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DOCTOR: We could do some liposuction here,
here, here,
and...
here,
giving it a nice lift.
And smooth out these saddlebags.
As for the ***...
I want them up a bit.
Could you do it all in one go?
I could do the thighs and the tummy tuck,
but the *** and the semiface and eye lift
would have to be done separately.
Even if I paid you more?
LEANNE: Denise!
Her husband's left her.
DOCTOR: I'm sorry.
You see, this might be just a knee-jerk reaction.
You really need to think carefully about it.
We're talking about a lot of surgery here.
And I have to be honest -- There will be some discomfort.
-I can do discomfort. -He means pain.
I want my face doing first.
Right.
And you know how much it's going to cost?
I've seen your price list, and I've got money.
I've got loads of money.
[ Dog whines ]
Oh, sweetheart. What are you doing sat there?
I can't let you in. You'll get me into trouble.
-Go on. Shoo. -[ Whines ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Barking ]
MAUREEN: Is that you, Denise?
-DENISE: Yeah! -[ Music playing on television ]
Dave!
You're never gonna guess what's happened at work.
We were robbed.
Where are you, Dave?
Where's that naughty daddy, eh?
Where's he?
Ohh. There you go, darling.
Oh! Who's done that?
MAUREEN: Denise! Are you there?!
Won't be a minute, Mam.
Naughty boy.
Honestly.
Got your fish.
[ Groans ]
I could be laid here dead for all anyone cares.
I haven't had a drink all afternoon.
I'm sorry, Mam.
[ Moaning ]
Oh!
When's that bloody bed coming?!
Soon. We're top of the waiting list.
What we waiting for, someone to peg out?
Where's Dave?
Out gallivanting, I expect.
Mam.
When he should be working.
And who'd look after you if he had to go to work?
He doesn't look after me.
He lives here scot-free
in the house your father and I worked all our lives for,
and he never thinks to put his head 'round the door
to see if I want owt.
Did your carers come today?
They were in and out in two minutes.
Said I had to choose between a bed bath
and a prick-and-ding meal.
-[ Whimpering ] -Oh, Mam.
I'd have come straight home if I'd have known.
I'm late 'cause we had a burglary at the shop.
A burglary?
An armed robber with a gun, just as Stuart were cashing up.
We'd only been gone five minutes.
It's getting just like America.
He took the lot and bashed
Bob over the head with a whiskey bottle.
They've taken him to hospital, and that's where I've been.
-That's terrible. -I know.
[ Sighs ] I better put Dave's fish and chips in the oven
before they go cold.
I need a Xanax.
And I'll have a cup of tea!
[ Sighs ]
[ Music plays ]
-[ Applause ] -[ Man speaking indistinctly ]
[ Beeps ]
MACHINE: You have two new messages.
[ Beeps ]
First message.
DENISE: Dave, it's me.
Listen, I've got to go back to work.
There's a problem. I'll ring you later.
[ Beeps ]
MACHINE: Second message.
DENISE: I'm sorry I'm late, love,
but I've got fish and chips.
I've been to the hospital.
But I'll tell you about it when I get home.
MACHINE: End of messages.
MAN ON TV: And it's number 7,
one of our least popular numbers,
last seen five weeks ago.
And our second ball out tonight...
Hi, Dave. It's me. Where are you?
I've got fish and ch--
...is number 3.
3 last made an appearance five months ago.
It's a double century for number 3,
making its 200th appearance.
That's our wedding anniversary.
Drawing the fourth number now.
Of course, matching four numbers
gives you a minimum £100.
Best of luck.
And 28 is back again.
It put in an appearance just two weeks ago.
Mam! I've got four numbers, Mam!
[ Dog barking ]
[ Laughter ]
Where's me tea?
-[ Laughter stops ] -I were watching that!
We'll have definitely won summat.
-And it's number 8. -Number 8.
That's one of mine. I'm sure it is.
-Is that an 8, Mam? -It's an 8.
No, it can't be. I must have got it wrong.
Oh, for God's sake.
You've been doing it seven years.
You must know your numbers by now.
Billy's birthday is January the 8th!
Or is it the 18th?
You'll have won a tenner.
Karen won a tenner, and she --
Shut up, Mam!
Number 40.
40!
Our house! Number 40!
I don't believe this!
Right, where's my ticket? What did I do with it?!
[ Dog barking ]
I need a Xanax!
So let's recap those numbers.
No, Billy! No, it is not a game!
...number 8, number 28...
Have you found it?!
Write the numbers down, Mam!
-The bounty ball -- number 12. -Bounty ball's 12!
I don't need the bounty ball!
Oh, my giddy aunt!
What did I do with it?
Oh!
Oh, for heaven's sake.
[ Gasps ]
Oh, my Lord.
It is an 8.
I'm sorry, I didn't have a pen
so I couldn't write the numbers down,
but I think I've definitely won summat.
-What's she saying? -Shh, Mam!
So you know there's been a win in the area?
-How does she know? -I'm trying to listen.
Sorry?
Yes, of -- of course I can read the numbers out.
The first one is number 3.
The next one is number 7.
Number 8.
28.
It's 23!
It is an 8, Mother! It's Dave's birthday!
It's 28! It's definitely 28.
Don't snap me head off!
The next one is number 32 and the --
Oh, I'm sorry. Am I going too fast?
Oh, how hard can it be to check six numbers?
40.
Hello?
Are you still there?
Where's she gone?
Yes, of course, you can ask me some questions.
It is my ticket, but I'm part of a syndicate.
There are five of us.
Have you won?
I bought the ticket where I work.
Right Buy U, Bentley Parade, Leeds.
Ask her how much!
I'm sorry, could you repeat that?
Those are the winning numbers?
Does that mean I've won?
18 million...
-144,000... -18 million!
Mother of God.
Where are you going?
Oh, oh! Oh, God!
Yes. This is her mam.
I can't have won the lottery!
She gets a bit overcome sometimes.
She's always been highly strung.
I don't believe it! She must have got it wrong!
-Right. -I don't believe it!
-Will you shut it?! -What's she saying, Mam?
Yeah?
And you've got this number, haven't you?
Ta-ra, then.
Right.
You're to sign your name and address on back of ticket
and keep it somewhere safe.
There'll be somebody called Andy summat or other
coming 'round to see you at the shop tomorrow.
You're to tell t'others that have won straightaway,
but you're not to say owt to anyone else.
No.
18 million.
[ Both laughing ]
[ Laughter and screaming ]
Where's my *** and my lighter? And a drink!
Remember, we've not got to breathe a word to anyone.
I don't believe it. I haven't got anything in.
What about some sweet tea, for the shock?
Tea? We should be drinking champagne!
-I know. -In a five-star hotel.
In the Caribbean, by a pool.
No! On a yacht wearing diamonds!
-Oh, I can't wait to tell Dave. -Doesn't he know?
No, I don't know where he is,
and he's not answering his phone.
There's half a bottle of red wine in the kitchen.
Somebody was screaming.
Ohh.
It's nothing, sweetheart. Come on. Back to bed.
Why is Auntie Denise here?
She's come 'round to tell me I've got a pay rise at work.
Does that mean we can go to Disneyland?
Well -- Come on.
DENISE: It's nearly four million each.
-STUART: [ Sighs ] -JAMIE: Bloody hellfire.
We're rich!
-Mwah! -DENISE: Ooh!
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
STUART: I don't believe it! It's bloody incredible!
We're millionaires! No one can touch us now!
Nothing like this has ever happened to me before.
I've never won anything in my life.
Not a scratch card, phone-in, nothing.
Have you told Annie yet?
No, because when I rang the lottery line,
they said I have to inform everyone in the syndicate first.
Is Bob not in the syndicate?
Bob -- Bob's in a coma.
We hadn't told me mam yet.
JOYCE: Told me what?
[ Door opens ]
[ Dogs barking ]
[ Door closes ]
Dave?
Where have you been?
I've been worried to death.
I must have rung you a hundred times.
I've had me phone turned off.
-What for? -I needed time to think.
-What about? -You know what about.
No, I don't. But I've got summat to tell you.
We've not really been getting on, have we?
Getting on?
We live in this house, but we don't really have
a proper life together, do we?
-Don't we? -Like husband and wife.
I don't know what you're saying.
I'm saying...
...neither of us are getting anything out of this marriage.
I'm sorry?
You don't really care about me anymore.
You care more about the dogs than you do about me.
No, that's not true!
It is, love. I mean, look at this place.
And what's that thing doing here again?!
Uh, I don't know.
She must have followed me in last night.
I had a couple of glasses of wine with Leanne.
DAVE: I can't live like this anymore.
Well, I'll get rid of her.
I'll ring the dogs home, and they'll come and pick her up.
I don't care what you do.
It's none of my business anymore.
Of course it's your business. You live here.
No. No, come on, girl. Come on.
You've got to go.
Come on.
-No. You've got to go. -[ Door opens ]
-You can't stay here. -[ Door closes ]
[ Dog barking ]
There you are. She's gone.
I just want a normal life, Denise,
and I don't want to live in your mother's house.
Well, we can move. We can...
I'm gonna get meself a job, and I'm gonna start again.
All right. I'll do whatever you want.
No, Denise. I want to start again. Me.
On me own. I'm 48, and I've got nothing to show for it.
Is this 'cause we couldn't have a baby?
No, it's got nothing to do with that.
Listen, love, I'm doing this as much for you as I am for me.
Doing what?
-Leaving. -Leaving?
Oh, God, no, you can't leave me.
-You deserve someone better. -I don't want anyone else.
Someone who likes living like this.
Someone who's attracted to you.
-Are you not attracted to me? -MAUREEN: Denise?
Is that Dave?
Yeah. We're just talking, Mam.
You used to say I was cuddly.
What's wrong with me?
-Nothing. -No, come on. Tell me.
You don't care about yourself anymore.
MAUREEN: Denise?!
We haven't had sex in four and a half years, Denise.
Didn't you think summat was odd?
No, I thought it was because of your back.
MAUREEN: Me pillows need doing!
Two minutes, Mam!
I'm sorry.
I've been dreading having this conversation.
I've been putting it off for years
'cause I didn't want you getting depressed again.
And I can't do it anymore.
I've come to the end of the road.
I swear to God, you'll look back in years to come,
and you'll thank me.
[ Crying ] No, I won't. I love you.
I've always loved you.
-You think you do. -No, I know that I do!
Dave, I can change.
Everything's gonna change from now on.
You can't change who you are.
I can!
Please.
Dave, don't go.
Is there anything that I can say that'll make you stay?
Nothing.
Even if I told you that I won the lottery?
It's got nothing to do with money.
I just can't live like this anymore.
It's not a rehearsal, Denise.
[ Sobbing ]
So how did you find that doctor?
Yellow Pages.
Oh! You're barking mad.
You're gonna let him loose on your face with a scalpel,
and you've not even checked him out?
He's nice. I trust him.
Yeah, people trusted Harold Shipman.
I just want Dave to fancy me again, that is all.
So have your hair done. Buy yourself some new clothes.
You don't have to have a load of plastic surgery.
JOSH: Our other office have got
a beautiful five-bedroom house on Sandmoor Gardens.
It's just come down to 1.1
'cause the owners are moving to Dubai.
It's amazing.
Well, I'll ring Amy, see if I can get off work early.
I'll pick you up if you want.
Oh, I get better service now I've won the lottery, do I?
Talking over a million quid, mate.
I would carry you on my back if I had to.
Could you give my card to some of the others?
Yeah, sure.
It's not like Denise and Leanne to be late back from lunch.
Not much incentive to work, I expect.
Please leave a message after the tone.
It's the answer machine.
Hello. It's me again -- Denise.
I was just wondering
if you'd like to come to me mam's birthday on Sunday.
I hope you can come.
I miss you.
-He'll be 'round like a shot. -Do you think so?
Course! He'll know by now you've won the lottery.
He couldn't care less about money.
He'll be at your mam's party, Denise, trust me,
now he's got an invite.
So your brother's the only one to jack the job in?
Yeah.
Try him again if you like?
I think he were test-driving a car,
so he might not be able to answer his phone.
Answer machine.
Jamie, it's me.
We're still waiting for you, bro.
I said to my missus when I saw you all on the news,
I'm sure it's the same supermarket that got robbed.
I weren't even sure if you'd be open.
Yeah, it's what Bob would want.
Nice guy, Bob. Was he a good manager?
The best. He might be going home tomorrow.
So I hear.
And he's remembering bits and pieces now.
That's good.
I understand your brother's got a bit of a track record?
Yeah, well, he's clean now.
Let's hope all this money don't turn his head.
Thought you'd done a runner.
We wouldn't do that.
-Now then, ladies. -DENISE: Sorry we're late.
I had an hospital appointment, and it ran over.
Have you found who robbed us, then?
Not yet, but it's piecing together nicely.
Congratulations on your win, by the way.
-Oh, cheers. -Thank you very much.
[ Engine revving ]
Oh, my giddy aunt! Will you look at that?!
LEANNE: How much will that have cost?
He looks like a film star.
See? If he can do it, so can I.
I'm here.
-Wow. -Look at you.
STUART: Have you bought it?
Yeah. He's getting me a blue Porsche an' all.
Right. What's all this about, then?
Inspector Newall wants us to look at CCTV footage again.
I've seen it.
NEWALL: I'd like you to all see it together,
see if it helps jog your memory.
Right. Crack on, then.
Are you usually the first to go?
No. But I were meeting somebody that night.
You were on a promise.
Yeah. That's right.
NEWALL: Bit early for a date.
Yeah, I was meeting me mates first, wanted to get changed.
Didn't she turn up, love?
What?
Well, you were back home when I came 'round at half 9:00
to tell you we'd won.
Do you have a contact for this girl?
No. She were just someone I met in a club.
But you've got a mobile number?
It were blocked.
What is this? You accusing me or summat?
I tell you what --
Why don't you check with me mates?
Went to Black Swan, then Phono's.
Left at 10 past 9:00 and got a cab home.
On a Saturday night?
JAMIE: Yeah. On a Saturday night.
He's only just finished his probation.
Me mam likes him back before 10:00
'cause that's when all the dealers are out.
Oh, cheers, bruv!
Why don't you just tell him all me business?
He knows your business.
As you can see, he's white, and about your build.
There's thousands of blokes that are thin like me.
I think I'd know if it were me own brother.
Oh, I'm sure you would.
Okay, you'll notice the assailant isn't wearing gloves,
so he's clearly not a professional.
We've got some decent prints from the desk
and the neck of the whiskey bottle.
So for elimination purposes
we'd like to take everybody's fingerprints.
Except Jamie, whose we've already got on file.
I could've bitten me tongue off as soon as I said it.
Don't worry. It's not like he's done anything wrong.
No, but I'd hate to get him into trouble.
Well, you just said the truth.
I can't see what that says.
£22.60.
Oh. [ Chuckling ] Thanks.
I'm not wearing these 'cause I think I'm famous.
I've just had my eyes done.
You are famous. I saw you on the telly.
I like your teeth.
Oh, thanks. I've just had them whitened.
Ohh.
Do you want a lottery ticket?
-Oh, no, thanks. Bye. -Bye-bye.
Cheers for that, Denise.
I'm sorry, love. I didn't think.
No, you never do.
That wasn't very nice.
I could have said about them not telling their mum,
but I didn't.
LEANNE: What?
Where's he going now?
What do you mean, they didn't tell their mum?
When I went 'round to their house
to tell them about winning the lottery,
their mum didn't know about the robbery
or Bob being in hospital, and I thought it was a bit odd.
It is odd.
And Jamie was wearing the same clothes he'd been to work in,
and he said he'd got changed.
And I didn't say anything about that, and I could have.
You said just to keep everything normal.
Well, it is normal to jack your job in
when you've just won millions on the lottery, you ***.
What if he wants to talk to one of your mates
or someone at the Black Swan?
I've got money, so I can pay for anyone to say anything.
Your fingerprints are gonna be all over that bottle.
No ***, Sherlock. I used to work here.
Me fingerprints are gonna be on everything.
No, I don't think Jamie seemed any different
to how he usually was.
It was Stuart that --
I'm sorry, but can I ask you to remove your sunglasses?
I'm not supposed to 'cause I've had me eyes lasered.
It was Stuart that...
Seemed cut up about being laid off.
'Cause he's worked here longer,
and he's got a family to think about.
So when you called 'round to their house to tell the lads,
did Jamie look like he'd been out on the town?
D-Do you know, I don't really remember.
Tell you the truth, that night was all a bit of a blur.
Oh, it's beautiful.
Look at the furniture.
That banister's gonna take some polishing.
We'll paint it white.
There's two reception rooms
and a self-contained nanny flat above the garage.
[ Gasps ] There you go, Jack. A place for your Nana!
"Nanny." As in someone to help look after the children, Joyce.
Yeah, that's what I do, isn't it?
-Can I see the kitchen? -Yeah, if you follow me.
Like she's gonna cook.
Aaaah!
-Stuart! -Amy?
There's a swimming pool in the kitchen.
Skedaddle.
Ooh, well, look at you with your sunnies on.
Your mam's just been telling us all about your win.
Yeah, we pretended like we didn't know anything about it,
but you were all over the front page of the Post.
KAREN: When do you get the money?
Came in bank yesterday.
-KAREN: Brilliant! -CHRIS: That's quick.
So, what you gonna buy with it?
Well, I've ordered a new bed for me mam,
so you can take her off the list.
Oh, bless. And what else?
A stair lift -- 'cause we're sick of waiting --
and a step-in Jacuzzi bath.
You're not planning on moving, then?
No. I don't think so.
Not unless Dave comes back.
Oh, yeah. Your mam's just been telling us about that as well.
I'm sorry.
We'd better be off. Edna'll be waiting.
Oh, before you go...
[ Whispering ] I'm having a bit of a surprise do
for me mam's birthday on Sunday, if you'd both like to come.
I'll have to check what I'm doing.
Thanks, Denise. What time?
Anytime after 4:00.
And I was wondering if you might know somewhere
where me mam could go for a few days next week.
Something like a little holiday place
where she could get looked after.
Okay. Bye.
-DENISE: Bye. -CHRIS: See ya.
DENISE: Bye.
Now, I'm just going to hit each tooth
with this laser pulse.
Just put your hand up if you want me to stop.
But most people don't feel a thing.
Are you ready?
Uh-huh.
[ Beeps ]
[ Screaming ]
If having your teeth whitened hurt,
what are you gonna be like
when you come 'round after surgery?
You'll be in agony.
I'll just take plenty of painkillers.
I can't believe that I can see.
I've worn glasses since I were in junior school.
Really?
[ Gasps ] Look!
That is how I want my hair.
It'll be all right when you've washed it.
Yeah.
Yours looks lovely.
Right, get your card ready,
'cause we're gonna do some serious spending, girl.
[ Laughs ]
WOMAN: I'm sorry, but you've got to make an appointment.
You can't just turn up.
Oh. Sorry. We didn't know.
If you'd like to ring and make a booking...
No, but I-I need summat for Sunday.
It's all right. Stuff 'em. We'll go somewhere else.
Um, excuse me.
I'm not a personal shopper. I'm just an assistant.
But there's a spare fitting room and I can bring you things in
if you let me know what you're looking for.
[ Tom Jones' "She's a Lady" plays ]
♪ Well, she's all you'd ever want ♪
♪ She's the kind I'd like to flaunt ♪
♪ And take to dinner ♪
♪ But she always knows her place ♪
♪ She's got style, she's got grace ♪
♪ She's a winner ♪
♪ She's a lady ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, she's a lady ♪
You look amazing!
♪ Talking about that little lady ♪
-You look amazing! -[ Both laugh ]
-♪ And the lady is mine ♪ -Oh! Look at us!
Is there anything I can be bagging up for you?
Anything you definitely want?
Well, I think all of that rail, don't you, Leanne?
LEANNE: Definitely. And the shoes.
And the jewelry that you brought me to try on.
I'd like that as well.
[ Both laugh ]
That's 3,500.
There we go. And one, two, three, four, five.
And a hundred for you.
Oh, no, I can't take all that.
I mean, I get my commission anyway.
Course you can. You deserve it. You were brilliant.
Nobody could have done better.
Ta-ra.
I like being rich.
[ Both laugh ]
-Hiya! -Now then.
Bloody hell. I hardly recognized you.
What you been doing to yourself?
Bob!
Oh, she looks great.
Thanks. I've bought some new clothes.
I can see that.
Loads of them. They cost a fortune.
You can afford it.
And we've had three and a half glasses of champagne.
Oh, it's all right for some, isn't it?
[ Laughs ]
So when they letting you home, then?
It's -- It's complicated.
'Cause when they did the scan, they found something.
BOB: Yeah, a brain.
[ Laughing ] Hey! Surprise, surprise.
What do you mean?
Well, they're not sure what it is yet.
Um, well, it could be like a cyst or a benign tumor.
That's awful.
Oh, I'm sorry.
BOB: Oh, there's nowt to be sorry about, love.
No, they just want to give me a few more tests
and another scan tomorrow
and, all being well, I can go home.
Is there anything we can do?
It's lovely to see your bonnie faces.
Everything seems to be going wrong
since we won the lottery.
BOB: Hey, stop that.
There's people out there in debt,
not knowing where their next penny's coming from.
We're the lucky ones.
Don't feel like that sometimes.
Dave's left me.
-Oh, heck, love. -Oh, you poor thing.
Come on. It'll be all right.
You're all right, love.
I'm sorry, Bob.
I think it's the champagne. [ Sniffles ]
If you're back home on Sunday,
I'm having a bit of a do for my mam's birthday,
and it would be lovely if you could both come.
Oh, grand.
DENISE: Poor Bob.
He's such a lovely man,
and he's never done anything wrong.
He'll be all right.
He's not gonna be coming back to work, though, is he?
I've got a message.
It's Dave.
I knew he'd phone. What's he say?
Shh!
Oh, my giddy aunt.
He's coming on Sunday!
He's coming!
-What did I tell you? -[ Laughing ]
There you go. You're welcome.
Oh, hang on a minute, love. Can you wait?
MAN: Course I can, love, yeah. No problem.
Now then.
Mam!
Ohh.
I must have dropped off.
Look who's come to see us.
-Hello, Father Thomas. -Hello, my dear.
-You're looking lovely. -Thank you.
Who let you in?
Oh, he turned up just as Karen and Chris were leaving.
It's not spicy, is it?
No. It's just cheese and tomato.
Your mammy's been telling me about your good fortune.
And Father Thomas has been telling me
about the church's bad luck.
They've taken all the lead off roof again.
Oh, that's terrible.
Father Thomas was wondering if you'd like to give something
towards replacing it.
Oh.
Oh, right.
Thank you!
Much appreciated, my dear.
Did I tell you they've taken the stone flagging
from the front as well?
Ohh.
There you go.
God bless you, my child.
Father Thomas was just saying
it'd be nice to see you at church more often.
Yeah, well, it'd be nice to see Father Thomas
'round here more often.
How many years is it since you've been to see my mam?
Why are you snapping at Father Thomas?
I've told you before -- It's not his fault you had a miscarriage.
I'm not blaming him.
Well, why did you stop going to church
after you lost the baby, then?
I just didn't see the point.
If you'd talked to Father Thomas
instead of taking them tablets that turned you into a zombie,
he'd have helped you.
Don't lose your faith, my dear.
When you were in hospital,
I prayed to our Lord to look after you
and welcome your baby into heaven.
God bless her.
May she rest in peace.
He was a boy.
DENISE: If it was up to me, I'd let you stay.
MAN: Sorry, did you say something, love?
Oh, no, it's all right. I'm just talking to the dog.
No problem.
Here we are. Can you just pull in here?
If you could wait again?
Well, okay, if you're sure.
RODNEY: So the little rascal followed you home
from the park, did she?
DENISE: That's right.
You won't put her down, will you?
Oh, good heavens. We'll never put a healthy dog down.
Really?
Oh, that's great. I was really worried about that.
No way.
We'll do our best to find her a good home.
If we can't, we'll just keep her here at the sanctuary.
What's that?
It's a large open area we've got 'round the back
where the dogs have a lovely stress-free existence
and plenty of love and fussing.
Oh, that sounds lovely.
Can I move in?
-I'll join you. -[ Laughs ]
So, who pays for all of this?
We're a charity,
so we rely on the goodwill
and generosity of our supporters.
We've got volunteers that help out.
I mean, that's how I got started.
I'd like to do that.
Well...we've got a form.
I'll get you one, if you want.
[ Mechanical whirring ]
Press the button with the wiggly line on it.
[ Soft rhythmic thumping ]
Ooh.
That's lovely.
That's for your circulation.
I bet they've got these beds at the hotel, don't you, Karen?
I don't know that I want to go to that Sea Haven place.
Course you do. It's the seaside.
Look, it's a little holiday for you.
I'd feel better if you was coming with me.
-I can't do, Mam. -You can.
It says, "And family members."
-I've got to go into hospital. -What for?
You're not still trying for a baby, are you?
Mam.
I've heard it's lovely.
One of me other ladies went. She didn't want to come home.
I wouldn't send you anywhere that wasn't nice, Mam.
Look, you've got your own room overlooking the sea
and someone to look after you 24 hours a day.
Right.
Are you gonna get me into the chair?
-[ Indistinct talking ] -[ Laughs ]
LEANNE: Oh, she's gorgeous, isn't she?
Yeah.
All right, then.
LEANNE: It's nice to see Bob here.
STUART: Yeah, he's looking good.
You know they found something on his brain?
-No. -Yeah.
He's had a scan and some tests.
Gets his results tomorrow.
You all right, Bob?
[ Chuckling ] Yeah.
Better now I'm not in there. [ Laughs ]
Ta.
[ Inhales sharply ]
It's dogs.
What happens if it comes off the wall?
It won't.
What you really need is a purpose-built bungalow.
So who have you got waiting downstairs?
Mam! It's supposed to be a surprise.
Oh, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
-[ Beeps ] -There you go!
-Oh! -KAREN: And she's off.
[ Both laugh ]
Oh, it's a bit slow, isn't it?
Hiya.
I forgot to give you this.
It came to the shop.
It says "Leah," but I think they just spelled your name wrong.
I expect it'll be people asking for money.
-I've had loads. -What did you do with them?
Depends what they're asking for.
I've sent a few hundred quid to some of them,
but just binned the rest.
AMY: What you doing out here?
Talking to Leanne.
What?
Nothing. Her mam's coming down.
Right.
I'll be two minutes.
Right. See you later.
[ Sighs ]
Shh! Everyone.
Shh, shh, shh.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Well, I never!
Okay, you can all *** off now.
[ Laughter ]
I'm only kidding.
Right, well, I've pushed the boat out.
Everything's bought in.
So eat up!
[ Laughs ]
-Put me near cake. -All right, Mother!
-Thanks, love. -[ Laughs ]
STACEY: [ Laughing ]
So I said, "You must be joking. What, in this outfit?"
[ Laughs ]
He's not gonna come.
Give him time.
You look gorgeous, by the way.
Thanks.
Hospital rang with my appointment yesterday.
Half 11:00, Thursday.
You're mad! You don't need to.
Don't you understand? He'll be begging you to take him back.
But he's not attracted to me anymore.
Oh!
-AMY: Who's that? -STUART: It's her husband.
No.
I knocked, but, uh, nobody...
Oh, sorry, love.
But you don't have to knock. This is your house.
Excuse me. I think you'll find it's my name on the deeds.
Happy birthday, Maureen.
Huh. Thank you very much.
I'm so pleased you came, Dave.
DAVE: I wouldn't have missed your mam's birthday.
Even though she hates me guts.
Oh, she doesn't hate you, honestly.
Think I look different?
Yeah, yeah. What have you done?
I've had me eyes lasered, so no more glasses.
-And look at me teeth. -Ooh.
And no more frizzy hair, either.
Well, I liked your hair curly.
Well, I can easily curl it again.
And I've got makeup on,
and I've bought loads of new clothes and underwear,
and some of it's really pretty.
It seems like ages since I've seen you.
Oh, it's just a week.
It's the longest week of me life.
Yeah, me too.
Oh, Dave.
I've been so stupid. I've not looked after meself.
DAVE: You -- You look great.
DENISE: Thanks.
I'm never, ever gonna let meself go again, ever.
I promise.
We can really enjoy our lives together now we've got money.
You can do everything that you want.
Oh!
Oh, put your arms around me, love, please.
Look at her, fawning over him.
She won't hear a wrong word said about him.
She's a soft touch.
Do you know she's having a load of cosmetic surgery on Thursday?
No.
-What the hell for? -For him.
And she's no idea what she's gonna go through.
[ Soft rhythmic thumping ]
[ Doorbell ringing ]
DENISE: I'll get it.
I'll bring you some breakfast up.
Oh, hello!
What are you doing here so early?
Yeah.
I brought your mam's cream.
I noticed she's got a few new sores.
I didn't want it spoiling her holiday.
Sorry I couldn't make it yesterday.
That's all right. Where's Karen?
We've had to split up, that many to see.
Did your mam enjoy herself?
Yeah. Well, I think so.
I was a bit taken up with other things.
Everything all right?
Fantastic.
Dave's back.
Really?
I'm just gonna do him some breakfast now.
We had a good talk last night,
and we decided we'd give it another go.
Well, now I'm making a bit of an effort,
he said I looked great.
You've just won the lottery. Course he's gonna say that.
No, he meant it. I could tell he did.
I'm just looking out for you.
Anyway, best get this cream on.
If you could do the same again tonight.
LEANNE: Oh, come on, Stuart.
He leaves her.
Two days later, he finds out she's won the lottery,
and thinks, "***. What have I done?"
Then she invites him to a party.
Whoopee! Great excuse to get back with her.
Yeah, well, it might not be because of the money.
A little less chat and a little more work, please.
***.
I can't stand him.
I don't think I can stick it anymore.
It's not like I need the money.
Yeah, we might get Bob back next week.
He got his results today.
I've rung him twice, but it just keeps going to answer machine.
Chris?
[ Door opens ]
You all right?
Hang on a minute, love.
What's the matter?
[ Sighs ] Nothing. [ Sniffles ]
I'm fine. Everything's fine.
Well, there's obviously something wrong.
So I've got a meeting with the financial advisor
and the lottery solicitor at 10:00.
-But after -- -I could come with you.
Oh, you can't, love.
Only members of the syndicate are allowed.
Yeah, but I'm your husband.
Them's the rules.
Do you want any of this toast?
I can't eat.
Do you love me again, Dave?
Oh, I never stopped loving you.
Look at me.
What?
Nothing.
"Eat on Us" for a fiver.
You're all doing it these days.
I think it's the recession.
We'd like you to come down to the station with us.
There's a couple of questions we'd like to ask you.
Right.
Well, I'll just tell me manager and get my coat.
Is it just stuff they can't get rid of?
It's a new promotion.
Excuse me. I've got to go and serve.
What are the police doing here again?
They're taking Stuart in for questioning.
-What for? -I don't know.
Are you all right?
Yeah, I'm fine. I've just put me drops in.
So you must be Denise.
In future, do you mind taking these meetings
outside of this shop?
It wasn't my idea.
Right. Cabaret's over.
You all right, sweetheart?
Come on. Let's crack on.
Now, are you gonna get this display sorted,
or am I gonna have to do it meself?
I guess do it yourself. 'Cause I've had enough.
-Well, where you going? -Home.
Oh, won the lottery, have we?
This is Ruth Brady, our solicitor.
BRADY: Pleased to meet you.
FARADAY: And our financial advisor, Ewan Richardson.
Any questions you have about money, investments,
law, inheritance tax, you name it,
they know it all.
You see, that's what you call a proper motor.
6.3-liter V-8.
Right.
She's only 176K.
Couldn't fit Billy and Tilly in the back, though, could we?
Should we not think about it?
What's there to think about? He's doing us a fantastic deal.
[ Dog whining ]
Best not rush into anything, eh?
Where you going?
I think Billy needs a wee.
Can I have another sit inside?
-Course. -Cheers.
[ Barking ]
NEWALL: What were you saying?
Don't know.
Just replay that for me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it looks to me
like you're telling the intruder to get down.
Now, why would you say that?
We could afford to put your mam
in a really nice residential care home
now we've got the money.
She wouldn't like that.
How do you know?
She'd be with people her own age,
proper nurses looking after her.
I know you worry about your mam, love.
I've read about these care homes,
and they don't care at all.
-They're horrible places. -Not all of them.
She's staying with me.
Right, so we've got all this money,
we can't enjoy it 'cause we're gonna be stuck with your mam.
No, that is not strictly correct.
It is.
What's the point of us having it if nothing's gonna change?
The point is, Dave, that we haven't got all of this money.
-I've got it. -What?
How long were you gonna leave it?
Leave it?
Before you told me things weren't working out again?
When I'd bought you a Mercedes?
When we'd been on a world trip or a couple of cruises?
Or when I'd put a lump sum into your bank account?
-You've lost me. -When, Dave?
When were you gonna tell me?
What are you talking about?
I knew that you'd fallen out of love with me,
but I had no idea that you hated me so much.
-I don't hate you. -You must do.
Otherwise why would you lie to me and try to trick me?
I don't lie to you.
How long have you known that you...
How long have you known that you like men?
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about Chris, me mam's carer.
What about him?
He said that you'd been seeing each other
for the best part of a year.
What?!
He said that you were gonna move in with him
until you heard that I'd won the lottery.
Do you love him?
I'm not even gonna answer that.
All right. Have you got feelings for him?
I'm not gonna have this conversation.
Well, you're gonna have to because I want to know,
and I've a right to know.
Know what?!
He's told me everything!
You might as well admit it, Dave!
This is crazy. I'm your husband.
Well, evidently that means nothing.
I want to know if you've got feelings for him.
He's a really nice bloke, and we get on together.
-And? -And...
I-It's not straightforward. It's not easy to understand.
Why don't you try me? I'm not so thick as you think.
All right.
It's a really long day when you're by yourself,
and I-I used to look forward to seeing him.
-That's all. -Right. I get it.
And...
Oh, God, I can't say it.
I don't even want to think it.
Did you do it with him in our house?
Oh, for God's sake.
It's true, isn't it?
I mean, why would he lie to me?
Have you got any idea how you have made me feel?
-It's not about you. -It is about me!
I married you!
I stood up in a church
in front of both of our families and friends, and I said me vows!
You're the man that I chose to spend my life with.
I've never slept with anyone else.
You're making a big thing about nothing.
So you spent all of last week at his place.
I had nowhere else to go.
And I just needed time to --
to sort meself out, see what I really felt.
And what did you decide?
I wanted to come back to you.
So, what's different?
I don't know.
I've won the lottery, that's what.
I knew you'd think that.
So why didn't I come back the minute I heard, then?
'Cause it would be too obvious.
Look, all I care about is you and me.
No, you don't care about me at all.
I do.
You've no idea how difficult all this has been for me,
what I've been through.
Dave, you have got no idea what I have been through!
All of this was for you!
Eyes lasered, teeth whitened, everything!
-You didn't do it for me. -I did!
I'm booked in with a plastic surgeon next Thursday
to get me face and me *** done!
Well, I don't know what the hell for.
Because you made me feel like I'm some kind of an ugly freak!
That is why!
If you'd have been straight with me,
if you'd have told me that you were leaving me for a man,
I would have tried to have got me brain 'round it.
Will you shut up?
I wouldn't have put up a fight.
I would have accepted it. I would have had to have.
I mean, how could I compete with a man?
You're not competing with anyone.
18 months after...
18 months after I lost the baby...
Don't, Denise.
...I went to the doctor,
and he asked me how often we made love,
and I lied to him because I was embarrassed.
'Cause I thought it was my fault
'cause I wasn't attractive enough.
My fault 'cause I wasn't sexy.
I thought it was my fault 'cause you didn't love me enough.
It wasn't your fault.
So anyway, I've bought you the Mercedes.
What?
I went outside and rang them when I took Billy for a wee.
I got the bank to transfer the money over.
They'll deliver it whenever you like,
but that is all you're getting.
What do you mean?
I don't want to share my winnings with you, Dave.
Really?
I'm your husband. I'm entitled to half of it.
No, Dave.
My winnings are not a matrimonial asset.
You'd already left me,
and you didn't contribute towards the ticket.
I've spoken to a solicitor.
Yeah. I thought you would have.
Well, I expect he's told you
that you'll have to apply through the courts,
and that'll cost a fortune.
And anyway, according to the lottery solicitor,
Section 25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973
means that you'll get *** all.
Just in case, I've given a million to the dogs home,
and I've put the rest in me mam's name.
-Here. Come on. -[ Dog barks ]
So that's it, is it?
A thank-you for the car would have been nice.
So this means you can look after me money, does it?
That's right.
It's a "power of eternity" thingy.
Your fish all right?
Lightly done. Just how I like it.
Chris won't be coming anymore, Mam.
I'm gonna stay at home and look after you meself.
What about your job?
I'm handing me notice in.
And...
Dave won't be coming back after all.
Are you all right?
No.
[ Sighs ]
But I will be.
What do you think
about having a bungalow built with everything in it
to make life easy?
Oh! It'd cost a lot of money.
We've got a lot of money.
[ Laughs ]
Well, it sounds nice.
I've seen a lovely plot right next to the dogs home,
and I'm gonna be working there twice a week as a volunteer.
Oh, that's right up your street.
Am I still going to Scarborough?
Well, I thought we'd all go when I finish at shop.
You're not having that operation, then?
No.
I don't think I'll bother with that anymore.
I think I'm all right as I am.
You're lovely.
Yeah.
I am.
[ Laughs ]
[ Sighs ]
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