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Well, you know how it goes. Things have been...busy.
Yeah, so I hear. With that "***" from the office?
Heather's a great girl. You'd like her.
Would I?]]>
Yeah. I'll be seeing her tonight.
I see. This will be, what: your...third date?
Number Five, actually.
Great, Mike. That's...just...great. You two must have a lot in common.
And movies.
No WAY-y-y! (She falls.)
Let me help you.
There's no need to be catty, Mels. Heather's a find. A true find.
♫ She'll gab through her dinner, with narry a nibble: ♫
Rather like you.
♫ She'll say what she thinks, then protest if you quibble: ♫
Rather like you....
♫ And she's of the persuasion that ev'ry occasion deserves a snicker--or two; ♫
♫ It's ironic, it's odd, that except for her bod, the girl is a ringer for you. ♫
♫ I'm a-flame! ♫
♫ You're a fool! ♫
♫ I'm a man... ♫
♫ who thinks with his tool! ♫
♫ Soon my charm will seduce her... ♫
♫ Don't bet that the gander will go for the goose-- Sir. ♫
♫ When...you...make her see red, do her eyes glow like embers? ♫
Indeed: Rather...like you!
♫ Then she'll whimper and pout for a thousand Decembers? ♫
Yes--exactly like you!]]>
♫ But two bars of Godiva go far to revive huh ♫
♫ Just think-- what a diamond could do... ♫
♫ And the more I consider what makes the girl glitter-- ♫
I'm stumped: ♫ She's rather like you. ♫
♪[Yet] I know, we'll go far.... ♪
♪ Does the *** have a clue who you are? ♪
♪ Still she raises her defenses... ♪
♪ Well maybe I'm-- Maybe she's hoping you'll come to your senses... ♪]]>
♫ She's coy and demure till she [turns] on the sass. ♫
She's a riddle... like me!
♫ And at times, I aver, she's a pain in the ***! ♫
Maybe a little like me....]]>
♫ And she vaguely reminds me... of a girl who unwinds me... ♫
♫ [while tilting] my world-- askew... ♫
♫ But however you skin it, ♫
♫ I'd rather be in it... ♫
♫ than out, without someone like... ♫
♫ you.... ♫
(applause)]]>
I'm happy for you, Michael.
That's great. So you can understand what attracted me?
It's painfully obvious. Um...so...which train does she take?
Wait, don't tell me. I'll bet "Heather" is a Vuh-ginian. Maybe the Buh-lue line?
Actually, she's...
OK, no, wait: She's one of those snooty Bethesda muckity-mucks. I'll bet she rides...the R-r-red Line!
To be honest, she--
Ok, hold on: She likes flicks? Well, a new cineplex just opened along the Yellow Line. Am I--]]>
She drives, Mels.
Come again?
Heather doesn't ride the train at all. Any train. She drives.
♫ (melodramatic piano chords) ♫ Michael!]]>
Michael, how...how could you?]]>
Hey, so she's not "pure" like you. Heather has many fine qualities.