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Previously on Lois & Clark:
What are you saying,
that we're supposed to get married?
- I'm saying we already are.
- They expect me to go back with Zara
and rule over New Krypton.
- If Kal-El doesn't return
Nor will divide the ruling houses
and the hold they have over the people.
Riots will be followed by mass murders,
followed by civil war.
My dear son
that is my legacy.
That is your destiny.
I will be here waiting for you, Clark.
And if you can return, you will.
And so I leave,
knowing that a world full of heroes
has nothing to fear.
Lois
I love you.
Lois?
- Clark?
- I couldn't go through with it.
I couldn't stay away.
Let's get out of here
and go someplace
they'll never find us.
Oh, yes, yes.
Oh, Clark,
I knew you'd come back.
- Thinking about her?
- I know she's thinking about me.
This bond that you have with her, it's so
different from the way I was taught.
Still, it must be incredible
to learn to love like that.
The mothership is on fast approach.
They request your countersign.
- The mothership?
- The royal transport, Clark.
A floating palace.
It will take us to New Krypton.
Palace? I'm not sure I'm really ready
for a palace.
- She will uncloak now.
- It's a spacecraft, right?
I mean, when you say a palace
you don't really mean, like
a palace.
The Council of Elders is aboard.
Our subjects wish to bid you welcome,
Lord Kal-El.
Kryptonian society is held together
by an alliance of noble families.
- Right, right.
- Represented by the Council of Elders.
Right, the Council of Elders.
They'll be watching you
for any signs of ambivalence.
It is vital you adhere strictly
to the Kryptonian customs.
- Kryptonian customs.
- To maintain the support of the people.
- And avoid the upheaval
- That will lead to war.
They are prepared to receive
you, Kal-El.
Ready?
I just want this kept low-key, you know?
They don't have to make a big deal over
Walk two paces ahead of Zara.
Greet the elders with open arms,
palms up.
Say, "Brothers in bonds,
I greet thee thrice.
"
You're kidding.
Brothers in bonds, I greet thee thrice.
I am Trey, chief of the elders.
We are humbled and grateful
to greet you.
Kal-El!
Kal-El.
- Oh, boy.
- What do you mean, "Clark's gone"?
Well, when you called last night,
we talked about someone going off
to see if organized crime
was taking advantage
of Superman's absence.
Now, wait a minute, I didn't
necessarily mean you or Clark.
Well, we tossed a coin and he won.
Lois, this could be dangerous.
Are you sure he knows
what he's gotten himself into?
Chief, to be honest,
I'm sure he has no idea.
Lord Kal-El, Lady Zara,
the ceremony will begin.
Why does Ching have that funny look
on his face?
I probably should have told you
about this.
- About what?
- The Ceremony of Union.
Union? Union.
Union?
It makes it legal for us
to consummate the marriage.
- What?
- What?
I don't know what kind of
arrangement you and Kent have.
Thought you might be free for dinner.
For your information, Ralph,
I am an engaged woman.
I am an engaged man.
Not here, you're not.
Here, you're my husband.
Kal-El and Zara, married since birth.
In accordance with the laws
I am taken.
Dance card filled.
Off the market.
And here is poor Clark
out risking his life for a story
and the minute his back is turned,
you're You're
Whoa, whoa, it's just
a stinking dinner.
Well, you should be ashamed
of yourself.
Lois, get a grip.
I'll tell you this as a friend: You have
been a mess ever since Superman left.
Well, we're friends, you know?
I am sure he is giving up
more than anyone knows
to do what he thinks is right.
- Yeah, but did he think about us?
I mean, we need him too.
Of course he thought about us.
You don't think it killed him to leave?
But civil wars would have broken out
in his country.
Innocent people would have been
slaughtered if he hadn't returned.
Protecting the helpless
isn't limited to here
Ralph, and that
is what Superman does.
- You tell him, Lois.
- Boy, should you be ashamed of yourself.
As you were.
I declare this union complete.
Its consummation sanctioned
by the law.
Behold, the bridal chamber.
So this is the village
where both Kal-El and the assassin Tez
landed on Earth.
Certainly less barren than home.
Our master's convinced that hoards
from New Krypton will follow him here.
Less barren, yes.
Let me see.
There may be other incentives.
So where is everybody?
Oh, perhaps that palace over there.
I'll race you.
I could learn to like it here.
- Locked.
- Just rip them open.
Hey.
What the hell do you think
you're doing?
Oh, we're playing.
Would you like to play too?
That's quite enough.
Survey the village.
Be ready for my arrival.
All will be ready, my Lord Nor.
You will be amazed at how easily
these fools are conquered.
- Zara?
- Yes, Kal-El?
I'm not sure what to do here.
I see.
And are the intimate habits of men and
women on Earth so different from ours?
This fact never appeared
in my briefing manual.
- That's not what I meant.
- There are techniques to help couples.
Your cable television shows
are most informative.
Please.
If you were Lois,
I'd know exactly what to do.
It'd be natural.
But this whole thing
you and I together
We are not a couple,
we're a political solution.
- So your heart isn't in this.
- My heart? No.
No.
My heart is waiting for me
back on Earth.
Lois is my heart.
I was an outsider there, incomplete,
until I met her.
You saved yourself for her.
Yeah.
I saved myself for Lieutenant Ching.
It's very Kryptonian, actually.
You see, my heart isn't in this either.
Then we're agreed.
Not partners in bed, but partners.
Partners.
And friends.
I hold you in high esteem, Kal-El.
Forgive the intrusion.
I don't mean to interrupt your
Your handshake.
- You're not intruding, Trey.
- So I see.
- And you wanted?
- Your presence.
We must prepare for arrival
on New Krypton.
And it appears you're not occupied.
Kal-El.
Look, from now on,
you don't have to do this.
- It's tradition.
- I know, but it's driving me crazy.
Up.
Everyone, up, please.
Up.
I don't believe I've said congratulations,
Lord Kal-El.
Congratulations.
- Councilor, Lord Nor has vanished
- There's something that I wanna make
I understand, Kal-El.
We're all prisoners of duty, I know.
It's how ardently we embrace our duty
that concerns me.
Disturbing news, my lord.
It appears Lord Nor
and a party of his followers
have vanished from New Krypton.
- Where would they go?
- It's believed they are
They're on their way toward Earth.
Ho Hos, Twinkies
Ding Dongs, Snickers?
You feeling hungry?
Jonathan, you know
I never eat this stuff.
- Well, then, why are we stocking up?
- They're his favorites.
And I know when he comes home
he's gonna want them.
And since he doesn't have any problems
with cavities and cholesterol, why not.
Well, that's spoken like a true mom.
Martha
we've talked about this.
There's still
a chance that Clark might not get back
I know we've talked about it,
and you know what I said then?
- "My boy is coming home.
"
- Martha
Jonathan, my boy is coming home.
Villagers of Smallville
forgive me for interrupting
your tedious lives.
It can 't be helped.
A change in leadership has occurred.
So report immediately
to your municipal headquarters
for details of this joyful news, along
with work and dwelling assignments.
Freeze!
Yield to the forces of Nor!
Oh, look.
Well, well.
Isn't this an awkward moment.
Let me attempt to smooth things over.
Friends, do not, I beg of you
think of me as some alien creature.
Some being who shares nothing
with you.
Rather, think of me as a god.
Stern, unforgiving, invincible.
I neither like you nor need you.
Resist me, and die.
Oh, my God.
Well, now that the ice is broken
my men will sort you
according to strength, age and health.
- Where you going?
- To call Lois.
This Lord Nor is the enemy
that Clark went to Krypton to fight.
Lois.
Hey, have you talked to Clark?
He managed to call last night.
I'm not sure when I'll see him.
Boy, he's gone, Superman's gone
He's gone, Superman's gone.
- Lois, you don't think
- I certainly do not.
That
Jimmy, that's ridiculous.
What? I was just thinking with all
this hard work they could both burn out.
- Oh, that.
- Why? What were you thinking?
Want a simpler life.
Simpler life.
- Lois, it's Martha.
I
- Hi, Martha.
- Is everything okay?
- Well, it's kind of hard to explain.
A terrible thing is happening.
These people
Martha? Hello, Martha?
- Jimmy?
- Yeah?
Keep trying the Kents.
There's something
wrong with the Smallville lines.
Well, although we got off
to a rocky start
I think it's safe to say
things are back on track, isn't it?
Isn't it?
- Oh, yes, sir.
- Yes, sir, whatever you say.
Your enthusiasm touches me deeply.
As part
of our urban-improvement plan
my men have begun a few
modernizing touches.
Voil�.
Smallville has been surrounded by
a force field that cannot be breached
completely cutting us off
from the rest of your world.
Oh, and another beautification effort
my palace.
At least for now.
So to review:
Since I am absolute ruler,
it follows you are my slaves.
Behold your ruler and bow down.
We don't do much bowing
here in Kansas.
See, I have a feeling
we're not in Kansas anymore.
- Kneel or break.
- Down.
Respect.
On your knees, slaves.
I greet you
as subjects of New New Krypton.
Well, if the FBI doesn't handle
these things, who does?
No phone calls are getting through
to Smallville, Kansas
and the phone company
doesn't know why.
Well, then transfer me
to the Pentagon.
Oh, what are their business hours?
Hello?
This is crazy.
Maybe I am too.
Clark?
Clark? Clark?
I'm going crazy.
And I'm talking to myself.
That's a sign, isn't it?
Now I'm asking myself questions.
Oh, this could be a problem.
Or maybe I'll learn to enjoy it.
You're just an illusion.
Not here.
Oh, God.
Oh, if this isn't real,
I don't wanna know.
- Told you I'd come back.
- And you did.
Kiss me.
I don't have a lot of time.
I had to see you.
- Then why are you here?
- Change of plans.
- Oh, don't stop.
What about your people?
- They're here too.
- Don't ever leave me again.
- I won't.
Lord Kal-El?
- Family friend?
- Very friendly.
Sir, forgive for reminding you how critical
your presence is at the palace.
- Palace?
- Temporary palace.
It floats.
Yes, Trey, I know.
Yes, well, in that case,
I suggest you unhand your friend
and return to your troops,
and your bride.
I hear you.
If it were my country
I'd wanna kick Godzilla's butt too.
I'm sure you would.
Ching, they took him away.
He was here and they took him away.
Do you have any idea how much
cookie-dough ice cream I've eaten?
- Where is Clark?
- In the palace.
I don't see any palace.
- That would be correct.
- Ching.
It's cloaked, so that even now
it is hovering undetected over the city.
Well, I gotta tell you
seeing him for less than a minute was
almost worse than not seeing him at all.
Almost, but not.
Yes, Kal-El, too,
said he was very "bumped.
"
Bummed.
- He was bummed.
- He feels your absence deeply.
I try to tell him that a Kryptonian
must disregard his own feelings.
Oh, right.
Like you're not sick inside
that Clark's married
to the woman you adore.
How's the marriage going, anyway?
Any squabbles, tiffs?
Door slammings?
Zara and Kal-El
do not have time for tiffs.
- Lord Nor is here.
- Why?
He learned he would
have super powers on Earth.
It made conquest too tempting
to resist.
Well, we have to do something.
We have to tell someone.
Earthly force is useless against him.
And if Kal-El cannot successfully
lead our men against Nor
then he will colonize your world.
Then all our dreams
yours, mine and Clark's, will be lost.
This is why he had to leave you.
And, yes, it does make me sick
to see Zara with Kal-El.
But not as sick as if both our worlds
were destroyed by Nor.
So this isn't just about your people
anymore, but mine as well.
Ching, I wanna see Clark.
There's
no way your customs will allow it?
Actually
there is one custom
that might interest you.
As your advisor, Kal-El
I regretfully endorse a preemptive strike
by our forces against Nor's.
We have no idea where he is
or whether we outnumber him.
- Well, my guess is we do.
- And a guess isn't good enough.
I have my peoples' lives to consider.
By "your people" do you mean us
or the ones on Earth?
Everyone.
If we do attack, the big losers'll be the
people of Earth, trapped in the crossfire.
Perhaps Kal-El's loyalty
has been compromised by sentiment.
If by "sentiment" you mean
that I value human life
yeah, I'm kind of a nut that way.
Husband, may we speak?
I know this is difficult.
I just don't like slaughter being discussed
like it's an inconvenience.
Every war harms the innocent.
Look at that map.
What do you see?
Troop deployments, mountains,
borders, rivers.
Yeah, well, I see neighborhoods,
parks, schoolyards.
Places where people expect
to be safe.
I will not rob those people
of their futures
just because Krypton
cannot solve its problems at home.
If that's what you want me to do, then
I have no business being your leader.
- A bit of domestic discord?
- You don't know the half of it.
Be patient, my lord.
The first few days of any marriage
are bound to be strained.
Trey
Lord Kal-El, I have brought you
something important.
- What, you found Nor?
- No.
- You have an estimate of his troops?
- No.
His attack plan?
No.
I have brought you a selection
of concubines.
Sorry?
It is our custom
for nobles to ease their tensions
with the help
of professional caregivers.
Guys, I am trying to hold
this unstable alliance together
long enough to defeat Nor's army,
and you guys are talking concubines?
If you'll just take a moment
to inspect these women.
I do not inspect women, Ching.
I'm telling you that
That this could be
a really good custom.
Chief.
Trouble in Smallville.
- What kind?
- Don't know.
- What are the facts?
- Can't get any.
- Who there have you talked to?
- No one.
Clark's hometown is Smallville.
Have Lois get in touch with him.
- She can't.
- Why not?
I'm not sure.
Boy, you're just a fountain
of information.
How in the sam hill do you even know
there's trouble?
A U.
S.
spy satellite shows a force field
of unknown origin sealing the city off.
A team of investigators
are on their way.
Hey, Chief, take a look at this.
I'm Leeza Gibbons,
live from Smallville, Kansas.
Judas Priest.
Scooped.
My very special guest today
is Lord Nor of New Krypton.
Welcome.
- Thank you, Leeza.
- So, what brings you to Earth?
We're a caring planet, Leeza.
An advanced culture sharing its bounty
with a more primitive one.
Mr.
Nor, the tough questions: Why
a force field? Why over the entire city?
Well, I don't have to talk to you
about crime, Leeza.
The field is basically a protective device
to keep the town safe from intruders.
And not to keep
the people of Smallville in?
Well, that's up to them.
Needless to say, it would be vastly safer
for them to remain inside.
- And how would leaving endanger them?
- Well, they'd be killed, by me.
These people are your prisoners.
Well, "prisoners"
is such a pejorative term.
- What would you call them?
- Students.
I aim to educate the people to accept me
as their unquestioned ruler.
And what more do you want?
To educate the entire world
along similar lines.
Well, in fact, if there are any kings,
presidents, princes
or interested world leaders listening,
we really should get together
to discuss the rapid transfer
of global power to me.
You can't expect legitimate
heads of state to accept this situation.
Indeed.
And if there's any doubt
we'll start killing two quivering citizens
of Smallville every day
until we get a polite response.
Starting with these two.
What are your feelings
about being executed?
Concubines? I thought this
was some great, evolved civilization.
I mean, look at me, I'm on a leash.
Yeah, well, look at the outfit
they put me in.
Well, actually, I don't mind yours.
So this must be the bridal bed?
Comfy.
I suppose.
And my Clark, a married man.
A married lord.
You know, I was meaning
to ask you, Clark:
- Just how married are you?
- What?
Well, I know that you feel an obligation
to your people.
And you are a pretty thorough guy
when it comes to details
and you do look good, really great,
in the new suit.
Better than the blue and the cape?
Oh, no, I'm not knocking the blue suit,
it's just that this is more
More.
And I know that you got married
in good faith
and you are a man of your word.
How married are you?
Lois
I promised you first.
I can't even explain how frustrating
all this has been for me.
Posing as a husband.
Stumbling
over these very strange customs.
I'm asked to lead people who don't even
completely trust me.
And the only time that I feel real
is inside my head
thinking about you.
Well, I'm here now.
Do you mind? I'm on the clock here.
Forgive me, sir, but Lord Nor
has captured the village of Smallville
and claimed it as his own.
There's the target, gentlemen.
All right, move back.
- I know.
- Target in sight.
Attention, space creatures.
I am Colonel Ambrose Cash,
United States Army.
We are giving you a chance to throw
down your arms and surrender at once.
Is it worth reminding the colonel
that these Kryptonians are invincible
and the only ones in danger
are the people of Smallville?
- Sir.
- Lieutenant, we are under orders.
These United States
ain't theirs for the taking.
Yeah, those devils are ignoring us.
Open fire.
Okay.
Return and tell your people
never again to attempt
these amateurish tactics.
You can't stop us.
Chief.
Chief, the U.
N.
's ordered
the world's military
to stand down
for the next 48 hours.
They wanna negotiate
with the Kryptonians
sell them on the American dream.
Of course.
I lost men out there.
Bunch of weaklings.
Mr.
White, the Kryptonian high command
is commandeering this building.
Now, just hold on there.
Aren't you
the fella that took Superman away?
He's also the one
that's bringing him back, chief.
Look.
- Superman.
- Cool outfit.
Mr.
White, forgive the intrusion, but the
Kryptonian force needs to be dealt with.
This communications center would make
a great base, if that's all right.
- Yeah, sure.
- Then I'll move in too.
- Keep an eye on you.
- Lois?
- I want
- Jimmy, do me a favor.
Get Dr.
Klein on the phone, please.
What's the current status of Smallville?
All the water and power's
been cut off.
Kryptonians don't need water or food.
The ones being hurt are the people.
Dr.
Klein, it's Olsen from the Planet.
Hold for Superman.
Dr.
Klein? It's me.
I'll need your kryptonite specimen
removed from the vault.
It may be the only resolution
to the Smallville situation.
I don't know what kryptonite is, but
if Lord Nor has been behaving illegally
If? He's holding
an entire town hostage.
Why this incessant worry
about this stupid town?
Well, maybe Kal-El has a plan
of his own.
We don't know what's going on inside
the force field and can't penetrate it.
But if we could find a way of infiltrating,
we could look around.
I could go too.
My fianc� is from there,
and I know the place.
Sir, I really must request
that the wishes of the elders be heeded.
And I really must insist
that we do as I say.
All right, Superman.
And who are you
to insist we do anything?
Who am I, Jen Mai?
I am your commander.
This is the green, my lord.
- Move along, earthling.
- Says here this is the most important
part of the game.
- Really?
Left arm remains straight.
- Eye remains on the ball.
- Fascinating.
I could love this game.
The grass surrounding the cup
is shorter and sturdier
and should be trimmed
to five-eighths of an inch.
Keep it moving there.
Sand trap.
Sand trap.
Why would you wanna trap sand?
Very strange game.
Hi, Mom, Dad.
- Clark.
- Honey, I can't believe
- Clark had to return because of Lord Nor.
- He's here, son.
- He's made us into his slaves.
- I know.
So we're gonna become slaves too,
see if we can't undo all this mess.
Concubine to slave.
Is that a step down?
- What's that?
- Someone has to stand up to you.
I'd rather burn the damn golf course
than be your slave on it.
Hey.
Back to the village.
- Back to work.
Clean up this green.
- You, carry the rebel.
- Nice flip.
- Heads or tails?
Hey.
Somebody call for a cab?
Look at our troops.
A lifetime
of Kryptonian discipline forgotten.
Don't be so insufferably dull.
All that discipline's left them starved
for a little debauchery.
What's the harm?
Well, it certainly
wouldn't be allowed at home.
It certainly wouldn't.
Which is why so many of our comrades
will leave that wretched rock
and follow me here to paradise.
My lord, townspeople are begging
for water.
- Their tongues are blistered with thirst.
- The point being?
They'll have what's rationed to them
and not a drop more.
- They'll have their government to thank.
- They'll all die slow and horrible deaths.
No, not all.
The lucky ones will be executed.
Come on, you earthlings.
From what I've been able to pick up
their plan is to make city after city
surrender.
Metropolis being first on the list.
Look at us.
I always sort of figured
we'd be on our honeymoon
about right now.
Well, at least you're here with me.
Being without you, that was bad.
- And besides
- What?
Well, if you wanna know the truth,
it's kind of exciting.
It just seems to be
the way our life together is.
Oh, God.
Do you think that's
what makes our relationship work?
No.
- Okay.
This looks like a good place.
- For what?
You drilled a well?
We've gotta get some water
to all these people.
You two, back to work.
Come on, move it along.
Promise me, once in a while
we'll have a quiet evening at home.
Yes.
Here you go.
Here's some water.
Okay.
Careful.
Drink it slow.
Hey, Drull, see that old guy
over there?
Use him as your target.
You watching, prisoner?
- No, please, I'm begging you.
No.
- All right, Drull, freeze it.
Excellent.
A most efficient
manner of execution.
Come on.
Prepare to die.
Who are you to be accusing me?
I saw all that food you were hoarding.
It's not fair.
- She's lying.
Liar!
- I am not.
I saw it myself.
Oh, don't you push me.
Don't you touch me!
- What are you doing?
- Get your hands off me.
Stop it! Stop it.
Who do you think you are?
Get away from me!
Stop at once.
Ran, Drull, do you see
what's happened?
You fools.
You've lost control
of these wretches.
We'll find him, Lord Nor.
It's not just the worthless prisoner,
the whole mood of the town is changing.
And I believe I know why.
I've just received some disturbing news
from an unimpeachable source.
Jonathan and Martha Kent,
show yourselves.
Let's see how much he cares
for Mom and Dad.
Let's go.
Out of the way.
Move aside.
It's okay.
- Come on, old man.
- Leave them alone.
- Martha.
- What are you gonna do?
Let's go.
I told you you'd be the first to go
if I didn't get what I want.
Well
what I want is Kal-El.
Lord Kal-El? I know you're among us.
I'm still waiting, Kal-El.
And I assure you
my credentials in the field
of excruciating death are impeccable.
What do you want with me, Nor?
Where do I start?
I want your throne, Kal-El.
And I want your world.
And I want you gone
forever.
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