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Good morning, good afternoon,
or good evening everyone.
Max Simon here,
welcome to Enlightened Business Radio.
This is our new radio show
that is all about addressing the questions
in business and even in life
that you're oftentimes dying to know
but afraid to ask.
Now, a few things before
we get started again.
You can get access to the show
and also to the dialogue and ability
to comment on
enlightenedbusinessradio.com
when you go to that website,
englightedbusinessradio.com and
you enter your name and email,
you'll get access to a page that has
the ability to stream this show live
when we are live.
As well as to post your comments
and questions which I check when
Jeffrey Van Dyk is here with me,
we check throughout the show.
As well as, you can get access
to the archives where we publish
these radio shows for free on
iTunes and in fact, I'll say this
before we dive in today.
For those of you who
do not know this, it's my birthday
coming up very soon in the
next week or so and what I'm
asking for besides your great wishes
is actually to go to iTunes,
to look up Enlightened Business Radio
on iTunes and again you can
get there through the
englightenedbusinessradio.com
website and you know,
get the episodes, download them,
enjoy them, and then most specifically
leave your comments
or your rating on iTunes.
That really helps us out if you're
enjoying these shows to go
leave a positive five star
rating on iTunes.
So, if you're willing to give me
a birthday present in exchange for us
delivering these shows for you,
we would be very grateful.
I would be very grateful,
it would make me very happy.
So, welcome to the show.
And today, Jeffrey Van Dyk,
my co-partner is not here with me today.
Actually, it was just his birthday
as well so it's going to be a
present to both of us if you're
going to give us a positive comment
but he's out frolicking with his
family and today's theme is,
what is it that is really holding
you back in your business?
And I don't mean, you know,
just like "oh, I'm just afraid"
or "oh, it is money" or
"oh, it's the fact that I
don't have the right strategy."
You know, that stuff might
be holding you back,
it's very possible.
But I'm talking about what's
really holding you back.
I'm talking about what's really
going on underneath the surface
that you are likely not even aware of.
That's the tricky part.
The stuff that you're likely not
even aware of that's holding
you back and what we want
to do today is not only have a
real raw dialogue about that.
Some of those things I think
will be incredibly interesting
for you to hear what's really
going on but now also,
we're having a little bit of
technical challenge but I'm hoping
that we can bring on
at least one potentially two
or three members of the tribe
to have a dialogue about
some of these things
to see in real world,
real life, how to uncover what's
really holding you back.
Now why do I keep saying it
this way of uncovering
and you're not really aware of it?
It's because here is the interesting thing.
You know, most of the time,
day in and day out we're you know,
asking questions like
"how do I grow my business?"
"How do I make more money?"
Or we're saying things like
"I don't know what to do,
other people are more
successful than me" or
"I'm not figuring this out,
it's not going to work."
And we might think that that's
the reason why we are not
achieving the results we want.
But the reality is,
there's something happening underneath
all of that dialogue and all underneath
that conversation that's fueling your life
and your business and your desire
to be successful that most people
are not even aware of.
And you know, I've been a
meditator for a long time and it's only
recently through some of the
work I've done, whether it's through
different seminars or different teachers
and mentors that I've gotten
to a place of unveiling what's really
been holding me back.
So we'll start there,
so you can understand this is not
something I'm separate from
or above or below.
This is something that's been
very clear for me and you see,
what's become really apparent
to me recently is that, you know,
throughout life and particularly
when we're young, especially as children.
We have experiences with our parents,
we have experiences when we're
growing up and oftentimes before
we're even kind of our own
independent beings and when we're
this young we have these experiences
whether either traumatic or even,
you know, usually traumatic though,
quite frankly.
And somewhere at that point,
we make a decision and those
decisions are things like
"I am never going to
stop pushing hard"
or we make the decision
"I am always going to be that
person that works harder
than everyone else" or
you make that decision like myself,
the decision I made which I only
recently became aware of,
that sound kind of funny
to all of you now,
is I made a decision that I
always have to stand out.
I always have to be the
person that stands out.
And where did I make that decision?
Well, because twofold.
One, my father was,
growing up was very busy
and always on the road
and always speaking and training.
He was very, you know,
very effective in the world
and of course in a lot of ways
that's a beautiful thing but
what he wasn't was very present
when I was at home and when
he was with me at home,
what was often happening is
he was being very critical
and you know, I wasn't doing
my homework the right way.
I wasn't getting good
enough grades, I wasn't,
something like that
and you know, some cases were
harsher than others
but as an adult, you look back
on those experiences
and you think, well of course,
you know, that's what you
do when you're a parent.
You talk to your child about
being better and you talk
to your whatever and,
you know, as an adult,
it doesn't seem like that
big of a deal but recently
I've been doing some work
to experience what it was like
when I was a little kid.
What it was like when I was young,
to have those experiences
and when I was young,
I took it very personally.
I took it as a deep insult
on my sense of self and my identity.
And I made this unconscious decision,
very early on that whatever I did,
I would always make sure that
I stood out because I wasn't
standing out when I was at home.
And of course on the flip side,
I was watching my father stand out.
Watching my father, you know,
be this person that always
stood out and I said
"well I'm not that right now
and so I'm going
to become that"
and it's both modeling what
your parents have done
but it's also running away
from this pain and this feeling
of hurt that we often had
when we were little kids
and what I've realized recently
and especially in the mentorship
and the work that I've been
doing with people is that
at some way shape of form,
the adult that we are today
is always doing one of two things.
Either it's overcompensating for
some hurt that we had early on,
something that felt really painful
when we were young or it is
trying to model or be a
representative of what we thought
was a positive role model
from our parents.
So right now even
as I'm saying this,
let's make it really personal to you.
I want you to just look at
for a moment the,
what's the right way of saying this?
I want you to look at the way
in which you operate.
So, look at how hard you work.
Look at what you think around money.
Look at how you look at yourself
in contrast to other people.
Look at your view of success
and I want you to just
for a moment to contemplate.
Is this very similar to the way
that your parents looked at the world?
Does it mirror the way that
they were likely looking at reality?
Or, is it an exact rebellion
from what they were?
You know so again,
I'll say another thing,
my mother is an incredibly beautiful,
loving person that I just adore
and one of the things I realize
recently was that my father
was the one that was really
like success-driven, is success-oriented.
My mom was more family-driven
and at the time because I didn't
adopt her quality of getting
love from my family.
I adopted more of the quality
of getting love from success.
There was a part of me
that I consciously said
"I'm never going to be
like my mother that's just
focused on love and family.
I'm going to be focused
on my business" and you know,
again, this was not a conscious
decision and I'm not trying to
judge anyone at any decision
they make but I recently
became aware of the fact that
one of the other reasons why
I have always been so driven is
that I've been rebelling against
the way my mom was.
That I was rebelling against
her lack of success orientation,
the lack of drive which has
nothing wrong with that,
you know, but I was rebelling.
And as I've started to become
aware of these patterns and these
ways of operating in myself I've
realized that so much of the time
in my life even I haven't been
operating from a place that is
most authentic and most true,
most aligned with the person
I want to be and as I start
to have these dialogues
with other people,
I actually see the exact same patterns.
I see that most of the things that
we are doing today are either
an adoption of the way
our parents were.
An adoption of our parents as viewpoint
in the world or they are a rebellion.
They are something that
we are rebelling against.
So, to start off I would
actually love to hear from you.
If you can comment in the
comment section again on
enlightenedbusinessradio.com
at least once you enter your name
and your email address
and get into the show page.
Are you aware, just in the short
dialogue of something that you do?
One pattern, one way of operating,
one way of looking at world
that's either just like
one of your parents and spell out
who it is or that you can actually
see that it's a rebellion from
one of your other parents.
That there's something that you
decided to be the exact opposite
of which in some sense is
still actually like taking in your parents
because your pushing all this energy
to be very different and very unique
rather than to find what's true for you.
You know, rebellion is just like
"oh I'm not going to be that,
I'm going to be the opposite of that"
but that may actually not be
what's true to you, you know,
who you really are,
what's most alive in you.
And so that's actually you know,
sometimes it's hard to see this
and it's also hard to see how
this influences our life.
How this influences our business
and as an example for me,
as I've been realizing this,
you know, one of the patterns,
one of the many is this need
to standout, this need to be seen,
this need to be recognized
as the center of attention.
And how is that negatively
impacting my life?
Well, you know, in an industry
that's about being an authority,
you might think,
well that's a very positive thing
and it makes you bold.
It makes you be, you know,
it makes you standout in the world
and it is a positive quality to that
but the negative quality of that,
the negative quality of always
needing to be seen is sometimes
that interferes with actually
what's most effective.
That interferes with what's most strategic.
That interferes with ways that
you could collaborate that might
actually provide better and
bigger results and as I look at that
I can look back now on my business
career and see all sorts of
missed opportunities,
all sorts of ways that my unconscious
desire to be the center of attention
has actually cost me hundreds
of thousands or millions of dollars
and great opportunities because
in my mind if, and again,
this all happening unconsciously but
if it's not going to be about
me then I don't want to do it.
And so as you start to become
aware of those patterns you can
then make decisions based upon
really what's most true and
what's most aligned for you.
So, one of the surprises,
I have many today to share
with you but one of the surprises
I wanted to do is to actually speak
to a few members of the tribe
and have this dialogue to unveil it.
Not only so that you can hear
and see how this is playing out
but how also you can see
how much power there is in
bringing awareness to this
particular conversation and figuring out
where you authentically land versus
where you've actually just been
operating out of this very
conditioned to patterns that we
adopted from early on.
So, Mackie are you there?
Are you able to speak with me
about this very real concept?
Mackie: Sure! Can you hear me?
Max: I can hear you loud and clear.
Thank you for joining me and us.
Welcome to the show,
very glad to have you here. So
Mackie: So, go ahead.
I'll follow your lead.
Max: Yeah. So first,
what's your business?
Let's start there so we can
get a gauge of how
this has been playing out.
Mackie: Well, I am in the process
of still clarifying it, defining it,
and going through the exercises
from your training, the early modules.
Max: Okay.
Mackie: But I would say first
to put an easily understood
label on it, be sort of like coaching.
Max: Okay.
Mackie: Helping people move through,
you know, really deep
transformational shifts.
Max: Alright, good, so you know
one of the things that I always
notice about well anybody that's
starting their own business is
that in the beginning, you know,
you get into this figure-it-out phase
and this experimental phase is
which again isn't a bad thing
but there's also usually certain
amount of programming.
There's a certain condition
that's happening in your mind,
usually unconsciously that's
preventing you from experiencing
almost immediate clarity
and immediate results.
So, that might sound a little
confusing to you because
you're the one that's in it
but let me show you what I mean.
So you say you're trying to
figure it out and if I was to
just tell you for a moment to put
aside all of the feeling of whether
this is right or wrong for the business
or whether or not this is something
that's going to be profitable or lucrative.
If you were to tell me what
the level of uncertainty,
what would you believe
you're here to do for people,
what would you say?
Mackie: Okay, I am a way-shower
in that through my own experiences
and the lessons I've learned
and how I move my life presently,
I find that people are inspired
to examine their own lives
and find their own path and I,
filling here to hold space perhaps
give some guidance and really,
primarily an inspiration and to
provide a different perspective.
So, you know the stories about
how we understand our lives
and what happens.
I won't say lives that sound so broad.
I mean, let's just start to where
what happened today, right?
Whatever story that is,
and is one that builds you up
or holds you back?
So the way that I think seems
to be a little different from others
and it has an uplifting quality
so that's what I think I'm here for.
Does that make sense?
Max: It does.
So, let me ask you this question.
So here is what I'm
hearing underneath this.
There's a part of you that sounds
a little afraid to claim the
boldness of that, right?
And that's why you use words like
"I'm here to just be an inspiration"
or "I'm here to hold
space for people"
and there's a lack of certainty
and a lack of boldness in that
and so let's go deeper.
So that's what I'm picking up
on in this dialogue.
So let me ask you this question
then so you can start to bring
this attention to this.
Talk to me for a moment
about mom or dad.
Was mom, were they both
in your life growing up?
Mackie: Yes.
Max: And did you have a
relationship with both of them?
Mackie: Yes.
Max: Okay. So, was mom,
let's talk about each
of them for moment.
Was mom bold or really soft?
Mackie: Mom does not have
a clear soft identity
and so I'd probably say soft
and kind of yeah,
not really present.
Max: Yeah, okay, good.
And then dad, hard or soft?
Mackie: Definitely more hard,
bold, present, visible.
Max: Right. Okay. Good.
So this is where the push-pull
oftentimes starts, right?
Because, what usually happens
is on one side we have
one parent who's demonstrated
something that we may
or may not like but it gives us
value in certain ways and doesn't
give us value and then we have
another parent who demonstrate
something that again has some
value and has some not value to it.
So here we have and this is my
experience in this whole industry.
Your case is not uncommon.
You have people who have this
kind of blend of genuine heartfelt
desire with that intention,
oh sorry, genuine heartfelt
kind of caring with the desire
to be bold but actually not
following squarely on either side
which is can be fine but it can
also just make it sound kind of
mushy because on one side,
I don't want to be too strong like
my father but I don't want to be
too soft like my mother.
So now I'm just in limbo.
Can you see what I'm saying?
Mackie: Yes, I can.
I'm not sure...I agree with you
about not fully standing in
and owning and therefore
being more bold about it.
I think it's, I know exactly what my...
that deep underline need is
you said yours was to standout.
Max: Yeah.
Mackie: And mine is to be
understood.
Max: Uhuh.
Mackie: And that really holds me back
because I overanalyze and think
and I wonder if I am really
communicating the clearest and
simplest message in service,
you know, because I'm always
thinking about myself
and whether I'm at service or not.
Max: Right, of course.
So, again if we take it back,
so why did you form this thread
of wanting to be understood?
Mackie: Because I wasn't seen.
Max: By?
Mackie: I was insignificant
in the sense that I had a very,
a father who was very self-involved
and then a mother who was
emotionally irresponsible and
so I was kind of... and I'm an
only child and I had no
reality check on anything.
So, yeah it's sort of this...
I didn't really matter.
Both, each individual parent
had their own set of issues
and dramas going on
and I took on a lot of responsibility
between the two of them
because they weren't there
for me as parents.
I couldn't rely on them.
Max: Right, so there's this threat
this whole time which is kind of like,
I'm not understood.
I'm misunderstood,
am I being understood?
I want to be understood
and as result of that, you know,
the truth is you've probably been
saying that to yourself for decades,
consciously or unconsciously.
And the great thing about this
particular dialogue is one,
when you can like identify it
and this is the great thing
actually I'd love for everybody
to do right now on the phone
is recognize what is that thing that
you've been consciously or unconsciously,
usually it's unconscious,
so I'd like to ask you how you even
came up, got to the point
where you could say
"I'm misunderstood"
of identifying it.
And once you can start to identify it,
you can also start to realize is,
and just so beautifully said,
it's been holding me back.
It's been holding me back.
If you were to articulate it,
and here's the second part of it
to actually put a voice to how
and why it's been holding you back.
So, if you were to put a
voice to it with a level of courage
to just be really direct and honest,
how has this desire to be understood
as the primary driver of your being,
how has that actually been
hurting your life?
Mackie: That's your next question?
Max: Yup.
Mackie: Okay, in a couple of ways.
One, I tend to reiterate things
which makes me a bore
or just people are like
"Mackie, chill out" right?
So, I'll go over and over again
on seeking assurance that
I had been understood in a way
that I wish to be.
So that's one thing and that can
lose people quickly because
that's really about me, right?
Another way is it's kind of
related to a pursuit of I guess
perfection and sort of me
working my communication materials
over and over again,
again so that really what I should
do is just throw that thing go
"Hey, did you get
what I'm saying?
This is what I meant"
and then get the feed bad
but then sometimes I won't
and I'll keep it to myself.
So that's another way
and those are very tangible ways
I think of how it holds me back
and the third one is an
intensity I guess,
sort of a forcefulness of not letting...
I've had to learn to respect that
people have certain bandwidth
for this sort of deeper connection
and processing and not every minute
there's a time and a place
and in the past I've really been
willful about pushing through
on my agenda to be understood.
And I have learned and continued to
as I open my circles to more people
that to respect the boundaries of others.
Max: Right, yeah.
But you can even feel that kind of,
there's a real push-pull in
that too for you, right.
Because you can almost hear that
in your voice of kind of like
"I'm not understood by this
people so I'm going to
pull myself back.
I'm going to find a way that
fits into what's comfortable for them"
and, you know,
it's a form of muting.
I'm very aware of this because
I've been actually aware
of how much I've muted myself
over the years as well.
And so here's what's
fascinating about all this.
When my hope is that,
first everyone who's also listening
on the line right now is going
through their own process of
uncovering at the moment.
One, what is this core,
you can call it a story,
but you can also call it a decision.
You know, for you,
your decision is my decision is
to always focus on
trying to be understood.
I'm going to make being understood
a priority of mine.
The decision I've made is
I'm going to make standing out
to be a priority of mine,
in my relationships,
in my business,
in my work.
What is that core decision
that was made as usually
a rebellion from our parents
and the second thing is to
really start to look at not
just the surface level.
So when I mean the surface level is,
you know surface level is
I can see how I'm stopping
and starting projects.
That's really clear in terms of circumstance.
A deeper thing of stopping
and starting projects is
I'm never allowing myself
to be successful.
I'm never allowing myself
to share my gifts with the world.
That's the underline
deeper sense of actual pain
because starting and stopping
while it's annoying,
is not actually very painful
but when we look at the
repercussions of what these things mean,
what we're really saying in
honesty of it all.
It usually feels pretty intense
and what I've been noticing is that
for better or worse and it is for
better but you must be
willing to do it.
Part of the key process of real
transformation is to deeply
and fully acknowledge how much
the current way of being is painful.
Really feel it and acknowledge it
because I've always had the same
but now it's more prevalent
than ever which is we don't
change until we suffer enough.
And most people are not allowing
themselves to suffer enough
even though they're
craving change, right?
So, as you've been talking
through this, I can feel
the energy that you're in
and it's kind of like,
it almost feels a little like a
two by four when you
start to see it more clearly, right?
Mackie: In what way,
like being whacked?
I don't understand.
What do you mean it feels like
a two by four? Heavy?
Max: Yeah, well it feels like
something'*** you in the face
of just like "ugh."
You know, for me,
at least I could see when I
really acknowledged how this need
to stand out has been hurting
my life in all these different ways.
I felt really sad,
that's the truth of it all.
Like I allowed myself to feel really,
really sad looking at how
this experience that I'm having is
based in almost an unconscious
desire to prove something
that's not even that actually
important to me today.
And that's what I find so
interesting about these things,
like let me ask you if
this is true for you as well.
Is it Mockie or Mackie?
Mackie: Either, that's good.
Okay, yeah.
Max: So, let me ask you
if this is true for you.
When you really look right
this moment at your desire
to be heard or your desire
to be understood, does that
authentically fall the top
of your list of what feels
important to you?
Mackie: No, I recognize it
as kind of like a child need of mine.
It's that part of me that now
I've brought it to consciousness,
I can recognize it as such
and so the other part of me
that wants to create
and to show up in the world boldly,
I've separated the two because
it is now in my awareness consciously,
right?
Max: And what you just said
is the perfect words, it's childish.
Like I was talking to another client,
a high-end client yesterday
and he was saying
"I have this tendency to always
try to push people harder,
to push them to get results
and it doesn't feel very good
to me and it doesn't actually
even feel very good to them
but I can't find myself
stopping doing it."
And I said,
"Have you ever contemplated
that it's actually just that
little boy in you that's rebelling?
Like, go harder, push harder."
And, you know,
it's like the moment I said it
and you even said it too,
it's kind of like,
"yeah it's really childish."
It's like that child-like part of us
that's screaming for our attention
and so, let me ask you
this question, Mackie because
I'll share with you what I do.
So, how do you handle that?
So now you can say that you're
aware of this part of you
that's childish and you're aware
of this part of you that's new,
how are you handling that thing?
What are you doing to make sure
that both parts are being fed
with the right amount of love?
Mackie: I like that last part,
that both are fed with
the right amount of love.
Well simply something like you said,
that it's not really that
important today in this moment
that the ability to recognize
that and literally pull that sentence out.
I just wrote it down, you said it.
I wrote it down and I find this
great power in taking something
you like and writing it and having it
visible as a queue,
a visual queue, right?
So, that's a way and those
specific words and just reprogramming
my mind to start to automatically
think in that way that
"hey, the emphasis is not on
I need to be heard.
Like, I'm striving through this
and that in the child side."
But the adults say,
"okay I know that's there"
but really in the big picture
and I'm capable of acknowledging it
and valuing this now
that it's not that important
and I can attend to that.
Right? So that's one thing.
Max: Yeah, so that's good.
Let me give you a completely
different approach altogether.
Mackie: Okay.
Max: You know, here's one of the
things that's fascinating about adults.
Is that we have put all of our
emphasis and our focus on
being adults now,
being responsible people.
Being successful people,
being accomplished people,
being bold people.
And yet I think when we
get down to it,
we're all aware of the fact
that there is this kind of rebellious
emotional sensitive little person
inside of us that's screaming
for attention.
So there's a part of you
that is screaming,
I want to be heard,
I want to be understood.
And yet your solution which is like
all of your solutions is to say
"Yeah, I get you but here's the deal."
Which is not really actually
giving it what it wants.
And so the alternative approach is to
actually allow yourself to give it a voice.
Allow yourself to let it be heard.
So for me, when I start to
feel it flare up, you're like
"Oh, I hear this part of myself
that's wanting to be see.
How do you want to be seen?"
Great let's have a little dialogue
and it sounds kind of funny,
but I'll have a conversation with myself.
Alright, so you're wanting
to be seen like you're...
I'll give you a really funny example.
This is kind of embarrassing
but I'll let it out.
So, I've started doing this
dialoguing with all parts of myself.
There's this little emotional child,
you have a body,
you have a spirit,
you have intellect.
You have all these different parts
of yourself and what most people
don't realize is that all of them
have means and have an
expression that's trying to be heard so...
This is so embarrassing but I guess
I'll just say it.
I had a streak when I was a teenager
where I was really kind of a
heavy partier and I drank a lot
and I did a lot of drugs
and I was really into to this
kind of dark scene and then
I got into this very spiritual scene
and I was a meditation teacher
and I became really pure
and really sensitive and recently
I've been trying to kind of find
this authentic place because
both of them were rebellions.
Like being the party drug goer
was a rebellion for my parents
and then being all this spiritual person
was an adoption of my parents
and it's not that either one of
those is bad but I'm trying to
find this authentic place where I live.
And so, I've started experimenting
with having a beer or going out to
a not so healthy restaurant
and it's a funny thing because
even now as I'm saying a lot
where my mind wants to go,
don't do it.
I'm so programmed to be like
"No!" but I'm trying to just
explore something outside
of this conditioned response
and so last night,
me and my partner Mandy,
we were saying let's go out
and get some dinner.
And this rebellious little boy in you
is like "Let's go and get a beer"
That was honestly what my rebellious
little boy wanted to do.
It's like "Let's go get a beer"
And then my body was like
"No! You are not going
to do that, it's bad for you."
Then my mind kind of came in
and it was like
"Look at you guys, you're fighting
without even knowing what's true today."
And so in that moment I actually
asked all these parts, I said
"Alright body, what's true for you?"
And my body kind of said literally,
my body out loud said
"Well, you know that alcohol's
not good for you.
And you know that if you drink alcohol
you're not going to feel good.
So, you shouldn't do it."
And then my little kid was like
"But I want to do it,
I want to go out and do these
things, so how do we come
into a truce?"
And I had this little dialogue between
my body and this little emotional
child and the truce I came to is,
you should go out and satisfy
this emotional child that wants
something that in this case wants
a beer and the body can actually
have just consciously drink water
throughout the entire process
and make sure you don't go
to bed until you flushed it all
out of your system and you've
hydrated and everything else
and you know, I had a great time.
I mean it was just a silly,
stupid example but it was a
great example of giving a voice
to the different parts of us
and rather just ignoring
this part of us, allowing it to
have a voice.
And by doing that,
my body actually felt fine.
My little child got a chance to
express itself, my mind got to
make the logical decision and all
the parts of me were allowed
to come out in authentic
true fashion and so I've just been
noticing more and more how the
more response is to do
what you said just to,
I want to ignore this part of me.
I'm just going to put an emphasis
on this part of me that
I've deemed more significant.
But if instead of doing that,
we can actually start to give
a voice to these different parts of ourselves.
The great thing is that one,
it's a lot more creative an exercise.
Two, it brings you right back
to what's really true now,
what's authentic for you now.
And it gives you the opportunity
to have new experiences
and as we all know,
what we're all craving in life,
what brings richness and aliveness
to our life and to our business
is a new experience.
New financial experience,
new success experience,
new emotional experience,
new experience, right?
So I want to encourage to not
push it aside or ignore it,
to actually give it a voice.
And notice when you start to do that,
that you're no longer shutting off
this part of you that actually
has been screaming for
attention for a long time
and has not been getting it externally.
Because we don't get it externally,
we get it by needing it internally anyways.
Does that make sense to you Mackie?
Mackie: Absolutely. Yup.
I know what you're speaking about
and I'm just curious with your story
because I didn't follow.
Did you actually have the beer?
Max: Yeah!
Mackie: And then a lot of water?
Max: I went out and I had a
beer sampler none the less.
I had a series of very tiny
little beers but that is what I did.
Mackie: The adult part was
recognizing the consequences of it
in taking a responsible action.
Max: Yeah, and you know also
breaking free from this.
It's an identity.
Even being healthy is an identity, right?
I'm going to be super healthy
and I've just been evaluating of recent,
the ways in which I have created
identities based upon rebellions
from my child or adoptions from my parents.
And it's not to say,
being healthy is clearly a fantastic thing,
and I'm still continuing to plan to be
one of the healthiest people I know.
But there's a part where we start
to shut down the parts of ourselves
or the parts of ourselves
that are not shutting down,
they feel like they're sabotaging us.
So let's loop it back around to the
example that you've brought forward
around stopping and starting.
So if you were to give a voice
to the little kid in you,
that part of you,
the emotional side of you that
actually is trying to gain your attention.
What would it be saying if you
were to put a voice to that in
that particular dialogue?
Mackie: I'm not sure what
you're referring to with the stop, start.
Max: It's something you said,
it's a pattern that you're in
where you will start a project
which you won't publish it out
into the world because you get
into a perfectionist way of being.
Mackie: Okay, yes, alright.
So, the child part of me,
what is the voice?
That's your question?
Max: What's it say?
What does it say to you
about that experience?
Mackie: I want to get it out now.
I don't care if it's messy.
Max: Right, good.
Mackie: Just give me
lots of stage time.
For me it's like I've been sitting
on this blog thing forever
and so the child voice is saying
"I need you to create that platform
for me so that I can keep dumping
all my creativity there
and messy is good."
Max: Right, yeah.
So when you say that out loud,
what shifts in you?
Mackie: Energetically it feels
quite lighter and it feels
there's a sense of relief
and levity to it, it's like
"Hey, yeah that's what I want."
And that acknowledgement, right?
Max: Right,
it feels very acknowledging.
Feels very much like
you're being understood.
Mackie: Yes.
Max: So that's my challenge for you
specifically today is,
really hear that voice and then do it.
Mackie: And then do it, yeah.
Max: Really hear that voice
and then do it.
It's surprising how much
energy comes from doing
what we actually desire.
And I think we often misconstrue that
because we feel afraid and anxious
and uncertain and all those other things.
I always believe because of my
own experience, that's the sign
that it's perfect.
I mean, people actually always
kind of talk back to me
about this which is kind of funny
to me but sometimes when things
are too successful,
you get really bored.
Because you're just like,
it's nothing new,
it's nothing I haven't done before
and now it's just working.
And the most enjoyable times is
when you're actually stretching
into something that you
haven't done before. So, go.
Mackie: Okay.
Max: Okay. Alright,
well thank you for joining me today.
I really am grateful for your
openness and sharing.
It was really beautiful and special
and I think very valuable
for everybody listening as well.
Mackie: I hope so.
Thank you for your insights and guidance.
Max: Absolutely.
Alright, bye Mackie.
So for all of you listening too,
I would love to see you post
a comment on the
enlightenedbusinessradio.com portal.
So again enter your name and e-mail
and get access to that portal
and post a comment.
Let me know, what is that
underlying statement that you have
become aware of that you're saying?
What is the influence that that's
had on your life and what is it
trying to tell you?
What you'll find is that going through
that process that we just went
through with Mackie and getting clear
on what that is and putting a voice
to it and saying out loud
as she shared it,
frees up a lot of energy.
It frees up a lot of resistance
and so what's really
holding you back,
it's only your own resistance.
And why is it your own resistance?
Because you're only giving a voice.
You're only giving a say to
one part of who you really
are which is usually just the mind
and the mind is usually not very
aware of the other energies
and patterns and things that are
lying underneath the surface.
Why? Because the mind
just thinks it's perfect.
Mind thinks that it's got
everything all figured out.
The mind thinks that it knows
the answers already or the mind is
just simply repeating the same thoughts
that it's been thinking for
decades and decades.
So start to give a voice to these
other parts of you.
Start to become aware of the
decisions that you've unconsciously made
and how those decisions are
influencing your ability to just show up.
Your ability to just get things done.
Your ability to stand in a place of value
and certainty and confidence
and by doing that,
what you will quickly find is that
the blocks go away.
And you free yourself up to be
that much more effective.
So That said,
I want to announce my next big surprise
which I think for many of you will be
extremely exciting if it's something
you've been searching for.
And that is that on a pretty regular basis,
I get asked for my one on one guidance
and my one on one support and I just
don't usually have the time for it
these days between the different
businesses that I'm running.
And also I am in the higher class of fees.
It starts at about $25,000 for a day
of my time but I'm going to be
heading down to San Diego to lead
an event in a few weeks in the
middle of August.
So I got the idea from some of our
enlightened entrepreneur club members
who will be joining us for this
particular experience where I'm
going to do a private VIP day
with just 10 people.
Meaning that from morning
until basically dinnertime,
me and ten other people will sit down
in a room together and we' will
just work through whatever is
stopping you from exhilarating
your financial results.
Whether that means that you need
to flesh out a different positioning
or brand or strategy,
whether that's you need to find what
needs to be removed to stand in
your power ad in your value.
Whether that means you need to design
a new marketing campaign and strategy,
or whether you simply mean to
architect a bigger vision for your business
that motivates you and excites you.
Ten lucky people will get to join
in this private setting and
essentially split the cost.
So it's only $2,500 rather than $25,000.
I believe three or four spots
are already taken which
leaves six or seven.
So if you would like to join me,
the date is August 14th,
it's in San Diego.
It's a full day which is me
and y and these nine other
people where you'll get my undivided
personal attention and also get
to be in the room with this group.
If you want to grab
one of these final spots,
go ahead and email
Nicola@bigvisionbusiness.com.
And I'll just say this that if you
have been feeling like things are
taking way longer than you think
they should, or you are not experiencing
the kind of returns for the energy
and time you're putting into your
business and you just know
that it's time to shake things up
and get a new level of clarity
and direction to grow your
business and your income.
Gosh, I don't know a better way
to support you than spending
an entire day privately with you
in a room and just a few other
people especially at this
amazing investment price.
So, Nicola@bigvisionbusiness.com
and the first six or seven people
that claim those spots
will be the one spending the day
with me in San Diego.
Now that said, I also want to invite you
to share with me what you
would like us to cover or address
in future enlightened business radio shows.
So again, on enlightenedbusinessradio.com
you can post a comment
and what are the questions
you're dying to know but
maybe afraid to ask.
You know people are always asked
the superficial strategies like,
how do I get more Facebook followers?
That's not really what you want to know.
What you really want to know is
things that are holding you back
or things that are stopping you
from moving forward.
So, I would love for you to go
and post those comments on
enlightenedbusinessradio.com
and if you love this show,
please share it with your friends.
We are doing this as a way
to really connect and give back
to this fabulous tribe
that we are a part of.
I think that's it for today.
I think we'll end it there.
I, as always love your feedback
and your comments and if you
want to give us a nice birthday gift,
both Jeffrey and myself go
give us a nice rating on iTunes
which you can get to through the
enlightenedbusinessradio.com portal.
So I hope you enjoyed today's show,
I hope more importantly
than enjoying the show
you are able to more clearly
see how some of the early decisions
that you've made are actually
what's holding you back.
And that by bringing some conscious
awareness and attention to what
that's saying and giving a voice to it,
that you can bring all parts
of yourself forward in all aspects
of you and into your life
and business and that will free up
a lot of your energy to
simply be more effective.
I hope that message has landed
with you today and I hope that
you are enjoying being a part
of this incredible tribe of
big vision entrepreneurs all seeking
to do such incredible
things in the world.
So, let us know if you want to
join me for this private VIP day.
Please leave a comment,
let us know what's coming up next
and Jeffrey and I will be
back together on the next radio show
and we will be inviting some new
special guests as well which
will be very exciting so make sure
to check back in and listen
to the next show and again
all the great stuff happens over
enlightenedbusinessradio.com.
Thanks for your time everybody,
have a fantastic day.
We will talk to you again really soon.
All my love.