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Are you tired, upset, overweight and depressed? Well I'm sorry to hear that.
I'm none of those things however because I've been out celebrating Australia Day like so
many other people around the country. January 26th commemorating the arrival of the first
fleet at Sydney Cove in 1788. I know this because I was there. I also know this because
I confirmed it online. In recent times it appears every day of the year has some kind
of event or cause attached to it to raise awareness of any number
of diseases, tragedies, or unfortunate events.
- Now these are all great campaigns which help raise awareness and money for some very
worthwhile causes. Most of these events get a heap of media coverage and are often backed
by some very famous faces - Like that guy, he's in that show.
- which helps spread the word and draw further attention to the cause.
- He's one of those people like Judy Dench and George Clooney who play the same role
in everything that they do. The fact is however not all events and causes
receive as much publicity as those I listed earlier. So, as part of my new years resolution
is to become more charitable, I've decided I'm going to pick an event or cause that doesn't
get much coverage and set about raising awareness and or money for it.
The first thing I'll need to do of course is research.
The results are in. I've decided rather than limit myself to just
one of these causes, I'm going to try and raise as much money for as many of these events
as possible. So I've compiled my list what better place to start than
World Awareness Day. I'm not really sure what that involves. You
know what there's plenty more on the list, we'll cross that one off and pick another
one. World Toilet Day.
Ewww. World Toilet Day or WTD is a global non-profit
organisation committed to improving toilet sanitization conditions worldwide.
I am not making this up. They set up the World Toilet Training College in 2005 which offers
such courses as: Restroom Specialist Training Course.
Disaster and Emergency Sanitization Course. That sounds messy.
So what could I do to support World Toilet Day?
Nah, I hate public toilets. Maybe I should support something intellectual
so I look smart. Pi Day.
Hi. Hi, my name's Andrew and I'm here on Pi Day
to raise awareness of Pi, the mathematical constant, by offering you 3.1415 pies at a
discounted rate. What's the money for?
Ummm...Buying more pies? - Get off my property.
- Ok then. - No! Leave the pies.
So that didn't work. Maybe I should do something environmental. That seems to be all the go
recently. World Ocean Day.
But how could I clean up the ocean? It is pretty big and I don't really want to spend
any more than two hours on this so. Got it!
Turn it on! Ok, it soon became apparent that was never
going to work. It kept getting clogged up with fish. And it turns out that part of World
Ocean Day is about protecting fish not sucking them up a plastic hose. Whoda thunk.
Maybe a disease! Diseases are popular, they get a heap of coverage.
World Rabies Day. Hello! World Rabies Day is recognised by the
United Nations and supported by the World Health Organization as rabies is still a significant
issue, in many countries of the world. Just as rover!
(Dog growls) Would you be interested in purchasing a muzzle,
or a collar, or some confectionary that makes you foam at the mouth?
I'm starting to think that maybe it's me. Maybe I could get the word out if I act as
a mascot for a cause. World Egg Day.
(mumbled talking)
- Mate, I can't understand a *** word you're saying.
- Ok, mascot is a bad idea. It gets so hot
in there. WORLD CAPS LOCK DAY!
I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT. THAT'D JUST BE ANNOYING!
Is that even an official event? I don't think that's recognized by the United
Nations. Oh! Hug An Asian Day.
I'm sure that's not an official event either, but that one's easy. I love asian people!
(Music from piano)
Ok no. I could support the creative arts by
raising awareness of dance. World Dance Day.
But now I think of it, who isn't aware of
what dance is.
But all jokes aside there's a whole bunch of relevant established causes out there for
people to support. If you are going to support a cause, maybe pick something that you're
passionate about or something that's relevant to you.
Just don't do what I did. World Day Of Naturism.
Hi. I'm here to raise awareness of World Naturist Day.
Do you mind if I come in and chat to you about living a free and easy life?
Sure. Follow The Andrew Ward Fiasco on facebook
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