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Did you ever want to become a macho man to attract all the sexy ladies in the world?
Did you ever want to unleash the beast within you while earning tons of money while being in the spotlight of the ring?
Well GG (guys and girls), today's your lucky day because I'll show you how to become a...
In the laning phase, you'll learn the destructive Falcon Punch and it will be the main skill that you will use to *** off your opponent when he hides behind his minions' back.
And, if you want to duke it out with Soraka's monkey slave, just show the wannabe boxers how a one-two combo is really done.
If you want to push your lane, use your Falcon Punch to clean up the trash and, if you want to become a world-class boxer,
you need to harass your enemy AND pickpocket the minions at the same time with a single strike.
After training a bit at the gym, you will unlock the Bullet Bill skill,
a wonderful technique that will allow you to close the gap between you and a fuckabish to smack his pretty face like never before.
Since the enemy will be so mad at you for dominating the lane, he will call his ButtFucking Friend to gank you,
so use your Bullet Bill to escape from them without suffering a single scratch.
When you're ready to earn some fight money,
you should charge at the enemy with a Slamdunk and follow with a super Falcon Punch-Bullet Bill-Auto Attack-Falcon Punch-Ignite combo for the win.
If the enemy is a bit far away from you, use your Bullet Bill to get close to that pretty boy before using Rock Lee's Omote Renge Version 2,
slow him with your Blade of the Ruined King and punch him like there's no tomorrow.
Since you harass the *** out of your opponent all day all night, he'll be too scared to get close to you, so use a Charged Bullet Bill-Flash combo to make him *** in his pants like a baby.
If you don't have Flash, charge your Bullet Bill in that brush and wait until that under farmed champion tries to kill a minion to surprise solo kill him like a boss.
Sometimes, you might be the one being pushed over the edge,
but don't worry and let that kiddo attack you near your tower and Slamdunk that poor little guy without letting him escape from your clutch.
When you're done bullying the top lane, you should gank mid once in a while to have a marvelous threesome with two strangers
since you have one of the most amazing *** kit in the game.
When you become an experienced boxer, you'll be able to kill any squishy baby carry in a few hits without suffering any injury
and you'll be able to solo ninja gank that chibi cosplayer, no problem!
Thanks to your Bullet Bill skill, you'll be able to steal the lunch money of a bunch of people in one go
and you can magically pass through trees to greet your partners or to (THIS IS A FAKE COMMERCIAL).
With your beautiful Falcon Punch skill, you can show your big guns to the ladies by wrecking every raid party on your path and guess what?
The shock from that kind of punch will knock them down even if you attack the tower just like in chinese movies!
Thanks to your Slamdunk skill, you can prevent Teemo's Call Girl from running away with her broken fart jump.
When you get your Ravenous Hydra, taking every buff for yourself in less than 3 seconds will be EZ PZ.
In teamfights, you shouldn't hesitate to Leeroy Jenkins from the back to have the quickest quickie with a sexy foxy lady and dandy walk back home like nothing happened.
That's right! Thanks to all these Life Steal items, you can simply towerdive the enemy team without worrying about dying.
If you spot some easy kills, use your Blade of the Ruined King to get one of them and chase that RC Helicopter to smack him with your megaton punch like never before.
Become a Vi Stealer right now by ordering this super power glove for only $9.99!
Yes, only $999!
What's more? If you order within the next 40 seconds, you'll get an extra glove not for $999, but for a mere $8.99!
Yes, you heard right : 8-9-9!
What's even more? If you give this commercial a thumbs-up, you will have