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♪ WHEN THIS BOY MEETS WORLD ♪
♪ BOY MEETS WORLD ♪
♪ WANDERING DOWN THIS ROAD THAT WE CALL LIFE ♪
♪ IS WHAT WE'RE DOIN' ♪
♪ IT'S GOOD TO KNOW I HAVE FRIENDS ♪
♪ WHO WILL ALWAYS STAND BY ME ♪
♪ WHEN THIS BOY MEETS WORLD ♪
HEY, HEY, YOU IN COLLEGE? I'M IN COLLEGE. WOO-HOO!
COLLEGE!
COLLEGE!
COR, COR, COR, CALM DOWN, OK?
NOBODY KNOWS US YET.
I DON'T WANT TO BE ESTABLISHED AS THE WOO-HOO BOYS.
OK, OK.
THIS IS US.
WAIT, SHAWN. WE CAN'T JUST GO IN THIS ROOM.
THIS IS BIG. YOU CAN'T JUST OPEN THIS DOOR.
COR, WE'RE NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE. THAT CRAP JUST HAS TO STOP.
IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
NO. NO. BEAUTIFUL'S NOT A STRONG ENOUGH WORD.
A BETTER WORD IS, LIKE...SUCKS.
GIMME A SPOON. I'M DIGGING A TUNNEL RIGHT NOW.
WOW.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU BROUGHT PUDDING TO COLLEGE!
HEY, I GOT ONE FOR YOU.
NO. SHH. SHH. SHH. LISTEN TO ME.
NO PUDDING. NO WOO-HOOING. OK?
YOU'RE RIGHT. WE'RE IN COLLEGE NOW, FELLA.
THIS IS A CHANCE TO REINVENT OURSELVES, RIGHT?
WE CAN BE ANYTHING WE WANT.
NO. NO REINVENTION, OK? YOU CAN BE YOURSELF,
JUST WITHOUT THE PUDDING.
BECAUSE I SWEAR ON MY MOTHER,
WHEREVER THE HELL SHE IS,
IF I GET TO BE KNOWN AS PUDDING BOY'S BEST FRIEND,
I WILL KILL YOU.
YOU CAN'T RUIN MY MOOD, SHAWN.
HEY, CORY.
THINK WHEN YOU BOLTED FROM THE CAR YELLING, "COLLEGE, COLLEGE,"
I THINK YOU FORGOT SOMETHING.
MY PUDDIN' TRUNK.
THIS IS EXCITING, ISN'T IT, COR?
MY LITTLE BOY IN COLLEGE.
GONE FOR 4 YEARS. BOY.
WELL...
WELL, HEY, THANKS FOR RAISING ME. SEE YA.
YEAH, COME ON, GUYS, LET'S GO. TIME IS MONEY.
SEE YA IN 4 YEARS.
I'LL MISS YA, MORGAN.
THAT'S NOT FAIR.
OHH.
OHH...
HA HA HA. COME HERE.
SHAWN?
AH, SURE. WHY NOT?
OH, YEAH.
OH, ALAN, I'M GONNA MISS MY BABY BOY.
MOM, YOU DIDN'T GET LIKE THIS FOR ERIC.
HE DOESN'T KNOW WE'RE HERE, DOES HE?
UH, LET'S GET OUTTA HERE.
SHAWNY, WE'RE--WE'RE HERE. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
YEAH. YEAH, IT IS PRETTY COOL.
HEY, LOOK, ANGELA, I FOUND US SOME COLLEGE GUYS.
SHE MEANS US.
WELL, THE 4 OF US ARE HERE AT PENNBROOK.
WELL, LET'S CHECK IT OUT.
CORY, REMEMBER, WE'RE IN COLLEGE NOW.
NOBODY KNOWS US. BE COOL.
RIGHT, YEAH. OK, LOOK, WE GOT HALLWAYS, ROOMS,
AND CO-ED BATHROOM.
OH, SEE, SHAWNY?
IN COLLEGE, GIRLS ARE NOT CALLED GIRLS.
THEY ARE CALLED "CO-EDS."
BOY, IS SHE BUTCH.
CORY, THE BATHROOM IS FOR MEN AND WOMEN.
AT THE SAME TIME.
JUST LIKE ON ALLY McBEAL.
[LIKE CARTMAN] "JUST LIKE ON ALLY McBEAL."
LET HER GO IN THERE!
CORY, IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
I'M GOIN' IN.
AW, COME ON.
I JUST GOT COMFORTABLE GOING IN FRONT OF GUYS!
REGISTRATION.
HERE IS WHERE WE MAKE THE DECISIONS
THAT WILL DETERMINE WHO WE ARE
AND WHAT WE KNOW
FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES.
OH, SHUT UP.
CORY, WE'RE FRESHMAN.
THERE'S REALLY NO BIG DECISION TO MAKE HERE.
IT'S ANYTHING THAT SAYS "101" OR "INTRO TO."
SURE, IF YOU WANNA GO THE SAFE WAY.
YOU SEE...
I WAS STUDYING MY COURSE GUIDE LAST NIGHT.
NOW, THE OLD CORY
WOULD'VE GONE DOWN THAT ROAD OF SAFE AND EASY COURSES,
BUT I REFUSE TO BE TRAMPLED BY THE MASSES
REGISTERING FOR A LITTLE COURSE I LIKE TO CALL
"INTRODUCTION TO MEDIOCRITY."
YOU DONE?
OK.
HEH HEH. CATTLE.
THIS LOOKS GOOD.
HEY, COME ON, WE GOTTA GET GOIN'.
YEAH, LET'S GET GOIN', RACHEL.
[SOBBING AND CRYING]
IDIOT! YOU MADE HER CRY.
RACHEL.
THAT'S WHAT MY BOYFRIEND USED TO CALL ME.
WHAT?
THERE'S GONNA BE PLENTY OF TIME
FOR THAT STROLL DOWN MEMORY LANE LATER, BABE.
I GOT TO GET THERE BEFORE
"HOOKED ON PHONICS" GETS FILLED UP.
ERIC, COME ON, MAN. CAN'T YA SEE SHE'S UPSET?
OBVIOUSLY, I DON'T HAVE YOUR POWER OF PERCEPTION.
WHAT?!
EVERYTHING!
OK. THAT'S GOOD. IT'S OUT. EVERYTHING'S OUT.
MOVE, MOVE, MOVE. LET'S GO.
I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING HERE.
WE HAD PLANS. WE WERE GONNA LIVE TOGETHER.
WE WERE GONNA GO TO COLLEGE TOGETHER.
WE WERE GONNA GET A DOGGY.
I KNOW. FEELS LIKE
YOUR WHOLE WORLD IS TURNED UPSIDE DOWN, RIGHT?
EW.
SCHOOL'S ABOUT TO START.
YOU'RE LIVING WITH 2 GUYS YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
IN SOME STRANGE TOWN.
EVERYTHING'S JUST KINDA HITTING YOU AT ONCE, RIGHT?
YOU KNOW, JACK, THAT IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL.
OH, YOU ARE SO SENSITIVE.
OH, THANKS.
I JUST WISH I HAD SOME WAY
TO PULL MYSELF OUT OF THIS, YOU KNOW?
I'VE GOT THE PERFECT THING.
ERIC, THIS IS NOT THE TIME.
NONSENSE, JACK. IT'S ALWAYS THE TIME FOR...
♪ IN A CABIN IN A WOOD ♪
♪ LITTLE MAN BY WINDOW STOOD ♪
♪ SAW A RABBIT HOPPING BY ♪
♪ KNOCKING AT THE DOOR ♪
ERIC!
♪ HELP ME, HELP ME, HELP ME, HE SAID ♪
♪ 'FORE THE HUNTER SHOOTS ME DEAD ♪
COME ON, JACK!
NO!
♪ WON'T YOU LET ME COME INSIDE? ♪
♪ KEEP ME SAFE FROM HARM ♪
HA HA HA!
OH, YOU ARE SO MUCH FUN.
YAY, ME.
AND YOU ARE SO CARING.
BOY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
IF YOU TWO WERE ONE GUY, I WOULD BE IN REAL TROUBLE.
HA HA HA... OH...OH.
ONE GUY.
NO.
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
YOU'RE ALREADY DONE REGISTERING?
YEAH. I--I REGISTERED,
I GOT MY BOOKS,
AND I BOUGHT EACH OF US A PENNBROOK SWEATSHIRT.
HUH?
GO, PENGUINS!
DON'T EVER DO THAT.
"QUANTUM PHYSICS...
"THEORETICAL CALCULUS...
INORGANIC CHEMISTRY..."
FORENSIC PATHOLOGY?
IS THIS YOUR SON, MR. JOHNSON?
OH, CORY, CORY, CORY, HOW DO I PUT THIS DELICATELY?
COULD YOU BE A BIGGER MORON?
WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME THAT? WHY?
BECAUSE YOUR COLLEGE CAREER IS OVER BEFORE IT STARTS.
HA HA. SOMEBODY'S JEALOUS.
CORY, YOU'VE TAKEN ON AN IMPOSSIBLE LOAD
THAT WILL EVENTUALLY CRUSH YOU TO DEATH.
I KNOW, BUT I FIGURE WE'LL HAVE 10 OR 12 GOOD YEARS TOGETHER FIRST.
HA HA! THAT'S A GOOD-- ALL I WANTED YOU TO DO IS STOP WITH THE PUDDING.
WHAT IS THIS? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT QUANTUM PHYSICS IS?
UM, HI...THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE GONNA TEACH ME.
IF I KNEW WHAT QUANTUM PHYSICS WAS,
I WOULD'VE TOOKEN QUANTUM PHYSICS 2, NOW, WOULDN'T I?
HAVE YOU LOOKED AT THIS? IT'S GIBBERISH.
IT'S NOT GIBBERISH. YOU'RE GIBBERISH.
IT'S NEW AND EXCITING, JUST LIKE ME.
SO NUTS TO YOU, YOU JERKS.
UH, EXCUSE ME THERE, PROFESSOR.
UM, MY FRIENDS SEEM TO THINK
THAT I'VE TAKEN ON AN IMPOSSIBLE LOAD WITH QUANTUM PHYSICS
AND I'M GONNA HAVE SOME TROUBLE UNDERSTANDING THE COURSE MATERIAL.
WELL, I COULD GIVE YOU A BRIEF SYNOPSIS,
AND YOU CAN DECIDE FOR YOURSELF.
ON THE FIRST DAY, WE START OFF WITH
[RATTLING OFF GIBBERISH SYLLABLES].
AND...THEN WE FOCUS ON...
[MORE GIBBERISH].
[RATTLING OFF GIBBERISH]
[RATTLING OFF GIBBERISH]
EXCUSE ME. WE HAVE A STAFF MEETING.
EVERYTHING'S FINE. [CHUCKLES]
AND I KNOW THAT THIS IS NOT ABOUT QUANTUM PHYSICS.
IT WAS JUST MY NERVOUS PSYCHE
THAT HEARD THE PROFESSOR SAY,
"[RATTLING OFF GIBBERISH]."
AND THAT DOESN'T SCARE ME FOR 2 SECONDS,
BUT IS THERE ANY WAY THAT YOU COULD POSSIBLY
GET ME OUT OF EVERY COURSE THAT I SIGNED UP FOR THIS YEAR?
YOU'RE FEELING OVERWHELMED.
YES.
WELL, YOU ARE NOT ALONE
IN FEELING THAT, SON.
YEAH, I'M...
I'M--I'M JUST WORRIED THAT I CAN'T DROP THESE COURSES
AND THAT, YOU KNOW, I'VE RUINED MY ENTIRE LIFE IN ONE DAY.
NONSENSE. YOU CAN DROP ANY COURSE YOU WANT,
AND YOU CAN PICK UP ANY COURSE THAT'S OPEN.
[SIGHS]
GOOD. I--I WANT EVERYTHING 101
OR ANYTHING THAT STARTS WITH "INTRODUCTION TO."
OH. THOSE ARE GONE.
YES, UM...I--I KNOW THAT THEY'RE GONE,
BUT I TOLD YOU, I MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.
NOW, WILL YOU PLEASE FIX IT?
OH, YOU WANT ME TO FIX THIS.
WELL, I CAN'T DO THAT.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I MEAN THOSE COURSES ARE CLOSED.
I KNOW THAT THEY'RE CLOSED, BUT I--I-- I TOLD YOU,
I MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE. I ACCEPT FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THAT.
NOW, WILL YOU PLEASE HELP ME?
SON, DID YOU KNOW THAT ONE IN 3 NEW STUDENTS
WON'T MAKE IT THROUGH THEIR FRESHMAN YEAR?
WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT?
BECAUSE COLLEGE ISN'T FOR EVERYONE, SON.
AND IF YOU FIND JUST SIMPLE COURSE SELECTION SO OVERWHELMING,
WELL, PERHAPS YOU NEED TO CONSIDER IF IT'S FOR YOU.
LOOK, YOU'RE MY GUIDANCE COUNSELOR.
I GET INTO TROUBLE, AND YOU GUIDE ME OUT.
THAT'S GONNA BE OUR RELATIONSHIP, YES?
THIS IS COLLEGE-- THE REAL WORLD.
THE RELATIONSHIP YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT? IT DOESN'T EXIST HERE.
I'M SORRY.
BUH-BYE.
YOU LIED TO ME.
YOU FILLED ME WITH ALL THIS EDUCATION.
BUT YOU NEVER PREPARED ME FOR LIFE.
I'M SORRY. HAVE WE MET?
YOU FAILED ME, MR. FEENY.
SEVERAL TIMES, I BELIEVE.
YOU DIDN'T PREPARE ME FOR COLLEGE.
YOU DIDN'T PREPARE ME FOR LIFE.
I'M IN WAY OVER MY HEAD, AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I GOT THERE.
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, MR. MATTHEWS.
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, MR. FEENY. THAT'S A NICE HAT.
YOU MEAN DOES ANYONE KNOW
I SCREWED UP COLLEGE ON MY FIRST DAY
AND FLEW TO WYOMING ON MY AIR MILES?
AIR MILES? WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE?
PUDDIN' LABELS, BABY. GOT ME TO OMAHA.
BUSED IN FROM THERE.
I MET A NATIVE AMERICAN AND A MILITIA GUY.
"CASINOS GOOD. GOVERNMENT BAD."
SO. HOW'S, UH... HOW'S RETIREMENT GOIN'?
OH, WELL, I'M HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME.
YEAH? WELL, WHAT'S SO GREAT? TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DAY.
WELL, AFTER SPENDING 40 YEARS AS A SCHOOLTEACHER
SETTING MY ALARM TO WAKE UP WITH THE SUN,
I NOW WAKE UP WHENEVER I WANT TO.
UH-HUH. UH-HUH.
AND THEN I HAVE A BIG BREAKFAST WITH SOME OF THE BOYS.
YOU GOT BOYS?
I DO.
AND THEN WE DO WHATEVER OUR HEARTS DESIRE.
FOR EXAMPLE, TODAY...WE DECIDED TO GO FISHING.
FISHING?
MM-HMM.
ALL DAY. THIS IS--
THIS IS--THAT'S ALL YOU DO ALL DAY IS JUST FISH?
WELL, THERE'S MORE TO IT THAN JUST FISH.
I MEAN, WE SWAP STORIES,
ENJOY THE OUTDOORS,
AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, EACH OTHER'S COMPANY.
I HAD A COMPANY ONCE...
UNTIL MY SON-IN-LAW STOLE IT.
EASY, NED. YOU'LL BLOW YOUR PACEMAKER.
SO, BASICALLY, MR. FEENY,
IF I'M UNDERSTANDING THIS CORRECTLY,
YOU GUYS... YOU DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
I WOULDN'T CHARACTERIZE IT--
NO, HE'S GOT IT.
NO PRESSURES, NO COMMITMENTS,
NO DECISIONS, AND... NO WAY TO SCREW UP ANYTHING AT ALL.
CORY, PERHAPS YOU'D BE GOOD ENOUGH TO EXPLAIN TO ME
WHY YOU TRAVELED ALL THIS DISTANCE
JUST TO INSULT ME.
INSULT YOU?! GEORGE, I ENVY YOU!
I MEAN, THIS IS THE NEXT BEST THING TO BEING IN A COMA!
HUH? HA HA HA!
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
OH, IT'S YOU. GET LOST.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
HEY, SHUT YOUR CAKE HOLE, IRENE. I'M SENSITIVE, ALL RIGHT?
RACHEL'S GONNA COME BACK HERE.
SHE'S GONNA SEE HOW SENSITIVE I AM, KNOW THAT I'M ALL MAN
AND NOT HALF MAN LIKE YOUR SORRY TUSHY.
CONGRATULATIONS, MAN. YOU'RE OFFICIALLY IN THE IDIOT HALL OF FAME.
THAT HURTS ME, BUT I UNDERSTAND WHERE IT'S COMING FROM,
AND IT'S OK.
ERIC, YOU'RE TRYING TO CHANGE WHO YOU ARE JUST TO GET HER TO LIKE YOU.
SHE'S GONNA SEE RIGHT THROUGH THAT, MAN.
NO, SHE'S NOT. SHE'S GONNA COME BACK AND FALL FOR ME
AND FALL DEEP INTO MY TRAP OF SENSITIVITY.
ALL RIGHT. AS YOUR FRIEND...
I'M BEGGING YOU NOT TO MAKE A FOOL OUT OF YOURSELF.
ALL RIGHT. AS A FRIEND...
I'M BEGGING YOU NOT TO MAKE A FOOL OUT OF YOURSELF.
HUH? HOW WAS THAT, MAN?
IT'S LIKE LOOKIN' IN A MIRROR, HUH?
IT'S FACE OFF!
[IMITATES LASER WHIRRING] EEEH!
ERIC, JACK. JACK, ERIC. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE ANYMORE. HA HA!
HEY, GUYS.
[FAKING CHOKING BACK SOBS] HELLO, RACHEL.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS]
ERIC, WHAT'S THE MATTER?
IT'S THE CHILDREN. IT'S THE...CHILDREN.
THE CHILDREN? WHAT CHILDREN?
ALL OF THEM. THEY'RE SO LITTLE. YOU JUST--
PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME GO ON.
'CAUSE THE WORLD IS A MELANCHOLY PLACE
WHERE.. HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS
MUST RISE TO THE FOREFRONT
OF OUR... TOO BRIEF EXPERIENCE
ON THIS INSIGNIFICANT SWIRLING BLUE ORB
UNTIL WE'RE EXTINGUISHED
LIKE A FLICKERING FLAME.
OW! DAT HOT.
OH, ERIC, THAT IS THE MOST SENSITIVE THING I'VE EVER HEARD.
WOULD YOU GO WITH ME TO DO LAUNDRY?
WHAT?!
I'M SORRY, JACK. I NEED TO BE ALONE WITH ERIC.
YOU DO?
SHE DO!
I FEEL YOUR PAIN, BUDDY, I DO, BUT GET OUTTA MY WAY.
WE'VE GOT TO ATTEND TO THE...DELICATES.
YES, WE DO.
SHE'S GONNA SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME, THOUGH, ISN'T SHE?
HA HA HA! DUDE, THIS IS HER BRA!
GET--
NICE DAY, HUH, WALTER?
YEP.
WHO'S UP FOR A MOVIE?
HMM?
THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD IDEA, GEORGE.
WHY DON'T WE WAIT TILL IT RAINS?
WHY CAN'T WE DO IT NOW?
WELL, WE'RE FISHING NOW.
FISH ARE REALLY JUMPIN'.
NO, THEY'RE NOT. I HAVEN'T SEEN A FISH SINCE I'VE BEEN HERE.
TAKE IT EASY, GEORGE.
WE'VE GOT THE REST OF OUR LIVES TO CATCH A FISH.
WALTER MAKES AN AWFUL LOT OF SENSE, GEORGE.
NO, HE DOESN'T. AND HIS NAME IS NOT WALTER.
IT'S CORY.
CORY IS TOO YOUNG A NAME TO BE HERE.
CORY'S TOO YOUNG TO BE HERE.
I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE HERE.
HA HA! GOOD ONE, GEORGE.
LOOK, MR. MATTHEWS, I HAVE INDULGED YOUR LITTLE FANTASY
FOR A WEEKEND HOPING THAT YOU WOULD COME TO YOUR SENSES,
BUT OBVIOUSLY, NO ONE HERE
COMES TO THEIR SENSES.
NOW, DON'T INSULT OUR WAY OF LIFE, GEORGE.
I'M SORRY, NED. I'M JUST NOT READY FOR YOUR WAY OF LIFE.
WE'LL MISS YOU, GEORGE.
BACK TO SCHOOL, WALTER.
YOU KNOW, RACHEL, I'M GLAD YOU NOTICED THE SENSITIVE SIDE OF ME
AS WELL AS THE DEVIL-MAY-CARE SIDE.
YOU HAVE IT ALL, ERIC... EVERYTHING A GIRL COULD WANT.
TH-TH-THANK YOU.
UH...WHY'D--WHY'D YOU LOCK THE DOOR?
WELL, IF IT WAS OPEN, THEN SOMEBODY COULD COME IN, COULDN'T THEY?
AND TH-THEN THEY'D TAKE ALL THE BEST MACHINES.
THAT'S GOOD THINKIN' THERE, RACHE.
HA HA HA! NO, NO, NO, SILLY. SEE, I BROUGHT YOU HERE
BECAUSE I'VE NEVER FOUND YOU MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN I DO RIGHT NOW.
WHEE!
I AM SO HOT.
ARE YOU?
YEAH. I'M HOT. THIS DRYER'S ON FLUFF.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
RA-RACHEL... WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? THIS SHIRT'S CLEAN.
I KNOW. I JUST WANT TO SHMUSH IT UP A LITTLE BIT.
SHMUSHING'S GOOD. I LIKE SHMUSHING. I THINK--
NO. NO. NO, NO, NO, NO. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
RACHEL, THIS IS WRONG.
OH, COME ON. WHAT'S THE MATTER, ERIC? DON'T YOU WANT ME?
YEAH--YEAH.
BUT--BUT NOT IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM.
I MEAN, I ALWAYS FIGURED THAT IF WE EVER DID DO THIS,
IT WOULD BE IN SOME ROMANTIC FLEABAG MOTEL.
HEY, IF YOU WENT TO ALL THE TROUBLE TO BE THE PERFECT MAN FOR ME,
THEN THE LEAST I COULD DO IS BE THE PERFECT WOMAN FOR YOU.
THIS ISN'T YOU.
I DON'T LIKE THIS YOU.
YOU DON'T?
THEN WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO BE?
SENSITIVE? FUNNY? A BRUNETTE?
I JUST WANT YOU TO BE YOURSELF!
I MEAN, IF YOU'RE NOT YOURSELF, THEN WHAT ARE YOU?
SOMEBODY ELSE.
RIGHT. AND IF YOU WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME,
THEN I WANT YOU TO BE THERE, NOT SOMEBODY EL--
OH, I GET IT.
AND I WANT YOU
TO BE THE FUNNY, WONDERFUL PERSON YOU ARE.
'CAUSE THAT'S HOW I LIKE YOU.
PROMISE ME YOU'RE NOT GONNA CHANGE, OK?
'K.
ONE CONDITION.
OK, ANYTHING.
PUT ME BACK ON THE DRYER.
OK.
ALL RIGHT. OOOOH! HEE HEE HEE HEE!
I UNDERSTAND YOU'VE DEDICATED YOUR LIFE TO TEACHING, MR. FEENY.
BUT THAT WAS AT THE HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL. THIS IS COLLEGE.
AS I UNDERSTAND IT, HIGH SCHOOL SERVES
TO PREPARE YOU FOR COLLEGE. AM I CORRECT?
WELL, THERE ARE 5,000 INCOMING FRESHMEN
WHO WERE ABLE TO REGISTER CORRECTLY. HE WASN'T.
PERHAPS HE WASN'T... ADEQUATELY PREPARED.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING, MYRON? OUT OF ALL MY NEPHEWS,
I HATE YOU THE MOST.
COME ON, CORY. THERE'S NOTHING TO BE DONE HERE.
MOTHER WILL BE CALLING YOU.
MR. FEENY, I'M--I'M SORRY.
I--I FEEL LIKE I FAILED YOU.
I GUESS I DIDN'T PREPARE YOU AS WELL AS I SHOULD.
MAYBE IT'S JUST AS WELL I RETIRED.
NO. NO. NO. MR. FEENY. THE THINGS--
THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS THAT I LEARNED FROM YOU
HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE COURSES
THAT I'M TAKING HERE IN COLLEGE, ANYWAY.
REALLY?
YEAH. I MEAN... WHAT I LEARNED FROM YOU
WAS MOSTLY ABOUT LIFE AND HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS
AND HOW TO HELP AND SUPPORT THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT.
THAT'S WHAT YOU TAUGHT ALL OF US.
HOW YOU DOIN', MR. FEENY?
HOWDY.
THANK YOU FOR BRINGING MY WALTER HOME.
HI.
LISTEN, I'D LOVE TO CHAT, BUT MR. FEENY AND I,
WE GOTTA START STUDYING FOR QUANTUM...
WHATEVER IT IS I SIGNED UP FOR.
HERE.
WHAT'S THIS?
IT'S YOUR SCHEDULE. YOU HAVE 2 CLASSES WITH ME
AND 3 WITH SHAWN.
I FIGURED YOU'D WANT IT THAT WAY.
I--I DON'T GET IT. HOW'D YOU DO THIS?
WELL, WE EACH SIGNED UP FOR AN EXTRA CLASS...
AND THEN WE DROPPED ONE...
AND SIGNED YOU UP INSTEAD.
AND THEN WE GOT YOUR BOOKS AND RETURNED THEM FOR THE RIGHT ONES.
YOU DID? HOW'D YOU KNOW TO DO THIS?
HEY. WE HAD THE SAME TEACHER YOU DID.
SO I'M READY TO START COLLEGE NOW?
I THINK YOU ARE, MR. MATTHEWS.
I THINK YOU ALL ARE.
NOW, YOU PROMISE ME
YOU'RE NOT GONNA CHANGE WHO YOU ARE?
VERY MUCH.
I DO HAVE A SENSITIVE SIDE, YOU KNOW.
I KNOW. CAN I HAVE MY BRA BACK, PLEASE?
NOPE.
YOU SEE? YOU ARE FUNNY.
AND NOBODY SHOULD CHANGE THE WAY THEY ARE.
[SQUEAKING BELL]
[HONKING HORN]
YEAH, LAUNDRY ROOM.
COME ON, JACK.
I'M GOIN' TO THE LAUNDRY ROOM.
NEXT TIME, ASK BEFORE YOU BORROW MY BIKE!