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Hey everyone, hope all is well!
It's the government's responsibility to inform the public and deal with dangers when they happen.
So what about Candy Crush? How did they let that one slip by?
It's pure evil! Ask conspiracy theorist Alex Jones.
"IT'S PURE EVIL!"
So here are 10 reasons why Candy Crush Saga will destroy your life.
Number 1: It is simple. A simple game means anyone can play it and so your brain will
be put through super mundane tasks which can only make you stupider.
Stupider? Is that a real word?
Number 2: It is addictive. This simple game creates a mentality in the minds of most people
so when they put it down, they will walk away and then say, "Ah just one more go!"
The closer you get to completing a level, the more addicted you become.
Number 3: You don't get to choose when you play. You only get 5 lives in Candy Crush
and once they are used up, you have to wait 30 minutes for each one to replenish.
NOOOOOOOOOO!
This clever ploy means the average player won't get sick of the game quickly.
Number 4: It is challenging, but for all the wrong reasons.
You could be stuck on one level for weeks, but then one time, the board is organised
in a completely convenient way. All of the candy is in the right place
And BAM! Piece of cake.
So what's the technique for completing Candy Crush? Keep playing each level enough time
until you get the ideal start.
Number 5: The music is sinister as f**k.
Not only does the game music sound creepy but the fact each song is about 15 seconds
long and is on a loop... that's sinister.
It's so hypnotic.
Number 6: You compete with other addicts.
On the Candy Crush map it will show you what levels all your other friends are on.
So it becomes a talking point almost every day.
"What level are you on?"
"Ohhhhhh! I'm stuck on that level."
[Horse snort]
"How did you complete that one?"
"You are so far behind."
"IT'S PURE EVIL!"
Number 7: It will turn you into a spammer.
We all hate spammers but would never dream of becoming one ourselves. But when you require
3 tickets to progress onto the next level, you have no choice but to give into the practice.
[Sniff] I've become a monster.
Okay, there is one other option...
Number 8: Candy Crush wants your money.
If you don't want to be a spammer then you can get more tickets and lives with your hard
earned cash. Or if you are just about to complete a difficult level you have been stuck on for
weeks and you are just about to run out of moves... then you can buy some more.
And there is even a special move - a 'charm' as they call it - that you can pay over $30 for.
Please tell me you haven't bought it.
Number 9: You will never complete it.
There are over 300 levels and even if you get to the end of the path, it's under construction
which means as long as we all keep playing it, the creators will keep making more.
They're monsters!
And number 10: Sooner or later you will have to face reality.
Candy Crush becomes a vicious cycle; A horrible addiction. Your friends will tell you to stop
playing it. Your family will tell you how you've changed, how you're not the same person
anymore. It will destroy your relationships with non-Candy Crush players.
But the worst part is when you finally go over to that window, look outside and ask
yourself "What have I actually achieved?" And it's then that you will find yourself
at 'Candy Crush Anonymous'.
"Hi everyone. My name's Myles and I'm addicted to Candy Crush."
*Group* "Hi Myles."
So there you have it: 10 reasons why Candy Crush Saga will destroy your life. I just
felt the need to warn you all. Just please don't make the same mistakes I did. But at
the same time, if anyone does play it and you can send me a ticket, I just need one more.
Anyway thanks for watching this video. Don't forget to click like. And hey! If you ever
receive a Candy Crush notification, reply to it with this video.
We must wake them up from their sugar comas.
And if you are new to my channel click subscribe and you will be kept up to date with all my
latest videos.
I think it's only fair we let Alex Jones have the final word.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Too aggressive? Yeah, I thought so.
Sorry about that. Erm... Shall we let Mr Goat have the final word instead?
[Goat Cry] "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Right erm... Aggressive final words it is then.
ADIOS 'TIL NEXT TIME!