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>> SLOANE'S BACK WITH HAIR
EXTENSIONS IN HER HAIR.
>> I KNOW MARKI. SHE'LL GO
CRAY CRAY.
>> DO YOU KNOW WHAT SLOANE DID?
SHE FLUSHED IT ALL DOWN THE
TOILET.
>> I'M SLOANE'S MOM SHELBY.
>> OK.
>> YOU ARE NOT HELPING HER! YOU
NEED TO GIVE HER SOME TOUGH
MOTHER LOVE.
>> I WILL OUTTALK YOU.
>> I DON'T GIVE A [BEEP] ABOUT
FAKE HAIR. IT'S SUPER [BEEP]
FICIAL!
>> "HELLO! I'M ANGELICA
GONZALEZ."
ANGELICA HAS DIVULGED THAT
SHE NOW WANTS TO BE A HOST. SHE
NEEDS TO WORK ON LOTS OF THINGS,
INCLUDING HER FAKE VOICE.
"HELLO. HELLO. HI! HELLO!" JUST
SHOW THE WORLD YOU! YOU'RE
FUNNY. YOU CRACK ME UP.
>> NOW THAT SHE'S ON THIS
HOSTING PATH, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN
SHE NEEDS TO GO ON AUDITIONS?
>> HA HA HA!
WHEN THAT DAY COMES...
>> [LAUGHTER]
>> I'LL MOST LIKELY BE DEAD, SO
I WILL LET HER OTHER MANAGER
WORRY ABOUT THAT.
>> ♪ OH, SHE'S EVERYTHING I NEED
SO SURE I'LL MAKE THE MONEY
IF YOU WANT TO SUCCEED
YOU KNOW I CAN GET IT ♪
>> I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME AND
JACOBI'S PICTURE RIGHT NOW
BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE WE LOOK LIKE
A WASPY CHRISTMAS PHOTO.
>> OK. READY?
>> SHOULD I ACT LIKE THE
STRAIGHT DAD? A LOT OF STRAIGHT
GUYS GIVE THE THUMBS UP.
>> SMILE.
THERE YOU GO. GOT IT. OK.
>> THANKS.
>> AND MARKI SAYS I DON'T DO MY
WORK.
>> I'M VERY OFFENDED BY THE FACT
THAT THEY'RE TAKING 'WASPY"
PICTURES AND I DIDN'T GET
"WASPY" INVITED TO THEIR "WASPY"
FEST? IT'S BECAUSE I'M NOT WHITE
ENOUGH?
>> YOU GUYS, LET'S HAVE THE
MEETING, PLEASE.
POPPY JAMIE IS COMING TO TOWN.
WE ARE SPONSORING HER WORK VISA,
AND WE REALLY HAVE AN URGENCY TO
GET HER A JOB WITHIN THE 3
MONTHS. SHE'S A BIG, BIG HOST IN
THE U.K. POPPY IS MONEY. SHE IS
A FIND. SHE HAS THIS DISARMING
CHARM THAT'S SILLY AND FUN AND
WITTY. THE CELEBRITIES JUST LOVE
HER. SHE HAS THIS INTERVIEW WITH
JUDE LAW, AND SHE FALLS OFF THE
CHAIR. AND SHE'S LAUGHING AND
SHE'S CRYING, AND JUDE LAW IS
LAUGHING AND CRYING. AND THEN
SHE PROCEEDS TO GIVE THE MOST
WICKED INTERVIEW I'VE EVER SEEN
IN MY LIFE. SHE IS A PRO. SHE IS
POPPY.
ALSO, ANGELICA--WE HAVE A LITTLE
BIT OF NEWS--WILL BE PARTAKING
IN THIS WEEKEND'S BOOT CAMP.
>> WHAT?
>> YAY!
>> ANGELICA IS GOING TO TAKE THE
PLUNGE. IF SHE REALLY WANTS TO
BE ON-CAMERA TALENT, I THINK
THAT SHE SHOULD GET THE TRAINING
THAT SHE NEEDS, SO I INVITED
ANGELICA TO ATTEND MY BOOT CAMP.
I'M JUST HOPING THAT HER HOSTING
SKILLS ARE BETTER THAN HER
RECEPTIONIST SKILLS. LET'S JUST
PUT IT THAT WAY.
ARE YOU NERVOUS?
>> YES, NERVOUS AND EXCITED,
BOTH.
>> YOU'D BETTER DO GOOD.
>> YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE. JUST
TAKE IT ALL IN.
>> MARKI--BASICALLY, SHE IS THE
NUMBER-ONE HOSTING TEACHER, BUT
I'M NERVOUS THAT I'M JUST GONNA
SUCK REALLY BAD, AND THEN THAT'S
IT. I'M DONE. MY [BEEP] HOSTING
CAREER--IT'S OVER.
>> I ALSO NEED--I NEED TO FIND
A NANNY.
>> [WHINES]
>> I NOMINATE ANGELICA FOR THE
JOB. I MEAN, ONCE ANGELICA'S
CAREER ON CAMERA FIZZLES, SHE
COULD START RIGHT UP.
>> I WOULD EVEN BE OPEN FOR A
MANNY...
>> YEAH.
>> WHICH IS A MALE NANNY, A
MANNY.
WHY ARE YOU SMILING?
>> NO, BECAUSE I JUST THOUGHT OF
TRANNY.
>> A TRANNY?
>> SHE PROBABLY KNOWS A COUPLE
OF GOOD TRANNIES. THEY PROBABLY
EXCHANGE BREEDY TIPS.
>> [LAUGHTER]
>> MANNY, NANNY, TRANNY--THEY
ALL RHYME. WHATEVER.
>> AND I MAKE ONE LITTLE JOKE,
AND THEN THEY CALL ME A TRANNY.
IT'S LIKE RUDE. IT REALLY HURT
MY FEELINGS.
>> WHY ARE YOU GETTING
EMOTIONAL?
>> IT'S BECAUSE OF MY PERIOD.
>> WELL, I'VE GOT MY PERIOD,
TOO, BUT YOU DON'T SEE ME--
>> I'VE GOT MY PERIOD, TOO.
>> SHE DOESN'T EVEN USE TAMPONS.
>> IT'S SO WEIRD TO ME THAT YOU
GUYS DON'T USE TAMPONS.
HONESTLY.
>> WHO DOESN'T USE TAMPONS?
>> YES. I USE PADS. AND WE DON'T
HAVE ANY, SO I'M A LITTLE BIT
FRUSTRATED, SO I'M GOING TO GO
RIGHT OUT TO 7-ELEVEN AND DO
SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
>> SO BECAUSE YOU ONLY WEAR
PADS, YOU WON'T PUT A *** ON?
>> SHE'S A ***.
>> I'M NOT GONNA--YOU KNOW,
IT'S--I'M NOT GONNA SHOVE THAT
UP MY ***.
>> OH, INTERESTING. I DIDN'T
EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT.
>> OH, THAT'S WHY.
>> YEAH.
>> DID YOU KNOW THAT?
>> I DID.
>> I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD A PAD.
HE SAID NO.
>> WHY WOULD JACOBI HAVE A PAD?
>> OH, MY GOSH. I'VE HEARD ABOUT
WOMEN WORKING IN AN OFFICE AND
HAVING THEIR PERIOD AT THE SAME
TIME. I THINK I NEED TO LAY LOW
THIS WEEK FOR SURE.
>> ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET TO WORK.
MY LORD, CAN WE EVER GET THROUGH
A MEETING WITHOUT TEARS,
DIAPERS, OR DIARRHEA?
>> I HAVE TOO MUCH WORK TO DO.
>> I'M JUST TRYING TO GET
THROUGH THESE EMAILS. TOMORROW,
JA-BAR.
>> WERE YOU LOOKING AT
TOMORROW'S EMAIL ABOUT THE
CASTING THAT WAS--
>> NO. WHAT DID SHE SAY?
>> SHE SAID THAT SHE WANTS TO
DO IT WITH HER SISTER, SO I
SUBMITTED HER FOR IT.
>> OK. WELL, THAT'S GOOD.
>> YEAH.
>> KATE!
I'M HAVING LUNCH WITH MY REALLY
GOOD FRIEND KATIE
WAGNER--HOLLYWOOD ROYALTY LIKE
ME. SHE IS ROBERT WAGNER'S
DAUGHTER, NATALIE WOOD'S
STEPDAUGHTER. SHE KNOWS
EVERYBODY IN HOLLYWOOD BECAUSE
HOLLYWOOD KIDS OR HOLLYWOOD
PEOPLE RUN AROUND WITH
HOLLYWOOD PEOPLE.
I REMEMBER WATCHING--AND THIS IS
SO FUNNY--I REMEMBER WATCHING
YOU YEARS AGO DOING, LIKE, A
90210, LIKE IN THE PEACH PIT...
>> THAT'S WHY I GOT MY SAG CARD.
>> INTERVIEWING, LIKE, I DON'T
KNOW, LUKE PERRY...
>> ALL OF THEM.
>> ALL OF THEM. YEAH. YOU DID A
WHOLE SPECIAL. THAT'S EVEN
BEFORE I HAD MY MANAGEMENT
COMPANY, AND I'LL NEVER FORGET,
LIKE, WATCHING YOU AND THINKING,
"WHAT A COOL JOB, TO INTERVIEW
CELEBRITIES," YOU KNOW WHAT I
MEAN?
SHE WORKED IN TELEVISION DOING
CELEBRITY NEWS, BUT LET'S JUST
PUT IT THIS WAY--IT'S BEEN A
LONG TIME. NOW SHE'S SORT OF
REINVENTING HERSELF AND COMING
BACK.
>> I HAVE THIS IDEA WHICH I WANT
TO THROW AT YOU.
>> OK.
>> IT'S MYSELF.
>> OK.
>> AND MY PARTNER, WHO IS A
PSYCHIC, ASTROLOGER,
CLAIRVOYANT. HER NAME IS VOXX.
>> DID SHE EVER READ YOU?
>> YEAH. I MEAN, SHE'S READ ME,
AND I'VE KNOWN HER--
>> IS SHE ACCURATE?
>> SHE'S SO ACCURATE IT'S
UNBELIEVABLE.
>> RIGHT. WOW. SO KATIE HAS THIS
IDEA OF HER WITH A COHOST, A
PSYCHIC, AND THE TWO OF THEM
DISH THE DIRT ON WHAT'S GOING ON
IN HOLLYWOOD, KATIE ASKING THE
QUESTIONS, VOXX ANSWERING THEM
VIA THE TAROT CARDS.
>> I'M THE HOLLYWOOD INSIDER.
SHE IS THE PERSON WHO IS WILLING
TO SAY WHATEVER.
>> SO WOULD IT BE, LIKE, YOU
ASKING ABOUT BRAD AND ANGIE? ARE
THEY EVER GONNA GET MARRIED?
>> YES. EXACTLY. EVERYTHING FROM
CELEBRITY GOSSIP, WORLD NEWS,
DISASTERS THAT ARE HAPPENING ALL
OVER THE PLACE. I'LL ASK HER A
QUESTION, AND SHE GOES TO THE
CARDS OR HER PSYCHIC, YOU
KNOW...
>> ABILITY.
>> INTUITION. I MEAN, SHE WILL
SAY...
>> WHATEVER.
KATIE WAGNER I'VE KNOWN FOR A
LONG TIME, AND IF SHE HAS AN
IDEA, I'M GOING TO LISTEN TO HER
BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS DO.
YOU HEAR SO MANY IDEAS IN OUR
BUSINESS, AND IF SOMEBODY
PITCHED ME "DUCK DYNASTY," I
WOULD HAVE SAID, "YOU'RE CRAZY,"
BUT IT'S THE NUMBER-ONE SHOW ON
TELEVISION. SO KATIE WAS
PITCHING ME THIS CONCEPT
INTERVIEW, AND, YOU KNOW,
REGARDLESS, BECAUSE OF OUR
RELATIONSHIP, I'M GONNA HELP
HER CULTIVATE IT, AND WE'LL SEE
WHAT HAPPENS.
>> I MEAN, SHE'S GOT A FOLLOWING
LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE ON THE
INTERNET. SHE'S GOT PEOPLE--SHE
DOES RADIO SHOWS AND STUFF
HERSELF. SHE'S GOT SO MANY
PEOPLE THAT ARE SO INTO HER,
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. I MEAN,
PSYCHICS ARE HOT.
>> WHEN YOU'RE BORN AND RAISED
IN THIS TOWN, YOU GET A LITTLE
KOOKY. I'M A LITTLE BIT
APPREHENSIVE ABOUT HER
RELATIONSHIP WITH VOXX. I'M NOT
SURE IF VOXX IS GOING TO MAKE
WONDERFUL TELEVISION, BUT THEN
THERE'S THAT LONG ISLAND MEDIUM,
AND APPARENTLY EVERYBODY LOVES
HER. SO I'M GONNA BE A LITTLE
OBJECTIVE HERE, AND I'M GOING TO
TAKE OFF MY FRIEND HAT AND PUT
ON MY MANAGER HAT AND SEE IF
THERE'S SOMETHING HERE OR NOT.
SO THE NEXT STEP, REALLY, WOULD
BE FOR ME TO MEET VOXX.
>> I'M SO EXCITED!
>> HEY!
>> HOW ARE YOU?
>> I'M GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
>> SLOANE IS MARKI'S PROSPECTIVE
CLIENT, AND I HEAR MARKI GAVE
HER QUITE THE MAKE-OVER.
>> THE FIRST THING WE WOULD
REALLY WANT TO DO IS MAYBE
REMOVE THE EXTENSIONS.
>> THIS IS WAY TOO SHORT. I
CAN'T. I CAN'T DO IT. [CRYING]
>> SLOANE INVITED ME TO GO OUT.
YEAH. SHE SAID SHE KNOWS OF A
FUN PLACE TO GO, AND I SAID,
"YEAH, WE SHOULD." YOU KNOW,
MAYBE I CAN GIVE HER SOME WORDS
OF WISDOM OR, YOU KNOW...
YOU LOOK THE SAME. YOUR HAIR
DOESN'T LOOK ANY DIFFERENT.
>> I HATED THE NEW LOOK. I
[BEEP] HATED IT. I'LL BE HONEST
WITH YOU. BECAUSE I LOVE MY
EXTENSIONS. I LOVE MY EYELASHES.
I LOVE MY MAKEUP.
>> I WOULD SAY KEEP ALL YOUR
EXTENSIONS. HONESTLY. THEY'RE
TRYING TO MAKE YOU LOOK
DIFFERENT. TOLD JACOBI, "HEY,
JACOBI, SHAVE YOUR HEAD BALD."
LET'S SEE HOW MANY GUYS HIT ON
YOU AFTER THAT.
>> EXACTLY.
>> I'M GONNA TELL JACOBI, "I'LL
TAKE OFF ALL YOUR TANNING LOTION
WITH A HOT TOWEL. LET'S SEE HOW
YOU LOOK IN REAL LIFE." AIN'T
NOBODY A NATURAL BEAUTY IN THE
OFFICE. I'M SORRY, MICHELLE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK MARKI'S GOING
TO THINK WHEN SHE SEES YOU AND
SEES THAT YOU'RE WEARING THE
EXTENSIONS?
>> WELL, SHE TOLD ME IF SHE EVER
FINDS, LIKE, EXTENSIONS IN MY
HAIR THAT SHE WOULD RIP THEM
OUT.
>> IF I EVER SEE ONE EXTENSION
CLIPPED INTO THAT HAIRDO, I WILL
RIP IT OFF AND BEAT YOU WITH IT,
OK?
>> HA HA HA! SO I'M GOING TO GO
OUT WITH MY LONG HAIR, BUT
WHENEVER I'M WITH MARKI GOING ON
AUDITIONS AND STUFF, I GUESS
IT'LL JUST BE A NEW SLOANE.
>> HA HA HA!
I THINK MARKI IS GOING TO GET
MAD WHEN SHE SEES SLOAN WITH
EXTENSIONS. BECAUSE I KNOW
MARKI. SHE'LL GO CRAY CRAY.
YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S TAKE A
PICTURE.
>> OK.
>> AND THEN PUT HASHTAG
"EXTENSIONS, ***."
>> OK. LET'S DO IT.
[BOTH LAUGH]
>> OH, MY GOD. I JUST TOOK A
SNAPSHOT OF SLOANE'S TWITTER.
>> WHAT?
>> WHAT?
>> WHAT?
>> YOU WENT TO A CLUB WITH HER?
>> YOU WENT TO A CLUB WITH
SLOANE?
>> OK, FIRST OF ALL, SHE HAS
HER EXTENSIONS BACK IN, WHICH
REALLY PISSES ME OFF.
>> WE WENT, HAD A COUPLE OF
DRINKS. WE TALKED TO SOME GUYS,
HAD A GOOD TIME, SOCIALIZED,
MINGLED.
>> OK, FIRST OF ALL, THAT IS
COMPLETELY UNPROFESSIONAL.
THAT'S UNPROFESSIONAL.
MY BLOOD STARTS TO BOIL. I DON'T
KNOW WHAT'S WORSE--THE FACT THAT
SLOANE IS IN A CLUB WITH
ANGELICA OR THE FACT THAT SHE
PUT IN THESE UGLY EXTENSIONS.
WHICH ONE IS WORSE? I DON'T
KNOW.
>> WHAT WAS YOUR--
>> I CAN'T.
>> WHAT WAS YOUR REASONING--
>> ANGELICA, WHY AREN'T YOU AT
THE FRONT DESK?
>> SHH!
>> YOUR JOB IS TO RECEIVE
PEOPLE. DOES YOUR SHIRT REALLY
SAY "GENIUS"?
>> NO, IT SAYS "STUPID."
>> DON'T. DON'T.
>> MARKI, I'M GONNA LOSE IT.
LIKE, I CAN'T.
>> I'M GONNA LOSE IT. YOU CAN'T
WHAT? WHAT IS GOING ON?
>> TELL HER!
>> WHAT DID SHE DO, JACOBI?
>> WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT IN THE
OFFICE WITH THE DOOR CLOSED.
>> SCREW THE OFFICE WITH THE
DOOR CLOSED. SHE WENT OUT WITH
SLOANE.
>> WHAT?
>> YOUR CLIENT, AND SLOANE'S
BACK WITH HAIR EXTENSIONS IN
HER HAIR.
>> LOOKING ALL CRAZY.
>> LOOK AT THIS.
>> PROOF. PICTURES DON'T LIE.
>> I TOOK A SNAPSHOT OF TWITTER.
>> WHEN WAS THIS PICTURE?
>> LAST NIGHT. LAST NIGHT WAS
THE PICTURE.
>> TWO MONTHS AGO, I GAVE HER A
HAIRCUT THAT NOW PAM ANDERSON,
JENNIFER LAWRENCE, JENNIFER
HUDSON ALL HAVE. WHO
HAD THAT HAIRCUT FIRST? SLOANE.
WHO GAVE SLOANE THAT HAIRCUT?
MARKI COSTELLO. WHY? BECAUSE I
KNOW MY [BEEP].
I OPENED UP MY HEART. I OPENED
UP MY ROLODEX. I SPENT 7 HOURS
OF MY DAY, AND I SPENT $1,700 OF
MY MONEY TO MAKE THAT GIRL LOOK
ADORABLE, TO GIVE THAT GIRL
SELF-ESTEEM, TO GIVE THAT GIRL A
SUCCESSFUL IMAGE THAT WE COULD
MARKET, BRAND, USE TO SELL HER
TO GET AN AMAZING JOB IN FRONT
OF THE CAMERA. BUT GUESS WHAT.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT SLOANE DID? SHE
FLUSHED IT ALL DOWN THE TOILET,
AND I'M GONNA TELL YOU SOMETHING
RIGHT NOW. SHE WILL NEVER BE A
CLIENT. I WILL NOT WORK WITH
SOMEONE WHO'S SO UNGRATEFUL.
WHAT AN AMAZING OPPORTUNITY.
MAYBE IT'S MY MISTAKE FOR
THINKING SHE WAS READY FOR CMEG
TO TAKE HER ON AND MANAGE HER,
BUT CLEARLY, JUST FROM SEEING
THAT PICTURE, SHE'S NOT.
>> I'LL BUY HER SOMETHING. I'LL
BUY HER A TICKET BACK TO TEXAS.
>> OH, YOU WON'T HAVE TO BUY HER
A TICKET BACK TO TEXAS, BECAUSE
LET ME TELL YOU WHERE SLOANE
WILL BE. 10 YEARS FROM NOW,
SHE'LL BE SLINGING HASH AT THE
IHOP.
>> OUCH.
>> ASKING SOMEONE, YOU KNOW
WHAT? "DO YOU WANT AN EXTRA SIDE
OF BACON WITH THAT SHORT STACK?"
THAT'S EXACTLY WHERE SLOANE'S
CAREER IS GOING.
>> FIRED, FIRED, FIRED. NOT
REPPING YOU, NOT REPPING YOU,
NOT REPPING YOU.
>> I LITERALLY PULLED HER OUT OF
THE GUTTER. SHE WAS TWO MINUTES
AWAY FROM BEING A ***. IT'S
JUST A WASTE OF MY GOOD TIME.
I'M NOT DOING IT ANYMORE.
COOCH-A-COO. LOOKIT. THERE'S A
PUMPKIN, FINNY.
>> I LOVE SPENDING TIME WITH
FINN. HE'S, LIKE, MY PRIDE AND
JOY AND MY BEST BUDDY, BUT
HAVING A NANNY WILL DEFINITELY
HELP ME GET MORE ART DONE. IT'LL
HELP ME GET THE THINGS DONE THAT
I'VE PUT OFF FOR SO MANY YEARS
NOW.
SO HOW MANY PEOPLE DO THEY LOOK
AT? OR ARE THEY JUST CALLING
THEM?
>> HERE'S WHAT I'M GONNA HAVE
THE OFFICE DO. I'M GONNA HAVE
THEM GO THROUGH A SERVICE SO
THEY VET THEM AND THEY CHECK
THEIR BACKGROUND AND THEY KNOW
EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM, BECAUSE I
THINK IN THIS DAY AND AGE IT'S
SO SCARY. I DO HAVE TO LET THEM
KNOW IF WE WANT MALE OR FEMALE,
SO I THINK WE SHOULD SEE BOTH,
RIGHT?
>> YEAH, I DEFINITELY WANT TO
SEE BOTH.
>> I CAN'T. NOPE.
>> WHY CAN'T YOU EAT SOMETHING?
THAT'S WHY YOU'RE--
>> NO.
>> WHAT? WHAT?
COME HERE.
GETTING A NANNY IS GOING TO
IMPROVE OUR RELATIONSHIP SO
MUCH. TOMMY AND I NEED THAT TIME
TOGETHER.
AND ULTIMATELY IT'LL BE FUN FOR
FINN. SO HERE'S MY QUESTION TO
YOU. DO YOU WANT TO HAVE A
BABYSITTER THAT'S A BOY OR A
GIRL?
>> A BOY.
>> A BOY? OK.
>> NO, A GIRL.
>> A GIRL? OK.
>> NOW WHICH ONE DO YOU WANT?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> HA HA HA!
>> WHAT ARE YOU GUYS UP TO?
>> WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT
OUR WEEKEND PLANS. WHAT ARE YOU
DOING THIS WEEKEND?
>> OH, MY GOD. THIS WEEKEND IS
THE FREAKING BOOT CAMP.
HONESTLY, I REALLY DON'T WANT TO
GO. I'M VERY NERVOUS ABOUT THE
BOOT CAMP COMING THIS WEEK
BECAUSE I--I'M VERY SCARED OF
MARKI'S CRITICISM. I FEEL LIKE
I'M GONNA START CRYING OUT OF
NOWHERE AND JUST BE A LITTLE BIT
HUMILIATED, EMBARRASSED, SHY IN
FRONT OF EVERYBODY. SHE'S GONNA
BE POKING FUN AT ME. IT'S
OBVIOUS SHE'S GONNA BE MESSING
WITH ME, LIKE, BEYOND, LIKE--
>> WHAT?
>> IT'S ME. SHE KNOWS SHE CAN
"F." YOU KNOW, SHE [BEEP] MESSES
WITH ME ALREADY HERE IN THE
OFFICE. IMAGINE THERE, SHE'S
GONNA--OH, NO.
>> SHE'S NOT GONNA DO THAT. WHY
WOULD SHE DO THAT?
>> SHE'S GONNA BE LIKE THIS.
>> ANGELICA IS COMPLETELY
LACKING SELF-CONFIDENCE. SHE
NEEDS TO SHOW PEOPLE IN THE
INDUSTRY THAT SHE IS A SERIOUS
TALENT IF SHE WANTS TO MAKE IT
AS A HOST.
>> MARKI IS IN THE BUSINESS OF
MAKING MONEY. SHE WOULD NOT
WASTE A SEAT ON YOU IN THE BOOT
CAMP THAT A STUDENT COULD PAY
FOR ON YOU IF SHE DIDN'T THINK
YOU WERE GOOD. NOW, THE
BEST-CASE SCENARIO IS, MARKI
LOVES YOU. YOU DO AN AMAZING
JOB. SHE WANTS TO SIGN YOU
IMMEDIATELY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO
GET COFFEE FOR ANYBODY ANYMORE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO ORGANIZE
CLEANERS OR GET FLOWERS.
>> YOU KNOW, I'M VERY, LIKE,
REALISTIC. I'M A REALIST. I'M A
REALIST.
>> YOU'RE ON ANOTHER BREAK?
>> SO, LIKE, DID SOMEBODY IN
YOUR FAMILY TELL YOU SOMEWHERE
ALONG THE LINE THAT YOU WEREN'T
GOOD ENOUGH?
>> EVERYBODY, ACTUALLY, YEAH.
THEY'RE ALWAYS SAYING--
>> YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
>> MICHELLE, THAT'S NOT HELPING.
>> AND I AGREE. THANK YOU,
MICHELLE, FOR BEING HONEST WITH
ME.
>> NO. SHE'S MESSING WITH YOU.
SEE? SHE TAKES THAT REALLY
SERIOUSLY. LIKE, DON'T SAY
THINGS LIKE THAT TO HER.
>> SEND IN KATIE WAGNER WHEN SHE
GETS HERE! I'M BRINGING KATIE
AND VOXX INTO THE OFFICE TO SORT
OF GET A SENSE OF HOW THEY WORK
OFF EACH OTHER AND TO SEE IF
THIS IDEA HAS ANY LEGS.
>> KATIE WAGNER WALKS IN, AND
TRAILING BEHIND HER IS ELVIRA--A
VERY UNSEXY VERSION OF ELVIRA.
>> HI, LADIES.
>> HI, LADIES.
>> HOW ARE YOU?
>> I'M VOXX.
[ORGAN PLAYING SCARY MUSIC]
>> VOXX LOOKS LIKE A PSYCHIC,
YOU KNOW? IT'S LIKE, IF SOMEONE
SAID, "WHAT DOES A VAMPIRE LOOK
LIKE?" THEY'RE PALE. THEY HAVE
FANGY TEETH, AND THEY'VE GOT RED
LIPS AND TONGUES, YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M SAYING? SO I THINK VOXX
LOOKS LIKE A PSYCHIC.
HEY, SO, VOXX, I DID DO SOME
RESEARCH ON YOU.
>> GREAT.
>> OBVIOUSLY YOU HAVE AN AMAZING
REPUTATION.
>> SHE'S TUNED IN ON ALL THE
GOSSIP THAT'S HAPPENING OUT
THERE.
>> RIGHT. LET'S SAY THERE'S A
BIG RUMOR GOING AROUND, AND IT'S
ON THE COVER OF EVERY TABLOID
AND TOP LEAD STORY. WOULD YOU
COVER THAT?
>> I WOULD DEFINITELY ASK VOXX,
AND SHE WOULD GO TO THE CARDS.
SHE READS THEM. SHE EXPLAINS TO
THE AUDIENCE WHAT THAT MEANS.
THERE'S A DIFFERENT INTUITION
AND A DIFFERENT SORT OF TAKE
THAT VOXX HAS WITH HER, YOU
KNOW, UNIQUENESS.
>> I THINK KATIE AND VOXX MAKE
AN INTERESTING TEAM. ULTIMATELY
KATIE IS THE VOICE OF REASON,
AND THAT'S SORT OF SILLY, IF YOU
KNOW KATIE. SO I'M A LITTLE BIT
NERVOUS. LET'S JUST CALL A FACT
A FACT.
>> IT WORKS. I MEAN, SHE'S THE
REAL DEAL.
>> THE REALITY IS, THIS HAS TO
BE SHOT. I HAVE SOME DOUBTS
ABOUT THIS PROJECT, BUT BECAUSE
SHE IS ONE OF MY REALLY GOOD
FRIENDS, I WILL PUT THEM ON
TAPE, AND WE'LL GO FROM THERE.
LET'S SHOOT IT IN MY STUDIO.
>> SO YOU'LL HELP US PRODUCE IT?
>> I WANT TO TRY IT. STAFF?
IT'S ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES AND
IF IT'S BAD, I'M NOT SURE HOW
SHE'S GONNA TAKE WHAT I HAVE TO
SAY.
WE WANT TO FIGURE OUT WHEN THE
PRODUCTION STUDIO IS FREE.
CHECK THE CALENDAR.
>> I'M PREDICTING A THURSDAY.
>> UH, YOU GUYS, HAVE YOU MET
VOXX AND KATE? IS THE ROOM
AVAILABLE?
>> IT'S AVAILABLE ON THURSDAY.
>> WOW. CREEPY. OOH.
LOVE YOUR WORK, GUYS. BYE.
>> BYE.
POPPY!
>> MARKI!
>> POPPY IN L.A.!
MWAH. MWAH.
>> I'M POPPY, AND I'M A TV
PRESENTER IN THE U.K. MY AGENT
IN THE U.K. PUT ME IN CONTACT
WITH MARKI BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS
KNOWN THAT THE U.S. IS MY PLACE.
I MET WITH A TON OF OTHER
AGENTS, MANAGERS, BUT NO ONE
LIVED UP TO MARKI.
>> SO HOW ARE YOU LOVING THIS?
>> OH, MY GOSH.
>> BEVERLY HILLS?
>> OH, IT'S SO FABULOUS. IT'S SO
FABULOUS.
>> I WANTED TO MEET POPPY FOR
LUNCH BECAUSE I HAD SENT POPPY,
LITERALLY THE DAY AFTER SHE
ARRIVED HERE, ON HER VERY FIRST
AUDITION, AND I WANTED TO SEE
HOW IT WENT, HOW SHE FELT ABOUT
IT, AND I REALLY WANT TO JUST
GAUGE HER.
SO IT WAS YOUR FIRST AUDITION.
>> MY FIRST AUDITION, AND I FELT
LIKE THEY DIDN'T REALLY ASK ANY
QUESTIONS ABOUT ME. I WALKED IN.
THEY JUST SAID, "READ," AND THEY
SAID, "LEAVE."
MY FIRST AUDITION WENT AWFULLY!
I KIND OF STUTTERED READING, AND
THEN I WAS WORRIED THAT THEY
WERE GETTING BORED, AND SO I
SPED UP, AND THAT'S THE WORST
THING TO DO.
>> EVERY MEETING AND AUDITION IS
GONNA BE DIFFERENT, BUT I'M GLAD
THAT WAS YOUR FIRST AUDITION, TO
BE HONEST, BECAUSE I NEVER WANT
YOU TO USE AN AUDITION AS A
PLACE TO PRACTICE, BUT I FEEL
LIKE THAT WAS A SORT OF GOOD
FIRST AUDITION TO SORT OF GET
YOUR FEET WET.
THE REALITY IS, THIS IS JUST THE
BEGINNING OF A LOT TO COME. I
KNOW SHE'S A STAR, AND I KNOW
SHE'S GONNA WORK.
I HAVE SET UP "EXTRA." I'M GONNA
KEEP YOU VERY, VERY BUSY.
>> I LOVE "EXTRA."
>> BUT A MANAGER'S JOB IS TO
MANAGE AND BUILD, AND I'M GONNA
BUILD AND MANAGE, AND WE'LL ALL
WORK TOGETHER AS A TEAM. OH,
I'VE ALREADY GOT A BOYFRIEND FOR
YOU RIGHT HERE, POPPY. THIS GUY
IS CALLED LOUD MAN. NOW, MEN
LIKE THIS HAVE SMALL PENISES.
>> HA HA HA!
>> STAY AWAY FROM THEM.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL TAKE
MARKI'S WORD FOR IT.
>> THAT WAS FANTASTIC. I ALREADY
PAID THE CHECK. AND TOMORROW YOU
HAVE TWO MEETINGS, BUT KELLY
WILL EMAIL YOU. LOVE YOU MADLY.
BE SAFE, OK? AND REMEMBER--MWAH,
MWAH--PRODUCERS WITH LOUD CARS
HAVE SMALL...
>> HA HA HA!
>> TOODLE-OO!
MORNING.
>> HI, MARKI.
>> GOOD DAY.
>> GOOD DAY.
>> HEY, KELLY, I'M SENDING YOU A
CASTING TO POST ON "BECOME A
HOST."
>> IS IT THE INTERIOR DESIGNERS?
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH. I JUST POSTED IT.
>> OH, WOW. YOU'RE GOOD. YOU'RE
GOOD.
>> HEY.
>> OH, HI AGAIN.
>> HOW ARE YOU?
>> GOOD.
>> I'M SLOANE'S MOM SHELBY.
>> OK. UM...
>> AND I'M HERE TO SEE MARKI.
>> OK. DO YOU--
>> NO, I DON'T HAVE AN
APPOINTMENT, BUT I NEED TO SPEAK
WITH HER.
>> OH. WELL, SHE DOESN'T USUALLY
TAKE--
>> WELL, SHE'LL TAKE ME. SHE
NEEDS TO TAKE ME TODAY.
>> UH, OK.
>> MY MOM AND I ARE SO CLOSE.
SHE'S LIKE MY BEST FRIEND.
>> BUT I'M STILL A MOM.
>> YEAH. SHE'S STILL A MOM.
>> MOVE YOUR CAR SO IT DOESN'T
GET TOWED AGAIN. UM, DON'T DRINK
AND DRIVE. DON'T DO DRUGS. DON'T
SLEEP WITH ANYBODY. DON'T CATCH
ANY DISEASES. DON'T SIT ON BAD
TOILETS. WASH YOUR HANDS.
>> ET CETERA, ET CETERA. IT'S A
LOT.
>> YOU CAN HAVE A SEAT RIGHT
THERE.
>> OH, OK. HI.
>> HOW ARE YOU?
>> GOOD.
>> WHY ARE YOU HERE TODAY?
>> SLOANE HAS BEEN CALLING ME
JUST COMPLETELY UPSET. SHE DOES
NOT DESERVE, AT THIS POINT, TO
BE DROPPED.
>> MY WONDERFUL EMPLOYEES TAKE
SLOANE TO GIVE HER THIS
REBRANDING, AND SLOANE GOES INTO
A MELTDOWN.
>> WELL, MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE
THEY WERE CUTTING HER HAIR OFF.
SHE WAS COMPLETELY DISTRAUGHT.
>> SHE'S ATTACHED TO 20-DOLLAR
HAIR EXTENSIONS!
>> I BOUGHT THOSE HAIR
EXTENSIONS, AND THEY WERE NOT
$20. THEY WERE A LOT MORE
EXPENSIVE THAN THAT.
>> OK. ALL RIGHT.
>> SHE WOULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN
WHERE SHE IS WITH A SHORT LITTLE
BUTCHY HAIRDO.
>> OK, HOLD ON.
>> I THINK THAT SHE'S GOT A VERY
GOOD LOOK. I USED TO THINK THAT
I GOT STARED AT, BUT IT WASN'T
ME. IT WAS SLOANE.
>> NO, IT WAS YOU, TOO.
>> IT WAS NOT ME. THE WOMEN ARE
THE ONES THAT LIKE ME.
>> ALL SHE CARES ABOUT IS HER
HAIR, AND I DON'T WANT TO
MANAGE SOMEONE THAT ISN'T GONNA
CUT THEIR HAIR FOR A ROLE OF A
LIFETIME.
>> YOU WEREN'T OFFERING HER A
$20 MILLION MOVIE.
>> OF COURSE I WASN'T OFFERING
HER A $20 MILLION MOVIE! I
COULDN'T GET HER PAST HER
FREAKING HAIR! I COULD NEVER
SUBMIT HER TO A DIRECTOR OR A
CASTING DIRECTOR, BECAUSE I
WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL SHE
WOULD DO IN THERE.
>> WELL, HOW DOES SHE DATE ALL
THE STARS THAT SHE DATES?
IF YOU KNEW WHO ALL SHE HAD IN
HER LITTLE PHONE, IT'S FREAKY. I
EVEN PRANK-CALLED A COUPLE OF
THEM WHEN SHE WASN'T LOOKING,
BECAUSE I WANTED TO HEAR WHAT
THEIR VOICES SOUNDED LIKE. SHE
HAS GOT, WHAT, 5 OR 6 OF THEM AT
ALL TIMES TEXTING HER, BEGGING
HER TO GO OUT WITH THEM, AND IT
DOESN'T MATTER HOW BIG OF A
CELEBRITY THEY ARE, THEY LIKE
SLOANE. SLOANE IS A MAN-EATER.
>> MOTHER TO MOTHER, I WAS
TRYING TO HELP YOUR DAUGHTER.
THOSE GIRLS, THE SLOANE GIRLS,
I WAS TRYING TO MAKE HER NOT ONE
OF THOSE LITTLE CLUB GIRLS.
>> ALL THOSE SLOANE GIRLS FOLLOW
SLOANE. SHE'S GOT 67,000
FOLLOWERS ON TWITTER. HOW DID
SHE GET THAT?
>> THAT'S ALL YOU GIVE A [BEEP].
YOU'RE JUST LIKE HER!
>> IS SHE ON ANOTHER LEVEL? IS
SHE ON ANOTHER PLANET?
>> I WILL OUTTALK YOU VERY
QUICKLY.
>> GO FOR IT, BABY GIRL.
>> THERE ARE MOVIE STARS THAT
DON'T HAVE AS MANY FOLLOWERS AS
SHE DOES.
>> [BEEP] FOLLOWERS! YOU'RE SO
HUNG UP ON THE WRONG THING! I
DON'T CARE ABOUT TWITTER
FOLLOWERS! I CARE ABOUT MONEY IN
THE BANK! I CARE A ROOF OVER MY
KID'S HEAD! I CARE ABOUT 401Ks
FOR MY EMPLOYEES. I CARE ABOUT
THINGS THAT COUNT! I DON'T GIVE
A [BEEP] ABOUT FAKE [BEEP] OR
[BEEP] FAKE HAIR OR FAKE NAILS
OR FAKE [BEEP] EYELASHES! IT'S
SUPER [BEEP] FICIAL! AND YOU, MY
FRIEND, ARE NOT HELPING HER.
YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE HURTING
HER. YOU NEED TO GIVE HER SOME
TOUGH MOTHER LOVE. TRUST ME ON
THAT, SUGAR.
>> SHE PULLED A LOT OF HER
MAKEUP OFF.
>> OK, SHELBY, WE'RE NEVER GONNA
SEE EYE TO EYE. WE'RE NEVER
GONNA SEE EYE TO EYE.
TIME IS MONEY, AND SHELBY
STOPPING BY UNANNOUNCED--IT
PISSES ME OFF. IT'S A WASTE OF
MY TIME.
THE SHOT SLOANE HAD WITH ME IS
BLOWN BECAUSE ULTIMATELY SHE
DIDN'T TRUST ME TO GUIDE AND
MANAGE HER. I'M GONNA WALK YOU
OUT BECAUSE THIS IS JUST GONNA
GO ROUND AND ROUND, SO COME ON.
LET'S JUST END THIS
CONVERSATION.
>> I JUST DON'T THINK THAT MARKI
HAS A TRUE GRIP ON KNOWING
SLOANE VERY WELL. YOU KNOW, IF
SHE TOOK HER ASIDE, WAS KIND AND
SWEET TO HER--
>> MAYBE IF WE WENT OUT TO
DINNER OR SOMETHING.
>> YEAH. SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO
CODDLE HER OR ANYTHING.
>> I WISH I COULD GET BACK ON
HER GOOD SIDE IN SOME WAY.
>> ARE THEY GONE, ANGELICA?
>> GONE, GONE, GONE, GONE.
>> OH, MY LORD. WHOO! HER MOM
WAS, LIKE, "OH, THE GUYS SHE'S
DATED OR THE GUYS SHE'S SLEPT
WITH..." IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW,
HER MOM CARES ABOUT EXACTLY WHAT
SLOANE DOES--HAIR
EXTENSIONS--BECAUSE HER MOM HAD
HAIR EXTENSIONS--AND DUDES.
>> YEAH. ALL THE FLUFF.
>> THIS DREAM IS OVER. ON THAT
NOTE, HELP YOURSELF TO A NEW
OUTFIT, ANGELICA.
>> HEY.
>> DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE
PSYCHIC FOR A MINUTE?
>> YEAH. WHAT ABOUT HER?
>> HER LOOK. WEDNESDAY ADDAMS'
MOTHER OR GRANDMOTHER?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS WHOLE
VOXX THING. I MEAN, MARKI WAS
GIVING SLOANE SUCH A HARD TIME
ABOUT HER HAIR EXTENSIONS, BUT
IN WALKS VOXX. UM...
HELLO? DO I HAVE TO BE CAPTAIN
OBVIOUS HERE?
>> I DON'T KNOW. WHAT DO YOU
WANT TO DO TO HER?
>> MAKE HER OVER, LIKE--
>> LIKE TAKE HER TO THE TANNING
BOOTH?
>> NO. SHE DOESN'T NEED A TAN.
SHE COULD KEEP THE FROSTY,
MYSTICAL LOOK, BUT, I MEAN,
HELLO. SHE HAS A FACE FOR RADIO
RIGHT NOW.
>> YOU DON'T SEE PEOPLE ON THE
RADIO.
>> OH, MY GOD. DO YOU THINK
SHE'LL CURSE ME? IT'S TOTALLY
WORTH IT.
[FINN CRYING]
>> STOP CRYING. STOP CRYING.
I DECIDED TO HAVE ANGELICA GET
SOME NANNIES IN FOR TOMMY AND I
TO MEET WITH, AND I HOPE THAT
SHE CAN COMPLETE THIS TASK. JUST
SAYING "ANGELICA" AND "NANNY" IN
THE SAME SENTENCE JUST MADE MY
HEART SKIP TWO BEATS.
CAREFUL, POP. CAREFUL. WHOA.
>> MM. GET ME ONE. GET ME ONE.
>> OK.
>> HI!
>> HOW ARE YOU?
>> THIS IS APOLLO.
>> APOLLO?
>> I HAD TO WEAR MY HAT BECAUSE
HE'S WEARING HIS.
>> OH. SO I ARRANGE ALL THESE
APPOINTMENTS. I POST AN AD ON
CRAIGSLIST. AND I ALSO POST SOME
FLIERS RANDOMLY IN INGLEWOOD.
MARKI, SOME CRAZY HOMELESS LADY
IS HERE TO SEE YOU WITH A DEAD
DOG.
>> IS THIS PART OF THE PEOPLE
YOU SET UP FOR THE NANNY?
>> CORRECT. YES.
>> WHERE DID YOU GET THIS PERSON
FROM?
>> CRAIGSLIST. I'LL BRING HER
RIGHT IN.
>> YEAH. NOT A GOOD SIGN. ARE
YOU HERE FOR THE RIGHT JOB? THIS
IS FOR A NANNY POSITION.
>> HE WORKS WITH ME AS A NANNY.
>> HE'S A DANNY.
>> OK, BUT LOOKIT. HIS ARM IS
SHAKING.
>> HE'S NERVOUS.
>> HE'S NERVOUS.
>> OK. HAVE YOU BEEN A NANNY
BEFORE? DID YOU BRING A RESUME?
>> YES, I DO HAVE MY RESUME WITH
ME.
>> THE SERVICE DOG, THE HAT, THE
WHOLE HORRIBLE FRENCH--MARY
POPPINS.
>> HEY, LADY, YOU LOOK LIKE THE
JOKER.
>> FINNY! DON'T SAY THAT, YOU
LITTLE KNUCKLE BUTT.
UH!
HE PRETTY MUCH IS THE KING OF
THE CASTLE.
>> THIS IS THE WORST, THE WORST
TEACHING FOR A CHILD.
I WOULD PUSH A BOY FROM A SWING
BECAUSE ANOTHER GIRL WAS WAITING
FOR IT.
>> ANGELICA, BRING THE NEXT ONE
IN! CAN WE HAVE YOUR RESUME?
>> OK. HERE'S MY RESUME AND MY
COVER LETTER, AND I WOULD
APPRECIATE IT IF YOU READ THE
COVER LETTER.
>> IT'S REALLY LONG.
>> WHY DON'T YOU READ IT TO US?
>> OK. TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: I
AM THE MANNY YOU ARE LOOKING
FOR. I KNOW HOW TO DO
EVERYTHING FROM NATURAL BREAST
MILK TO FORMULA.
>> WAIT. NATURAL BREAST MILK?
>> THAT SHOCKED ME, TOO.
>> EH EH EH EH. HE GAVE ME THE
HEEBIE-JEEBIES. IT WAS JUST,
LIKE, "STOP, DUDE." HE WILL NOT
BE WATCHING MY FINN. ANGELICA,
BRING THE NEXT ONE!
>> HI.
>> TAKE A SEAT RIGHT THERE.
>> HEY.
>> SO TELL US A LITTLE BIT ABOUT
YOURSELF. HAVE YOU EVER NANNIED
BEFORE?
>> ABSOLUTELY. I'VE BEEN
NANNYING ON AND OFF
PROFESSIONALLY FOR 10 YEARS NOW.
>> OK.
>> I'M A PROFESSIONAL ARTIST, SO
IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN SOMETHING
THAT I'VE DONE ON THE SIDE BUT
KIND OF SUPPLEMENTS ME AND
ALLOWS ME TO WORK CREATIVELY IN
THE WAYS THAT I WANT TO.
>> TOMMY'S AN ARTIST.
>> AWESOME.
>> HE ALSO IS AN AMAZING
ATHLETE. HE'S A LACROSSE COACH.
>> I PLAYED LACROSSE.
>> YOU PLAY LACROSSE?
>> 5 YEARS.
>> WHOA.
>> SHE WAS COOL BECAUSE SHE'S AN
ARTIST, SHE'S AN ATHLETE. I'M
JUST INTO, UH, YOU KNOW, WHAT
SHE'S ALL ABOUT, YOU KNOW.
>> IT'S VERY SERENDIPITOUS THAT
I'M MEETING YOU GUYS. I HONESTLY
WAS LOOKING AT CREATIVE GIGS
ONLINE, AND THEN I SAW THIS,
HAPPENED TO APPLY, AND THERE
JUST IS ALL THIS CRAZY
CROSSOVER.
>> RIGHT.
>> LAUREN WAS INTERESTING. SHE
HAD PLAYED LACROSSE, SO THAT WAS
A BONUS FOR TOMMY. SHE WAS AN
ARTIST--BONUS FOR TOMMY. AND
MAYBE THEY WOULD BON--I MEAN,
"-US," EACH OTHER.
>> PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.
>> PLEASURE. PLEASURE. YES.
>> VERY COOL.
>> US, TOO.
>> RYAN? ONE SECOND. MARKI,
ANOTHER MANNY IS HERE. HE'S HOT.
>> HE'S HOT?
>> HE'S A CUTIE.
>> HE'S HOT? WOULD YOU DATE HIM?
>> I WOULD DATE HIM.
>> YOU WOULD?
>> OH, MY GOD. HE COULD BE MY
MANNY ANY DAY.
>> HI. HOW ARE YOU?
>> HI. HOW YOU DOING? TOMMY,
NICE TO MEET YOU.
>> TAKE A SEAT IN THE WHITE
CHAIR. LET ME HAVE YOUR RESUME.
ARE YOU MARRIED?
>> I AM MARRIED.
>> YOU'RE MARRIED. ANGELICA.
>> YES?
>> I'M A MARRIED MAN.
>> HE'S MARRIED.
>> OH.
>> NOTICE WEDDING RING.
>> SORRY. SORRY ABOUT THAT.
>> OK.
>> MARRIED? OH! CAN'T A GIRL GET
A BREAK?
>> HOW MANY BROTHERS AND SISTERS
DO YOU HAVE?
>> TWO OLDER BROTHERS.
>> I LIKE THAT.
>> I HAVE A DAUGHTER.
>> YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER? HOW OLD
IS YOUR DAUGHTER?
>> MY DAUGHTER WILL BE 2 IN
NOVEMBER.
>> I WAS LIKE, "WHO ARE YOU?
WHERE DID YOU COME FROM, AND CAN
WE MAKE OUT?"
>> HERE'S MY THEORY ON WHY YOU
SHOULD HIRE A MANNY VERSUS A
NANNY.
>> OK.
>> WHEN YOU HIRE A NANNY, A
FEMALE TO KIND OF COME IN AND
TAKE CARE OF YOUR KIDS, THEY'RE
CONSTANTLY BATTLING WITH THE
MOTHER INSTINCT--
>> TOTALLY.
>> WITH THE FEMALE ROLE.
>> TOTALLY. YOU KNOW, I WAS A
LITTLE APPREHENSIVE ABOUT THE
WHOLE MANNY ASPECT, BUT THAT GUY
RYAN--YOUNG, MARRIED, HAS A
2-YEAR-OLD--HE WAS SENT FROM GOD
ABOVE.
>> I KNOW YOU LIKE HIM BECAUSE
HE IS HOT.
>> HA HA HA! YEAH, HE'S HOT.
>> I DON'T THINK HE'S THAT HOT.
>> TOMMY WAS A BIT THREATENED BY
HIM, BUT TOMMY WOULDN'T ADMIT
THAT.
SO IT'S DOWN TO LAUREN AND RYAN.
>> I LIKE RYAN.
>> LAUREN.
>> YOU JUST SAID LAUREN,
AND I SAID RYAN.
>> RIGHT. HONESTLY, I THINK HE'S
TOO YOUNG.
>> HE'S MARRIED, AND HE HAS THAT
PARENT INSTINCT, WHICH I LOVE.
>> RIGHT. THAT'S WHAT I--IF HE
DIDN'T HAVE A KID, I WOULD SAY
NO WAY.
>> TOMMY AND LAUREN. OOH LA LA.
I'M NOT GONNA EVER HAVE HER
WATCH FINN.
SO LET'S GO WITH RYAN.
>> DONE.
>> DONE. YEAH.
>> OK.
>> YOU LIKE HIM. I LIKE HIM.
>> RIGHT.
>> NOT A BIG.
>> YEAH.
[FINN SHOUTS]
>> GOOD JOB. I'LL SEE YOU AND
FINNY LATER. YOU GUYS KEPT SUCH
CARE OF FINNY, MAYBE YOU GUYS
CAN BE THE NANNIES.
>> COME ON, BUDDY.
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS
WEEKEND?
>> UM, ANGELICA, YOU'RE NOT
GONNA HANG OUT WITH SLOANE
AGAIN, ARE YOU?
>> ANGELICA, HONEST, HONEY. COME
ON.
>> I DO GREAT IMPRESSIONS. I DO
ONE OF YOU, AND I DO--HERE'S
SLOANE AND ANGELICA OUT. "OH,
YEAH, SLOANE. YEAH."
"ANGELICA, DO YOU WANT TO HAVE A
*** SODA? I WAS AT ADAM
LEVINE'S HOUSE LAST NIGHT [BEEP]
HIS [BEEP], AND HE DIDN'T CALL
ME BACK." AND ANGELICA: "OH, NO!
ADAM LEVINE DIDN'T CALL YOU
BACK? OH, NO!"
>> THAT ACTUALLY WAS OUR
CONVERSATION. YES.
>> I KNOW. EXACTLY. I HOPE SHE
DOESN'T START STALKING ME.
>> OH, HOPEFULLY NOT.
>> END OF A DAY, FOLKS. END OF A
DAY.
>> DID SHE SAY NO GUM?
>> YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M SORRY. I
WANT TO CHEW MY GUM. I'M GONNA
KEEP IT. SO I WALK INTO THE BOOT
CAMP. THE CLASS IS FULL. I'M
NERVOUS. I WAS SWEATING. MY
THONG WAS ITCHING. IT WAS
JUST--I WAS NERVOUS.
>> HI, GUYS!
>> HI!
[APPLAUSE]
>> THIS PART GOES FAST AND
FURIOUS, SO I NEED YOU TO PAY
ATTENTION. OH, HELLO, ANGELICA.
I HAVE BEEN COACHING TALENT FOR
ALMOST 20 YEARS. I AM $500 AN
HOUR. I HAVE 100 STUDENTS THAT
GO THROUGH MY SCHOOL A MONTH,
AND I'M HOPING SHE'LL REALIZE
THE VALUE OF WHAT SHE'S ABOUT TO
LEARN, BUT THEN AGAIN, IT'S
ANGELICA, SO YOU NEVER KNOW.
ANYBODY CAN LEARN TO BE A GREAT
HOST. LIKE I SAID, I'VE SEEN
PEOPLE IN THE BOOT CAMP THAT I
THOUGHT HAD A BETTER CHANCE OF
BEING STRUCK BY LIGHTNING,
ANGELICA--JUST KIDDING--AND NOW
THEY'RE MAKING MILLIONS OF
DOLLARS HOSTING--NOT YOU,
ANGELICA. ANGELICA WORKS FOR ME.
YES.
>> POOR GIRL.
>> YES. SHE WORKS FOR ME. POOR
GIRL IS RIGHT. SIT DOWN.
ANGELICA, HOP UP THERE.
>> I'M THINKING, "OH, HOW IS
THIS GONNA GO?" AND THEN MARKI'S
GIVING ME THE EYE FROM FAR AWAY,
LIKE, "MM-HMM." AM I GONNA BE
ABLE TO PRONOUNCE THE WORDS?
BECAUSE WHEN I GET NERVOUS, MY
PRONOUNCEATION GETS WORST. ARE
THEY GONNA LAUGH AT ME, NOT WITH
ME? A LOT OF THINGS CAN GO
WRONG.
>> GONZALEZ AND DUCHARDS? 3, 2,
1.
>> TODAY ON "TOPICS," WE'RE
GONNA TALK ABOUT RESTAURANTS TO
EAT AT. J.R., WHAT'S YOUR
FAVORITE FOOD?
>> MY FAVORITE FOOD IS
PIZZA--ITALIAN.
>> OH, MY GOD. ARE YOU--WHAT'S
YOUR ETHNICITY, J.R.?
>> [LAUGHTER]
YOU NEVER KNOW.
>> I AM CAUCASIAN.
>> [LAUGHTER]
>> I PAIRED ANGELICA UP WITH
THIS GUY NAMED J.R., AND IT'S
SORT OF FUNNY TO SEE HER TRYING
TO IMPRESS ME AND TRYING TO, YOU
KNOW, COME OFF LIKE SHE KNOWS
WHAT SHE'S DOING.
>> THE BEST RESTAURANT HERE IN
LOS ANGELES IS SLAP YO MAMA SOUL
FOOD IN CRENSHAW.
>> OH. CRENSHAW. YES.
>> NOW, NOW, NOW. NOW, NOW, NOW.
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? SAY WHAT
YOU'RE THINKING RIGHT NOW. SAY
IT.
>> IT SOUNDS A LITTLE BIT
GHETTO.
>> [LAUGHTER]
>> OK, BUT DON'T NOT SAY WHAT
YOU'RE THINKING, BECAUSE WE SEE
YOUR FACE GOING...
>> [LAUGHTER]
>> AND WE WANT TO BUY THE REAL
YOU. WE DON'T WANT THE HOSTY
*** HANDS.
>> [LAUGHTER]
>> DESIGNERS. DON'T DO THE TIM
GUNN *** HANDS AND DON'T DO
THE FAKE VOICE, BECAUSE THEN
YOU'RE NOT BEING YOUR TRUE
AUTHENTIC SELF.
>> TRUE. GOOD POINT.
>> RIGHT?
>> YES.
>> GOOD. SIT DOWN. GOOD.
BETWEEN YOU AND I, AND I WOULD
NEVER TELL ANGELICA THIS, SHE
DID BETTER THAN I THOUGHT.
>> MICHELLE, HAVE YOU EVER, YOU
KNOW, DIPPED INTO THE LADY POND?
>> I THINK THAT EVERYBODY HAS
DIPPED IN THE LADY POND AT LEAST
ONCE.
>> GOOD POINT, INCLUDING ME.
>> [LAUGHTER]
>> SO LITERALLY EVERYONE.
>> EVEN YOU?
>> I MEAN...
>> OH, MY GOSH. STEPHANIE.
>> DO YOU KNOW HOW WILD THIS
GIRL PROBABLY WAS IN COLLEGE?
>> SHE'S PROBABLY REALLY FRISKY
IN BED, TOO, RIGHT?
>> AS FAR AS "DIPPING IN THE
LADY POND," LET'S JUST SAY I
PLAYED IN THE MINORS. I NEVER
WENT PRO.
[KNOCK KNOCK]
>> YES, LOVE.
>> MAY I COME IN?
>> YES, YOU MAY.
>> I WAS GOING THROUGH SOME OF
THE REELS.
>> YEAH.
>> I SAW VOXX'S REEL.
>> YOU MEAN VOXX AND KATIE'S,
THE ONE WE JUST SHOT?
>> YES.
>> YES?
MY CLIENT KATIE WAGNER PITCHED A
SHOW TO ME CALLED "INNER VIEW"
WITH A COHOST, A PSYCHIC, VOXX.
>> I WAS THINKING ABOUT
JACOBIFYING HER LOOK A TOUCH.
>> SHE'S NOT OUR CLIENT. WE'RE
TAKING ON THE PROJECT, NOT VOXX,
OK? KATIE IS OUR CLIENT.
VISUALLY, VOXX WAS NOT MY STYLE,
BUT IT'S REALLY NOT IN OUR BEST
INTEREST QUITE YET TO GIVE HER A
MAKEOVER BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW
HOW WE'RE PROCEEDING YET.
ENOUGH SAID.
>> CRYSTAL CLEAR.
>> OK?
>> YES.
>> THANK YOU, MY DEAR.
>> HELLO.
>> HI!
>> WE'RE HERE TO SEE MARKI.
WE'RE EXCITED. WE'RE GONNA GET
TO SEE OUR REEL, I THINK.
>> YES. WE'RE READY FOR YOU
GUYS. HAVE A SEAT RIGHT OVER
HERE.
>> HELLO.
>> HI.
>> HI, LADIES.
>> HI, GORGEOUS.
DON'T GET UP. SIT DOWN,
SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN.
I HAD KATIE AND VOXX COME INTO
THE STUDIO TO SHOOT TEST TAPE
THAT WE'VE EDITED AND PUT
TOGETHER. I NEED TO TAKE A HARD
LOOK AT THE FOOTAGE TO DECIDE
IF THIS IS A PROJECT WORTHY TO
GO FORWARD.
ARE YOU EXCITED TO SEE THE
SIZZLE?
>> SO EXCITED!
>> JACOBI!
>> YES?
>> I NEED YOUR GENIUS EXPERTISE
TO PLAY THE SIZZLE.
>> OH, OF COURSE.
THERE YOU GO.
>> COOL.
>> EVERYBODY WATCH.
>> WELCOME TO "THE INNER VIEW
WITH KATIE AND VOXX." I'M KATIE
WAGNER. THIS IS THE WORLD'S MOST
ACCURATE PSYCHIC, VOXX. LET'S
MOVE ON TO SOME HOLLYWOOD STARS
RIGHT AWAY.
>> YEAH.
>> SOMEONE LIKE MILEY CYRUS--DO
YOU THINK--WHO'S HAD A LONG
CAREER ALREADY--DO YOU THINK
SHE'S GOING TO ENDURE? DO THE
CARDS SHOW THAT SHE'S GOT IT, OR
HAS SHE MESSED IT UP?
>> WELL, SHE'LL PULL A LINDSAY
LOHAN ON US, PROBABLY WITHIN THE
NEXT YEAR AND A HALF.
>> AS I WATCHED THE TEST TAPE
WITH VOXX AND KATIE, I REALIZED
THAT IT'S NOT A FULL-BLOWN TV
SHOW. IT MAYBE COULD BE A
SEGMENT ON MAYBE SOME EXISTING
TV SHOWS OR EVEN THE INTERNET.
I'M NOT DELUSIONAL. BUT IF
TALENT BUILDS A BRAND ONLINE,
IT'S LIKE THAT SAYING: IF YOU
BUILD IT, THEY WILL COME. I
THINK, TO BE HONEST, YOU KNOW,
THIS CAN START OUT AS A SEGMENT
ON A BIGGER BRAND, A BIGGER
LEVEL. YOU KNOW, KATIE HAS
HOLLYWOOD CRED, AND VOXX HAS A
CULT FOLLOWING, SO I DO THINK
THERE IS A SEED OF SOMETHING
THERE. IT'S NOT GONNA WIN AN
EMMY, BUT I'M NOT WILLING TO
KILL THE IDEA JUST YET. I THINK
YOU WANT TO WHET SOMEONE'S
WHISTLE.
>> ANGELICA!
>> WHEE!
>> HOW ARE YOU?
>> OH, MY. POPPY'S HERE.
>> IS SHE FREE?
>> WELL, SHE'S ACTUALLY HERE
WITH A PSYCHIC.
>> OH, MY GOD. I LOVE PSYCHICS!
>> LET ME TELL HER.
>> POPPY! WE WERE JUST TALKING
ABOUT YOU. COME IN HERE.
THIS IS MY
BRIDGET JONES OF JOURNALISM!
THAT'S KATIE AND VOXX. WAIT. SIT
DOWN. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
>> OK, I'M SO EXCITED. I WENT TO
THIS PARTY, AND I MET THIS
AMAZING PUBLICIST THAT'S
ORGANIZING LADY GAGA'S ALBUM
LAUNCH, AND HE SAID, "POPPY, I
WANT YOU TO INTERVIEW LADY GAGA
AT HER ALBUM LAUNCH IN
NOVEMBER."
>> I LOVE IT!
I'M REALLY EXCITED BECAUSE I'LL
BE ABLE TO LITERALLY USE THAT
INTERVIEW THAT POPPY DOES WITH
LADY GAGA AND SELL HER ON 20
MILLION OTHER PLATFORMS. THAT
JUST SOLIDIFIES THE GRAVITY AND
DEPTH OF POPPY'S TALENT AND
POPPY'S FUTURE. VOXX, DO YOU
HAVE YOUR CARDS WITH YOU?
>> YES, I DO.
>> YOU'VE GOT TO READ POPPY.
>> I ALWAYS HAVE MY CARDS WITH
ME.
>> YOU'VE GOT TO READ POPPY.
>> SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?
>> AM I GOING TO BE SUCCESSFUL--
>> IN YOUR CAREER?
>> IN MY CAREER HERE IN THE
UNITED STATES?
>> I ONLY NEED ONE CARD.
ABSOLUTELY.
>> YAY!
>> I'M NOT FOOLING AROUND. THE
WORST THING I COULD TELL YOU IS
YOU'RE GOING TO GET WHAT YOU
WANT.
>> I HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT MY
CAREER. I WANT TO HEAR THE
TRUTH. UH, EXCUSE ME.
>> IS THERE AN IMPORTANT PHONE
CALL? IS MY CAR BEING TOWED? IS
THERE A FLOOD? IS THERE A
NATIONAL DISASTER? IS WASHINGTON
CLOSING DOWN? IS BRAD AND
ANGELINA BREAKING UP? WHAT COULD
BE SO PERTINENT, ANGELICA?
>> I JUST HAVE A QUICK QUESTION
FOR THE PSYCHIC, ACTUALLY,
MARKI.
DO YOU THINK I'M GONNA BECOME--I
JUST WANT TO KNOW IF I'M WASTING
MY TIME OR NOT. DO YOU THINK I'M
GONNA END UP BECOMING A
SUCCESSFUL PAID HOST?
>> LET'S FIND OUT.
>> OUCH.
>> YES.
>> [GASP]
>> THE ACE OF [INDISTINCT]
SAYS YES, YOU CAN DO IT.
YOU NEED TO WORK A
LITTLE BIT MORE ON YOUR VERBAL
SKILLS.
>> AND HER SELF-CONFIDENCE.
>> YES. AND MY FEELING IS THAT
IT MAY TEND TO BE MORE OF, LIKE,
A BILINGUAL SHOW.
>> OOH, YES.
>> WHAT'S YOUR...
>> ESPANOL, SO HABLA ESPANOL.
>> SHE'S ESPANOL. YEAH, SHE'S
KOOKY. I'M JUST--WE'RE ON FIRE.
WE'RE ON FUEGO. THAT'S ESPANOL
FOR FIRE. YOU GO BACK TO YOUR
DUTIES. THAT'S DUTY IN ESPANOL,
WHICH MEANS POO POO, WHICH MEANS
YOUR JOB.
>> MARKI, YOU NEED TO WORK ON
YOUR SPANISH. [BEEP] IS ANOTHER
WORD FOR POO POO OR *** OR
CAGADA. MORE IMPORTANTLY, I'M
GONNA BE A HOST.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT? SHE'S LIKE
LUCY. SHE'S KOOKY AND SHE'S
NUTTY. YOU'RE KOOKY.
>> KOOKY?
>> I SAY YOU SHOULD CALL IT,
"KOOKY, I'M HOME."
>> KOOKY, I'M HOME! I LOVE IT.
>> ON THE NEXT "DRAMA QUEEN"...
>> I AM NOT GOING TO BE
COMFORTABLE IN THIS.
>> IF YOU WON'T GO INTO A
BIKINI, HOW DO WE GET THE
MEDIA'S ATTENTION?
>> BIG *** CAN DO IT.
>> WE HAVE AUDRINA COMING. I DO
NOT WANT ANY AUTOGRAPH-ASKING.
>> HI.
>> ARE YOU OK?
>> I WAS JUST CHOKING.
>> WHY DON'T YOU FIND ME A NEW
RECEPTIONIST?
>> ANGELICA WHO?
>> HAVE FUN WITH BUTCH.
>> [GASP]