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I'm leaving.
Go on then.that toilet isn't going to plumb itself....
*** PLUMBING, AND *** YOU!!!
Luigi? Why do you talk to your brother like this?
That's right Mario.
Because we're 'brothers'. We're "Mario Brothers Plumbing". So explain to me..
Mario, why if we're brothers, I do all the *** work?
Hey, I still do plenty of plumbing.
You do not plumb for ***, Mario. Seriously, when was the last time you plumbed something?
It's always "Oh, Luigi, can you go sort out that messy blockage, I have to go and exterminate
the world's turtle population!" Who the *** put you in charge, turtle Hitler?
Hey, I know lots about plumbing...
What's this?
erm.......back-scratcher?
It's a spanner set.
Hey, so I'm a little rusty. It's only because I'm spending so much time rescuing the princess...
Rescuing the *** prin ... tell me Mario, how many times have we saved the princess now?
well...
Seven hundred and thirty two times, Mario. Seven hundred and thirty-***-two times.
We've saved her in Go-karts. We've saved her from freak industrial spillages.
We've been to space to save her Mario! Space! Twice! In a space-ship shaped like your big fat *** head!
Do you have any idea how much that cost, Mario? Do you have any idea how much *** I had to wade through to fund that, Mario?
Well, maybe we wouldn't have had to spend so much time saving the princess if we'd had less of the whining?
We're *** bankrupt Mario!! I told you to lay off the savings account, but you had to go and blow it all on real estate!
I bought you a *** mansion for your birthday.
IT WAS *** HAUNTED!
That is why I gave you special ghost plumbing equipment.
IT WAS A *** VACUUM CLEANER!
A vacuum cleaner isn't ghost plumbing equipment?
Luigi: NO! NO IT IS NOT!
Well, remind me not to get you a birthday present next year.
Luigi: IT WASN'T EVEN MY BIRTHDAY!
You know what, *** you! I'm going to go see the princess! Save the Princess..
From what? Save the Princess from what?
From Bowser!
THEY'RE MARRIED!
No......NO....Luigi,
They got married last year. I was the best man. It was beautiful; flowers,a three course banquet, a full string quartet. It was perfect...
UNTIL YOU SHOWED UP, *** OFF YOUR FACE ON MUSHROOMS, PUNCHED OUT THE GROOM AND KIDNAPPED THE BRIDE!!!
AND THEN I HAD TO MORTGAGE OFF MY HAUNTED *** MANSION TO POST BAIL!
No!
You're lying. She wouldn't do that to me, she loves me!
Ever since you asked her out in college, and she said no, I've had to live with your denial!
Instead of living my own life, I've had to facilitate your every attempt to screw some chick who friend-zoned you!
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT BROTHERS ARE FOR!
No ..no. *** YOU! I'm going to go see her! Maybe you should go crying back to mama?
DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT MAMA! DON'T YOU *** DARE!
I can talk about mama however I want to...
SHE'S DEAD, MARIO! YOU KILLED HER! YOU TOOK ALL THE MONEY I HAD SAVED FOR HER CHEMO, AND YOU SPENT IT ALL ON *** MUSHROOMS!!!
No, Luigi...
I sat by her bed every night. She would look at me and go "Where is Mario? Where is my son?"
And I would look at her and go, "He's busy plumbing mama!He's busy plumbing"
BUT YOU WEREN'T *** PLUMBING, WERE YOU?
OOooo....
WHAT IS THIS ?
A........contraceptive?
No! No. It's a plunger! Its used for plumbing! You use it like THIS!
DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!