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Hi there! In this video I'll talk about how to better understand sexuality and
gender diversity
so that we can be more compassionate with ourselves and each other.
Have you ever been confused about sexuality or gender identity -
your own or someone else's? Do you want to better understand and be compassionate
about this?
Then this video is for you! So let's start with the difference between sex
and gender, which is often misconstrued as being one and the same,
even though it's not.
Sex is what we are assigned at birth based on our genitals
and our chromosomes. Most of us are born as male or female,
again based on our genitals or having XX or XY chromosomes.
There's another socially constructed category called intersex,
and this term is used in a variety of situations
where a person is born with reproductive organs or *** anatomy
that doesn't fit into the typical definitions of male or female.
So for example, it could be that someone
is born with female genitalia on outside but has mostly male anatomy
on the inside, or, it could be that a girl is born with a noticeably large ***
or a boy is born with a noticeably small ***.
It also could be that the chromosomes are not all
XX or all XY.
Let's talk about gender. Gender is socially constructed.
So if someone is born with a *** (sex determined as male)
they're supposed to like manly, masculine things.
However if someone is born with a *** (sex determined as female)
there suppose to like feminine things. And as we all know, we don't
all fit nicely into these socially determined categories and boxes.
And oftentimes it's set up so that we
actually have to constantly prove our masculinity or femininity,
which leaves a lot to be desired.
Transgender (transcending gender) is often used as an umbrella term to describe
hundreds of gender possibilities. And this can include
drag queens, who dress up in another gender for performance or fun.
This can also include cross-dressers who are often straight man who enjoy or
find pleasure in dressing up in another gender part-time.
This can include transgender men and transgender women,
who have this internal felt sense of who they are and express this
through their outward appearance. This also includes gender ***
people who self-identify in a way
that is not based on the gender binary, not just masculine, not just feminine.
It might include something that's more androgynous/
It could be including both masculine and feminine characteristics of who
they are,
at the same time, at different times, by the day,
by the hour, by the month. Lots of different possibilities here.
So you might have seen Facebook. That it used to be that
it was just two categories for gender, and now there's well over 30.
Gender diversity is really important for us to accept,
acknowledge and celebrate.
Now let's talk about sexuality, which include *** orientation,
*** behavior and *** identity. *** orientation is that internal felt
sense of who you're attracted to,
either the same gender or another gender. It's also usually an enduring
pattern of
attractions including: ***, emotional,
affectional, romantic, psychological, spiritual, intellectual.
All different kind of ways that we can be attracted to someone. It's also not
a lifestyle, a choice, or a behavior. You can either
act on it or not. And it usually is enduring. It usually lasts a very long
time but it also can be fluid.
What's important to notice here is the distinction
that it can organically change over time,
often doesn't for people but it can, and it's not something that you can't force. You
cannot force yourself to be straight if you're gay.
You cannot force yourself to be gay if you're straight. So these are important
considerations to understand about *** orientation.
Another aspect of sexuality is *** behavior,
and this is who you have sex with and what kind of sex you have.
Motivations here can include love, pleasure,
affection, loneliness, experimentation, societal expectations,
religious expectations, and or coercion.
It's important here to recognize that it is not at a determiner
of *** orientation or identity. There's a difference between doing
and being. So for example, there could be a man who's *** orientation is gay
but married to a woman and only has sex with her. He might
fantasize about men but he's only *** with her.
It also could be someone who's a male sex worker,
having sex with men for money but only attracted to women and only dating women.
Another aspect of sexuality is *** identity, and this is who you say you are
to the world.
How you identify. And this can include being
lesbian, gay, bisexual, ***, straight,
asexual, pansexual, polysexual
and/or ***. Asexual is someone that has low or
no *** attraction to someone. They might have a romantic interest though.
Polysexual is someone who's sexually attracted to multiple genders and
sexes but not necessarily all,
whereas pansexual is someone who is sexually attracted to people of
all genders and all biological sexes. Polyamory is having more than one
intimate relationship at a time, with the consent of all parties involved.
This has sometimes been referred to as ethical non-monogamy.
And *** can include BDSM and
other kinds of *** behaviors.
So obviously there's a lot of diversity in sex,
and gender, and our sexuality, and I want to encourage us all to appreciate and
enjoy and embrace,
celebrate all the different ways of being
and expressing ourselves.