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Um, so anyway I thought
maybe in the course of three hours I might be able to slip a
couple minutes dialogue of my own in but no, no because every time I get up
those damn blabbermouths start talking
to each other like I'm not even there!
Trying to tell my tiny little segment
It's supposed to be
a family affair apparently I'm not inf the family. I don't get to talk.
No wonder my wife doesn't talk. I have depression.
You know why I have depression?
I didn't have depression until something happened.
You know what it was, waaahhh, waaahhh
Change my filthy, dirty, stinking diaper.
If that's not enough to depress you, I don't
know what is. You know what, then they grow up to be a herd of
freakin' cows and bulls!
You know what? Hey Mom?
"How many bales do I get tonight for dinner?"
Hey, he gets more bales then me! I want my bales! I want my bales! I want my bales!
and I have to sit there, listening to this insanity!
Good grief, one day my poor wife
tried to sneak a Hershey bar in for herself
(laughter)
I think it's wrong when children knock their mother on the floor
and then fight over a Hershey Bar while she roles around
in pain! It's not right!
Besides that I payed for that ***' Hershey bar! I should have got some of it!
The other night (laughter) I got home late from work
you know, my wife
bless her soul fixed special food for me
pork chops with rice and gravy
one of my favorites, and she said don't worry
I've hidden it.
There's,
and there's no way
those little parasites can find it. I've got it
hidden for you!
I had to work several hours, I was famished when I got home.
...Have you ever seen those
pictures of maggots swarming all over something?
All you can see is maggots. You know underneath is something those
maggots really wanna eat and that's what I saw...
FOUR MAGGOTS!
All over
my pork chops with rice and gravy!
I saw it when I came through the door. Before I was able to get into the kitchen, it was gone!
And the little, little *** looked up at me with their
gorged faces and said
"Hi Daddy, Mom got some salad for you in the refrigerator.
I hate salad! Hate it and they know it!
So I thought, well I'll get some ice cream out of the freezer.
At least I can have some ice cream.
How much ice cream do you think you can get out of an empty gallon of ice cream
container? How much? I have been reduced
to swirling my fingers around the empty container, trying
to get a little ice cream for myself!
But you know why I can't get any for myself?
You ever seen one of those fish
they call algae eaters? How they just go
all over the outside of the aquarium
with their little, their big ugly sucker mouths
Sucking! Sucking! Sucking! Sucking,
everything off the glass of the aquarium!
And then that's what it's like for me when I come home and wanna have a damn snack!
I open the refrigerator, what do I find? Bones,
crumbs, empty milk cartons!
So...
Is it any wonder I have depression? Any wonder?
I asked my son one time, could you please
go out in the garage