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TODAY, OF COURSE, IS THE IMPORTANT INDIANA PRIMARY.
AND BECAUSE WE TAPE EARLY, I DON'T KNOW WHO WON YET, BUT I DO
KNOW IT WAS DO OR DIE FOR SENATOR TED CRUZ.
AND JUDGING BY THIS PICTURE, I'M GOING TO SAY HE DIED ABOUT A
WEEK AGO.
THIS IS "ROAD TO THE WHITE HOUSE."
AT THI AT THI I WANT IT, MOMMY.
I DON'T CARE, MOMMY.
OF COURSE, TED CRUZ HAS BEEN FOCUSING ON THE INDIANA PRIMARY
FOR WEEKS NOW.
HE HAS REALLY PUT ALL HIS EGGS IN THIS BASKET.
AND I WANT TO BE PERFECTLY CLEAR: "HIS EGGS" IS A COMMON
EXPRESSION.
I'M NOT SAYING HE'S A REPTILE WHO REPRODUCES THROUGH
HATCHLINGS.
BUT HE TRAILS DONALD TRUMP IN THE POLLS, AND TRUMP ISN'T
LETTING OFF THE GAS.
JUST LISTEN TO HOW HE WENT AFTER TED CRUZ'S FATHER IN A PHONE
INTERVIEW THIS MORNING.
>> YOU KNOW, HIS FATHER WAS WITH LEE HARVEY OSWALD PRIOR TO
OSWALD'S BEING-- YOU KNOW, SHOT.
I MEAN, THE WHOLE THING IS RIDICULOUS.
WHAT IS THIS, RIGHT PRIOR TO HIS BEING SHOT, AND NOBODY
EVEN BRINGS IT UP.
I MEAN, THEY DON'T EVEN TALK ABOUT THAT.
THAT WAS REPORTED, AND NOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT.
WHAT WAS HE DOING WITH LEE HARRY OSWALD SHORTLY BEFORE THE
DEATH, BEFORE THE SHOOTING?
IT'S HORRIBLE.
>> CRAZY.
>> Stephen: THIS IS HORRIBLE.
AND NOT JUST FOR CRUZ.
OLIVER STONE IS KICKING HIMSELF FOR NOT THINKING OF IT.
TRUMP IS BASING THIS ATTACK ON A GRAINY PHOTO OF A GUY WHO KIND
OF LOOKS LIKE TED CRUZ'S DAD STANDING NEAR LEE HARVEY OSWALD
THAT WAS PUBLISHED IN "THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER."
YEAH, YEAH.
AND CRUZ GOT EVEN MORE BAD NEWS WHEN THE "WEEKLY WORLD NEWS"
BROKE THE STORY THAT THE SECRETARY OF STATE WOULD BE BAT
BOY.
AND WHILE WE CAN ALL AGREE TED CRUZ'S DAD CLEARLY HIGH-FIVED
LEE HARVEY OSWALD RIGHT BEFORE HE HANDED MAMA CASS THAT HAM
SANDWICH, WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF TED CRUZ'S FAMILY?
I HEARD THAT JUST BEFORE THE "TITANIC" SUNK, SOMEONE SPOTTED
TED CRUZ'S GRANDFATHER LOVINGLY STROKING THE ICEBERG.
( LAUGHTER ) AND HIS GREAT-GRANDMOTHER WAS
SEEN PLAYING WITH THE LINDBERGH BABY AT THE TRIANGLE SHIRTWAIST
FACTORY JUST HOURS BEFORE ARCHDUKE FERDINAND WAS SHOT BY
TED CRUZ'S FATHER AFTER HE DRESSED AS A COW AND
KICKED OVER THE LANTERN THAT STARTED THE CHICAGO FIRE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ALL TRUE.
NOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT!
NOBODY TALKSES ABOUT IT!
BUT, OF COURSE, SENATOR TED CRUZ DID NOT TAKE THIS ATTACK LYING
DOWN.
HE FIRED BACK AT TRUMP STANDING UP.
>> THIS MORNING, DONALD TRUMP WENT ON NATIONAL TELEVISION
AND ATTACKED MY FATHER.
DONALD TRUMP ALLEGES THAT MY DAD WAS INVOLVED IN ASSASSINATING
J.F.K.
BUT DONALD IS A BULLY.
EVERY ONE OF US KNEW BULLIES IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.
BULLIES DON'T COME FROM STRENGTH.
BULLIES COME FROM WEAKNESS.
BULLIES COME FROM A DEEP, YAWNING CAVERN OF INSECURITY.
>> Stephen: YES, CRUZ IS RIGHT.
TRUMP IS A BULLY.
AND IF THERE IS ONE THING THAT STOPS A BULLY, IT IS TELLING ON
THEM.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
BUT TED DIDN'T JUST CALL HIM A BULLY.
HE CALLED HIM A SPECIFIC BULLY.
>> IF ANYONE HAS SEEN THE MOVIE "BACK TO THE FUTURE 2,"
THE SCREENWRITER SAYS THAT HE BASED THE CHARACTER BIFF TANNON
ON DONALD TRUMP.
WE ARE LOOKING POTENTIALLY AT THE BIFF TANNON PRESIDENCY.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
TRUMP WE ARE LOOKING AT A POTENTIAL BIFF TANNEN
PRESIDENCY.
AND IF THAT'S TRUE, THAT MEANS THERE'S STILL A CHANCE TED CRUZ
COULD USE THE FLUX CAPACITOR TO GO BACK IN TIME AND STOP HIS DAD
FROM SHOOTING J.F.K.!
DO THE RIGHT THING, TED!
DO THE RIGHT THING!
( APPLAUSE ) THE POINT IS, THIS GUY IS A
FIGHTER.
JUST LISTEN TO THIS TESTY EXCHANGE HE GOT INTO WITH A
TRUMP VOTER IN INDIANA.
>> WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT DONALD?
>> EVERYTHING.
>> GIVE ME ONE.
>> EVERYTHING.
>> PICK ANYTHING.
>> THE WALL.
>> OKAY THE WALL.
>> THAT'S THE MAIN THING.
IMMIGRATION.
>> HOLD ON A SECOND.
NOW, DO YOU KNOW ON THE WALL THAT DONALD TOLD THE "NEW YORK
TIMES" EDITORIAL BOARD HE'S NOT GOING TO BUILD A WALL.
HE'S NOT GOING TO DEPORT ANYONE.
>> YOU'RE LYIN'.
ONCE AGAIN, LYIN' TED!
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WOW.
TED CRUZ MAY HAVE BEEN ON THE PRINCETON DEBATE TEAM, BUT HE
JUST GOT STOMPED BY THE INDIANA HOLLERING SQUAD.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
IT IS-- THAT STINGS.
IT IS A TOUGH MOMENT FOR SENATOR CRUZ.
HE CAN'T BEAT TRUMP.
HE CAN'T EVEN WIN AN ARGUMENT AGAINST TRUMP'S FUTURE PRESS
SECRETARY.
BUT BRAVELY, BRAVELY, TED CRUZZED ON.
>> SIR, AMERICA IS A BETTER COUNTRY--
>> WITHOUT YOU.
>> THANK YOU FOR THOSE KIND SENTIMENTS.
LET ME POINT OUT, I'VE TREATED YOU RESPECTFULLY THE
ENTIRE TIME.
AND A QUESTION YOU SHOULD ASK-- >> ARE YOU CANADIAN?
ARE YOU CANADIAN?
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: IT'S A FAIR QUESTION!
ARE YOU CANADIAN?
A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE THINKING OF BECOMING CANADIAN AROUND
NOVEMBER 9.