEED PAINT,
THIS PLACE NEEDS DYNAMITE.
I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS.
THERE GOES MISS NEGATIVITY.
[sighs]
PASTOR, YOU DON'T JUST WANT US TO GET CALLUSES AND BLISTERS,
YOU WANT US TO GET THE PLAGUE.
(Rose) OH, PASTOR, THIS HOUSE NEEDS MORE THAN PAINT.
TOTALLY BUSTED.
AND THE WALLS HAVE HOLES.
NOT JUST LITTLE HOLES, BUT JUST BIG HOLES!
AND, YOU KNOW, THE WOOD AROUND THE WINDOWS,
ROTTED RIGHT OUT.
AND I HAVE A QUESTION.
WHO?
ALL THOSE OTHER PARISHIONERS WHO VOTED TO SAVE THE DAYCARE.
MOST OF THEM HAVE FULL-TIME JOBS.
AND THOSE THAT AREN'T WORKING
AND ARE WILLING TO VOLUNTEER AT ALL
ARE SPREAD THIN ON OTHER PROJECTS.
YOU'RE OUR FOUNDATION.
AND FOR THIS PARTICULAR JOB,
I NEEDED SOME GET IT DONE PEOPLE.
THAT'S YOU THREE.
I DEPEND ON YOU.
(man) WHAT DID YOU AGREE TO?
I DIDN'T COMMIT US TO IT. BIRDIE DID.
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ASSOCIATE WITH LOWER COMPANIONS.
ELIZABETH, AT YOUR LEVEL,
YOU SHOULD BE SPEARHEADING A POLITICAL CAMPAIGN,
A FUNDRAISER.
YOU SHOULD BE CHAIRING
THE HEART ASSOCIATION BALL.
NOT SUPPORTING A LITTLE RINKY-*** BABYSITTING SERVICE.
I'M NOT SAYING THAT'S NOT NOBLE.
BUT THERE ARE PLENTY OF WOMEN OUT THERE
WHO CAN MANAGE AT THAT LEVEL.
YOU CAN'T DO THIS.
CAN'T.
YOU MEAN I CAN'T DO IT BECAUSE I'M NOT CAPABLE
OR BECAUSE YOU WON'T LET ME?
BOTH.
[doorbell rings]
ELIZABETH.
HEY, THE DOORBELL WORKS.
UH, ALMOST.
COME ON IN.
THIS PLACE GIVES NEW MEANING
TO THE PHRASE "ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK."
ELIZABETH, DOES THIS MEAN THAT YOU'RE GONNA HELP US?
I GUESS IT DOES.
AW, I'M SO HAPPY. AW.
OH.
HEY. NOW, SEE.
DOESN'T THAT MAKE-- THEY MAKE IT LOOK FUN?
[laughter]
PLEASE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I DON'T HAVE TIME TO GO AROUND HIRING CONTRACTORS.
OH, WELL, PASTOR WESLEY SAID
WE CAN'T SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON CONTRACTORS.
OTHERWISE WE WON'T HAVE ANY FUNDS LEFT
FOR THE SCHOOL PROGRAM.
WELL, THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS THINKING.
WELL, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT?
THAT WE KIDNAP SOME LABORERS
AND AS RANSOM, THEY HAVE TO FIX UP OUR HUMBLE HUT?
NO, WE DON'T HAVE TO HIRE ANYONE.
WE CAN DO IT OURSELVES.
YES. WE CAN DO IT!
I'M A CLOSER. OKAY.
I-I-I HAVE THE KNACK FOR MAKING THINGS HAPPEN.
AND--AND ROSE, YOU ARE AN ORGANIZATIONAL WIZ.
OKAY. AND ELIZABETH, YOU ARE AN IDEAL MAVEN.
AND YOU'RE SMART.
IT'S CALLED FLIPPING.
WE HIRE OTHER PEOPLE TO DO THE DIRTY WORK.
THERE ARE LOADS OF PEOPLE THAT LOVE THAT SORT OF THING.
THEY'RE CALLED MEN.
OH, WE CAN DO THIS.
ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS JUST FIX IT,
PAINT IT, SELL IT.
(Birdie) FIX IT, PAINT IT, SELL IT.
[chanting] FIX IT, PAINT IT, SELL IT.
FIX IT, PAINT IT, SELL IT.
COME ON. FIX IT, PAINT IT, SELL IT.
(Birdie and Rose) FIX IT, PAINT IT, SELL IT.
WE NEED A PLAN.
LIST.
I'LL HANDLE THE ACCOUNTING AND THE INSURANCE,
EVERYTHING FINANCIAL.
NOW, JUST PICTURE THE KITCHEN.
CAN I BE IN CHARGE OF RECORD KEEPING?
TOOLS.
SOMEONE WHO CAN GET FAMILIAR WITH ALL THE--
PRICES AND BRANDS.
YOU KNOW, A PEOPLE PERSON.
YOU DON'T LIKE PEOPLE?
I THINK WE SHOULD GET ONE OF THOSE "HOW TO" BOOKS.
BOOKS.
NAILS.
I WONDER WHAT KIND OF NAILS
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO USE TO BUILD A WALL.
SAUCE.
[chopper engine roaring]
WHAT IS THAT?
[chopper engine roaring]
UH, WE LIVE ACROSS THE STREET
FROM A POTATO.
A HARLEY-DAVIDSON.
(Elizabeth whispering) WE LIVE ACROSS THE STREET FROM A FELON.
(Birdie whispering) I WONDER WHAT HE DID.
PROBABLY TRAFFICKING STOLEN GOODS.
(Elizabeth whispering) OR EXTORTION.
I SAW A SPECIAL ON A GUY
THAT LOOKED JUST LIKE THAT.
I THINK YOU TWO ARE BEING VERY DRAMATIC.
UH-UH. NO. HE SOLD GUNS TO BUY THAT HOUSE.
WELL, I'LL BET HE'S JUST A SWEET KID.
IT'S EASY, LADIES.
YOU NEED A FORM FOR ANY PROJECT OVER $300.
THEN YOU NEED AN INSPECTION, ROUGH AND FINISH,
FOR ELECTRICAL, PLUMBING, ROOF.
OH, WE'RE NOT GONNA DO OUR ROOF OR FOUNDATION.
AND THE EXTERIOR OUTSIDE IS GOOD.
YOU GOT STUCCO ON THE INSIDE?
[laughs]
LOOK.
HOW DO WE KNOW WHAT PERMITS WE WILL NEED?
JUST SUBMIT YOUR DRAWINGS ALONG WITH THESE FORMS.
VERY SELF-EXPLANATORY, OKAY?
NOW REMEMBER,
WE'VE GOT SPECIAL EARTHQUAKE CODES.
YOU'RE ON EXPANSIVE SOIL IT REQUIRES DEEPER FOOTINGS.
FOOTINGS? WHAT ARE FOOTINGS?
JOE, WHAT'S A FOOTING?
DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHAT A FOOTING IS?
OH, ISN'T THAT THE THING UNDER THE ANKLING
THAT HOLDS THE TOEING?
[laughs]
HEY, I'VE GOT A GREAT IDEA.
WHY DON'T YOU LADIES HIRE A CONTRACTOR
AND THEN YOU CAN ASK HIM, OKAY?
YOU, SIR, ARE NOT FUNNY.
WELL, MY WIFE THINKS SO.
YES, WELL, I'LL BET SHE FAKES THAT TOO.
COME ON, BIRDIE.
GOOD LUCK, LADIES.
YOU'RE GONNA NEED IT.
(Rose) BOY, THEY HAVE EVERYTHING HERE.
YOU KNOW, WHY DON'T WE ASK HIM?
WHAT WE DO FIRST.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT WE DO FIRST.
UM, EXCUSE ME, SIR.
OH, YES.
HI. UM...
WE WANT TO ASK YOU A QUESTION.
WELL, THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR.
WHAT IF YOU HAVE A ROOM
AND YOU WANT TO REMODEL FROM STEM TO STERN--
HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT ORDER?
MANNY.
WOULD YOU MIND COMIN' OVER HERE FOR A SECOND, PLEASE?
SURE.
HI, LADIES.
OKAY, LADIES, WHEN YOU SEE GEORGE,
WHAT DO YOU SEE?
CLOTHES, SKIN.
YOU NEED TO START WITH THE OTHER STUFF FIRST
LIKE THE SHEETROCK, UH, FLOOR TILES.
RUGS?
COVERINGS.
AUBUSSON?
PARDON ME?
SHE'S A FOREIGNER.
OH, WELCOME.
HERE'S THE FRESH COFFEE.
MM. YEAH.
SO YOU'VE BEEN THINKIN', HUH?
STAN'S NOT FOUND A HOBBY YET?
HE THINKS HE HAS. ME.
OH, NOW BIRDIE, IT CAN'T BE ALL THAT BAD.
HA. OH.
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE DOES ALL DAY?
NO.
CHANGES SEATS.
YOU KNOW HOW A DOG MOVES
FROM ROOM TO ROOM DEPENDING ON WHERE THE SUN LANDS?
WELL, THAT'S US.
I LEAVE THE ROOM, THERE HE IS.
I GO TO ANOTHER ROOM, THERE HE IS AGAIN.
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU BUY HIM A GIFT?
GET HIM A-A MEMBERSHIP TO A CLUB, OR...
YEAH, TO A POKER CLUB IN FIJI.
OH, ROSE, EVERY MORNING FOR THE LAST 30 YEARS,
IT'S BEEN COFFEE POT, TOASTER, DISH WASHER.
NOW IT'S COFFEE POT, TOASTER, DISH WASHER, HUSBAND.
LOOK, BIRDIE,
FRANK AND I HAD THE SAME PROBLEM WHEN HE STOPPED WORKING.
IT TAKES PATIENCE.
ROSE, I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO IT.
YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE AGAIN.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?
MM. [laughs]
GOOD FOR HIM.
HOW'S HE ADJUSTING?
IT'S TOO EARLY TO TELL.
UH, HE'S PROBABLY NOT THROUGH THE SHADOW STAGE.
WHAT'S THE SHADOW STAGE?
OH, WELL, I REMEMBER THINKING AFTER YOU RETIRED
THAT I'D BETTER NOT STOP SHORT WHEN I WAS WALKING.
WELL, YOU'D *** RIGHT INTO ME.
YES.
HERE. I'LL SHOW YOU. OKAY?
NOW WALK.
SEE?
OH, I'D WALK AND THERE YOU WERE
TWO STEPS BEHIND ME.
SO I GAVE IT A TITLE IN MY HEAD.
I CALLED IT THE SHADOW STAGE.
[chuckles]
THAT'S VERY POETIC.
AH! [winces]
AH.
HEY.
BUTTER WILL MAKE IT WORSE.
RUN COLD WATER ON IT. IT'LL STOP THE COOKIN'.
DIDN'T YOUR MOTHER TELL YOU THAT?
YEAH RIGHT. LULLABY. GOOD NIGHT.
DON'T PUT BUTTER ON YOUR BURN.
SO WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY ANYWAY?
I'M THE NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
WHY ARE YOU DOIN' ALL THAT WORK ON THE HOUSE?
WELL, I WISH I HAD AN ANSWER FOR THAT ONE.
JUST MAKE SURE YOU LOCK UP.
KIDS AROUND HERE WILL VANDALIZE ANYTHING UNOCCUPIED.
WILL DO.
[door closes]
ELIZABETH.
PASTOR WESLEY CALLED.
HE LEFT A MESSAGE.
HE SAID TO SEND THE BILLS FOR THE PROPERTY
TO HIS ATTENTION.
I THOUGHT WE AGREED
YOU WOULDN'T GET INVOLVED WITH THAT HOUSE.
I DON'T THINK WE ACTUALLY AGREED TO ANYTHING.
I GAVE YOU MONEY FOR A DONATION
SO YOU COULD GET OUT OF IT GRACEFULLY.
LOOK, I WAS ASKED TO DO SOMETHING
AND I CHOSE TO DO IT.
IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT.
NO, IT'S NOT AS SIMPLE AS THAT.
WESLEY ASKED YOU TO DO IT. I ASKED YOU NOT TO.
NO. PASTOR WESLEY ASKED ME TO DO IT.
YOU TOLD ME I COULDN'T.
SO THIS IS OUT OF SPITE.
FINE.
I'LL KEEP MY MONEY
AND YOU CAN LEARN THE HARD WAY.
YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT DOING THAT KIND OF WORK.
I KNOW. BUT WE'RE GONNA LEARN.
WHY?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WE'RE--WE'RE GONNA FIX UP THE HOUSE
FOR--FOR MINIMUM EXPENSES
AND THEN SELL IT FOR MORE MONEY
IF WE DIDN'T FIX IT.
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
WELL, WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO DO
IF I DIDN'T FIX UP THE HOUSE?
BE WITH YOU.
WELL, OUR DAY WILL COME, HONEY.
JUST NOT RIGHT NOW.
[chuckles]
RIGHT.
FLYTRAP, MRS. FELDMAN.
OH, MANNY.
HI. IT'S ME.
YES.
UM, I NEED NAILS.
TO HAMMER.
WELL, OKAY, UH, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA BE HAMMERING?
WELL, UM,
WALLS.
THE,H, DOORJAMB.
THE--THAT THING THAT GOES ALONG THE...
THE BASEBOARD.
THERE YOU GO.
OKAY. WELL, YOU'VE GOT YOUR COMMON NAIL,
YOUR GLUE NAIL, YOUR SCREW NAIL,
YOUR RING NAIL, UH, YOUR BOX NAIL.
WELL, I GUESS WE'RE GONNA NEED A FEW OF EACH.
OKAY. NO PROBLEM.
UM, 16 PENNY, 18 PENNY, 20?
WELL, WE'RE NOT SO CONCERNED ABOUT THE PRICE
AS TO HOW THEY WORK.
ACTUALLY, THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL THE SIZES OF THE NAILS.
THE SIZES ARE CALLED PENNIES.
I WOULDN'T HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT.
AND WHY WOULD YOU? YOU KNOW, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
TELL YOU WHAT, I'LL PUT A STARTER KIT TOGETHER FOR YOU
AND WE'LL GO FROM THERE.
I DIDN'T KNOW THEY HAD THAT EITHER.
I WOULD'VE ASKED FOR THAT.
NO WORRIES. I'LL BRIGHT BACK, OKAY?
TOOLS!
AH!
WHAT DO YOU GOT?
♪ GUESS WHAT I GOT FOR YOU ♪ ♪
EACH OF YOU A PHILLIPS HEAD SCREWDRIVER
WOW.
OH. OH.
♪ OOH ♪
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED ONE OF THESE.
I LOVE THESE.
FOR YOU. YES.
IT'S LEATHER. LOOK AT THAT.
YOU CAN PUT EVERYTHING IN IT.
AH. COSMETICS. ANYTHING YOU WANT.
MINE'S A LITTLE BIG.
AHA HA!
WE GOT--OKAY. WOW.
WE GOT--OKAY, WE'RE HALFWAY THERE.
UNSCREW ALL THAT 'CAUSE IT'S REALLY TIGHT.
OKAY. OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. AH.
LET'S SEE. LET'S SEE. IS IT OFF YET?
AH! WE GOT OFF! OKAY.
AHA HA HA.
HERE. LET ME DO THAT.
IT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO.
OH, WELL, THANK YOU. OOH, ELIZABETH. THANK YOU.
WHERE ARE YOU GOIN'?
TO THE HARDWARE STORE.
I'LL GO WITH YOU.
COME ON, BABES. COME ON. COME ON. COME ON.
I DON'T WANT--WANT TO MISS ANY OF THESE CLASSES THEY HAVE.
(George) PLUMBING IS LIKE ANY OTHER TRADE.
THE JOB YOU DO IS ONLY AS GOOD AS THE TOOLS YOU USE.
OH OH, SIR SIR.
WHAT'S A GOOD EXAMPLE OF A GOOD TOOL?
WELL, TO START WITH,
I'D RECOMMEND A RIGID PIPE WRENCH.
YOU MIGHT KNOW THE PIPE WRENCH BY ITS COMMON NAME,
THE MONKEY WRENCH.
MONKEY. IS THAT WITH A "O" OR A "U"?
AN "O."
RIGHT. NOW...
OH, 'SCUSE ME. SIR SIR.
UM, OKAY, YOU-- YOU SAID RIGID.
IS THAT RIGID THE BRAND OR DO YOU MEAN, YOU KNOW,
RIGID LIKE IT'S, YOU KNOW, HARD
AND--AND--AND, YOU KNOW, STRONG?
I MEAN IT WON'T BEND.
IT WON'T BEND.
OH NO. STAN!
I AM SO SORRY. I'M SORRY. I AM SO SORRY.
YOU ACTUALLY FORGOT ME.
I FEEL LIKE A SIX-YEAR-OLD
WHO GETS HOME AFTER KINDERGARTEN
AND HIS MOM'S NOT THERE!
WELL, I'M SORRY.
I--I MEAN, I--I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE WRENCHES
AND THE PLUMBING AND ALL THIS STUFF
AND I JUST GOT PREOCCUPIED.
ONE OF THE SALESMEN OFFERED ME A RIDE.
AND I WAS ACTUALLY TOO EMBARRASSED TO TELL HIM
THAT MY WIFE HAD FORGOTTEN ME AND LEFT ME BEHIND.
COME ON. LET'S GO.
[soft chatter]
NOT FOR ME. THANK YOU.
(Amelia) ELIZABETH.
HI.
HI, ELIZABETH.
YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. RICHARD.
JOHN.
AMELIA, WHAT IS THIS?
SOLID PLASTER.
ARE YOU SURE IT DOESN'T HAVE CONCRETE
OR SOMETHING INSIDE?
YOU'RE REMODELING AGAIN.
OHO HO HO HO.
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK, AMELIA.
DO TELL.
OH, PLEASE, DARLING.
[clears throat] NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR MY TRAVAILS.
OH COME ON. SHARE. WHO KNOWS?
MAYBE YOUR LITTLE EXPERIMENT MIGHT SHOW SOMEBODY
HOW NOT TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE.
HMM. NOW I'M INTRIGUED.
MY LADY WIFE VOLUNTEERED TO JOIN HER CHURCH COMMITTEE
TO SAVE A PLAYGROUND.
AND WHAT SHE GOT IN RETURN FOR THIS ACT OF KINDNESS,
WAS, UM, WELL, IT'S BASICALLY A TEARDOWN.
IT'S A HOVEL.
AND A SIX-MONTH SENTENCE AT HARD LABOR.
I CALL THE PLACE THE PALACE OF PENANCE.
[laughs] NOW IS THIS THE HAND OF THE PLUMBER OR WHAT?
YOUR MANICURIST'LL LOVE YOU.
PRETTY SOON, SHE'LL BE WEARING A TOOL BELT.
HA HA HA HA! OOH YEAH.
[Birdie grunts]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WELL, SHE'S DISMANTLING THE CABINETS
AND I'M TRYIN' TO RE-- REMOVE THIS COUNTERTOP
AND KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT.
WELL, THEN YOU HAVE THE HARDER JOB, DON'T YOU?
OH, AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MISS ELIZABETH?
GIRLS, YOU'RE DOIN' THIS ALL WRONG.
COME ON. OUT OF THE WAY. GET OUT OF THE WAY.
GET OUT OF THE WAY. THIS IS DEMOLITION.
YOU GOTTA GO FOR IT.
OKAY.
UHN! UHN!
[squeals] OH, MY GOD.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
YEAH. HIT IT.
WATCH OUT!
[countertop crashes]
ARE YOU OKAY?
IT FELT GOOD.
YES!
WHOA, ELIZABETH.
I HAD NO IDEA OF YOUR STRENGTH.
I LIKED IT.
OH, I KNOW YOU DID, HONEY.
DEMO DIVA.
[knock at door]
AH, SWEETHEART. WHAT A SURPRISE.
HI. HI. WHOA WHOA. WAIT WAIT.
OH.
YAY.
SANDWICHES AND CHIPS.
OH, BOLOGNA AND MAYO.
HI, BIRDIE.
I BROUGHT APPLES TOO.
OH. HERE YOU GO, ELIZABETH.
GREAT.
OH.
I FORGOT THESE. SEEDS.
YOU'RE GONNA NEED A LAWN.
EVENTUALLY.
BYE, SWEETHEART.
(Birdie) UH, FRANK.
UM, YOU CAN, UH, UH, COME BY OUR HOUSE ANY TIME.
THANKS, BIRDIE.
THANKS FOR STOPPIN' BY.
LOVE YOU.
AH.
[grunts]
[groans]
[groans]
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. LITTLE STEPS.
GLAD I WORKED OUT THIS MORNING,
OH, MY. WAIT. WAIT.
WHAT? WHAT IS IT?
ARE YOU OKAY, BIRDIE?
WHAT? WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED?
WHAT HAPPENED?
MY THIGHS.
MY THIGHS ARE FALLEN WHERE MY--
MY KNEES USED TO BE!
OH, MY GOD. EVERYTHING IS FALLIN'.
OH, BIRDIE. COME ON. GET USED TO IT, HONEY.
WE'RE ALL AGING.
OH. NO, NO, NO. I USED TO HAVE MUSCLE.
I USED TO HAVE TONE.
HONEY, DON'T QUOTE ME
BECAUSE I'LL DENY IT IF YOU DO.
BUT WE ARE GETTING OLDER.
YOU KNOW, FRANK AND I SAY THAT'S ONE OF THE DELIGHTS
ABOUT GETTING OLDER TOGETHER.
WE DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND THAT WE'RE NOT.
YOU KNOW? WE CAN ENJOY IT.
ANYWAY, YOU KNOW WHAT,
I THINK AN OLDER BODY'S A LOT MORE INTERESTING
THAN A YOUNGER ONE.
YOU KNOW, YOUNGER ONES, THEY D--THEY DON'T KNOW
HOW TO, LIKE, MOVE AND SWAY WITH THEIR PARTNER.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
I DON'T LIKE IT.
YOU KNOW, YOU TWO ARE MISSING
LOOK.
WAIT. BIRDIE, YOUR BEHIND LOOKS OKAY.
LOOK, WE CAN STILL FIND OUR KNEES.
YOU KNOW HOW MANY WOMEN OUT THERE OUR AGE
ARE STILL LOOKIN' FOR THEIRS?
SO COME ON. LIGHTEN UP. LIGHTEN UP. COME ON.
YEAH.
ONE, TWO, THREE.
OKAY. ALL RIGHT. OH, LOOK OUT. LOOK OUT.
WATCH YOUR NAILS, ELIZABETH.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
OKAY, TO THE LEFT-- TO THE RIGHT.
I'M GONNA PAY FOR THIS, I KNOW, LATER.
OKAY. OKAY. WE'RE ALMOST THERE. WE'RE ALMOST THERE.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. DOWN. DOWN. DOWN, DOWN, DOWN.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, NO HERNIAS. OKAY.
WHOO. OKAY. NO.
NOW WE HAVE TO GET IT UP THERE.
ALL RIGHT. WE GOTTA GET IT AT LEAST TWO FEET.
CAN WE? OKAY. AND THREE. OKAY.
OH. OKAY. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
AH!
DON'T...
SCARED ME TO DEATH.
THERE IS AN EASIER WAY.
OH. WE KNEW THAT, DIDN'T WE?
OH, YEAH.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU!
ACTUALLY, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
IT IS TARDES.
COMPRENDE? TARDES?
[sighs]
OH, HONEY, I'M SORRY I'M LATE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH ALL THAT DIRT?
I'M BRUSHING OFF EVERYTHING THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
HOW DID IT GO?
IT WAS HARD. BUT IT WAS A GOOD DAY.
DID YOU SEE THE DOCTOR?
YEP.
HE TOOK BLOOD.
WELL, WHAT'D HE SAY? WAS IT INDIGESTION?
IT SEEMS SO. BUT I COULDA TOLD HIM THAT.
[sniffs] MANDARIN TANGERINE.
SMELL THAT.
YEAH. IT'S NICE.
UH, WHAT'S HE GONNA DO?
THEY'RE GONNA-- THEY'RE GONNA TAKE A SCAN.
IT'S, UH, NORMAL STUFF.
OH, WELL, I'M GOING WITH YOU.
NOW WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
YOU GONNA PAT MY BACK AND BURP ME?
HMM?
YOU LIKE SURPRISES.
CLOSE YOUR EYES. CLOSE YOUR EYES.
NO PEEKING. CLOSE 'EM. CLOSE 'EM.
UH-UH! YOU'RE SO BAD.
NO PEEKING.
OKAY, OPEN UP.
GUESS WHAT IT IS.
A MONKEY. [laughs]
NO. IT'S A LEVEL.
SO THE HOUSE WON'T BE CROOKED WHEN YOU FINISH IT.
AM I STARTING TO FEEL LIKE A OCTOPUS?
IT'S BECAUSE I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF YOU.
YOU KNOW THAT.
FRANK. OH.
YOU'RE LATE AGAIN.
I'M SORRY.
AND HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
FINE.
WHAT DID YOU DO?
I WAS JUST WORKING.
YOU SURE?
WHAT DO YOU THINK I WAS DOING?
HIDING.
I'M SORRY THAT THIS HOUSE
CAME UP RIGHT NOW.
YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE FIRST MARRIED
BEFORE WE HAD AMANDA?
WE TOOK AN ART CLASS.
I KNOW IT WAS NO BIG DEAL.
AND WE WEREN'T VERY GOOD AT IT.
BUT WE PAINTED AND WE WATCHED EACH OTHER CREATE THINGS.
AND THEN WE WENT FOR COFFEE AND WE TALKED.
THIS HOUSE... THAT WE STARTED
HAS TURNED INTO SOMETHING SO SPECIAL.
I'VE WORKED MY ENTIRE CAREER
FOR THIS TIME TOGETHER.
WHAT WE THOUGHT WAS SO IMPORTANT ALL THOSE YEARS AGO,
I THOUGHT THAT THIS WOULD BE SOMETHIN' SPECIAL.
WHOA.
OH.
GEE.
ELIZABETH DID A GREAT JOB CLEANING UP THIS MESS.
[exhales]
SHE MUST'VE WORKED UNTIL MIDNIGHT.
YOU KNOW WHAT, BIRDIE...
I KNEW ELIZABETH WOULD ACTUALLY START
TO CARE ABOUT THIS PLACE.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW THAT STILL.
I-I-I WONDER IF HER NAILS ARE STILL INTACT.
OH, OH, PLEASE. NOT HER NAILS.
(Birdie) MANNY, WE--WE REALLY NEED YOU TO HELP US WITH THIS.
OKAY, NOW, WE'VE GOT THE PENNY THING DOWN
WITH THE NAILS, YOU KNOW.
THE--THEY'RE THE SIZE.
WHAT NAIL DOES WHAT?
OKAY. CAN YOU EXCUSE ME A SECOND?
THANK YOU.
OKAY.
FIRST FACTOR IS GOING TO BE
WHETHER THE NAIL SHOWS OR NOT, OKAY?
NOW, SOME NAILS HAVE A FLAT HEAD ON 'EM.
AND YOU WANT TO USE THESE IF THEY'RE GONNA BE CONCEALED
LIKE IN THE FRAMING, ALL RIGHT?
NOW IF THE WOOD'S GONNA BE SHOWING LIKE THE BASEBOARD
AND--AND THE TRIM, YOU'D WANT A FINISH NAIL.
IT HAS A TINY HEAD SO IT CAN BE SUNK,
RECESS INTO THE WOOD.
YOU KNOW. HIDDEN.
WHAT--HOW DO YOU RECESS THE NAIL?
GOOD QUESTION.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE USING A NAIL SET
AND A HAMMER.
OH.
OH.
NOW THE REASON THAT YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO USE
A NAIL WITH A FLAT HEAD ON IT
IS FOR STRONGER HOLDING POWER.
EXACTLY.
BUT WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT TO HIDE A SHEETROCK NAIL?
NOW THAT'S ANOTHER GOOD QUESTION.
YOU ARE GONNA CONCEAL 'EM.
YOU'RE GONNA BE USING JOINT COMPOUND TO COVER THEM UP.
JOINT COMPOUND?
WE GOTTA LEARN SOMETHING ELSE?
LADIES, PLEASE. CALM DOWN.
IT'S OKAY. THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR.
I'LL BE HAPPY TO HELP YOU, OKAY?
YOU'RE VERY NICE, MANNY. THANK YOU.
THANK YOU. COME ON. FOLLOW ME.
I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT YOU NEED.
COME ON, BIRDIE. PERK UP. YOU GOT US INTO THIS.
YEAH. OH, YES. THERE IT IS.
OH, IT'S SO SMOOTH. THAT'S PERFECT.
YEAH.
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT, IT'S KIND OF FUN.
LOOK AT THAT.
[chopper engine roaring]
POTATO. POTATO.
[chanting "Potato"]
[chopper engine roaring]
[soul music]
♪ EVERYBODY GET ON DOWN ♪
♪ WHOO! IT'S GOIN' DOWN ♪
♪ GET ON DOWN GET ON DOWN ♪
♪ EVERYBODY GET ON DOWN ♪
♪ COME ON, WHOO! ♪
♪ LET'S GET DOWN, UH ♪
WHAT OTHER COLORS DO YOU HAVE?
WELL, LIKE, YELLOW.
IT WOULD REALLY BRIGHTEN UP THE HOUSE.
♪ ♪
♪ HERE'S YOUR CHANCE ♪
♪ MIGHT NOT COME AGAIN ♪
♪ SO GET UP AND GET ON DOWN ♪
YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS?
IT'S JUST THIS-- THIS LITTLE CURVED,
CROOKED PIPE HERE.
WHAT IT IS DOES IS IT HOLDS WATER
AND IT KEEPS THE SEWER GASES
FROM COMIN' BACK UP INTO THE HOUSE.
♪ SHAKE YOUR STUFF YOU CAN'T GET ENOUGH ♪
♪ WE'RE GONNA BOOGIE DOWN TONIGHT ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
♪ EVERYBODY GET ON DOWN ♪
♪ GONNA GET DOWN, WHOO! ♪
ALL RIGHT. WHAT'S NEXT?
UH, WE NEED ANGLE STOPS.
♪ OOH OOH OOH ♪
♪ GOIN' DOWN Y'ALL ♪
♪ DON'T BE SHY GIVE YOURSELF A TRY ♪
♪ THAT'S HOW IT FEELS TO JUST CUT LOOSE ♪
♪ ♪
♪ MAKE SOME NOISE ALL YOU GIRLS AND BOYS ♪
YOU KNOW WHAT, I THINK WE SHOULD PUT TILE
DOWN IN HERE-- IN THE BATHROOM TOO.
♪ EVERYBODY GET ON DOWN ♪
♪ GET ON DOWN Y'ALL ♪
♪ OH, GET ON DOWN YEAH YEAH ♪
♪ EVERYBODY GET ON DOWN ♪
♪ ♪
OH, GROUP HUG.
GROUP HUG.
OKAY NOW, GET TO WORK.
OKAY?
♪ YOU CAN GET ON DOWN ♪
♪ GET ON DOWN Y'ALL, GET ON DOWN ♪
♪ IF YOU WANT TO ♪
♪ REALLY WANT TO ♪
♪ YOU CAN GET ON DOWN ♪ ♪
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE 19'5".
OKAY. I JUST HAVE TO GET AROUND THIS ROLL MAT, ALL RIGHT?
I THINK WE'LL MAKE IT.
(Elizabeth) IT HAS TO BE EXACT THOUGH.
[Birdie screeching]
WHAT?
WHAT'S THE MATTER, BIRDIE?
OH, NO. OH.
I SAW A SPIDER!
ON MY HAND.
OW!
I THINK SO. OH, OH, OH.
OW!
AND THEN I HIT IT WITH THE HAMMER.
OW, OW, AH.
OH, IT COULD BE FRACTURED.
SHOULD WE CALL 911?
NO, NO. IT'LL BE FASTER IF WE DRIVE OURSELVES.
I HAVE GOOD NEWS AND I HAVE BAD NEWS.
GOOD NEWS IS IT'S NOT BROKEN.
BUT IT IS A NASTY BRUISE.
SO WHAT I'M GOING TO DO IS I'M GOING TO WRAP IT
AND YOU'RE GOING TO KEEP IT ELEVATED AND ICED.
HAMMER?
PLEASE. OH, PLEASE. I REALLY NEED TO WORK.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
OH, UM, NOTHING.
JUST A SPIDER BITE.
SPIDER BITE?
YEAH. NO BIG DEAL.
[laughs] JUST--JUST A MINOR LITTLE THING.
YOU KNOW, JUST NOTHING.
[phone beeping]
(Wesley) HELLO.
[sighs] PASTOR WESLEY.
IT'S BIRDIE.
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, BIRDIE?
I'VE BEEN SO CONFUSED.
AND I DON'T KNOW WHO TO TALK TO.
MY MARRIAGE IS--IS...
STAN AND I ARE HAVING PROBLEMS.
LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION, BIRDIE.
IF THE HOUSE YOU'RE WORKING ON
DOESN'T TURN OUT PERFECT,
WOULD YOU CONSIDER IT A FAILURE?
IT WILL NEVER BE PERFECT.
EVEN THOUGH THE--THE GIRLS AND I,
WE'RE WORKIN' ON IT AS HARD AS WE CAN.
I MEAN, WE'RE REALLY GIVING IT OUR ALL.
I COULD NEVER BE DISAPPOINTED WITH THE OUTCOME
NO MATTER WHAT.
COULDN'T AGREE WITH YOU MORE.
IF YOU CAN SAY YOU'VE DONE EVERYTHING YOU COULD
TO MEND WHAT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU,
THEN YOU CAN WALK AWAY WITH A CLEAR CONSCIENCE.
YOU KNOW, THEN I STILL HAVE
A LOT OF WORK TO DO.
GOOD-BYE.
THANK YOU.
[phone rings]
HELLO?
HI. IT'S ME.
I JUST GOT A PAGE THAT I--I REALLY CAN'T IGNORE.
AND I'M AFRAID IT'S GONNA BE LATE.
NO. THAT'S-- THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
I UNDERSTAND.
1:30 EARLIEST.
NO. I'LL BE ASLEEP BY THEN.
SO I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.
OKAY, HONEY. GOOD NIGHT.
GOOD-BYE.
[exhales]
FRANK. WHAT IS IT?
WHY AREN'T YOU SLEEPING?
I WAS THINKING ABOUT MY DAD.
MY DAD AND A DOOR.
A DOOR?
WHEN I WAS LITTLE,
HE USED TO TAKE ODD JOBS FOR EXTRA MONEY.
AND ONE DAY HE CAME HOME EXHAUSTED.
MY MOM SAID TO HIM, "ARE YOU OKAY?"
AND HE SAID WITH GREAT PRIDE, "I HUNG A DOOR TODAY."
WHAT DID HE MEAN?
[chuckles]
HE DESCRIBED IN DETAIL HOW STRAIGHT IT HAD TO BE
IN ORDER FOR IT TO WORK.
THE PERSEVERANCE IT TOOK.
SHE SAID, "IT'S ONLY A DOOR."
WHAT'D HE SAY?
A DOOR IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ALIVE
WHEN A FRIGID WIND IS BLOWING.
ROSE. MY ROSE.
I HAVE CANCER.
NO, FRANK.
I'M SORRY.
OH, FRANK.
OH.
[sobs]
OH, FRANK.
OH.
LET'S PUT THIS SIDE IN FIRST.
OKAY. EASY DOES IT.
ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
THAT'S IT. OKAY. OKAY.
THEN YOU TAP IT IN.
LIKE HERE.
HERE. THERE WE GO.
ALL RIGHT. NICE JOB, ROSE.
[drill engine whirs]
YOU KNOW, HON,
IF YOU WANT TO GO HOME, GO AHEAD.
YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE TO BE HERE NOW.
OH, THANKS, ELIZABETH. I NEED TO BE HERE.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE GONNA START THE LANDSCAPING SOON.
AND, UH, WE USED THOSE NICE SEEDS
THAT FRANK BROUGHT US FOR THE LAWN.
YOU HAVE THE MOST FANTASTIC GARDEN, ROSE.
DO YOU WANT TO DESIGN THE GARDEN HERE?
NO, NO. FRANK DID ALL OF THAT.
HE TOOK IT UP AFTER HE RETIRED, BIRDIE.
OH, HE LOVES THAT GARDEN.
WE TALKED ABOUT A GARDENER,
BUT HE WOULD SAY,
"IF SOMEONE ELSE PLANTS OUR FLOWERS,
"WHO'S SWEAT WILL BE IN THEIR BEAUTY?
"WHO WOULD ADMIRE THEM LIKE WE WOULD?
"THERE'D BE THE POOR FLOWERS
"LEFT WITH DIMINISHED BEAUTY
FOR LACK OF AN OWNER."
DIMINISHED BEAUTY FOR LACK OF AN OWNER.
[breathes deeply]
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL THING TO SAY.
THAT'S--THAT'S MY FRANK.
THIS IS A WEIGHT BEARING WALL
AND IT'S NOT PROPERLY CONSTRUCTED
SO I CAN'T PASS YOU.
OH, BUT IF WE HAVE TO REBUILD THIS WALL,
WE WON'T HAVE THE HOUSE FINISHED IN TIME TO SELL IT.
AND WE REALLY NEED THESE FUNDS
TO SAVE THE PROGRAM FOR UNDERPRIVILEGED CHILDREN.
[condescendingly] THE CODES ARE WRITTEN FOR SAFETY.
WHY DON'T YOU GIVE THE OFFICE A CALL WHEN YOU'RE READY.
REALLY READY.
YOU COULD'VE BEEN A LOT NICER!
DO YOU KNOW WHAT MY HUSBAND WOULD CALL YOU?
A DREAM KILLER!
NO.
WOW, NEVER THOUGHT
YOU WERE A TEA BAG KIND OF PERSON.
WHAT'D YOU THINK, MORE THE COFFEE TYPE?
I WAS THINKIN', YOU KNOW, SOMETHIN'...
SOMETHIN' WITH A PROOF?
YEAH.
SO WHY ARE YOU DOIN' ALL THIS, REALLY?
[sighs]
WELL, IN MY HEART, I BELIEVE IT WAS, YOU KNOW,
FROM THE GOODNESS.
SOMEBODY DONATED THE HOUSE TO THE CHURCH
AND WE GOTTA SELL IT AND MAKE SOME MONEY
SO WE CAN GIVE IT TO THIS CHARITY
FOR THIS CHILDCARE--
FOR KIDS WHO HAVE NOTHING.
FAIR ENOUGH.
SO, UM...
YOU--YOU--ARE YOU FROM HERE?
YOUR PARENTS LIVE AROUND HERE?
YEAH.
MY DAD DOESN'T SPEAK TO ME OR MY MOM.
NEVER EVEN SEEN THIS PLACE.
THAT'S SO SAD. W--WHY?
I DIDN'T WANT TO GET INTO THE FAMILY BUSINESS.
WHY?
JUST SAY, UM, YOU REALLY WOULDN'T WANT ME
TO BE DOING YOUR ROOT CANAL, NOW WOULD YOU?
YOU A DENTIST? [laughs]
W--WELL, YOU KNOW, PUT A LITTLE WHITE LAB COAT ON YOU
AND CLEAN THE--THE OIL OUT FROM 'NEATH YOUR FINGERNAILS.
COME ON.
COULD'VE HAD IT ALL.
A BUSINESS, THE MONEY.
JUST WASN'T ME.
SO WHAT DO YOU DO ALL NIGHT
THAT MAKES YOU SLEEP ALL DAY?
NO.
I WORK NIGHTS DRIVIN' A FORKLIFT.
GET MY DAYS FREE, WEEKENDS,
SO I CAN SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY KID.
(Richard) "I'LL BE WORKING LATE AT THE OFFICE WITH KATE."
BUT, FRANK, THE DOCTOR DIDN'T SAY CHEMO WASN'T AN OPTION.
THERE'S NO PROOF
THAT IT WORKS FOR PANCREATIC CANCER.
WHAT HE SAID WAS WE SHOULDN'T LOOK AT IT AS A CURE.
BUT, SWEETHEART, IT MIGHT GIVE US MORE TIME.
THANK YOU. YEAH, WITH SOME PRETTY STRONG SIDE EFFECTS.
MINIMAL TIME AND ALMOST A GUARANTEE I'LL FEEL WORSE.
FRANK, I--I'M NOT GOING BACK TO THE HOUSE.
YOU CAN'T.
OH, YES, I CAN.
YOU KNOW WHAT, I REALLY WANT YOU TO FINISH THAT HOUSE.
IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.
LISTEN TO ME.
I NEVER WANTED YOU TO HEAR THOSE WORDS,
"ROSE, I HAVE CANCER."
FRANK, YOU DON'T HAVE CANCER.
WE HAVE CANCER.
DO YOU KNOW HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE?
I LOVE YOU, FRANK.
I LOVE YOU TOO, BABE.
PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY IF I HAD A YEAR TO LIVE,
I WOULD GO HERE, DO THIS, SEE THAT.
THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND THEY MIGHT NOT FEEL GOOD ENOUGH
TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.
I'M A LUCKY MAN, ROSE.
I'VE DONE EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED TO DO.
WHAT DID YOU WANT TO DO?
READ BY A WINDOW.
WORK IN THE GARDEN.
PLAY CHESS WITH MY BRIDE.
FRANK, DO YOU REGRET THAT-- THAT WE COULDN'T HAVE KIDS?
NOT AT ALL.
YOU?
NO.
REGRETS. THEY'RE REALLY SOMETHIN' AREN'T THEY?
EVERYBODY HAS TO FACE 'EM.
YEAH, WHEN YOU HAVE A TERMINAL ILLNESS,
YOU KINDA SPEED REAP.
CIRCLE OF LIFE, ROSE.
THERE'S A TIME WHEN WE HAVE EVERYTHING
EXCEPT TIME.
FRANK, UH, YOU KNOW, ALL THESE YEARS,
THERE'S SOMETHING I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU.
IN THE PAST 34 YEARS,
AT LEAST ONCE A DAY,
NO MATTER HOW BUSY I AM OR HOW TIRED I AM,
I ALWAYS STOP AND SMILE.
AND I'M SO THANKFUL
THAT YOU SO GRACEFULLY LET ME LOVE YOU.
DO YOU THINK THAT'S GONNA STOP
JUST BECAUSE I CAN'T SEE YOU?
ROSE, ARE YOU SCARED?
YEAH, BUT NOT OF THE ROUTINE THINGS, YOU KNOW,
LIKE BEING ALONE AND FIXING THINGS.
I CAN DO THAT.
BUT I LIKE YOUR OPINION, FRANK.
I--YOUR CRAZY SENSE OF HUMOR.
I CAN'T IMAGINE NOT...
NOT SEEING MY FRIEND...
TALKING TO MY FRIEND.
DO ME A FAVOR.
SURE. ANYTHING.
STILL STALK TO ME.
YOU CAN FIND ME IN THE THINGS THAT I LOVE
AND TALK TO ME ANYWAY.
WHAT IF I CAN STILL HEAR YOU?
YEAH, YOU BETTER.
[laughs]
[car horn honks]
(Elizabeth) I NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS WOULD'VE IMAGINED
THAT A WINDOW GOES IN FROM THE OUTSIDE.
I SIMPLY WOULD NOT HAVE ANTICIPATED THAT.
IT'S THIS WALL.
YEAH, THE PROBLEM'S WITH THE 2x4s.
WHAT ARE THE PROBLEMS WITH THE 2x4s?
THE 2x4s, WELL, THEY DON'T MEASURE 2x4.
WHAT DO THEY MEASURE?
1 1/2 BY 3 1/2.
WHAT?
LOOK, I'M SORRY, LADIES.
[scoffs]
OH, GIRL.
UGH! WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO REBUILD THIS WALL.
NO. NO, WE DON'T.
LET'S JUST HIDE OUR MISTAKE, ALL RIGHT?
LET'S JUST TAPE IT AND COMPOUND IT
AND PAINT IT.
NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW
THAT INSIDE THIS WALL
THERE IS A GROSS MISCALCULATION.
WE'LL CALL IT OUR WALL OF IMPROPRIETY.
MM. YEAH. GOOD IDEA.
JUST--YEAH, JUST TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT.
LIKE STAYING IN YOUR MARRIAGE.
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
NOTHING. IT WAS JUST A JOKE.
WHO'S MARRIAGE ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
ANYONE WHO'S COMPROMISING THEMSELVES WHEN THEY'RE UNHAPPY.
YOU THINK STAYING IN A COMPLICATED MARRIAGE
IS THE EASY WAY OUT?
THERE'S NOTHING EASY
ABOUT MAKING A PROMISE AND LIVING UP TO IT.
WELL, I DIDN'T SAY IT WAS EASY,
I SAID IT WAS THE EASY WAY OUT.
DO YOU THINK IT'S EASY
TO ARRANGE A BIRTHDAY CAKE
FOR YOUR HUSBAND'S SECRETARY/GIRLFRIEND
AND PRETEND THAT YOU'RE NONE THE WISER?
DO YOU THINK IT'S EASY TO ARRANGE
A BUSINESS TRIP FOR YOUR HUSBAND
TO A ROMANTIC PLACE UNDER THE GUISE
OF A MEDICAL CONFERENCE
WHEN YOU KNOW ALL THE TIME THAT HE'S JUST TRYING TO, UH,
IMPRESS SOME PASSING LOVER
WITH AN ADDICTIVE SAMPLING OF THE, UH,
PRIVILEGED LIFE.
HOW EASY DO YOU THINK IT IS
TO FACE THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE NOTHING TOGETHER--
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
EXCEPT FAMILIARITY?
OKAY.
[water running]
YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T CARE FOR THAT OLD FIELD INSPECTOR.
HE DIDN'T HAVE TO BE SO INSENSITIVE.
I M--CH--Y--I'LL MAKE A WALL OUT OF HIM.
SH--KIDDIN' ME?
HEY, DID YOU TURN OFF ELECTRICITY?
YEAH, I TURNED THE POWER OFF AT THE MAIN.
OKAY.
[electricity crackles]
[screaming]
ELIZABETH. OH, MY GOD. ARE YOU OKAY?
OH.
WHAT HAPPENED?
GOT A SHOCK.
OH, GOD, I THOUGHT I TURNED THE POWER OFF.
I MUST'VE TURNED IT ON.
COME ON, WE GOTTA GET HER TO A DOCTOR.
NO, NO, NO.
I'M--I THINK I'M OKAY.
[exhales]
I THINK I'M OKAY.
LET--LET ME JUST SIT A MINUTE.
WE'LL SEE. OKAY.
ELIZABETH, YOU SCARED US.
OH.
I THINK WE SHOULD JOB OUT THE ELECTRICITY.
WELL, I KNOW I'D FEEL A LOT BETTER IF, UH,
THIS PLACE WAS WIRED PROFESSIONALLY.
YEAH, IT'S TOO DANGEROUS.
AND I ACTUALLY THINK WE OUGHT TO, UH,
JOB OUT THE PLUMBING TOO.
YOU KNOW, IF WE HAD A FLOOD OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT,
IT WOULD BE DISASTROUS.
I-I MEAN, I'VE--I'VE READ THE BOOKS,
I'VE TAKEN THE CLASSES.
I'M--I'M JUST TRYIN' TO SAVE US MONEY.
I KNOW. I KNOW.
BUT IF WE'RE GONNA TURN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD
INTO THE HIGH RENT DISTRICT,
WE'VE GOTTA DO IT RIGHT.
WHAT DID I SAY?
THAT'S WHAT FRANK ALWAYS SAYS ABOUT THE BIRDS.
REALLY?
THAT OUR GARDEN IS SO BEAUTIFUL
THAT THE BIRDS REFER TO IT
AS THE HIGH RENT DISTRICT.
[crying]
ROSE.
OH, I'M SORRY, HONEY.
IS THE NOISE BOTHERING YOU?
OH.
OH, SWEETHEART.
OH.
THIS IS EVERYTHING. ALL I WANT.
LISTENING TO YOU.
THE SOUNDS.
YOU TAP TAP TAPPING ALONG,
DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
[sighs]
IT'S THE SOUND OF THE FUTURE, ROSE.
YOUR FUTURE.
YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE, ROSE.
YEAH.
I THOUGHT WHEN YOU SAID YOU HAD A SON,
OH, NO.
HOW OLD IS HE?
SEVEN MONTHS.
OH, LET ME HOLD HIM.
OH, MY GOODNESS.
OH, HE IS BEAUTIFUL.
HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HIM?
OH, I DON'T.
THEY SAY A FUSSY BABY PROBABLY ONLY NEEDS
ONE OF FOUR THINGS.
SLEEP, FOOD, DIAPER CHANGE, OR LOVE.
BE A LOT EASIER WITH HIS MOM, THOUGH.
WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES.
GIVE ME MY SON BACK.
LOOK, I DON'T KNOW IF ME AND HIS MOM
WILL GET BACK TOGETHER OR NOT.
BUT I KNOW ONE THING.
THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING THAT'S A MISTAKE ABOUT MY SON.
AND I DON'T EVER WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT AGAIN.
I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY.
YEAH, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU DID OR DIDN'T.
BUT I DIDN'T LIKE IT.
[grunts]
OH, SWEETHEART, TEA.
MM.
IT'S TIME FOR SOME FLOWERS.
SOME WINTER BLOOMING FLOWERS.
YEAH.
HI, SWEETHEART.
FRANK, WATCH THIS.
HA HA.
WITH PERSPECTIVE,
A DOOR IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
WHEN A FRIGID WIND IS BLOWING.
WOULD YOU LEAVE US ALONE FOR JUST A MINUTE?
OH, SURE.
WE'LL GIVE YOU PRIVACY,
BUT WE'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE.
THANK YOU.
FRANK, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
SEEING YOU,
THIS, AND HAPPY...
IT'S HEALING ME, ROSE.
JUST NOT THE CANCER.
I LOVE YOU.
BEAUTIFUL COLOR.
YES.
[sniffs]
BUSY DAY?
OH, I'VE GOT TO GO TO THE CLEANERS,
UH, PICK UP THE AUCTION INVITATIONS,
AND I'M GOING OVER TO THE HOUSE TO WORK.
AND I ORDERED THE BIRTHDAY CAKE.
GREAT.
I WASN'T QUITE SURE TO HAVE WRITTEN ON IT THOUGH.
I THOUGHT MAYBE
"KATE, THE ASSISTANT WITH INDISPENSABLE TALENTS."
[laughs]
HOW BIG IS THIS CAKE?
MAKE IT SIMPLER.
UM, HOW ABOUT "MANY MORE," HMM?
BYE, HONEY.
"MANY MORE."
ELIZABETH, ARE YOU OKAY?
WHY ARE YOU HERE SO LATE?
THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE I REALLY WANT TO BE.
I WOULD LOVE IF YOU AND BIRDIE
WOULD COME TO MY HOUSE.
THERE'S--THERE'S SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT
I NEED TO SHARE WITH BOTH OF YOU, OKAY?
OKAY.
THANKS.
COME ON, BIRDIE.
WHAT ARE WE DOIN'?
I FORGOT SOMETHING IMPORTANT.
COME ON. I'LL SHOW YOU.
OKAY.
COME ON.
JUST DO IT. JUST BRUSH THE DIRT OFF.
BRUSH THE DIRT OFF!
BRUSH-- THE DIRT IS--IS--
YOU'RE NOT JUST BRUSHING OFF DIRT.
FRANK SAID YOU'RE BRUSHING OFF EVERYTHING
THAT'S UNIMPORTANT.
JUST BRUSH OFF EVERYTHING THAT UNIMPORTANT
AND LEAVE IT HERE IN THE DIRT.
WE'RE BRUSHING IT OFF. WE'RE BRUSHING IT OFF.
OH, MY--OH, GOD. FRANK'S DYING.
[crying]
OH, GOD.
I LOST SIGHT OF THINGS.
I--I GET TO FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF
AND--AND THEN I GET ANGRY.
ANGRY THAT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BALANCE A CHECK BOOK
OR MAKE A BUDGET OR DO THE TAXES.
SO I COME OUT HERE AND I SIT
AND I-I LOOK AT THE DIRT.
AND I-I TRY TO REMIND MYSELF
THAT A VERY GENTLE MAN TAUGHT ME THAT--
THAT THE GROUND IS WORKING ITS HARDEST WHEN IT LOOKS BARREN.
THAT THE MOST DIFFICULT PERIOD IS JUST BEFORE IT BLOSSOMS.
OH, GOD.
OH, HOW DID I FORGET THAT?
OH.
I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING LEFT.
I BRUSHED EVERYTHING OFF THAT WASN'T IMPORTANT, AND--
PEOPLE SAY YOU HAVE A--
AN EXQUISITE HOME, YOU'VE RAISED A GREAT SON.
ONE WOULD THINK--
CAN YOU IMAGINE WISHING MY SHALLOW,
SELF-RIGHTEOUS LIFE ON ANYONE?
YOU KNOW, WHEN STAN ASKED TO MARRY ME,
THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT OF WAS THAT IT SEEMED LOGICAL.
YOU KNOW WHAT HE IS?
HE IS A GREAT MAN.
ALL MY HUSBAND WANTS IS FOR ME
TO BE HOME WITH HIM.
AND I HIDE SO THAT HE WON'T SEE THAT I'M AFRAID.
BECAUSE YOU KNOW HE'S GONNA ASK ME WHY.
SO I HIDE AND LET HIM THINK THAT IT'S HIS FAULT.
AND I KNOW HOW THAT MUST MAKE HIM FEEL.
BUT I DO IT ANYWAY.
I DID THE WORK ON THAT HOUSE
FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS.
BUT IT'S--IT'S-- IT'S THE BEST THING
THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME
AND I DON'T EVER, EVER, EVER WANT TO FORGET ANY OF IT.
BIRDIE!
WE GOT TO GET GOIN' TO THE PERMIT OFFICE.
COME ON. GET ON.
OKAY.
HEY, SOMEBODY, GRAB THIS.
OH, HERE YOU GO.
OKAY.
HOW'S MY HAIR?
OH, YOU LOOK GREAT.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
[laughs nervously]
BIRDIE.
(man) HA HA. WELL, LOOK WHO'S BACK.
HOW CAN I HELP YOU TODAY?
I'M HERE TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT FOR OUR FINAL INSPECTION.
TWICE.
LET'S SEE, I CAN PROBABLY GET TO IT BY...
THE END OF NEXT WEEK.
WELL, DON'T YOU HAVE A FOUR DAY POLICY?
WORKLOAD PERMITTING.
WHERE'S THAT WRITTEN?
WELL, IT'S WRITTEN RIGHT HERE.
BIG RED LETTERS.
[writing] WORKLOAD PERMITTING.
CAN'T REALLY BELIEVE YOU MISSED IT.
SEE? IT'S-- IT'S RIGHT THERE.
HA HA HA.
LET ME HANDLE THIS, BIRDIE.
SEEMS TO ME YOU'LL GIVE THESE LADIES WHAT THEY NEED.
AM I RIGHT ABOUT THAT?
WELL, WE'LL TRY, BUT WE CAN'T REALLY GUARANTEE.
COME HERE.
IT MAKES ME REALLY MAD
TO HAVE TO GET MAD.
I CAN PROBABLY DO IT WITHIN FOUR DAYS.
THAT WORK FOR YOU, BIRDIE?
ABSOLUTELY.
MM-HMM.
AND EARLY.
YES, MA'AM.
THANK YOU FOR COMING IN.
YOU'RE NOT TAKING THESE TO THAT DUMP OF A HOUSE.
PLEASE.
I THINK IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU ABANDON THAT PROJECT.
I NEED YOU FOR OTHER THINGS.
I HATE THESE THINGS. I ALWAYS HAVE.
THEY'RE VALUABLE.
THEN LET'S PUT THEM IN STORAGE.
NO, WE WON'T.
THEY'RE TOO VALUABLE FOR STORAGE.
RICHARD,
WOULD YOU TELL ME SOMETHING HONESTLY?
DO YOU REALLY LIKE THESE?
I LIKE WHAT THEY STAND FOR.
AND WHAT IS THAT?
I CAN HAVE THEM IF I WANT THEM.
GO SEE ROSE.
OH.
THANK YOU.
THANKS.
HOW YOU HOLDIN' UP, ROSE?
OH, YOU KNOW.
I KNOW. I KNOW.
JUNIOR.
JUNIOR.
I'M SO SORRY.
JUNIOR, THANKS FOR COMIN'.
IT'S REALLY NICE OF YOU.
NOW YOU.
SHE HASN'T EATEN ALL DAY. COME ON.
GO ON.
I'M GONNA TAKE HER TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT.
JUNIOR, ABOUT WHAT I SAID,
I'M SO SORRY.
YEAH. ME TOO.
I, UM...
GUESS I'M JUST, UH, KINDA...
SENSITIVE.
YEAH.
I'M LEARNING THAT ABOUT YOU.
[crying]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
FINISHING IT UP SO WE CAN GET SOME DEGREE OF NORMALCY
BACK TO OUR LIVES.
HOW DARE YOU!
THIS IS MINE.
THIS IS MY WORK!
YOU GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.
GET OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW!
OKAY.
YOU TOO! OUT! GO ON, GET OUT!
GET OUT!
[crying]
[sniffing]
[crying]
ELIZABETH.
WHAT HAPPENED?
HAVE YOU BEEN HERE ALL NIGHT?
COME ON. I-I HAVE SOME FRESH COFFEE.
GET UP. OKAY.
HAVE A SEAT.
LET ME GIVE YOU SOME NICE HOT COFFEE.
ARE YOU OKAY?
I'VE LED A RIGHT BOTTOM CORNER LIFE.
HERE.
I'M SORRY, ELIZABETH.
YOU'LL BE OKAY.
I HAVE TO--
I HAVE TO GO.
ALL THIS ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?
IT ISN'T ABOUT ALL OF THIS.
I'VE GIVEN YOU EVERYTHING ANYONE COULD WANT.
THAT'S JUST THE PROBLEM.
I HAD EVERYTHING I WANT
AND NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO FIND OUT WHAT I...
DIDN'T HAVE.
YOU'LL BE ALONE.
I KNOW.
AND THAT DOESN'T SCARE YOU?
SCARES...
YOU'RE HAVING A MONUMENTAL LAPSE IN JUDGMENT.
MAYBE. BUT PLEASE...
LET ME HAVE THE DIGNITY OF MAKING MY OWN MISTAKE.
HELLO.
OH, HI.
(Birdie) HEY.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE THERE?
WHAT DID YOU DO?
IT'S WHAT WE DID.
I JUST WROTE IT DOWN.
(Birdie) THIS IS PHENOMENAL.
[inhales]
IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT YOU CAN'T WRITE A CHECK.
YOU CAN WRITE A BOOK.
OH, IT'S JUST A DRAFT.
BUT IT'S ALSO A DREAM.
THAT'S WHAT LIBRARIANS DO.
THEY DREAM THAT ONE DAY
THEIR NAME WILL APPEAR ON ONE OF THESE LITTLE VOLUMES.
AUTHOR: ROSE OLMSTEAD.
DEDICATED TO ELIZABETH,
BIRDIE, AND FRANK.
OH.
YOU LADIES DID A REALLY NICE JOB.
YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOURSELVES.
OH THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU!
NICE WORK.
SHE WROTE A BOOK. SHE WROTE A BOOK ABOUT IT.
WE'RE GONNA GIVE YOU THE FIRST COPY.
YES!
[screaming]
(Birdie) HEY, IT'S SLOW.
IT'S TOO SLOW.
AND CODE REQUIRES VALVE RESTRICTORS.
YOU KNOW, A MOM DOESN'T HAVE TIME TO WAIT FOR WATER TO FLOW.
COME ON. YOU KNOW, I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH--WITH--WITH THIS BIG SAW, YOU KNOW.
AND, YOU KNOW, BUT IF-- IF I REMOVE THIS LITTLE
DOO-THINGY HERE, IT'S--IT'S--IT'S ILLEGAL.
IT'S--IT'S--
HI.
UH...
WHAT DID YOU DO?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I MEAN...
WHAT PART DID YOU DO?
OH, WELL, WE ALL DID ALL OF IT.
BUT, YOU KNOW, WE HAD SPECIAL JOBS
AND I AM THE PLUMBER.
AND SHE WAS THE PROCUREMENT AGENT.
YOU--YOU MEAN, YOU PLUMBED THIS WHOLE HOUSE?
YEAH. ALL THE WAY TO THE MAIN VALVE.
I'M SO DARN PROUD OF YOU.
I'M...
SO DARN PROUD OF YOU ALL.
I DIDN'T MAKE YOU FEEL IMPORTANT,
LIKE THIS WASN'T A SPECIAL TIME.
I WAS INSENSITIVE AND UNKIND.
BUT IS IT TRUE?
ALL THOSE YEARS THAT WE TALKED ABOUT BEING TOGETHER
AT THIS TIME, JUST US AGAIN,
THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF DISTANCE
BETWEEN THEN AND NOW.
YEAH, WELL, WE DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE LONG DAYS
AND THE TIRED NIGHTS.
YEAH. PRACTICES, GAMES, AND TUITION.
HMM! VICTORIES, DISAPPOINTMENTS.
MM. HOT LUNCHES AND COLD DINNERS.
BROKEN BONES.
BOYFRIENDS OF HER DREAMS AND HER BROKEN HEART.
YEAH.
AND HERE WE ARE.
I'M SCARED TOO, BIRDIE.
WHAT IF IT'S NOT GONNA BE
LIKE WE THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE?
I'D LIKE TO GET TO KNOW YOU AGAIN
AND FIND OUT.
DO YOU?
OOH.
DOUBLE OOH.
HERE IT IS.
OH, LOOK.
ISN'T THIS GORGEOUS?
LOOK AT IT. IT'S ALL RUSTED AND AGED.
COME ON. COME ON.
IT'S GONNA BE FABULOUS. OH, MY GOD.
STAN AND BIRDIE.
OF COURSE.
OH, THAT'S GREAT.
HA.
NO, BUT IT'S EASY
WHEN YOU'RE MOVING.
[chuckles]
[door opens]
YOU MADE THAT FOR ME?
MM. THIRD TIME.
[chuckles]
AND LOOK.
OH.
OH, MY GOD.
AW. THAT IS SO GREAT.
OOH. MM! MM! MM!
MM! MM! MM! MM!
MM. YOU DIDN'T THINK I HAD IT IN ME, DID YOU?
NO.
I CAN'T BELIEVE WE DID ALL OF THIS OURSELVES.
I MEAN, EVERY BIT OF IT.
WHAT?
ALMOST ALL OF IT.
WELL, WAIT. WHAT DIDN'T WE DO?
NOT WE...
UH-OH.
WHEN WE FIRST STARTED OUT,
[sighs]
I PAID SOME MEN TO COME IN AND CLEAN UP
MEN?
YOU PAID THEM?
I DIDN'T HAVE THEM DO ANYTHING ELSE.
BELIEVE ME. NO REMODELING. NOTHING.
THEY JUST CLEANED UP AND TOOK OUT THE TRASH.
AND THEN I LET YOU THINK I DID IT.
I'M SORRY.
MY CLARITY OF PURPOSE WAS CLOUDED BACK THEN.
[inhales] PAS--PASTOR WESLEY.
YES.
I SEE I'M GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE
YOUR DIVA CROWN AWAY FROM YOU.
[mock crying] NO, NO, NO.
OKAY. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
I'LL FORGIVE YOU.
BUT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO WRITE A NICE TOAST.
WELL, JUST SO HAPPENS,
I'VE PREPARED A LITTLE SOMETHING.
OH, ELIZABETH, YOU'RE ALWAYS PREPARED.
MM-HMM.
QUOTE.
THE BEST THING WE CAN DO
IS TO MAKE WHEREVER WE'RE LOST IN
LOOK AS MUCH LIKE HOME AS WE CAN.
END QUOTE.
YOU KNOW,
I AM LOST.
BUT I'M-- I'M LOST IN A PLACE
WHERE I CAN--I CAN FIND FRANK WHENEVER I NEED HIM.
HEY, IT'S NOT A BAD PLACE TO BE
WHILE I'M FINDING MY WAY.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S STRANGE,
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE,
I DON'T FEEL LOST.
ALL RIGHT. WE GOTTA MAKE A TOAST TO OUR HOME.
(all) TO HOME.
HEY.
HEY.
BIRDIE TOLD ME THAT YOU LIKED TEA.
SO I WANTED YOU TO HAVE THIS.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'LL EVER USE IT OR NOT,
BUT I-I--I WANTED TO LEAVE YOU WITH SOMETHING.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU FOR...
JUST THANK YOU.
YOU SURE ARE DIFFERENT NOW.
THAT'S THE NICEST COMPLIMENT I'VE HAD IN A...
VERY LONG TIME.
WHAT'S IT'S FATE?
WE'LL SELL IT.
THEN THE MONEY'LL SAVE THE CHILDREN'S PROGRAM.
YOU KNOW NOBODY'LL APPRECIATE IT
LIKE IT SHOULD BE APPRECIATED.
I KNOW.
BIRDIE, BIRDIE. LOOK.
OHO HO HO!
COME ON, SWEETHEART.
OH. OH MY GOODNESS.
OH.
JUST LOOK AT IT.
OH, IT DOES LOOK BEAUTIFUL, DOESN'T IT?
IT'S READY FOR THE "FOR SALE" SIGN.
OH!
PASTOR WESLEY, IT'S ELIZABETH.
I, UH, I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE HOUSE.
YOU'RE ALL TO BE COMMENDED.
YOU'VE RISEN TO A REALLY TOUGH CHALLENGE.
YOU KNOW THE HOUSE IS APPRAISED
FOR OVER TWICE WHAT WE THOUGHT WE COULD GET FOR IT?
WELL, I WANT TO BUY THE HOUSE.
YOU KNOW, BIRDIE ALWAYS SAID
THAT HOUSE JUST NEEDED SOME LOVE.
I CAN'T THINK OF ANYONE BETTER TO GIVE IT THAT LOVE
THANK YOU.
OOH!
OH, I'M SORRY.
I'M SO SORRY.
I SHOULD'VE ASKED IF ANYONE ELSE WANTED TO BUY IT.
NO. I DON'T NEED ANOTHER HOUSE.
OH, ELIZABETH, THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY.
YES, YOU'RE GONNA BE LIVIN' RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET
FROM JUNIOR.
WELL, I'VE NEVER LIVED ACROSS THE STREET
FROM A NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH CAPTAIN BEFORE.
WELL, AT LEAST YOU'LL BE SAFE, ELIZABETH.
AND HERE COMES THE TRAIN.
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