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>>> TIME NOW FOR "THE
RIDICULIST."
TONIGHT WE'RE TAKING YOU TO A
GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY.
NAMELY HOLLYWOOD.
HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD WHERE IN
BROAD DAYLIGHT A GUY SMASHED THE
WINDOWS OF AN LAPD PATROL CAR
RIGHT THERE.
DARTH VADER WAS ALSO THERE.
MR. VADER JUST STOOD THERE
WATCHING HIS THIS GUY FORCE HIS
WAY INTO THE POLICE CAR, STEAL A
LAPTOP AND WALK OVER TO TEST IT
OUT AT A KIOSK.
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT IT MAKES
SENSE.
DARTH VADER IS A MASTER OF THE
DARK SIDE, A VILLAIN, SO WHY
WOULD HE ACTUALLY STOP A CRIME?
IT'S NOT LIKE HE COULD SNEAK UP
ON THE GUY, POKE HIM WITH A
PLASTIC LIGHT SABRE.
THAT WOULD TOTALLY GIVE HIM
AWAY.
ON THE OTHER HAND, SURELY
SUPERMAN WOULD TAKE ACTION OR AT
LEAST STAND THERE WHY THE GUILE
GOT
THE GUY GOT ARRESTED.
WHY WOULDN'T SUPERMAN GET
INVOLVED?
>> I SAW THE WHOLE THING.
IT'S NOT MY JOB TO JUMP IN THE
MIDDLE.
>> YEAH.
SO THIS IS THE PART OF HOLLYWOOD
BOULEVARD WHERE THE COSTUME
CHARACTERS HANG OUT.
IF YOU'VE SEEN THE DOCUMENTARY
"CONFESSIONS OF A SUPERHERO" YOU
KNOW THEY'RE NOT THERE TO JUMP
IN THE MIDDLE OF OF SKETCHY
SITUATIONS, THERE TO TAKE PHOTOS
WITH TOURISTS FOR TIPS.
THERE'S A VERY STRICT UNWRITTEN
CODE OF CONDUCT.
>> JUST REMEMBER, SUPERHEROES
DON'T SMOKE.
IT'S AN IMAGE.
>> GHOST RIDER.
>> GHOST RIDER DOESN'T SMOKE.
>> HE'S MADE OF FIRE.
>> BUT STILL, HE DOESN'T SMOKE
CIGARETTES.
YOU'LL NEVER SEE GHOST RIDER
SMOKING A CIGARETTE WALKING DOWN
THE STREET.
IT'S JUST NOT PROPER.
>> I WANT 30 SECONDS OF MY LIFE
BACK.
ON THE DAY IN QUESTION, SUPERMAN
MAY NOT HAVE SWOOPED IN BUT HE
DID GIVE THE LOCAL NEWS A PRETTY
DETAILED ACCOUNT OF WHAT
HAPPENED WHEN THE GUY GOT
ARRESTED.
>> SO HIS FACE WAS ON SUSAN
LUCCI'S STAR.
>> THEY ACTUALLY STARTED TAKE
HIM DOWN BACK HERE.
BUT LIKE I WAS SAYING EARLIER,
HE WAS RESISTING ARREST.
>> THIS WAS A THREE-STAR PURSUIT
THEN.
>> IT WAS.
>> SANDRA BULLOCK, KEANU REEVES.
>> ACTUALLY IT'S A GOOD LINEUP.
>> HIS FACE WAS ON SUSAN LUCCI'S
STAR.
HERE'S THE PROBLEM.
I'VE ALWAYS SAID THIS.
DON'T SEND SUPERMAN TO DO WHAT
IS CLEARLY A JOB FOR LETTERMAN.
REMEMBER THE ELECTRIC COMPANY?
>> STRONGER THAN SILENT E, ABLE
TO LEAP CAPITAL T IN A SINGLE
BOUND.
IT'S A WORD, IT'S A PLAN, IT'S
LETTERMAN!
TAKING A W FROM HIS CHEST, HE
COVERS UP THE D-R AND TURNS THE
DRAGON BACK A WAGON.
>> IF LETTERMAN WAS THERE HE