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You know, when we think about microaggressions
um, it's not, like, the big, overt acts of racism--
that's not what we're talking about here-- or sexism, or heterosexism
or anything like that. It's more-- much more of the
subtle, um, abstract, daily utterances
that take place. We have naturalized certain phrases
that actually cause harm. So for example,
like, you know, "oh that's so gay," you know? That's a microaggression.
"You run like a girl," you know, something seemingly innocent--
at its heart is a denigration, right?
that there is something inferior or "less than."
I started this new job and I'd just completed my PhD
and this woman read, um, a portion of my dissertation
and she comes up to me, and she goes
"Wow, you speak and write such good English!
you know, what motivated you to,
to learn English? Um, and to, you know, give you that drive and commitment?"
It actually comes across as a compliment-- "You speak really good English."
But what is the assumption behind that? The assumption is
that someone with my body, with my shape of eyes, with the way I look
doesn't speak English.
There's this woman, she talks about like, the, the thousand little cuts-- you know,
that take place on a daily basis simply
from the things that people say-- and that is what a microaggression is.
Couching her, um, her racism in a compliment, that is a cut.
I, I just basically said, you know, um, I understand, you know
I know that you think that you saying
you know, "you speak really good English" is a compliment
but actually, um, it's, it's not
and the reason why it's not a compliment is because, you know, I'm actually
an American citizen-- and like, English is my first language
and you know, she was receptive to that. She apologized and,
and she was receptive to that. So for those who
are, um, are the microaggressors I would say, you know, one of the first things
um, to interrupt your, your
behavior, to interrupt
be open, to um, being wrong
to be quick to say "I'm sorry"
and, and being open to you being corrected
the second thing is to know yourself
reflect on who you are in this world
and the advantages and the disadvantages
that come from simply embodying the
the body that you are. And then the third is to
know others. I think about Jackie Alexander's quote
about the importance of becoming fluent in each other's histories
and narratives. That's a call of action
that I would say, you know, that we all need
to take up is to become fluent in each other's histories and narratives.
For those people who, um, are the victims of microaggressions
Um, the advice I guess I have for you to, to interrupt, or to
you know, and kind of to deal with it, you know, the first is
I guess, um, piece of advice is to, you know, speak up.
Often times silence is
consent, so if you don't speak up
the message you're giving is that it's okay. As uncomfortable
and as perhaps frustrating
and exhausting as it might be, um
you know, speak up when you hear something. But then at the same time, you can't--
it's exhausting to constantly speak up.
Pick your battles, you know? Think about if you're gonna speak up, you should
think about is this person
actually open? You have that sense you have that vibe, you know?
You know when people are open and when people are,
are closed off. And then the third is, you know, I would encourage you to
be generous.
To assume the best in people. And what I mean by that is
you know, most often when people say things, it's out of
sheer ignorance. And you can know when
something is malicious and when it's coming from ignorance, right?
Have an attitude of, you know, assuming that, that
The ignorance, you know in which they are saying
or uttering things is coming just simply from their lack of knowledge.
It all starts with the individual and if you remain
open, if you remain generous, and kind,
um, to others, then you can lead by example on, on how others
should been treating you.