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Good morning everybody. How’s it going?
Good.
Good. Good.
I’ve got to do some serous thinking.
We have Black Friday and Cyber Monday coming up. We really need to get it togerther so
we can be ready to offer people the best online shopping experience and Cyber Monday deals?
I don’t know what to do about this anymore. Maybe I should have them watch the training
video again? No, no. That didn’t work last night. Oh! I know! I’ll call The Office
Trianer, whose slogan is, “No painer, no gainer!” Oh shoot, I’m late for my manicure.
What?
[phone rings]
Go!
Hay man, is this the office trainer?
Hold on, hold on. Let me ask you something punk? Do you believe in the philosophy “no
painer, no gainer?”
Yeah bro, I’m totally down with that. Look, like, we’ve got a serious issue here, like,
I can’t get these people in my office to do anything. Yeah, I know, it’s lame.
Well that’s easy, my business is lame. Wait, that didn’t sound right, taking care of
lame is my business.
Then I need your business.
Well, first of all, up front, I get two boxes of easy mac, mac and cheese.
Mmm hhm.
Three diet cokes.
Of course.
And all the donuts I can eat while I’m there. Can you handle that?
I’ll get you all the donuts I can find. Just come over, just I need you here now,
like right now.
Look for me on the fourth day, when the sun is rising in the west.
Awesome.
[running sounds] [hitting door sounds]
Fix that door. You Ben?
Yep.
I don’t shake hands, it’s not sanitary. These are the people I’m supposed to be
shaping up? This is the worst looking, vilinous, pathetic, incompetent bunch of soldiers I’ve
ever seen. Wait, I’m sorry, my bad, my mistake. What kind of a football team is this?
Actually, this is the office of an online truck accessory retailer.
Oh, oh that would make sense. That would explain this guy. Okay, not bad, not bad at all. Let
me ask you something maggot. Can you handle the philosophy “no painer, no gainer?”
Are you ready to be pushed to go to limits you didn’t even know you had. Can you handle
the truth? I don’t know what that even means. You will, you will.
I’ve got one thing left to do.
[Eye of the Tiger music and training montage]
[music and credits]
[bloopers]