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Are you... Lucille?
Lucille is... such a nice name....
My mother's name was Lucille, and she was very beautiful.
You know, you carry... you carry that well...
How.... how.... how old are you?
- Old enough to know *** when I hear it.
Why don't you come over here, where I can see you?
- Maybe I don't want you to see me.
I don't think that's the case. On the other hand...
...I think you want me to see you. You know, I hardly know you...
...but I hear loneliness in you.
I know that loneliness.
- The loneliness of a heart. Is...
...is this how you feel, Lucille?
- You sure talk pretty.
Then why don't you come here, Lucille?
- And talk, face to face? - Okay...
- Face to face!
Oh, my God! You are so...
...beautiful!
The last thing I am is beautiful.
What is beauty anyway?
The Mona Lisa has nothing on you.
What a beautiful smell.
- What perfume are you wearing? - Not wearing any.
I ain't washing from a couple of weeks...
It's so earthy...
...I love it! You know, Lucille...
I don't think it ever happened to me before, but I fell over-heels in love with you!
- You don't love me. - Yes yes yes yes, I love you!
Take these handcuffs off and I'll prove it to you!
I don't have the keys. I don't even know where they are.
You... you've gotta let me prove it!
If you don't, I swear I'll go crazy!
Do you really think I'm like the Mona Lisa?
Oh. It's so lovely.
I hate this room! I hate this whole house!
It's strange how I feel...
...excited, like a kid... what are you doing?
- I wanna see these love feelings. - But...
...the love I'm talking about is different...
- ...it's deeper! - I only believe actions!
All this love talk is very nice, but the body...
- Never lies! - But... - Now...
- ...Let's see how much you love me! - I love you, isn't that enough?
- Still love me?
Now... show me you love me!
Of course, if you don't love me...
- I'm giving you back to Pa and he'll deal with you.
I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you!
Yeah. I don't think so.
Wait! Wait!
Well, I'll be damned!
Looks like you do love me!
Yes!
It was amazing!
Best sex I ever had, where did you learn to do it that way?
All those salesmen. Except none of the did what you did.
Lucky dude. You do love me, don't you?
As you said, the body never lies. The question is...
- ...do you love me? - Of course I love you.
I won't let my daddy hurt you, if that's what you're afraid of.
- I wanna marry you. - Huh?
Yeah! If you marry me...
...we take the dowry, than go away...
...and we'll be happy together. I hate it here!
- Ma and Pa treat me so mean! - Did you say... dowry?
Yeah! Well, Pa's got it buried in the basement.
Must be... 400 000 or 500 000 dollars.
It's all the money from all that salesmen.
Okay. Let's get married.
- Ma! Pa! I'm getting married!
Are you sure you wanna do this?
Absolutely. I love your daughter.
And I love him, Pa.
Then let's start.
- Shouldn't we have a preacher? - Pa is a preacher!
Will you, Andy Lowe, take my daughter...
...Lucille Solis, as your lawful wedded wife?
Yes, I do.
And do you, Lucille, take this man...
- ...as your lawful wedded husband? - You can bet I do, Pa.
- Take the ring, Ma.
- Take this ring and place it in Lucille's finger to symbolize...
- ...that the love brought you together... - Wait a minute, Pa!
Don't you take these handcuffs off? He's marrying me!
- Do you think he's gonna spend the rest of his life walking around with these things on?
She's right, Pa. If he's willing to marry her...
...it's the least you can do.
Well, I guess so...
No. I ain't gonna.
- I'll marry him to you, but there's as far as it goes. - But... but Pa...
It's just the way it is, Lucille! I have to shoot him.
- He's a salesman, he can't be trusted! - Damn you, Pa!
This is the first chance of happiness I've got...
...and you ain't gonna kill that!
Lucille! What are you doing, Lucille!
Lucille, you killed him!
Let me get it for you, darling.
And now... let's go get that dowry!
- Here's where it is. - Oh, perfect.
By the way, I wanted to give you a little wedding present, my love.
Ugly ***!
- What the hell...?
- Did you find anything down there, young man?
You know, Ma, the young man was right.
This sure is a mighty nice cemetery plot.
But I... I...
You're not so smart. But I think you'll rest in peace...
...just the same. Lucille!
Wanna pay your respects or what?
I sure hope I can clean up this dress!
Oh, don't worry. You can put it in the washing machine...
...that other nice salesman brought us.
But... but you lied to me, all of you...
Lied?
Now, it's not a nice thing to say.
Besides, it was no lie at all, no sir.
It's called...
Salesmen Routine!
(Hoochie Coochie Gal playing)
What time is it?
Almost 6 a.m, honey!!
- I knew you were gonna do it!
- I hate you.
***!
The aliens! The aliens!
Help! Help me, madam! Help!
I know it's ***, but I can't remember my lines.
Well, you walked in the house all day... walked in the house?
A camera in the oven?
Yes! YES!
Do you really think I'm like the Mona Lisa?
No, you're a ***!
Splat. And so, salesman Andy Lowe's life came to an end.
I'm about to give you a *** figure in the head. You know what it is?
- What? - A ***.
Yeah, smile!
- Sorry! - It was going so well!
Let's do it again!
- Action!
Will you, Lucille... ah, what a mess.
Will you, An-- 3, 2, 1...
Will you...
- He's touching my ***!
Damn. You're 19, and you still aren't able to fix your hump.
So...
If I must...
That comes later.
I'm sorry, honey. This is my town.
- No, cut. It wasn't rolling.