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Paul: Hello, good evening!
Dave: Good evening, is this Paul?
Paul: It is!
Dave: Hello Paul, It's David speaking, I'm looking at the Gumtree 6 metre whip, whip, whip, whip...
Paul: Yes?
Dave: I've got a, bit of a, bit of a bit of a lag down here. My phone is a bit broken, it repeats some of the words
Dave: Erm, erm, erm... I'm looking at the whip any way, how much is that?
Paul: Erm, I can't remember... what does it say on the advert?
Dave: 10 Pounds
Paul: 10 pounds, It's yours for 10 pounds.
Dave: We'll go down for 9?
Dave: 9 quid?
Paul: If you come up and get it, it's yours for 9 quid!
Dave: 8 quid?
Paul: 9 quid... 11 quid!
Dave: 11?!
Paul: Yeah, you're going down, I'm going up!
Dave: We'll go for 9!
Paul: Yeah? when do you want to come and get it?
Dave: Erm... now?
Paul: Its a bit late, where are you?
Dave: Same as you, Clevedon!
Paul: Are you?!
Dave: Yeah, yeah!
Paul: Yeah you can come and pick it up now if you want
Dave: Is that all right?
Paul: Yeah *Gives address*
Paul: Do you know where that is?
Dave: Yeah got that, my cousin lives down there he's a murderer!
Paul: Oh does he?
Paul:Yeah come down now, our house is a tip because we've just literally moved in today
Dave: All right, well tidy it before I come, and I'll come...
Dave: Erm, I'm actually going to use it on my wife
Dave: Is it a whip that you can use as in, any whip... or what?
Paul: Just come and have a look at it... quick!
Dave: Right... oh why has it got to be quick?
Paul: Because I've got to go and pick the cats up, ha... from where we've just moved out from!
Dave: Right, no worries about that I'll come tomorrow!
Paul: Okay that would be fine!
Dave: Is that all right? Is that better?
Paul: Yeah, that will be much better.
Paul: In the afternoon would be better for me if possible because we've just moved in.
Dave: That's no worries then!
Paul: Yeah, all right!
Dave: Alright, er... wait 6 metre, It actually says on your advert 80 metres long
Paul: 80?!
Dave: 80 yeah, I don't know where that's come from.
Paul: Yeah well it's not 80!
Dave: Nah, I didn't think so.
Paul: You're welcome to come down now if you like but you'll have to come down straight away.
Dave: Erm...
Dave: Er...
Dave: Erm...
Paul: Where about's in Clevedon are you?
Dave: Erm... I'm thinking about, I don't know whether to come down today or tomorrow.
Paul: Are you walking or driving?
Dave: Erm, I'll come down tomorrow!
Paul: Right.
Dave: I'll drive down obviously like.
Paul: Okay.
Dave: Okay, Paul!
Paul: Give us a ring before you come down all right? because I'm meeting a mate.
Dave: No worries!
Paul: All right, well I'll speak to you tomorrow then.
Dave: No you won't.
Paul: You won't?
Dave: No you won't speak to me tomorrow, I'll just come straight down.
Paul: Okay, but if I'm not here...
Dave: I'll just wait outside the house if you're not there!
Dave: Is it okay if you like... leave it inside and I'll just walk in and get it?
Paul: Say that again?
Dave: Could you like, leave it inside and I'll walk in and get it, and leave the money on the side or something?
Paul: No, I don't think so, mate!
Dave: Is that not, Is that not a very good idea, no?
Paul: No mate!
Dave: Nahh.
Paul: No, can't do that.
Dave: Can't, no.
Paul: Where are you?
Paul: You tell me where you are and I'll drop it off to you right now
Paul: Because I'm just about to go and get the cats.
Dave: Are you sure?
Paul: Yep.
Dave: Okay, I'm in China!
Paul: All right, okay... cya!
Dave: Cya!
*Paul hangs up the phone*
Paul: Hello?
Dave: Hello!
Paul: Yep?
Dave: It's Dave calling I'm looking about the item on GumTree.
Paul: You're looking at what?
Dave: The item on GumTree.
Paul: Yeah, what items that?
Dave: Er, your erm... your whip!
Paul: Dave... what do you want?!
Paul: You rang me earlier...
Theodore: No n no, this Is Theodore!
Paul: Look, shut up... clear off!
Paul: If you phone me again, I have got your number so clear off!
Theodore: No, why are you saying this?
Paul: Clear off you dipstick, you're a wally!
Paul: Winding people up, what's the matter with you?
Paul: You not got thing's better to do?
Theodore: Have you got, have you got any thing better to do?
Paul: Yeah I have, clear off!
Theodore: What, what have you got to do then?
*Paul hangs up the phone again*
Paul: Is that Theodore or Dave?
Robin: Hello?
Paul: What do you want?
Robin: Hello, It's Robin
Robin: I've been looking on GumTree at your whip!
Paul: What do you want?
Robin: Your whip.
Paul: Yes, tell me what you want?
Robin: Your whip!
Paul: Yes the whip is not available... okay?
Paul: The whip is gone, okay? Kapoot... Kapeesh!
Robin: Where has it gone?
Paul: It. Has. Gone!
Paul: Do not ring me again!
Robin: No but...
Paul: GO AWAY!
Robin: No sorry, wait sir!
Paul: GO AWAY, YOU DIPSTICK!
*'Dave' makes random noise*
Paul: Clear off
Random Indian: I'm going to *** your wife!
*Paul hangs up... again*