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>> Positive communication with our children helps them develop
in a healthy way and strengthens our bond with them.
>> Parents can really kind of tune
in to what their kids are saying to kind
of build those communication skills,
help their children build language skills, and by saying,
you know, what are -- what did you say,
and repeating back what the kids said and reflecting
on that emotion that kids are expressing.
>> There are four steps
for communicating positively with your child.
Step One, praise.
Use praise to help your child know what you'd like them to do.
Be clear and specific with your praise.
Instead of good job, say good job putting away your toys.
>> Great job putting your toys away, Jenny.
It's very, very important as a parent to be conscious as much
as possible of what your kids are doing; that you're checking
in on them enough; that there's opportunities
to acknowledge what they're doing that it's good.
>> Step Two, imitation.
You can copy or imitate the things your child is doing
that you want them to keep doing.
This shows your child that you are paying attention to them
and interested in what they are doing.
When copying and imitating,
make sure you do the things the way your child does.
Do not try to do things better or faster than your child.
>> Then they see that you've recognized
that they're doing something that you're also doing.
Wow. Mommy likes that.
Mommy likes to play with my dolls too.
So that must be something good that I'm doing.
I'm going to do that again in the future.
>> Step Three, description.
Describing or talking about what your child is doing while they
play shows your child you are noticing their good behavior.
You can act like a sportscaster
who is telling people what is happening in a game.
You are putting the red block on the green block
and making a tall tower.
Step Four, active listening.
Giving your child your full attention when you are playing
and talking with them can help build your relationship.
At least once a day try to really focus
on being with your child.
Try to decrease distractions, like cell phones,
so you can give her your full attention.
One way to actively listen is to talk
about what your child is doing
or to repeat what your child says.
You can also add more detail
to encourage them to talk to you more.
For example, your child may say I colored it,
but with active listening you may add to that and say yes,
you colored her dress blue and red.
Active listening can also help children name their feelings.
For example, if your child is crying and says she's not happy,
you may say you seem unhappy and sad.
Playtime is a great time to practice praise, imitation,
description and active listening.
You can also use these skills any time you are
with your child; at dinner, in the car, and when giving a bath.