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Hello world, it's Sunday. And, I've been thinking about what to do for my vlog today,
and I think I'd like to talk about the subject of fear, because, throughout my life,
I've overcome being really really shy, like extremely painfully shy,
and, now, I live my life with some shyness, but it's not too bad.
And, it would be really awesome to let go of all the stupid little fears that I have,
and I bet it's the same for a lot of people out there,
and just live life the way we're probably meant to live it,
and not let things stop us, just stupid little things stop us.
Not to get rid of all fear, of course, some fear's healthy; we shouldn't be trying
to live our lives like the people in the Bourne movies,
and climb all over things and jump from rooftop to rooftop unless uh that's your job.
But I'm talking about little stupid fears, like, 'I don't want to bother my neighbors,'
when they don't have too much of a problem bothering me when they argue really loud for example.
Or, 'But, I don't want to drum my drums, because that might bother them.'
But then of course I realize, 'Yknow, I can drum my drum, and I can do it really softly so that
it doesn't bother anybody, or, I can choose a different time of day to do it.'
This is just silly little things, I have all these stupid little excuses not to do stuff.
It's like, well why do I do that to myself? For example, and I'm going to overcome this today:
I bought a bike, back in April or May or something like that. And I've wanted a bike for a while.
I had a bike back when I was in college, and I rode it all over the place, and
I was pretty fit, I'd like to be fit like that again. And so, and riding a bike would be fun.
I just need to get out there and do it.Well since then it has sat in my basement and I've haven't
actually taken it out and I have all sort of excuses,
like when I first bought it there were fires in Colorado, and we've had lots of fires this year
and it was some of the first fires we had this year, and the air had some smoke in it and I thought
'Oooh I shouldn't breathe in the smoke, that wouldn't be healthy!'
and I now I have a built-in excuse not to ride my bike!
When I thought about it, when the smoke went away and I still didn't ride it,
I realized I had other silly little fears about my neighbors seeing me walk my bike or
get on my bike, and they'll think,'Oh she doesn't know what she's doin!'
and there's other people out there riding their bikes who know what they're doing, and they'll say,
'Oh she doesn't have her helmet on right! She doesn't know what she's doing!'
And it's just stupid things like - as if I believe that everybody out there, no matter how old they are
are in a high school mentality and they're going to judge me for the stupidest, silliest little things
and why do I care, right?
And so I imagine myself taking the bike out, and maybe screw the helmet, why do I have this issue with the helmet,
if I didn't have a helmet on when I rode my bike around college, right?
and then it would be too hot, and I would have another excuse.
Well I'm doing to ride my bike today! And screw all the little fears! Right?
Of course, ok, one fear: flashing everybody with a skirt on, so I will not wear a skirt when I ride my bike, ok!
But, everything else- um, I will wear a helmet, because I haven't ridden a bike in a while, and
I'm becoming more clutzy as I get older, like I hurt myself over the smallest little things,
Um, I severely, severely sprained my foot, because I was walking in clogs the wrong way, for example!
It's better now, but it was SO painful. You would think a sprain wouldn't be a big deal, but I did
something pretty severe to my foot, just from that little thing.
So, with that in my mind I'm going to wear a helmet, even though, I grew up in the 70s, and
and the kids who wore helmets while they rode bikes were protecting their brain because of
brain damage already happened or something, so I have that image in my head, still, too.
It's just stupid little things, that, yknow if I didn't sit down and think about them, I wouldn't realize it. But,
I have a resolution now, that I am going to live my life without these stupid fears,
and just go like this "Pfft" to all my stupid little fears, and go uh,
'You're stupid, go away, don't, Why are you even indulging in that?' So.
That's my vlog today!
The rest of today, I have no idea what I'm doing to do besides laundry and dishes. And ride my bike!
So, I may be vlogging again after that and give you a little update, and probably say:
'It wen't fine, nobody looked at me funny.' Yeah so now you know that silly thing about me. Oh no.
See you later!