Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
Good Morning! Today is Thursday, May 9th, 2013,
and today we have footage that connects us from the Promised Land of clover patches
to the construction back on Galbraith Road,
forensically reconstructed from the phone that crashed into the sidewalk
during the bicycle accident a couple weeks ago!
The crash ruined my bicycle and my good winter coat...
It didn't do my hands and face a whole lot of good either.
So without any further ado, I'm going to speed right through the first seven minutes of footage
in order to get straight to the site of the crash.
Now here's the geographical benchmark on top of Galbraith Road,
so prepare to drop out of warp drive!
And that, my friends, is pretty much where the recording ends.
What can you do? I got myself up, and couldn't stop trailing blood everywhere,
so I walked my bike home to get myself bandaged and cleaned.
And then I couldn't lay around at home another hour,
because I was obsessing over what happened to the one button missing
from my winter jacket!
So, it's a good thing I went out there.
I couldn't stay there an hour before going out, looking for it,
and it's a good thing I did. OCD can be a good thing at times.
Returning to the scene of the accident, it was easy to find the place where
my face had left an imprint on the sidewalk.
Right there was the winter coat button I was so obsessed with,
and not far down the hill was the phone case that I had modified into a camera mount
not far from my bifocals, which would have cost me a pretty penny,
and my bloody TracFone.
As luck would have it, I already had a doctor's appointment schedule for the morning,
I figured I may as well show up then.
She refilled my prescription, and saw the bandages,
and said, "oh, road rash? Well, I'll recommend you take ibuprofen,"
"and I'll have my nurse change your dressings."
When the nurse came in,
she pealed off the bandages and said, "Oh my goodness!"
"I didn't anticipate needing even half these supplies! I'll have to come right back!"
I had to be back there within a week,
because it's kind of handy having *skin* on your left hand,
and pain killers,
When the doctor herself actually took the bandages off and saw
for herself the injuries, she said,
"Oh, remember what I said about ibuprofen? Uh, forget I ever said that!"
"We're going to get you some topical antibiotic cream,
"and some oral antibiotics,
"and some Tylenol with CODINE!!"
"So, I hope that will be okay!" {nervous laughter}
So all in all, I'm still pretty fortunate.
I've got my glasses back, my phone,
my face is largely healed,
and I've even got skin back on my left hand. That's handy.
My right hand, not so well, it's going to leave a permanent scar,
but you've got to do what you have to.
So, this is Joel "TwistyNye," wishing you "Happy Trails,"
I hope to see you next week!