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- PREVIOUSLY ON CHEF ROBLE & CO...
- IT'S A PARTY! - IT'S A PARTY.
A MOLTEN CHOCOLATE CAKE IS LEVEL-ONE PASTRY.
- YOU THINK THAT'S THE FIRST TIME
I'VE DONE MOLTEN LAVA CAKE?
- OBVIOUSLY. - OBVIOUSLY?
- I PUT YOU IN A POSITION THAT'S DEFINITELY ABOVE
WHAT YOUR EXPERIENCE LEVEL IS.
- YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO YELL AT ME IN FRONT OF THE CREW.
- I'M SORRY THAT I DID THAT. - THANK YOU, AND--
- I'M NOT SAYING THAT IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
- THAT'S WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR. - OKAY. OKAY.
- I'M GETTING A VISION NOW.
SPOTLIGHT, BAM!
- I DON'T WANT YOU EVEN HAVING A CONVERSATION
WITH THE CLIENT ABOUT DESIGN.
THOSE LOOK LIKE SHEETS.
THEY NEED TO COME BACK AND DO THEIR JOB.
- YA, YA, YA! YA, YA, YA, YA!
- I REALLY THOUGHT YOU WERE MAD AT ME.
- I WAS HURT!
- HEY, LET'S NOT GET THERE ANYMORE, AT ALL.
I'M SERIOUS.
'CAUSE IT'S NOT WORTH IT FOR ME.
- YOU KNOW I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT OPENING UP
A RESTAURANT AT SOME POINT, RIGHT?
- YEAH.
- THE RESTAURANT IS CALLED DEUCES.
- ARE YOU NERVOUS AT ALL? - YEAH.
- ARE YOU? - A LITTLE BIT.
- IT'S A NICE SPACE.
IT'S A REALLY NICE SPACE.
- ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS. - IT'S AMAZING.
- GUYS, I HAVE FIVE TABLES THAT DON'T HAVE FOOD.
- SO WHAT?
THEY GOT TO WAIT A COUPLE MORE MINUTES.
SO WHAT? - NO.
- ARTIE, GO AWAY.
- ROBLE... - YEAH.
- SOMETIMES I FEEL AS THOUGH
YOU'RE NOT TAKING MY JUDGMENT SERIOUSLY.
- WHAT THE [bleep] ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- ROBLE, I TALK TO YOU ALL THE TIME ABOUT--
- THIS IS STUPID [bleep].
AND NOW FOR THE SEASON FINALE OF CHEF ROBLE & CO.
[funky music]
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
[mellow hip-hop music]
♪ ♪
HEY, BABY. - HI!
- WHAT'S UP, GUS?
YOUR MOM'S MAKING YOU WEAR THIS RIDICULOUS OUTFIT.
- AWW. - I'M SORRY.
- HI, BABY. - I'M SORRY.
- HE HATES YOU. PUT HIM DOWN.
- HE LOVES ME.
- THERE YOU GO, BABY.
- WHAT'S UP, DUDE?
HE LOOKS MUCH HAPPIER
NOW THAT HE HAS THAT THING OFF OF HIM.
MOVES A LOT MORE. SEE? SEE?
NOW HE'S ALL EXCITED.
- [barks] [laughter]
OKAY, SO WE HAD THIS AMAZING NIGHT
AT DEUCES, RIGHT?
- YEAH. - TOTAL SUCCESS.
- YEAH. - GREAT NIGHT.
I'M IN A GREAT MOOD.
- MM-HMM. - ALL RIGHT?
ALL I WANT TO DO IS CLEAN THE KITCHEN UP
AND THEN GO OUT AND JUST HANG OUT WITH MY FRIENDS.
- YEAH. - ALL RIGHT?
SO ARTIE KEEPS WANTING TO TALK TO ME.
HE JUST STARTS TALKING ABOUT-- ALL I--
ALL I REMEMBER HEARING IS HIM SAYING SOMETHING
ABOUT SOMEBODY WAITING A HALF AN HOUR FOR FOOD.
- HALLELUJAH, GUYS.
I HAVE FIVE TABLES THAT DON'T HAVE FOOD.
COME ON.
- I DON'T WANT TO IGNORE HIM
HAVING AN ISSUE, BUT IT'S NOT THEN.
- IF THERE WAS A WORSE TIME THAT--THAT--
- YEAH, IT'S LIKE IF YOU JUST WON A PLAY-OFF BASKETBALL GAME.
EVERYBODY'S CELEBRATING, AND THEN ONE OF YOUR TEAMMATES
COMES OVER LIKE, "I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
"HEY, YOU GUYS ARE POPPING CHAMPAGNE OVER HERE,
"BUT I REALLY THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T
PASS THE BALL AROUND ENOUGH," OR SOMETHING.
SHUT UP. WE JUST WON A PLAY-OFF GAME.
- YEAH.
- AS A BUSINESS OWNER,
THERE ARE CERTAIN ASPECTS OF MY BUSINESS
THAT I'M NOT NECESSARILY GOOD AT.
WHATEVER, SO I JUST GOT UP, AND I WALKED AWAY.
I DON'T LIKE ARGUING.
I DON'T LIKE HAVING PROBLEMS WITH PEOPLE.
I WANT TO HAVE A GOOD TIME, COOK FOOD.
THAT'S ALL I WANT TO DO.
- WOW.
- AT SOME POINT, WE'RE GOING
TO HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT.
[electronic music]
♪ ♪
- HEYO.
- YAY! - YAY!
- YES, THIS IS NICE. - YEAH.
- IT'S NICE SEEING YOU IN ANOTHER AREA.
- HA! OF BROOKLYN.
- OF BROOKLYN.
- JASMINE. - YES.
- SO I HAVE REAL CONCERNS BECAUSE...
I FEEL LIKE I DON'T HAVE A PLACE IN THIS COMPANY.
- ARTIE--
- IN A REAL CATERING COMPANY,
THE FRONT OF THE HOUSE LEADS THE KITCHEN.
WE DICTATE MENUS.
WE GIVE A TIMELINE.
THE KITCHEN FOLLOWS IT.
CAN I GET A TIMELINE ON THE FIRST COURSE, PLEASE?
- ARTIE, IT'S GONNA COME OUT WHEN IT COMES OUT.
- BUT WE'RE DEALING WITH A COMPANY...
- I KNOW. - WHERE THE HEAD--
THE CHEF-- THIS IS HIS COMPANY.
AND PEOPLE ARE PAYING TO HAVE ROBLE'S FOOD
AND ROBLE'S IDEA AND OUR SERVICE.
- BUT THE WHOLE SERVICE END OF IT
IS NOT WORKING.
NONE OF THAT IS WORKING.
- THE PROBLEM IS, ARTIE LIKES TO BE THE BOSS.
AN EGO IS A POWERFUL MOTHER[bleep].
IT CAN CHANGE PEOPLE.
AND IT CAN CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS.
BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, IT'S STILL ROBLE'S CALL.
- YOU KNOW CHRISSY TEIGEN. - OH, DUH.
- HER AND HER FIANCE, JOHN LEGEND--
- I LOVE THEM.
- THEY WANT ME TO CATER HER BIRTHDAY PARTY.
- OH, MY--
- SO, UM... - THAT'S GONNA BE AMAZING.
- YEAH, IT IS. IT IS.
I GOT TO TELL YOU, THOUGH.
THE THING THAT I'M MOST CONCERNED ABOUT
WITH THIS MEETING TOMORROW IS ARTIE.
I NEED HIM TO CALM THE [bleep] DOWN...
- [laughs]
- AND STOP BEING SUCH A BABY.
- OH, ARTHUR. - YES, ARTHUR.
I WANT TO BUILD ARTIE A BEAR.
LIKE, I WANT YOU TO BE ABLE TO SQUEEZE THE HAND
AND SAY SOMETHING LIKE,
"IT'S OKAY, ARTIE.
"IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A PROBLEM.
"EVERYTHING'S OKAY IN THE WORLD.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST RELAX?"
- [laughs]
- ARTIE, I UNDERSTAND
YOU'VE BEEN IN THE BUSINESS FOR 20 YEARS,
AND IF YOU'RE NOT ABLE TO PUT YOUR STAMP
ON WHAT YOU'RE PRODUCING,
I MEAN, I THINK YOU SHOULD TALK TO ROBLE ABOUT IT AND--
- I CAN'T TALK TO ROBLE 'CAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT--
HE PUTS UP THIS BLOCK--
"I KNOW WHAT'S BEST."
- YOU GOT TO DO IT, ARTIE.
- IT'S THE LACK OF RESPECT THAT CONCERNS ME.
- WELL, THEN HE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND THAT,
AND I THINK THAT HAS TO COME FROM YOU.
- ROBLE HAS A WAY OF SHUTTING PEOPLE OFF.
- I EMPATHIZE WITH ARTIE
'CAUSE I WAS IN THE SAME PLACE LAST YEAR.
WORKING WITH MY BROTHER WAS SUPER CHALLENGING.
IT'S JUST SO MUCH PRESSURE ALREADY.
- CHILL! I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING!
- AND ORIGINALLY I THOUGHT IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS HIS SISTER.
SO FOR THEIR RELATIONSHIP TO BE AS STRAINED
AS OURS WAS LAST YEAR
REALLY KIND OF GIVES YOU AN INSIGHT
TO WHERE THE PROBLEM LIES.
- I'M GONNA HAVE TO BE TRULY HONEST WITH YOU.
IF THIS CONTINUES,
I'M NOT STAYING.
- ARTIE...
- I CAN'T DO IT.
- UNFATHOMABLE.
I-I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT--
[upbeat hip-hop music]
♪ ♪
ARTIE!
- HI, JASMINE. - HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD. HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD.
IT'S BEAUTIFUL TODAY.
- ARTHUR. WHAT'S UP, BROTHER?
HOW YOU DOING, MAN?
- OKAY.
- ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO IT. - OKAY.
- THIS IS MY FIRST TIME SEEING ROBLE
AFTER HE WALKED OUT ON ME AT DEUCES,
AND THAT'S BURNING IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD.
BUT I'M WEARING A FACE LIKE I'M HAPPY.
EVERYTHING IS GOOD... [snaps fingers]
BUT, ***, WE NEED TO TALK.
- OKAY, A LITTLE PREGAME?
PREGAME? PREGAME? - MM-HMM. MM-HMM.
- ALL RIGHT, CHRISSY TEIGEN, AMAZING MODEL,
SPORTS ILLUSTRATED.
- OKAY.
- AND OF COURSE, HER FIANCE, JOHN LEGEND.
THEY'RE DEFINITELY AN IT COUPLE.
- YEAH.
- SO CHRISSY'S BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP.
SHE WANTS US TO DO HER BIRTHDAY PARTY.
- OH.
- OH, HEY. - HELLO!
HI, EVERYBODY.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU. - HELLO.
- HI. - I'M JOHN. HOW ARE YOU?
- JASMINE. NICE TO MEET YOU. - IT'S A PLEASURE.
- PLEASURE. - HI! CHRISSY.
- YOU ARE GORGEOUS! - HOW YOU DOING, BROTHER?
- NICE TO MEET YOU. - ARTHUR, OUR EVENT DIRECTOR.
- NICE TO MEET YOU. I'M JOHN. - NICE TO MEET YOU.
- IT'S A PLEASURE.
- YOU GUYS HAVE A SEAT RIGHT HERE.
- THANK YOU. - RIGHT THERE.
- THANK YOU. - I HOPE YOU LIKE LOBSTER.
- UH, A LITTLE TOO MUCH.
HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN HERE BEFORE? - I HAVEN'T.
- WE'VE NEVER BEEN HERE.
- BUT, LIKE, ABOUT A YEAR AGO,
I BECAME OBSESSED WITH THIS PLACE IN L.A.
THAT IS ALL JUST DIRTY TABLES, LONG WOODEN TABLES,
WAX PAPER LAID DOWN.
- AND IT'S CRAB, SHRIMP, LOBSTER...
- KING CRAB, DUNGENESS.
IT'S 100% KITSCHY, BUT I THINK
THAT'S WHAT WE WANT TO PROJECT AT THIS PARTY.
- OKAY, WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE PARTY?
- WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE PARTY?
- IT IS "CHRISSY'S GOT CRABS 27TH BIRTHDAY CRABTACULAR."
- UGH.
[laughter]
- THAT IS THE MOST AMAZING NAME FOR AN EVENT
I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE.
- I FIGURED I MIGHT AS WELL COME OUT WITH.
- I WANT T-SHIRTS.
- AND I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING YOU ON TWITTER.
WHAT YOU ARE POSTING, YOUR FOOD ***, I--
THAT'S HOW I GOT CRABS.
[laughter] - OH, MY GOD.
- IN RETURN, JOHN HAS THEM AS WELL.
- SO NOW YOU BOTH--
[laughter]
CHRISSY HAS A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR,
AND SHE WANTS TO HAVE A FILTHY PARTY.
THAT'S DOPE.
- BUT I'M, LIKE, ALLERGIC TO SEAFOOD.
- WHA...
- I'M JUST KIDDING. - I WAS LIKE, "WHAT?"
- [laughs] - "WAIT A MINUTE."
- I'M LIKE, "WAIT A MINUTE."
- THAT WOULD BE SO HIGHLY UNFORTUNATE.
- AND I'M INTRIGUED BY THE THOUGHT OF IT
BEING THIS PARTY WHERE YOU GOT TO HAVE FUN WITH YOUR FOOD.
- I THINK IT'S-- IT'S FAMILY-STYLE.
YOU SIT DOWN AT THE--
WE DROP A BIG CAST-IRON BUCKET. - YES!
- BATHED IN SAUCE. - OOH.
- OH, LET'S TALK ABOUT THE SAUCE.
THERE ARE DIFFERENT LEVELS THAT PEOPLE CAN ORDER,
SO ME, I ORDER BANGKOK SPICY MEDLEY.
- THIS IS IMPORTANT, THIS SAUCE THING,
I JUST WANT TO BE CLEAR ABOUT IT.
IT'S A RED SAUCE?
- IT'S SUPER HOT, SUPER GARLICKY.
I WANT BREATHS TO SMELL FOR DAYS.
IF YOU CAN'T FEEL IT THE NEXT MORNING,
THEN I DON'T CARE ABOUT IT.
- DIDN'T COUNT. - I'M SO DOWN.
I THINK WE HAVE THE SAME TASTE. SERIOUSLY.
I'M FEELING THEM.
LIKE, EVERYTHING THEY'RE SAYING IS THE KIND OF STUFF
THAT SOMEBODY LIKE ME WANTS TO HEAR.
- WE WANT YOU TO HAVE FREE REIN, KIND OF,
IN THE OTHER OPTIONS.
- BUT MAYBE KEEP IT IN THE SAME FAMILY OF FOOD.
- SAME FAMILY, OKAY. SO LET'S SAY--
- SO SOUTHERN STUFF MAYBE. - SOUTHERN.
- FRIED CHICKEN. - OOH.
- WE CAN DO FRIED--YEAH.
- I MAKE A PRETTY MEAN FRIED CHICKEN MYSELF.
- OH, YOU COOK TOO? - NOT GONNA--
- YEAH, AS A PROFESSIONAL CHEF,
I WILL ADMIT THAT THAT'S THE BEST FRIED CHICKEN--
- QUESTLOVE'S IS AMAZING.
- QUESTLOVE OF THE ROOTS
IS AN AMAZINGLY TALENTED DRUMMER, DJ--
HE'S THE MUSICAL DIRECTOR OF LATE NIGHT AT JIMMY FALLON,
ALSO A MASTER CHEF OF COOKING FRIED CHICKEN.
- QUEST--HE MIGHT COME TO THE PARTY ON FRIDAY.
- DAMN, NOW I HAVE TO COMPETE WITH QUESTLOVE'S FRIED CHICKEN.
[bleep]. I'M NOT EVEN GONNA LIE.
I DON'T KNOW THAT MY FRIED CHICKEN--
[stammering] CAN--CAN--
CAN COMPETE WITH HIS.
- THE PARTY'S GOT TO HAVE FUN MUSIC, SO NO...
- NO JOHN LEGEND.
WE WANT PEOPLE TO BE AWAKE AND HAPPY.
[laughter]
- OH, YES, WELL, WE DIDN'T REALLY TALK
ABOUT THE SPACE ENOUGH, I DON'T THINK.
DID WE, JAS?
- WELL, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT GETTING A SPACE.
HAVE WE DETERMINED THAT, ARTIE?
- ARTIE? - ARTIE.
- WHAT?
- ARTIE HAS BEEN TOTALLY CHECKED OUT
THIS ENTIRE MEETING, AND I CAN TELL
HE IS TING-A-LINGING OVER THERE,
AND IT'S A PROBLEM.
ROBLE NEEDS TO DEAL WITH IT,
BECAUSE IF WE'RE GONNA PULL OFF THIS PARTY,
WE NEED HAPPY ARTIE BACK.
- OKAY, LET'S TALK ABOUT LOCATION.
- I WANT IT TO BE A LITTLE DIRTY AND RUSTIC
BUT CHIC AT THE SAME TIME.
- RUSTIC AND CHIC.
- SOME ELEMENTS OF IT SHOULD BE KIND OF DOWN HOME.
- SHE'S THE ONE THAT'S GONNA DRESS IT UP.
- OKAY, SO DOWN HOME. OH, LORD, OKAY.
THIS IS GOOD.
- SO WE'RE HAVING FUN. IT'S ALL GOOD.
BUT THIS IS KIND OF SERIOUS.
LIKE, OUR FRIENDS EXPECT OUR PARTIES
TO BE A GREAT TIME,
AND ESPECIALLY, BECAUSE IT'S HER,
THEY WANT GREAT FOOD.
- EMPHASIS ON-- - EMPHASIS ON THE FOOD.
SO THE PRESSURE'S ON.
- THIS EVENT WILL BE OUR MOST IMPORTANT EVENT TO DATE.
I NEED MY ENTIRE TEAM TO BE ON POINT.
I NEED 110% FROM EVERYONE,
ESPECIALLY ARTIE.
- BUT WE BELIEVE IN YOU, ROBLE.
WE KNOW YOU'RE GONNA DELIVER.
- WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT "I'M ANNOYED" FACE?
- HMM, I DON'T CARE NOW.
- "I DON'T CARE"?
THAT'S THE LAST THING I WANT TO HEAR.
I THINK YOU'RE JUST BEING A *** FOR NO REASON.
- GOOD-BYE.
- I THINK--I THINK YOU LOOK ACTUALLY EXTREMELY SEXY TONIGHT.
I'M SMITTEN. KIKU LOOKS...HOT.
- IT'S THE ***. - I THINK IT'S THE CLEAVAGE.
- YEAH, PRETTY SURE IT'S THE CLEAVAGE.
MY CLEAVAGE IS [bleep] AWESOME.
- WELL, ACTUALLY, MY CLEAVAGE IS BETTER.
[laughter]
- RIGHT. - HOW ARE YA?
- YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE, LIKE, ON THE COVER OF, LIKE,
A MAGAZINE RIGHT NOW.
POP THE COLLAR. - THANK YOU.
THANK YOU FOR POPPING MY COLLAR FOR ME.
- THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT CALI STYLE.
YOU GOT TO POP YOUR COLLAR.
- OKAY, KIKU, I NEED YOU TO CONTAIN YOURSELF.
I HAD A MEET AND GREET EARLIER TODAY
WITH...JOHN LEGEND.
- HOLY [bleep]! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
FOR REAL? - WORD. WORD.
- I [bleep] LOVE JOHN LEGEND.
LIKE, HE IS, TILL THIS DAY,
LIKE, ONE OF THE ONLY R&B ARTISTS
THAT CAN, LIKE, GET ME, LIKE, ALL EMO AND IN MY FEELINGS
AND [bleep].
- YOU KNOW WHO HIS FIANCEE IS?
- YEAH. CHRISSY TEIGEN.
- YOU KNOW CHRISSY-- CHRISSY TEIGEN, YES.
- SPORTS ILLUSTRATED IN MY BATHROOM.
[laughter]
- EXACTLY!
- AWESOME. AWESOME. - OH, NICE.
- WHOA! - THAT LOOKS GREAT.
- WE'RE GONNA DO CHRISSY'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.
IT'S CALLED "THE CHRISSY'S GOT CRABS
CRABTACULAR 27TH BIRTHDAY PARTY."
- WHAT? - I BET YOU LOVE IT.
- I LOVE IT! - [bleep] HILARIOUS!
- THIS IS REALLY MY KIND OF GIRL.
- CHRISSY'S THE KIND OF CLIENT THAT I LOVE TO COOK FOR.
THE STUFF THAT SHE WANTS ME TO COOK,
IT'S NOT STUFFY; IT'S NOT BORING;
IT'S NOT PRETENTIOUS.
IT'S FUN.
YOU KNOW, YOU THINK OF, LIKE,
LIKE A MARYLAND STYLE, LIKE, CRAB...
BAKE--BOIL.
- IT'S, LIKE, MY FAVORITE THING.
- I WANT TO DO DUNGENESS CRAB CLAWS.
- DUNGENESS CRAB IS ONE OF THE BEST THINGS IN THE WORLD.
- BAKED BEANS!
- I LIKE BAKED BEANS.
- BUT I WANT YOU TO MAKE IT WITH SMOKED TURKEY.
I NEED DIRTY RICE.
DIRTY RICE IS A TRADITIONAL CAJUN RICE DISH.
IT'S CALLED DIRTY RICE BECAUSE YOU TAKE CHICKEN GIZZARDS,
AND YOU GRIND THEM UP, AND YOU PUT THEM INTO THE RICE,
WHICH GIVES IT A DIRTY APPEARANCE.
- I MAKE MINE WITH DUCK LIVERS. - PERFECT.
IT'S GONNA BE CALLED "MOTHER-DUCKIN' DIRTY RICE."
- GREAT.
- NOW LET'S TALK PASTRY.
I WANT YOU GUYS TO FOCUS
ON CLASSIC AMERICAN DESSERTS, FAMILY-STYLE.
I WANT AMERICANA.
- YES! - REALLY?
- THIS IS THE [bleep] I DO,
SO I'M HOPING THAT MAYBE THIS WILL BE
A MOMENT FOR ROBLE TO KIND OF JUST, LIKE,
LET ME DO MY THING.
- I DON'T WANT NO FRENCH NOTHING.
I WANT AMERICAN DESSERTS.
- WHAT IF WE DO A DIRTY RICE PUDDING?
- BUT THEN I CAN'T DO THE DIRTY RICE.
- YES, YOU CAN. - NO.
I WANT TO KEEP IT BASIC.
DON'T MAKE IT TOO WEIRD, ADAM.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "WEIRD"?
LIKE WHAT?
[laughter]
[syncopated hip-hop music]
♪ ♪
- IT SMELLS LIKE THE OCEAN IN HERE.
KING CRAB IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS
TO EAT IN THE WORLD.
DO YOU-- DOG, I FEEL LIKE--
I FEEL LIKE WE SHOULD GET ANOTHER TWO CASES OF THIS.
- JUST TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT WE'VE GOT
ALL IN THE STASH.
WE'VE GOT TWO BOXES OF THIS.
- WE HAVE MAD VARIETY. - I KNOW WE HAVE.
I KNOW WE HAVE. - I MEAN, WE'VE GOT--
- WE'VE GOT ALL THIS SHRIMP. - I KNOW WHAT WE HAVE.
- WE'VE GOT 40 POUNDS OF MUSSELS.
THAT'S AN EXPENSIVE ORDER. - OF COURSE IT WAS.
PEOPLE LOVE THIS [bleep].
WE SHOULD GET ANOTHER TWO CASES.
WE'RE GETTIN' ANOTHER TWO CASES.
- I GOT YOU.
HE'S GONNA HAVE TWO CASES OF EXTRA [bleep] CRAB.
HE-HE!
- WE'RE ORDERING MORE SEAFOOD THAN NORMAL FOR THIS EVENT
BECAUSE THE SEAFOOD IS THE CENTERPIECE
OF THE WHOLE EVENT.
THERE NEEDS TO BE A LOT OF IT.
IT NEEDS TO BE VISUALLY STUNNING.
WE NEED TO MAKE A STATEMENT.
- THEY'RE GONNA KILL YOU. I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW.
I WANT YOU TO BE PREPARED.
THEY'RE GONNA, LIKE, STAB YOU, HOMEY.
THEY'RE GONNA STAB YOU...
'CAUSE YOU GUYS ARE EVIL, EVIL PEOPLE.
[upbeat hip-hop music]
♪ ♪
- BANKS, YOU'RE WORKING
ON YOUR MOTHER-DUCKIN' DIRTY RICE, RIGHT?
- YEAH.
- IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, LET ME KNOW.
CHRISSY WANTS CASUAL, FAMILY-STYLE, FUN FOOD.
SO FOR THE SIDES, WE'RE GOING WITH FAMILY-STYLE FAVORITES.
GRAVY, YOU'RE ON THE BEANS.
ALL RIGHT, SO WE'LL HANDLE THAT.
D, YOU'RE DOING THE POTATO SALAD.
YOU ALREADY CUT ALL THE VEGETABLES FOR IT, RIGHT?
- YEAH. - OKAY, SO...
YOU'LL MIX IT TOMORROW. - OKAY.
- POTATO SALAD TO ME IS ALWAYS BETTER THE SECOND DAY.
SITUATION MARINATION.
IT NEEDS TO MARRY, ALL RIGHT?
SO YES, AND YOU AGREE, AND YOU AGREE, AND YOU AGREE.
- I AGREE. YEAH, I DO.
♪ ♪
- LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR DESSERTS, KIKU.
- WE'RE GONNA MAKE MISSISSIPPI MUD PIES.
IT'S MY GRANDMAMA'S RECIPE, ACTUALLY.
- WHICH ONE? BLACK OR JAPANESE?
- UM, JAPANESE, ACTUALLY.
- REALLY?
- MY LITTLE JAPANESE GRANDMOTHER...
- UH-HUH.
- WAS PROBABLY ONE OF THE BEST SOUL FOOD COOKS.
EVERYTHING SHE MADE-- OH, FRIED CORN.
FRIED SQUASH. JESUS LORD, THAT WOMAN.
MY GRANDMASAN IS STRAIGHT OUT OF NAGOYA
AND CAME HERE WHEN SHE MET MY GRANDFATHER,
WHO WAS IN THE ARMY.
HE'S FROM ARKANSAS...
WHICH KIND OF IS WHY SHE'S REALLY GOOD AT SOUL FOOD,
'CAUSE MY GRANDPA WAS NOT GONNA BE EATING, YOU KNOW,
SUSHI IN SOUTH-CENTRAL L.A. ALL THE TIME.
HER FRIED CHICKEN-- - NO, I HAD YOUR FRIED CHICKEN.
IT'S PROBABLY THE SAME ONE, RIGHT?
IT'S VERY GOOD.
- KIKU, YOUR FRIED CHICKEN DOES NOT BRING
ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD, OKAY?
- STOP LYING.
STOP LYING. - YOU KNOW GOOD AND WELL.
- HER FRIED CHICKEN IS VERY GOOD.
- OH, YEAH? - SHE COOKS IT IN A WOK TOO.
- YOU COOK--OF COURSE. - OF COURSE YOU WOULD.
- YOU WOULD COOK IT IN A WOK.
- I FRY MY CHICKEN IN A WOK.
- WITH A SAMURAI BUN ON TOP, RIGHT?
- SO YOUR DESSERTS, KIKU.
I'M MORE CONCERNED ABOUT, UM--
HOW YOU GONNA--HOW YOU GONNA INDIVIDUALIZE THEM?
NO, DON'T LISTEN TO ME.
DO WHAT YOU DO.
- FINALLY, YEAH, YOU KNOW, I GET A LITTLE BIT OF TRUST.
- YEAH.
- AT THE SAME TIME, [bleep] YEAH, I CAN DO THIS.
OF COURSE I'M GONNA ACE MISSISSIPPI MUD PIE.
- OKAY, SO YOU GOT THAT. MISSISSIPPI MUD PIE'S DONE.
- AHH!
THIS IS THE JUICE.
THIS IS THE SICK JUICE.
THIS IS THE CONCOCTION THAT MAKES THESE BEANS
WHAT THEY GONNA BE.
WE TAKE THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL.
THIS IS THE BOTTOM OF THE BARBECUE SAUCE.
- SOAK 'EM UPS.
- I HIT IT WITH THE-- THE MEAN HOMINY.
- MM-HMM. I'M LIKING THAT ALREADY.
- WITH ALL KINDS OF STICK 'EM UPS,
AND THEN I GET SICK.
- OH, HOO-HOO.
MMM, THAT IS JUST GONNA BE CRAZY RIGHT THERE.
- WHOO!
♪ ♪
- HI. - HI.
- WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY BUCKET?
- OH, IT'S A FIRE-- A FIREMAN'S BUCKET.
- IS IT-- IS IT THE RIGHT SIZE?
- ♪ AHH ♪
- LISTEN, THIS IS NOT A VOMIT BUCKET.
THIS IS A FOOD BUCKET, SO...
- YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD BE GETTING, THOUGH?
WE SHOULD BE GETTING RUBBER GLOVES.
- OH, I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT.
OKAY, SO LET'S JUST GO OVER OUR LITTLE LIST REAL QUICK.
OKAY.
SO, YEAH, I WANT TO DO FARMHOUSE, NOT OAK.
- OH, FARMHOUSE. - SO LET'S DO--
THAT MEANS WE GET TO HAVE THREE BARTENDERS.
- FOR 70 PEOPLE--GIRL.
- IT'S TOO MUCH. - YES.
- YOU SURE? YOU'RE GONNA WANT IT.
I'M TELLING YOU, PEOPLE LIKE TO DRINK.
OKAY.
YOU SAID THEY HAVE BROWN PAPER, RIGHT?
- WE'RE GONNA USE THAT AND NEWSPAPER.
- OKAY, SO NEWSPAPER-- WHERE WE GETTING THAT FROM?
- FROM THE NEWSSTAND.
- I KNOW THAT, ARTIE, BUT I MEANT, LIKE,
A WHOLE BUNCH OF IT.
- THE NEW YORK TIMES.
- OKAY, ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE PATRONIZING ME.
- NO, I'M NOT. - YOU SURE?
- DO YOU-- - JUST MAKING SURE.
JUST SAYING.
IT FEELS LIKE I'M WALKING ON EGGSHELLS AROUND ARTIE.
HE'S IN FULL *** MODE, BUT WE NEED HIM,
AND I NEED HIM TO BE HAPPY,
SO IF I HAVE TO TAKE A FEW HITS ON THE CHIN,
I'LL DO IT.
UM, I ORDERED THE CRAB SUIT FOR SHAWN.
LOOK AT THAT. ISN'T THAT CUTE?
- I WAS EXPECTING SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE SEXIER THAN THAT.
- IT'S A CRAB. WHAT ELSE IS--
- CRABS ARE SEXY. - WHAT OTHER KIND OF CRAB SUIT--
- IT SHOULD BE COUTURE'D TO HIS BODY.
- NO, SIR.
- SO THEN HE HAS THOSE THINGS
AND THEN ALL THAT STUFF.
- I'M SURE HE'LL MAKE IT FUN.
I KNOW--YOU KNOW HIM.
SO DON'T YOU SEE HIM IN RED TIGHTS...
- LET'S CALL HIM UP NOW. - AND RED SHOES NOW?
- MM-MM.
[line ringing]
- HEY, ARTIE. - HI, SHAWN!
HOW ARE YOU? - WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
- WE'RE CALLING YOU BECAUSE JASMINE'S FOUND...
- NO, NO. - THIS WONDERFUL COSTUME.
- LET ME--NO! SHH!
- WELL, LET ME-- NO, NO, NO!
- DON'T SAY IT IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL THE WHOLE STORY.
- I WANT YOU TO WEAR IT!
- [speaking indistinctly]
- LISTEN.
LISTEN. - JOHN LEGEND!
- SHH! THAT'S HOW YOU MESS UP.
YOU'RE NOT HELPING. - I DID!
- I NEED YOU TO ZIP IT.
SHAWN, SO WE WENT TO GO MEET OUR NEW CLIENT.
AND IT'S CHRISSY TEIGEN. SHE IS A SUPERMODEL.
HER BOYFRIEND--OR ACTUALLY FIANCE--IS JOHN LEGEND.
SO WE'RE DOING THIS PARTY.
IT'S CALLED "CHRISSY'S GOT CRABS."
IT'S, LIKE, A CRABTACULAR 27TH BIRTHDAY PARTY.
SHE WANTS EVERYTHING KIND OF DIRTY AND FILTHY.
- AND NASTY AND ***!
- ALL--ALL THE [bleep] YOU AND ARTIE GET OFF ON, RIGHT?
SO-- - OH!
- [speaks indistinctly]
both: OHH! - I LOVE YOU.
- SEE THAT? - YOU ALWAYS--
YOU ALWAYS COME THROUGH.
- AND JASMINE SAID YOU WOULDN'T DO IT.
- HE'S SUCH A LIAR. GOOD-BYE.
YOU KNOW WHAT, SHAWN?
I'LL CALL YOU LATER WHEN I'M AWAY FROM HIM, OKAY?
I LOVE YOU.
I'M REALLY GLAD THAT ARTIE'S SMILING AGAIN.
SEE, IT WASN'T HARD. YOU MADE IT HARDER.
I LOVE ARTIE, AND I WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY.
- YOU'RE USED TO BEING THE MASTER.
- WELL, YES!
- OKAY, YOU'RE NOT THE MASTER ANYMORE.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT SAYS?
IT SAYS "ROBLE & CO."
- DOES THIS SMELL GOOD?
DOES THAT SMELL LIKE BARBECUE?
GUESS WHAT. - WHAT?
GUESS WHAT. - CHICKEN BUTT.
- MY SON SAID HIS FIRST WORDS TODAY.
- WORD? - SHUT UP!
- YEAH. - WHAT'D HE SAY?
- WHAT DID-- YEAH, WHAT'D HE SAY?
- YOU ARE NOT GONNA BELIEVE WHAT HE SAID.
- WHAT'D HE SAY?
- "THANK YOU."
- WHAT? - AWW!
- YEAH. - THAT'S A GREAT FIRST WORDS!
- YEAH! - YEAH, "THANK YOU."
- HE HAS MANNERS. - "THANK YOU."
- OH, [bleep], LOOK WHAT I FOUND.
THERE'S A STARFISH IN HERE.
- HUH, TAKE A PICTURE OF IT.
HEY, KIKU, WHAT DO YOU ALL HAVE GOING SO FAR?
- WE'RE WORKING ON MARSHMALLOWS
AND CHOCOLATE PUDDING RIGHT NOW.
- I NEVER MADE FRESH MARSHMALLOW BEFORE.
- HOW THE [bleep] DO YOU MAKE A MARSHMALLOW ANYWAY?
- YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S EASIER THAN I THOUGHT.
- DOGGY DOG, SITUATION MARINATION.
CHICKEN BASE, BUTTERMILK,
HOT SAUCE, PEPPER, NUTMEG, HONEY.
- YOU'RE GONNA FLOUR IT AND FRY IT AT THE EVENT?
- YEP. LINE 'EM UPS.
[electronic percussive music]
♪ ♪
YO, WE SHOULD DO, LIKE, A [bleep] BLUEGRASS BAND
WITH ALL KITCHEN TOOLS.
- WE CAN DO THAT. - YEAH.
[electronic bluegrass music]
♪ THIS IS HOW WE STEW IT ♪
♪ ♪
- OH, OH. THERE WE GO.
THERE WE GO. LOOK.
[utensils clacking and scraping]
IT'S MUSIC, MAN. IT'S MUSIC.
NOW, THAT'S HOW YOU MAKE FRIED CHICKEN.
- ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE THE GRITS AT THE PARTY.
- YEP.
- FRIED CHICKEN IS MARINATING.
- AMEN. - THE BEANS ARE ALREADY READY.
WE JUST HAVE TO HEAT THOSE AND HOLD THEM.
- EASY.
WE GOT PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL,
EXCEPT FOR THIS RED SAUCE THAT CHRISSY WANTS.
GRAVY, YOU AND ME WILL DO
THE SPICY, TOMATOEY SEAFOOD YUMMY SAUCE.
both: SPICY, TOMATOEY SEAFOOD YUMMY SAUCE.
- THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA CALL IT.
I HAVE TO GUESS WHAT THIS TASTES LIKE
BASED OFF OF CHRISSY'S DESCRIPTION,
AND THAT'S NOT THE EASIEST THING TO DO,
BUT I KNOW IT'S SPICY.
I KNOW IT'S TOMATO-BASED. I KNOW IT'S GARLICKY.
I CAN DO THAT.
- SO BLEND THAT UP TOMORROW?
- YEAH, ONCE YOU PUT IT THROUGH THE BLENDER...
- UH-HUH. - IT'S GONNA OPEN UP EVERYTHING.
- ♪ I'M GONNA MAKE SOME SAUCE ♪
♪ SAUCE, BEAUTIFUL SAUCE ♪
- YUMMY.
- NOW TASTE THAT [bleep].
NOW SEE WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
OPEN THAT-- OPEN THAT SUCKER RIGHT ON UP.
- YEAH.
THAT'S GOOD, MAN.
- YOU LIKE WHERE THAT'S AT? - IT'S PERFECT.
- YEAH, THAT'S GONNA BE-- THAT'S GONNA BE ILL.
- RUDE AND DISRESPECTFUL. - YEAH, TERMINALLY ILL.
- SELFISH. - VERY OBNOXIOUS.
- HIGHLY OBNOXIOUS.
- WHEW.
[mellow hip-hop music]
♪ ♪
- HI. - HEY, WHAT'S UP, ARTIE?
- NOTHING MUCH. HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD.
[sighs]
- WE'RE GONNA NEED A GOOD AMOUNT OF RENTALS.
- FOR THE BUFFET?
- ARTIE, I THINK YOU SHOULD PULL OUT
YOUR NOTEPAD OR WHATEVER AND WRITE THIS DOWN...
- I NEED A PEN.
- 'CAUSE THIS IS GONNA BE A LOT OF INFORMATION.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TWO GROWLERS OF BEER
AND MUGS FOR BEER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TABLE.
WE'LL COME OUT WITH BUCKETS
AND JUST DUMP SEAFOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE.
- I LIKE THAT.
- YEAH, WE MAKE A MOMENT OUT OF IT.
- COME IN AND DUMP FOOD IN FRONT OF THEM.
- YEAH. - NO.
- NO?
- I THINK IT SHOULD BE, LIKE,
A GRAB TABLE DURING COCKTAILS.
ONE TABLE DURING COCKTAILS,
THEY CAN GET AS MESSY AND NASTY--
THEY TAKE THE GLOVES OFF, AND THEN IT'S A NEW LIFE.
- I THINK SOME OF THE EXPERIENCE WOULD BE LOST
IF WE PUT IT IN A DESIGNATED AREA.
- WE SHOULD DO IT ON ALL THE TABLES.
- I REALLY FEEL YOU SHOULD DROP IT DURING COCKTAILS--
- I DON'T WANT ANY FOOD DURING COCKTAIL HOUR.
I WANT THEM TO DRINK. I WANT THEM TO GET DRUNK.
IT'S GONNA BE CRAZY.
THERE'S BEER AND SHRIMP AND MUSSELS AND SAUCE
AND POTATOES AND MUGS AND BEER AND BEER.
- THEY DIDN'T APPEAR TO ME TO BE A BIG BEER-DRINKING CROWD.
- HOW DO YOU KNOW?
WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT "I'M ANNOYED" FACE?
YOU'RE JUST BEING DIFFICULT FOR THE SAKE OF BEING DIFFICULT.
- NO. - YES, YOU ARE.
- NO. HERE'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
GIVE ME MY PAD.
I'M JUST GONNA SIT HERE AND TAKE NOTES,
AND Y'ALL JUST TALK.
I WON'T HAVE ANY OPINION AT ALL.
- WE'RE GONNA DO IT OUR WAY. DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.
- ROBLE'S GONNA HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME AT SOME POINT.
I'M PART OF YOUR TEAM.
I HAVE A GREAT DEAL OF RESPECT FOR YOU,
BUT RIGHT NOW, I DON'T THINK YOU RESPECT ME.
- SO, ARTIE, WHAT'S GONNA BE ON THE TABLE?
- WHATEVER.
- ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT US MESSING THE TABLES UP?
- MM, I DON'T CARE NOW.
- YOU CAN DISAGREE WITH ME.
YOU CAN ARGUE WITH ME.
BUT "I DON'T CARE"?
THAT'S THE LAST THING I WANT TO HEAR.
I THINK YOU'RE JUST BEING A *** FOR NO REASON.
- JEEZ.
[sighs]
GOOD-BYE.
GOOD-BYE.
- ARTIE'S VERY IMPORTANT AND VERY VALUED
AS A PART OF MY TEAM,
BUT HE'S REALLY BEEN GETTING ON MY NERVES LATELY.
HE'S CRANKY ALL THE TIME.
AND I WANT IT TO STOP.
WHAT'S UP, ARTIE?
- DID YOU JUST CALL ME A ***?
- YOU'RE GENERALLY A REALLY NICE GUY.
- I TRY TO BE. - IT'S JUST--
ACTING KIND OF LIKE A ***
FOR THE PAST FOUR MONTHS.
- IT'S BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T--
I CAN'T TALK TO YOU SOMETIMES.
- WE'RE TALKING RIGHT NOW.
- WE ARE TALKING NOW, BUT THIS IS--
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME WE TALKED, ROBLE?
- WELL, YOU TRIED TO TALK TO ME
WHILE I WAS HAVING A GREAT TIME.
WE JUST DID AN AMAZING PARTY,
AND YOU WANT TO COME COMPLAIN TO ME ABOUT STUFF.
LIKE, CAN I ENJOY THE REST OF MY NIGHT?
- ALTHOUGH YOUR FOOD IS AMAZING,
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT TIMING
AND GETTING FOOD OUT.
- LET ME KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEMS ARE
SO WE CAN FIX THEM AND MOVE ON.
- I JUST WANT TO KNOW THAT WE HAVE THAT--
THAT WE HAVE THAT WINDOW TO DO THAT.
- I DON'T MIND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM.
I NEVER HAVE.
- I JUST THINK THAT WE NEED TO ADDRESS
THE DIFFERENT STYLES THAT YOU AND I HAVE,
SO WE CAN HAVE A COHESIVE COMPANY.
- YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GETS ON MY NERVES?
WHEN YOU COME IN THE KITCHEN AND RUSH US.
IT'S NOT GONNA MAKE IT HAPPEN ANY FASTER,
AND IT DOESN'T NEED TO BE RUSHED.
- BUT IT-- - THE PEOPLE--
THE CLIENTS ARE OUT THERE. THEY'RE HAVING A GOOD TIME.
- BUT-- - NOBODY'S IN A RUSH.
- I FEEL THAT SO MANY TIMES, YOU JUST CUT ME OFF.
- I DO DO THAT SOMETIMES, 'CAUSE I HAVE TO.
- WELL, WHEN YOU CHOP ME UP
AND SPIT ME OUT THE DOOR, YOU DO.
- WELL, DON'T COME IN THE KITCHEN RUSHING US ANYMORE
AND I WON'T HAVE TO DO IT.
- HERE'S-- THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
I'VE BEEN IN A SITUATION WHERE THE BACK OF THE HOUSE
IS RUNNING THE FRONT OF THE HOUSE.
USUALLY IT'S THE FRONT OF THE HOUSE THAT RUNS THE SHOW.
- OKAY, I GET IT. I GET IT.
HE'S NOT WILLING TO ACCEPT THAT THIS KID IS THE BOSS.
I KNOW THE LAST PLACE YOU WERE AT FOR 20 YEARS,
EVERYBODY, INCLUDING THE CHEF, WAS UNDER YOU.
- OF COURSE.
- YOU WERE IN CHARGE OF EVERYTHING.
- I AM. - IT'S A DIFFERENT DYNAMIC NOW.
- I KNOW, BUT--
- YOU'RE USED TO BEING THE MASTER.
- BUT I DON'T-- WELL, YES!
- OKAY, YOU'RE NOT THE MASTER ANYMORE.
'CAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT? DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT SAYS?
IT SAYS "ROBLE & CO."
- I DON'T THINK IT CAN ALL BE JUST ROBLE'S WAY.
I THINK YOU'RE-- YOU CALLING THE SHOTS--
- YOU'RE NOT USED TO THAT, ARTIE.
- AFTER 20 YEARS OF RUNNING THE SHOW,
MAYBE I DO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH BEING SECOND IN COMMAND.
- IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE THAT I CAN DO TO HELP?
- I--I--
I JUST WANT A LITTLE MORE RESPECT.
I DON'T THINK THAT'S...HARD.
- OKAY, I WILL.
I HAVE AN AMAZING, INCREDIBLE AMOUNT OF RESPECT FOR YOU.
- OKAY. - ALL RIGHT?
- OH! - ALL RIGHT, MAN.
- ALL RIGHT. - I--
- OKAY.
WELL, LET'S SEE HOW THIS NEXT PARTY'S GONNA GO.
- OKAY. - ALL RIGHT.
- IT'S GONNA GO GOOD.
IT'S GONNA GO GOOD.
- IT BETTER.
I HAVE NOT A CARE IN THE WORLD.
Y'ALL CAN HAVE THE TABLES HANGING ON THE WINDOWS.
I DON'T CARE.
- WHOO, WHOO, WHOO!
IT'S GONNA BE A WHOO-WHOO NIGHT, BOO-BOO!
- ARE YOU TELLING US WHERE EVERYTHING'S GOING, OR...
- YES, I'M GETTING READY TO TELL YOU RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS SUPPOSED TO MOVE.
I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA HAVE THE SPACE OPEN.
SOMEBODY MADE AN EXECUTIVE DECISION.
DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHAT TIME JASMINE IS GETTING HERE?
- SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO ARRIVE AT 12:30, SHE SAID.
- WELL, NOW IT'S 4:00.
MAYBE SHE'S STUCK IN TRAFFIC.
- PROBABLY.
- LET'S GIVE HER A CALL,
SO SHE CAN START PUTTING UP HER DECOR.
RIGHT NOW I'M A LITTLE PERTURBED,
BUT I'M NOT GONNA LET THAT RUIN ME SETTING THIS EVENT UP.
- OH, MY GOD.
- THAT IS A LOT OF STUFF SHE'S GOT.
BUT I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT,
WHERE IS THE PROFESSIONALISM?
WE'LL LET JASMINE WORRY ABOUT THAT FOR RIGHT NOW.
LET'S START SETTING UP THE TABLES.
- ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET LOADED IN.
- OOH!
- NOW, THIS IS SERIOUS.
ALL THIS FOR 70 PEOPLE?
- YEP. - HA-HA!
- YOU GOT IT? - YES, SIR!
- ALL RIGHT, SEE Y'ALL UPSTAIRS.
CHRISSY TEIGEN ASKED US TO CATER
HER "CHRISSY'S GOT CRABS
27TH BIRTHDAY PARTY CRABTACULAR."
THIS PARTY'S GONNA BE FUN.
IT'S, LIKE, NOT EVEN WORK.
IT'S NOT OFTEN THAT WE GET TO WORK
WITH THIS AMOUNT OF SEAFOOD.
- KNOW WHAT?
WAITERS USUALLY CARRY ALL THE [bleep].
- IT'S A LOT.
I MEAN, THIS IS A SERIOUS CLIENT THAT WE GOT.
SO I'M QUITE SURE IT'S A OVERLOAD.
BUT, HEY, MORE IS BETTER THAN LESS.
- EXACTLY. THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING.
BECAUSE THE GUY PLAYS THE PIANO, WE GOT TO GO [bleep] [bleep].
- [laughs]
- SET IT THIS WAY.
- BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.
- REALLY?
- [gasps] OH, YEAH!
SEE ALL THAT STUFF? - OKAY.
- GOOD, RIGHT?
- OHH...
- WHAT YOU MAD FOR?
- UM... - OKAY.
- I JUST WISH THAT IF YOU HAD CALLED THE STAFF...
- RIGHT.
- YOU WOULD'VE JUST LET ME KNOW THAT YOU CALLED THEM.
- I TRIED TO CALL YOU. YOU SHOULD LOOK AND SEE.
YOU MISSED MY CALL. I CALLED YOU.
- DID YOU LEAVE ME A MESSAGE? - NO.
- 'CAUSE WE--WHEN YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY CALLS,
I THOUGHT YOU WERE HERE.
AND, LOOK, THEY'RE WORKING, SO CLEARLY WE NEED THEM.
ARTIE NEEDS TO BRING IT DOWN A NOTCH.
THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE HIM TO DO.
I'D LIKE HIM TO JUST RELAX HIMSELF.
I'M HERE. THE PARTY'S GONNA BE AMAZING.
WE HAVE PEOPLE WORKING AND SETTING UP THINGS.
EVERYTHING IS ACTUALLY GOING ACCORDING TO PLAN.
OKAY, SO I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHERE EVERYTHING'S GONNA GO
SO I CAN PUT STUFF AROUND IT.
THIS PARTY IS ALL ABOUT MESSY SEAFOOD.
I WANTED THIS EVENT TO FEEL
LIKE A NAUTICAL, RUSTIC KIND OF CHIC.
WE'LL PUT A LITTLE ROPE SOMEWHERE.
SO I'VE GOT A LOT OF TABLES AND NETTING AND SCREENS.
I BROUGHT IN A SHARK.
I WANT IT TO FEEL LIKE WE'RE ACTUALLY, LIKE,
ON A BOAT, POSSIBLY, OR ON A DOCK.
"CHRISSY GAVE ME CRABS."
I LIKE IT. OKAY, I'LL PUT THEM--
- I LIKE IT.
- I'LL PUT THEM BY THE TABLE WHEN WE'RE READY.
- DAMN, MAN.
COME ON, WE GOT SO MUCH FOOD TO BRING UP HERE, MAN.
- I THINK WE CAN START PULLING THE BEANS,
PUTTING THEM ON TOP OF THAT OVEN.
- THROW 'EM IN THE HOTEL PANS. THROW SOME LIQUID IN THERE.
JUST LET THEM SIT IN THE OVEN.
- NO, THEY'RE ALREADY READY ALREADY.
- THEY'RE ALREADY IN HOTEL PANS. - THEY'RE IN HOTEL PANS.
HE'S GOT IT SEASONED WITH SUGAR AND BUTTER,
COVERED WITH THE THING--
ALL THEY HAVE TO DO IS GO IN THE OVEN.
- OH, THUG LIFE. - IT'S ALREADY READY ALREADY.
- ALL RIGHT. THAT'S WHAT'S UP.
- LET'S GO. COME ON.
COME ON.
COME ON, TURN, BOO-BOO. TURN IT.
WE CAN PUT IT ON AN ANGLE IF WE WANT TO.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? - I LIKE IT.
- I LIKE IT. - ON ANGLES.
- YEAH.
- HEY, UM, ARTIE.
I THINK THAT YOU MIGHT WANT
TO DO FOUR GROUPS OF TWO TABLES TOGETHER
INSTEAD OF PUTTING ALL THE TABLES APART.
IT'S GONNA MAKE IT LESS SOCIAL.
IF YOU SPLIT IT UP, IT'LL BE TOO SPLINTERED,
AND IT'S NOT GONNA BE, LIKE, FAMILY-STYLE ENOUGH.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
- AS USUAL, IT'S ROBLE'S WAY OR THE HIGHWAY.
WHY AM I HERE?
- OR YOU COULD DO, LIKE, TWO ROWS OF FOUR TABLES.
LIKE THAT. TWO ROWS OF FOUR TABLES.
YOU WANT PEOPLE TO BE TOGETHER AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.
I LOVE ARTIE. I RESPECT ARTIE.
I ENJOY WORKING WITH HIM, BUT THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS
THAT I'M NOT WILLING TO RELINQUISH.
- THEY ARE GONNA BE TOGETHER.
- WELL, THEY AIN'T TOGETHER RIGHT NOW.
OKAY? THANK YOU.
- [groans]
I'M SURE I'M GONNA HAVE TO CHANGE IT AGAIN.
- ARE YOU-- - WHAT?
- I HAVE NOT A CARE IN THE WORLD.
Y'ALL CAN HAVE THE TABLES HANGING ON THE WINDOWS.
I DON'T CARE.
- OH, MY GOD.
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GET YOUR BRA STRAP SO TIGHT?
- I DON'T CARE.
- I UNDERSTAND MY BROTHER IS DIFFICULT TO WORK FOR,
BUT ARTIE JUST NEEDS TO CHILL OUT.
- WHOO, WHOO, WHOO!
IT'S GONNA BE A WHOO-WHOO NIGHT, BOO-BOO!
- OH, THERE IT GOES.
ADAM, ADAM, YOU NEED TO PUT ALL THAT--
ALL THE POTS AND PANS IN THAT WINDOW.
EVERYBODY STOP, ONCE YOU GUYS GET THAT STUFF PUT AWAY,
AND LET'S GET DRESSED.
THIS IS HUMUNGOUS.
- I'M NOT INTO THIS AT ALL. I DON'T WANT TO WEAR THESE.
STUPID.
MAKES NO SENSE.
I'M A CHEF. I'M NOT A CLOWN.
- HEY, ROB'S TALKING ABOUT--
HE'S NOT THROWING THE OVERALL GANG ON, MAN.
- OH, HE'LL DO IT. - HE'S BUGGING OUT.
- HE BETTER DO IT. - HE'S GONNA DO IT.
- YEAH, HE HAS TO DO IT. - ROB.
GET YOUR OVERALLS ON, ROB.
- LOOK LIKE A CLOWN, MAN.
- IT'S YOUR TURN, BOLOGNA BOY!
LET'S GO, MAN!
- WHY DON'T YOU PEOPLE LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THIS?
- HEY, BEEF BOLOGNA! LET'S GO, GENOA SALAMI.
- ROB.
- COME ON. THEY'RE BRAND-NEW, DOG.
- GET 'EM, CAPTAIN.
- COME ON, ROB.
- YOU HAVE TO WEAR THE UNIFORM. - ROB.
- ALL RIGHT, I'LL DO IT.
IF IT GETS YOU GUYS TO LEAVE ME ALONE,
I'M GONNA DO IT.
- YES, WE WILL LEAVE YOU ALONE.
OKAY, THAT WASN'T NEARLY AS DIFFICULT
AS I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE.
- SO NOT INTO THIS RIGHT NOW, MAN.
I'M SO NOT INTO THIS [bleep].
- YOU DON'T HAVE A HAT.
LET'S JUST MESS HIS HAIR UP.
- I DON'T CARE. YOU CAN DO THAT.
- KIKU, WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE, MESS HIS HAIR UP.
- I DON'T WANT-- I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING--
- YOU LOOK GREAT. - YO, YO, IT'S PERFECT, MAN.
- YOU LOOK GREAT, MAN.
GET ON-- - [laughs]
- YOU LOOK GREAT, MAN.
YOU LOOK BETTER THAN ALL US.
- I DON'T WANT HIM TO PUNCH ME ON MY THIGH.
- ACTUALLY, I THINK THEY'RE RATHER SLIMMING.
- WHAT? THEY'RE RATHER SLIMMING.
- HEY, WE'RE ACTING LIKE PEOPLE
ARE NOT GONNA COME HERE AND EAT.
WE NEED TO BE DOING SOME WORK.
[upbeat music]
- YOU'RE SAYING YOU WANT ME TO MAKE IT RAIN?
- MAKE IT RAIN. MAKE IT RAIN GRITS.
- GUYS, WE GOT 45 MINUTES.
- GOOD JOB. YOU HAVE NICE HANDWRITING.
- LIKE MY CRAB? - YOU HAVE--
YOU HAVE GREAT PENMANSHIP. THAT'S GREAT.
YOU'RE SO TALENTED.
- LET ME--LET ME HELP YOU.
- THANK YOU. - OH, YOU'RE SO WELCOME.
THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE TO DO.
AH-AH-AH, DON'T CUT YET. DON'T CUT YET.
NOW CUT.
BE NEAT ABOUT IT, THOUGH.
- LIKE MARTHA STEWART NEAT? LIKE...
- YO, THAT CHICKEN IS GONNA BE GOOD.
IT'S BEEN BRINING FOR DAYS!
OH-HO-HO!
GIVE IT A STIR. GIVE IT A STIR.
GET YOUR TWO SPOONS RIGHT THERE.
♪ ♪
- HEY! - HEY!
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY! - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
- OH, MY GOODNESS! WHO IS THIS?
OH, MY GOODNESS! - AWW.
- OH, MY GOD. THIS LOOKS WONDERFUL!
- THANK YOU.
- SO, ARTIE, LET'S DO A LITTLE--
- LET'S DO A LITTLE WALK-THROUGH.
- COME ON OVER HERE. - OH, MY GOD--WAIT.
CAN WE GET IN? COME ON, JOHN.
- COME ON. SHOW THEM WHAT IT DOES.
- I LOVE IT.
I LOVE CHRISSY AND JOHN AS A COUPLE.
I THINK THAT THEY REALLY BALANCE EACH OTHER OUT.
- JOHN, YOU LOOK REALLY HAPPY FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE.
- OHH.
- [laughs]
- AND NOW WE HAVE...
- OH, MY GOD. LOOK AT THAT.
[laughter]
[clapping]
- SEE, SHAWN, I TOLD YOU IT'D BE WORTH IT.
- BYE, JOHN. - OH, MY GOD.
- ME AND CRABS ARE GONNA...
[laughter]
- HELLO, I KNEW THAT CHRISSY WAS GONNA LIKE THE COSTUME.
- CAN WE GET TWO SHOTS OF TEQUILA
JUST RIGHT NOW, REALLY QUICKLY?
- SURE. - OKAY.
- ARTIE, YOU DOWN? - I'M DOWN.
- I DON'T LIKE TO DRINK ALONE.
- WELL, THEN WE WON'T LET YOU DRINK ALONE.
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT ARTIE NEEDS
SO THAT WE CAN HAVE A GREAT EVENT,
AND I'M HOPEFUL THAT HE'LL STAY THIS WAY.
- OKAY, CHEERS. - CHEERS!
- THIS IS GORGEOUS. THANK YOU, GUYS.
- CHEERS.
- BUT ARTIE'S A GEMINI.
AND SOMETIMES GEMINIS CAN HAVE TWO FACES--
ONE WAY AND ANOTHER PERSON.
- ALL RIGHT, WELL, IT'S TIME TO START THE PARTY.
- HI, EVERYBODY! [laughs]
- QUESTLOVE IS HERE.
- HEY! HOLY [bleep].
I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU FOR A LONG TIME.
I HAD NO IDEA YOU GUYS--
- YOU'RE GOOD?
♪ ♪
- JESUS, THAT'S A HELL OF A LOT OF SEAFOOD.
IF SHE DIDN'T HAVE CRABS TONIGHT,
SHE CERTAINLY HAS THEM NOW.
- HEY, ROBLE. - YES?
- I'M GONNA CALL THEM ALL TO THE TABLE NOW.
- ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET IT, YO.
FOR CHRISSY'S 27TH BIRTHDAY,
I'M GONNA GIVE HER EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTS:
A SEAFOOD FREE-FOR-ALL.
WE'RE GONNA DO SOME REAL RUDE [bleep] RIGHT NOW.
YOU READY? FOLLOW MY LEAD, OKAY?
COME ON. LET'S DO IT.
IF YOU'RE AFRAID TO GET MESSY, YOU'RE AT THE WRONG PARTY
BECAUSE OUR MAIN ATTRACTION IS A SEAFOOD COOK-UP.
IT'S A PLETHORA OF SEAFOOD COVERED IN A SPICY TOMATO SAUCE.
I MEAN, HOW CAN THIS NOT BE GOOD?
- OH, MY GOD! [laughs]
HOLY [bleep]. THIS IS CRAZY!
- I LOVE COOKING SEAFOOD.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO TOO MUCH TO IT.
JUST DON'T OVERCOOK IT, DON'T OVERSEASON IT,
AND TREAT IT WITH RESPECT, AND YOU'RE GONNA COME OUT
WITH SOMETHING THAT'S GONNA MAKE PEOPLE VERY, VERY HAPPY.
- [laughing] - LET'S EAT!
- SIT THE [bleep] DOWN
AND EAT THIS [bleep], MOTHER[bleep].
- THAT'S VERY GOOD.
I'M HAPPY RIGHT NOW.
- HEY, POTATO SALAD MAN, HERE YOU GO.
OKAY? SEE THAT?
JUST FOR YOU. - YAY.
- CHRISSY GAVE US FREE REIN TO COME UP
WITH SIDE DISHES THAT WILL COMPLEMENT THE SEAFOOD.
AND NOTHING SAYS FAMILY-STYLE MORE THAN THINGS
LIKE BAKED BEANS, DIRTY RICE, AND POTATO SALAD.
- I GOT HOT FRIED CHICKEN COMING UP.
HOT FRIED, HOT FRIED, HOT FRIED.
- DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT WAYS
OF MAKING FRIED CHICKEN.
MY SECRET IS POWER MARINATION.
I PUT THE CHICKEN AND THE MARINADE
IN A PLASTIC BAG, AND THEN I VACUUM-SEAL IT.
BUT THE RECIPE'S A SECRET THAT WILL DIE WITH ME.
- ABSOLUTELY.
IT LOOKS GOOD. IT LOOKS--
- I'M NOT EVEN GONNA LIE.
I DON'T KNOW IF MY FRIED CHICKEN CAN STACK UP TO QUESTLOVE'S.
I DON'T KNOW IF MY FRIED CHICKEN CAN STACK UP TO QUESTLOVE'S.
- QUESTLOVE'S FRIED CHICKEN IS THE BEST FRIED CHICKEN
THAT I HAVE EVER HAD.
SO FOR HIM TO COMPLIMENT MINE IS FLATTERING.
- IT'S AMAZING.
♪ ♪
- THAT LOOKS AMAZING, KIKU!
THAT'S GONNA BE SO GOOD.
DO YOU SEE THIS?
THAT'S A MISSISSIPPI MUD PIE.
GO--GO PASS THEM AROUND THE TABLES.
MISSISSIPPI MUD PIES!
FOR DESSERT, WE'RE SERVING MISSISSIPPI MUD PIE.
IT WAS KIKU'S IDEA,
AND I FEEL LIKE IT'S A PERFECT FIT
AND A GREAT WAY TO END THIS MEAL.
[quirky music]
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
HEY. - HEY.
- YO. - HEY, WHAT'S UP?
- WHAT'S UP?
- RESPECT.
IT WAS EXACTLY THE WAY THAT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE.
- OH, GOOD. - AND YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN JOHN.
HE PICKED UP THAT MISSISSIPPI MUD PIE.
HE JUST STOPPED TALKING TO PEOPLE.
HE'S JUST LIKE-- - OH, MY GOD!
- [stammering] I SAT THERE AND WATCHED HIM.
I WAS, LIKE, LOOKING.
[growling]
I'M TELLING YOU!
KIKU AND I HAD A LOT OF UPS AND DOWNS,
BUT IN THE END, SHE GOT IT TOGETHER
AND FINISHED STRONG.
I JUST WANT TO LET Y'ALL KNOW THAT I'M VERY PROUD OF YOU GUYS.
HIGH FIVE, MY DUDE. HIGH FIVE.
ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL NEED ANYTHING, LET ME KNOW.
LET'S GET THIS CLEANED UP. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
- ALL RIGHT. - ALL RIGHT.
[dance music]
GUYS, YOU WANT TO GET THIS GROUP SHOT?
LET'S GET IT ROCKING. COME ON, COME ON.
- IT'S CLEAR THAT ROBLE AND I HAVE DIFFERENCES IN PHILOSOPHY.
IF I'M GONNA STAY, I HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT.
- HEY, ROBLE. THE CAKE GUY'S HERE.
- THAT'S AMAZING. - ISN'T THAT INCREDIBLE?
- THAT'S THE MOST AMAZING-LOOKING CAKE
I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.
IT'S A "CHRISSY'S GOT CRABS CRABTACULAR."
SO WHAT OTHER KIND OF A CAKE CAN SHE HAVE
EXCEPT FOR A [bleep] CRAB CAKE?
[cheering] - OH, MY GOD!
- ARE YOU GONNA BLOW OUT THE CANDLES ON YOUR CRAB CAKE?
- BLOW IT OUT, BABY!
- THIS LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THE CRABS I HAVE.
- PERFECT.
[cheering]
- CRAB CAKES, EVERYBODY. CRAB CAKE.
- THAT'S A CRAB. [laughs]
- EVERYBODY GATHER AROUND.
WE'RE SO GLAD ALL OF YOU GUYS CAME.
WE DEDICATE THIS NIGHT TO HER BECAUSE SHE DESERVES IT.
SHE'S, LIKE, THE SOURCE OF SO MUCH JOY
AND LOVE AND...
SHE'S 27 YEARS OLD.
- OH, SHUSH.
[all cheering]
- I WANT TO THANK CHEF ROBLE AND HIS WHOLE CREW...
[all cheering]
FOR PUTTING TOGETHER SUCH A GREAT CELEBRATION
- THANK YOU.
[all cheering]
[dance music]
♪ ♪
- THIS HAS BEEN A REALLY TOUGH, BUSY SEASON,
AND I'M PROUD OF MY TEAM FOR POWERING THROUGH
AND DOING A GREAT JOB.
THEY DESERVE TO CELEBRATE.
♪ ♪
- I WANT TO SAY IT WAS EXCITING TO DANCE WITH JOHN LEGEND.
BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, THE DUDE KIND OF CAN'T--
KIND OF CAN'T DANCE.
♪ ♪
- AHH.
ROBLE AND I HAVE HAD A LOT OF DISAGREEMENTS THIS SEASON.
BUT WHEN HE THANKS ME,
IT'S A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.
- HEY, GUYS, WANT TO GET THIS GROUP SHOT?
LET'S GET IT ROCKING. COME ON. COME ON.
- COME ON.
- EVERYBODY READY?
[shutter clicks]
[laughter]
- IT'S CLEAR THAT ROBLE AND I HAVE DIFFERENCES IN PHILOSOPHY.
- THAT'S THE KEEPER. THAT'S THE KEEPER.
- AT THE END OF THE DAY, IT IS ROBLE'S COMPANY.
ROBLE WANTS TO DO IT HIS WAY,
SO WE'RE GONNA LET ROBLE DO IT HIS WAY.
IF I'M GONNA STAY, I HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT.
THERE'S NO WAY AROUND IT.
ROBLE, I NEED YOU ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
- FOR WHAT?
- YOU HAVE TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT.
- OH, I CAN DO THAT. - OKAY, COME ON.
- OKAY.
- DESPITE ALL THAT,
THERE ARE A FEW THINGS I GET TO DO MY WAY.
- YEAH.
- ONE, TWO, THREE!
[cheering and laughing]
- THAT'S DELICIOUS!
♪ ♪
IT'S REALLY GOOD. - [laughing]
- ARTIE AND I WILL NEVER SEE EYE-TO-EYE.
IT'S NOT HAPPENING.
BUT WE HAVE MUTUAL LOVE
AND RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER.
THIS IS GOING ON ARTIE'S HEAD.
GO LOOK. GO SCOUT. WHERE IS HE?
ARTIE AIN'T GOING NOWHERE.
WHETHER HE LIKES IT OR NOT,
HE'S ONE OF US.
- OH!
♪ ♪
- HEY!