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Lobbyism for Dummies.
Learn how you can effectively control politicians...
and gather the know-how of professionals!
Chapter 1. Your first steps into the Bundestag (german parliament)
As a lobbyist you don't have to wait in queue for hours.
Of course you have a Bundestags-ID-card.
Thanks to this you can get in and out whenever you want to.
Chapter 2: Your mission.
Politicians are planning a lot of laws which could help the people...
but would harm your employer.
Stricter emission standards for example.
Your job: Stop these kind of laws.
No problem!
Politicians don't have enough time and expertise to pass reasonable laws.
That's why you always have a couple prefabricated Laws with you.
Just take off the foil, stick it in and done.
The law has been revised.
Chapterl 3: Presents.
Small presents will pay off.
All parties enjoy getting great donations.
And receives is also willing to give...
Enjoy getting all those nice tax giveaways.
Chapterl 4: Resistance
Your job as a lobbyist isn't always working that smooth.
What do you do if the people notice who is really governing this country?
No Problem. Just found your very own 'citizens 'initiative'.
With websites, comments, letters or by hiring some celebrities...
you will dominate the public debates.
And soon you will have the majority on your side.
Chapter 5: The emergency plan.
What do you do, if all this doesn't work anymore?
because it's about radioactive waste...
that will radiate for a million years.
(that's the length of 12500 peoples lifes)
But don't panic. Germany is governed by CDU and FDP.
As a Nuclear energy lobbyist you will get an invitation into the chencellors office...
just hand out the secret agreement for extending the life span of nuclear plants.
They (Angela Merkel) will sign anything.
Because if you're always signing without hesitating...
you might be working as a lobbyist for a very rich company one day...
and earn a lot of money.
But now just lean back, relax...
and affect some important political decisions
- against the will of the people of course - now it is your democracy.